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Posted by anonymous at April 4, 2010
Tags: 2010 April  General

I posted a life sucks sometime earlier, but things have happened and now things are coming back.

I had a long-term girlfriend that cheated on me and gave me an STD. I had to have treatment to get it taken care of and I feel disgusted by it still.

My grandpa just had a stroke and is dying. When my grandmother died and I was told, I didn't know how to react so I laughed. To this day, I can't forgive myself -- am I really such a piece of shit?

One of my long-term friends hung himself and at the time he did it, him and I weren't very friendly towards one another and now I live with the burden of knowing I wasn't there for him, while all of our friends rally around him and bring him up while I hide my face in shame during those conversations -- the worst part is, he's gone. He had it all, and I'm a complete piece of shit and he's the one who is dead.

I was kicked out of high school twice for truancy. I never graduated. I've dropped out of college four times. The first time, I quit because I was suicidal. The second time, I quit because I was suicidal again. The third time I quit, I realized after enrolling that there was no way I could pay for it. Fourth time, I quit because I just decided to give up and do nothing. And now I have no choice but to do nothing because my lack of ambition, my lack of opportunity, my lack of direction and my lack of common fucking sense has kept me from finding a reason to get off my ass and fucking do something.

I owe a lot of people a lot of money and I make very little money, it all goes to something or other and the money that I have left over, which I should be saving, goes to buying beer. Every day, I get off work and buy a beer. Which turns into two beers, which turns into three, which turns into six or seven or eight. And every morning I swear off drinking. That only lasts until I get off work and get home. It's a hellish cycle and the worst part is, I CAN CONTROL IT, I'm just so absent-minded and whimsical that I can't stick to anything to better my life, if even for just a moment.

I've been to jail three times for pointless bullshit and because of it I find it difficult to find a job. And really, this part is not my fault -- it's a judge's and police officer's fault and I suppose that it's PARTIALLY my fault because I was young and naive and didn't get a lawyer to defend me. I took a plea bargain and ended up getting fucked by the legal system's loophole. Now I have fucked up credit and a fucked up criminal history. And guess what, I live in America, where credit and your background = everything if you want the life that was promised to you.

And I don't even want that life. I don't want that shit, I just want to be happy, but for some reason I can't get past my own lethargy to do something. And now, that I'm finally working, I realize that my past mistakes will keep me from enjoying anything for a long, long time... I don't know if I have the stomach for that fight. I've since lost the heart.


New Comment

By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 15:47

Give up all alcohol for the rest of your life, do not touch a drop. Get religious/spiritual counseling. I would recommend a psychologist, but you are too much in denial. You expect that the world owes you a living. For every step forward, you take two steps backwards, but to no see it.

By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 16:07

you are an american so you are already f*&@*d you should do what all american should do cut your neck
By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 19:56

And what enlightened country do you come from. Share with us.
By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 20:25

Aotearoa but not that you would even Know where it is
By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 21:49

Aotearoa (Australians use is the term 'Sheep-shagger') is the most widely known and accepted Māori name for New Zealand. Although Māori make up only 14% of the population, they make up almost 50% of the prison population. Māori have higher unemployment-rates than other cultures resident in New Zealand Māori have higher numbers of suicides than non-Māori. "Only 47% of Māori school-leavers finish school with qualifications higher than NCEA Level One; compared to a massive 74% European; 87% Asian." Māori suffer more health problems, including higher levels of alcohol and drug abuse, smoking and obesity. Also, a recent study by the New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse showed that Maori women and children are more likely to experience domestic violence than any other ethnic group.

Aotearoa 4.5 million people and 45 million sheep? Aotearoa, where the men are men, and the sheep are nervous!

When a tourist coach passed through a small country town in Aotearoa, one of the passengers noticed a sheep tied to a lamppost on the corner in the main street. "Oh that," said the guide, "that's the Recreation Centre"

Happy sheep shagging!
By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 22:01

wrong there was that many sheep in the early 80's now dairy cows out number sheep the Austrlians are as bad but not very good at rugby
By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 23:06

Austrians? What do they have to do with this? The national sports in Austria are association football (soccer), skiing, and ice hockey.
If you are talking about Australia, their national sports are Footy (Australian rules football), soccer (association football), and cricket.
Rugby is a poofter sport for Kiwis.
By anonymous at 04,Apr,10 23:16

you are a poofter australia england africa france play rugby soccer is gay for faggots like you
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 00:21

Rugby is for rich kids.

Football (aka soccer) is the sport of the people.

Why are you people arguing about this shit here anyways? Get a life or maybe go learn how to spell you racist Maori piece of shit.
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 00:37

come here and I give you a betting off your life
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 01:14

You'll bet me off my life? That doesn't make any sense.

By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 00:41 Fold Up

Come here bro I give you a smack in the mouth you peice of white trash
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 01:14

It must suck to be a Maori. That's why they're all on this website.
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 01:45

come here bit of shit I will cut your head off with a Taiaha
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 14:24

Bit of shit?


HAHAHAHAHA. Learn to speak English before you try and insult me in. Faggot!
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 04:45 Fold Up

Apparently their sheep have been replaced by cows. No wonder they are frustrated. Without sheep, they have no sex partners.
P.S. I do not play soccer (a poofter sport) or rugby.
Riddle: Why do Maori carry such long Taiahas?
Answer: Because they have such short doodles.

By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 01:47

I think these idiots have gone off the topic

By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 11:07

U must be a fucking Moron, U didn't finish high school but yet, u dropped out of college, how the fuck did u get into college without finishing high school? HUH? U FUCKING MORON, WHAT A DOUCHE BAG, GO JUMP OFF AT THE SEARS TOWER IN MALAYSA, U WILL BE 100% DEAD :O
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 11:08

geez, u need to know your geography, the sears tower is in chicago USA LOL
By anonymous at 05,Apr,10 14:23

LOL. Sears Tower...

And you don't need a high school diploma to go to college. There's certain things called a GED and even a community college which requires nothing other than you to pass placement tests (which is also true for private colleges).
By anonymous at 06,Apr,10 19:19

GED? Girls eating dicks? hmmm interesting

By anonymous at 06,Apr,10 01:32

all you guys are assholes.....

By anonymous at 09,Jul,10 05:51

walmart will help you save money to live better

By at 26,Nov,11 12:05

Thank God! Someone with branis speaks!

By Benedicte at 04,Mar,13 05:39

Hey, sorry. There's just one thing that needs correcting for you who are reandig this.Commitments is at 7pm and the Talk starts at 7:30pm so make sure you're early.

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