I don't even know where to start. Has it really come to this? Am I now so pathetic that I have to post my troubles on this website? How do I not have one person that I can talk to?
I am 24 years old, married with two small children, and zero friends. Growing up I was not popular, pretty, athletic, I wasn't really anything. I was just there. My parents didn't really take much intrest in me and neither did anyone at school. I had one friend growing up, if you could really call her that. We were only friends when it was convenient for her. We didn't hang out at school only at home. It was like this from 2nd grade until presently.
I didn't graduate High School, only because I didn't care enought to try. The only way I ever got attention was to act stupid and ditsy when truthfuly I am pretty smart.
I started dating a guy (now my husband) straight out of High School. I didn't even like him, and was never physically attracted to him. He is a handsome guy, very inshape and strong masculine features. I just settled because he liked me so much and I didn't think I would ever do any better. Now that I look back I don't know why I thought that, I was actually very pretty and have the perfect body. (average height, big boobs, tiny waist, pretty face) I probably could have had any guy I wanted.
Anyway I dropped out of my first year of college because he wanted to join the military and my dumb ass just followed him and gave up on my self. We eloped got pregnant shortly after and then very quickly again. So for the past for years I have pretty much been a single mother while he has been deployed. It's just me and the kids all day. He's home now and I realize I don't like him very much. We hardly speak to one another, we are broke, about to loose our house, and considering a divorce.
The one friend I mentioned before is married into money and is far to good for the likes of me now. So I have no one, except for my kids. I love them very much and wish I were someone they could be proud of but I know I'm not. I have no purpose in life outside of my kids. Like I said before Im a fairly smart person and wish I were able to get back in school and do something for myself, and prove everyone wrong but I for one can't afford it.
I have tried applying for several jobs but never any replies. I feel completely worthless and alone. I hate everything about my life. Mostly I hate myself for allowing myself to get to this place, and now I am stuck here. And no one even cares. | |
Maybe your personality sucks.
Im not trying to be the usual nigger hoo is going try to feed you things to make you feel better, this is the truth, as hard as it is to belive rite now. I will prey for you my dear.
OP, I feel so sorry for your husband. I wonder, what if you had of realized how good looking you were early enough to avoid settling? Perhaps you could of avoided lumping him with a such a miserable nothing.
Angry at life or weakened by living? Keep pushing forward or lay and die? Start thinking...Please...
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