Every day i wake up to depression.
I have a part time job as a server but it does not pay my bills witch makes me even more depressed.
Thought of killing my self run free through my mind i have all ready thought of a way to kill my self but have not gone through with it.
I have tried to talk to people about how i am feeling but to me it seems like eather they dont want to hear about my problems or they are to busy and dont really care.
My friend of 17 years has been the only person that i can open up to but when i talk about this with him he changes the subject.
I have no goals in my life i have a diploma from graduating high school i have tried to talk classes at a community collage but nothing seems of interest to me and i end up losing hope and stop going.
all that runs through my mind is killing my self im still living at home with my parents and when i try to talk to them about this they yell a swear and want to argue with me about this I dont really know why im even typing on here not like anyone really will care.
4 months away from hitting 30 and i still have nothing going for me makes me feel worthless
i cant find any reason to live for and each day drags on longer and longer i cant tell you enough how much i hate my life
then to top it all off i have a learning disability and H.A.A.D.D (Witch stands for hyper active attention deffest disorder) ya i know ill prob have people say get off the computer or stop complaining but i dont care i need to let this out.I wish i knew what to do its hard living a life that makes no sense to you and all you want to do is just die.
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However, as I age, it's becoming less and less important to end my life. I know that days will come soon now. I just try to make the best of each day, knowing I'll never be truly happy and just accepting the shit tossed at me each day. I have no plans for the future, dont save money, or much else. When I die, I die. It will be final peace for me, and mean little or nothing to others. I now believe my depression is hereditary, since my mother and other relatives had it all their lives until death.
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Dera Sacha Sauda is one of the such kind of spiritual organization run by "Saint Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Ji "with 40 million(still growing) follower following it to make their life... heaven.. It is just a miracle on this earth..
where a even a youngest child remain ready to help others.. its miracle.. daily thousands of miracle happen daily with everyone... and people get soothing spiritual upliftment in their life..
I also recommend that you find a professional counselor to talk with who will listen to you and help you. Often, low-cost therapy is available in most communities. Don't be afraid to reach out to people who make it their life's work to help others.
Once your depression is alleviated, Volts, then you will have the emotional strength to improve the other aspects of your life. Not until then. So get the help you need to take care of that problem first.
Exercise is great for releasing natural endorphins that help you feel better, so force yourself start walking regularly or do some other physical activity that gets your heart pumping and muscles moving.
Don't kill yourself. While it might permanently end your problems (and your future), it only passes along new, terrible problems on to those who know and love you. Your parents would be crushed by it.
Be strong and get help.
Once you're feeling better, start reading. Develop new skills, find a new career. You CAN do it. Just take the first step, and then another one.
And keep the number for a crisis/suicide hotline close at hand, to use whenever things become overwhelming, to help you hang in there for a better day.
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