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Life sucks, and there literally is nothing I can do about.

Posted by B at December 4, 2011
Tags: 2011 December  Family  Money

Life sucks, and there literally is nothing I can do about it.

I'm 20 years old, and I'm stuck.
I live with my mother because I have to. Housing declares I must live with my mother for us to qualify for this house, and my mother refuses to find a new place just to cater to me, so I'm stuck.
I cannot get a real job according to housing, so I am forced to sit at home and do nothing but silly online commissions that bring me nothing, and to work a few hours a week at a local farm for a bit of spare change.
My mother works two days a week and milks the government for money, and won't work more because of it. She is an alcoholic, and wastes all of our food.
We have nothing in our fridge except for the one day a month we receive our foodstamps. She refuses to let me shop, and so she goes to the store to buy junk food and food that generally is eaten up as snacks. With two overweight and wasteful sisters, it's all gone.
Then, we live off ramen and food pantry food, which isn't very much.
I was given a car for my birthday by some rich distant family member because he was going to throw it away, and it's in my mother's name.
I don't believe in smoking or drinking.
My mother recently broke her rib for the fifth time from driving drunk. She told me herself she's sore, but it's no big deal.
She has something wrong with the nerve in her leg, and can barely lift her right foot, although if it's for booze she'll run as fast as a greyhound.
So, she cannot drive. Although, she will steal my keys at any given time of day if and when she can find them.
She is so infuriating. She takes advantage of people, and pays little to no attention to what you believe in.
I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 years, and we plan on getting married. She wants me to dump him because she believes I should only "date" men for their money, to go on vacations, etc. This is not an assumption: She actually does this to others, and has told me this to my face, and thinks I'm stupid for wanting to settle down.
So, now I am obligated to get her the things she needs because she is homestuck.
I will go to the store ONCE per day, nothing more.
In the past week, I've gone to the store enough times to leave my own damned tire tracks in their parking lot. She made me literally argue with the pharmacist at Walmart to call her doctor at about 9pm right before they close just to get her prescription a week early, and for no reason other than that she has to be doped up on SOMETHING at all times or she becomes a raging asshole. I have to lock my door for fear that she will stab me or punch me, or let my dog out with no leash or collar.
Today, I went to the store twice already. I told her that when we receive our stamps at midnight, I will go shopping for what she needs.
Let me tell you for your information that my mother is NOT nice about asking for things. She will request her things in formats similar to this: "Okay, listen, retard. Blah blah blah"
Well, I told her I was going at midnight and that I could get her shit when I go.
She then starts screaming and calling me a bitch with no life, and WHO am I to tell HER what she can and cannot do, and if I don't leave my car keys out she'll call the cops on me because she needs her cigarettes NOW and she needs a Blast (alcoholic beverage) NOW.
So here I am telling her I barely have enough money to buy toilet paper to wipe my ass, and no I do not have cash to buy cigarettes or booze. She then takes money out of the set aside bill fund, throws it at me, and tells me to take her NOW.
I can't stand her. She treats me and my family like shit. I can't even teach my sisters how to properly blow their nose (literally) without her screaming at me to leave them be and stop talking to them.
I tried to move out, and succeeded for a few months, until Housing told me to get back NOW.
I'm stuck. I'm tired of this "mother" that treats me like I am nothing but a pest, and I'm tired of her "cheese surprises" left all over the kitchen at night, I'm tired of her doing my sister's homework instead of teaching them how to do it and yelling at me when I do try to help, I'm tired of her threatening me to get out when she knows full well that I CAN'T, I'm tired of her stealing my things and giving away my paintings and giving my dog shit she shouldn't eat, I'm tired that she has not cleaned the house in over a year and we live like pigs even when I spend all of my free time trying to clean the damned place, eugh.
All I am learning is that life sucks, and all I can do when I come home is tell my sisters to turn off all the damned lights and to stop leaving the door open and to start flushing the toilet and to actually throw their fucking garbage away and for people to stop using the stove to light their cigs, and it's like a nightmare. I'm trying to keep order and actually teach my sisters manners, but she tells them to ignore me because I don't know anything.
I remember a time when I listened to her and did everything she told me without question because that's how I was raised. Well, as soon as she started leaving me home at night as an infant all by myself and letting me go in rooms with the windows open as a child up on the fourth floor of our apartment at time, my dad came and saved me. He told me horror stories about my mother and how badly she treated him and me in the past, and that he hated her and that I hope I understand when I'm older. I remember as a child, my dad told her to cut down on her drinking one night, and she threw a punch at him. My dad was 70 years old at the time, and she was only 34, and over 300 pounds.
If I call the cops on her for mental abuse she threatens she will call the cops and blackmail my dad and say he abused and raped me. Once, my dad refused to come all the way to her house to bring her more booze, and she DID call the cops and say all of that. That day, someone came to the school and pulled me out of class to ask me about all of these horrible things my dad was, apparently. I told them all my mother was a liar and that my dad was the best thing I've ever had in my life, and to leave him alone because I loved him and I hated my mother.
All in all, I can't get away from her..


Similar Entries:
Does Life Get Better? Or Is It Just A Myth? January 25, 2012
crap November 5, 2011
The Sound of Silence  April 23, 2012
My life sucks so bad; its so pathetic that I cant do nothing.. July 3, 2011
FML February 6, 2011

New Comment

By anonymous at 04,Jan,12 18:03

I would just leave. Fuck that shit. I know the economy is bad right now, but you can always find a way out if enough ingenuity. You are not a minor anymore and can leave if you want to legally. I hope you at least have a high school diploma. If you are in shape, try to join the military. Hell, I would rather even get a retail job that only pays $8.50 per hour and find roomates to share the rent and expenses than live with your mother. When she dies, she is going to have a rude awakening, since Hell is probably real. The existance of Hell is the only thing that makes since as the great equalizer of punishing wicked people that have seemingly easy lives.

By anonymous at 05,Jan,12 01:19

That really sucks, but you should just leave. You can't live the rest of your life like that...
I know that she's your mother and it's hard to say that...i would never call "mother" such a person. You have all your life in front of you, so live it! Life doesn't suck!:) life is that you make it . Make it however you want and be happy.

By anonymous at 05,Jan,12 09:52

Seriously, get out of there. You might even be better off living in a youth hostel until you can put some money together, and that's saying something. My mom was a drunk, immature narcissist and I took off at 17. I can't say my life is great but it's much better than it would have been had I stayed.

By anonymous at 05,Jan,12 11:30

Your 20years old time to let your mom go and live your life and not be controlled by her .
You life is a gift why waste it in a woman who is selfish and knows she is holding you back ??

Report her and go live your life !
If you do nothing you will be come a bitter old person who will regret you did nothing for yourself .

By anonymous at 05,Jan,12 12:31

I'm in the same place but with my father/Sometimes I just feel like I should leave and live in my car/Anything would be better than that shit

By anonymous at 05,Jan,12 16:48

I live at home too because I cant afford to move out and even if I did I would be living on nothing cause there are no more good paying jobs these days ,so I just drink myself to death cause thats better than feeling the dissapointment and pain...
My advice just start drinking a lot...

By anonymous at 05,Jan,12 18:10

Just leave. Seriously. First get a job. 25 hrs a week. Find Roomates on craigs list. Move out. Dont even tell them and never go back. Don't leave contact information. Just go.

By anonymous at 06,Jan,12 04:58

Hunnie, I am very sorry that your life is hell - it is her disease and NONE of it is yours. Be kind to yourself and know that life is not about being tortured - you CAN create happiness. You have the strength and courage to want better - create a plan and don't put up with it any longer. I grew up in a negative f-----d up environment and felt only hopelessness & hell, I raised myself since very young and have gotten help to redirect the pain and anger into positivity. I encourage and support you to escape. Much love.

By anonymous at 06,Jan,12 21:23

You don't deserve this, no one does.

Join a church and find friends to help you, if one church couldn't help, another one will. It is our Christian duty to help people like you.

Please stay alive, stay safe, and do not lose hope.

By anonymous at 06,Jan,12 21:41

if i were you i would end it like i will problaby commet suicide at the age of 11

By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 04:05

i hate my life i hate every thing

By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 06:43

call me, lets date , make babies and be happy

By anonymous at 07,Jan,12 16:06

NO thanks.. i CANT afford babies not in this life time anyways.. But thank for the proposal..

By anonymous at 09,Jan,12 21:49


By anonymous at 10,Jan,12 13:25

HMMM.. in that case NOOOOOO THANKS... because if you cum that fast then that means NO SATISFACTION GUARANTEED..

By anonymous at 12,Jan,12 13:12


By anonymous at 13,Jan,12 23:49

You fucks

By anonymous at 25,Feb,12 21:55

Easy answer... move away from her, as far as you can... just DONT say anything to anyone, when she is out of the house grab your stuff and disappear forever of her are over 18 so you can legally leave anytime... just dont say anything to avoid the trouble.

Who cares if she loses her housing or anything... she doesnt care about you so you should not care for her either... walk away and live your own life...

By anonymous at 10,Mar,12 15:44

Ok, don't just leave without a plan or else you will fail. What you need to do is either try an get your OWN housing. Or attend a local Junior College--collect some financial aid and sign up for a transfer ASAP. Once done you can pretty much go any where and Financial Aid will cover you--mostly. That with a side job and some local food banks you should barely be making it but anything would be better then your current situation......Mainly you need a plan before you just up and go! Make A PLAN!

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