I am just your average fucked up individual with no meaning in life and no real reason for existence. I fantasize everyday, tell myself I have some meaning. But then I realize it's just bullshit. It's just hope that keeps you going. It's just hope that keeps the poor occupied while the rich live the fucking life.
Sometimes I wish all the hurt and broken people would unite together. Then maybe we could heal. But fuck it. We're weak, that's the only reason we're in this shit anyway.
I don't know how to accept that. I don't know how to accept that I am just weak and I always be, and that I will never change my fate in life, because I couldn't even be fucked or motivated enough to try.
I thought I found true love, twice. Those two girls are the only ones I ever shared anything with - and now? Fuck I don't even know where they live or what their numbers are... we've just drifted apart and it's been five years since I've seen either of them.
So now I spend christmas alone. Fuck I don't even believe in god. Christmas is just about family and gathering around, feeling connected. I never feel connected.
I am 21 years old and just another face in a sea of faces. We're all going to the same place. The same graves. And it makes no fucking difference what any one of us thinks about it.
I think about sex constantly. Sex has ruined my life. I've had every sexual thought imaginable.
I'm intimitely hopeless. I couldn't be intimate with a girl because I don't even know what intimacy is - besides I've been fucking ignored by girls my whole life.
I'm so bored of all this shit.
| |
I know it's just a bs idea, but it's pleasant to think of anyway. Hang in there
If you just forget about what all the christians of today are saying because 70% of them are bullshit, and you take all the theology out of the way and just think about God a being that is above you and is LETTING you go through this, why don't you pray to him cuz my life sucks too i just remember that God put me here and I also remember what he said in His Word "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."
and i remember that i need to stop worrying about this life because when i die i'm going to paradise this life seems so long but really it's just like a 4 hour movie, i mean sure its long but it will be over.
That said there are people who do well in life, a lot of people work there asses off because they are afraid they will be left out. Others have good connections, and other do well when left to themselves to be creative.
All guys think about sex constantly when they are not getting it. Its nothing new, its called a sex 'drive' for a reason.
In regards to being ignored, a lot of girls are ignored for a life time. How about you just for starters trying making friends with some of those girls who get ignored, maybe learn a few things about the hidden needs and wants of girls.
If you bored, than your a boring person simple as that.
New Comment