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I Dumb Life Dumb

Posted by Christmas Navidad at January 3, 2012
Tags: Anxiety  Health  2012 January  Sociopathy

I hate everything,I'm ugly and I have paranoid schizophrenia my life has always sucked I recall no pleasant memories i had a terrible childhood my father smoked crack and would leave for extended periods when he was home he would beat the shit out of me as did my mother she was also so very cold and emotionless. I've never had friend in my life.I never get to leave my house because my dad won't let me,this has resulted in major social anxiety a trip to the doctor or grocery store or whatever almost always results in a panic attack and I have no education I admit that is my fault for dropping out of school due to anxiety and depression I could have stuck it out .I'm such a loser I have no goals or anything to look forward to, I am always completely alone but that's fine I hate everyone any way I've spent the last 4 years laying in my bed & crying I should be in college or working but here I am: 19 in my parents house wishing I had the balls to kill myself. I used to collect vinyl records to pass the time and give me something to do but I don't care anymore it was just a waste of money,And I'm very embarrased I cared so much about a first press KING TUFF LP or whatever the fuck none of it matters life is so pointless,stupid and gross I'm a loser cry baby


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Comments:
By anonymous at 30,Jan,12 21:01

Get your GED, and maybe go to Job Corps or part time at a commnunity college to train for a job you think you might be able to tolerate. Apply for state health insurance and get some anti anxiety pills from a psychiatrist (they prescribe better pills). get away from your abusive parents. hiding in your room isn't going to help. Its not over till you're homeless or sucking dick for a living. You can't afford to make mistakes, don't let anyone else fool you into thinking you have time to waste hanging out with idiots and getting stoned. Trust me, you can't afford to make ANY mistakes in your position. Only rich kids can afford to fk around and they don't give damn about you or your well being.


By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 05:00

c'mon man, you're 19.....you're an adult, if you want to leave the house, then leave.....if your dad puts his hands on you and you can't handle him yourself, call the cops and tell them that he put his hands on you......i'm in a shit sandwich like you, but i know as well as you do that there is a HUGE world out there.....there are so many things you can get into.....seriously, become something that you'll be accepted easily into.....become a star wars geek....sell everything you can and buy a bike to ride.....yes, a simple 10 speed bike....each day you'll ride a little further and further.....learn about fitness....throw yourself into something, remember.....there is no such thing as "nerd" or "cool" once you're out of high school.....there is only rich and poor......(and when i say rich, it isn't necessarily referring to the amount of money in someone's bank account)


By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 05:38

Im sorry to hear about your troubles. I know what it's like to stay in your room for days on end. I agree with the previous comments. Your still young, you need to find the strength within your self and do the first step. From personal experiance jesus has always helped me and given me strength to move forward. This life is temporary, do you know there is more to life then just being "successfull". Give your life to jesus, ask for forgivness for your sin (everyone has sinned) and ask jesus to come into your heart, and really mean it. Pray to him, ask him for direction and help. He changes peoples lives everyday. More importantly he'll give you everlasting life. He is there for you, he loves you with love that cant be comprehended. No matter what pit you find yourself in, Jesus is not far to help. Google iamsecond, some videos of christians who's lives have been changed, also youtube nick vujicic. A man born with no arms or legs who has a very successful life. If you want to talk more email me at kev2077300@maricopa.edu

Take care man, you are loved.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 16:11

The thing about people with no arms and legs and other disabilities is that you will often find that they have marvelous families and social networks of loving people. Thats how POWERFUL a loving family and social network is. This is why I hate when that example is used. You have the exact opposite problem. A working body, but no loving support. In some regards you are even poorer than people with disabilities. But they key to rising above this is to take advantage of all that you do have, which is your working body/mind. This unfortunately is your life struggle. You have to draw from inside, rather than outside. Get in touch with the core of your being where the incorruptible goodness of the Holy Spirit resides in you, and will ALWAYS reside in you, no matter how small and buried it may seem under the weight of pain and shortcomings. You HAVE the Holy Spirit, this all powerful force. Draw it towards you more and more. This is the nonjudgmental compassionate friend you need. You won't hear it speak, but you can feel it, inside you beyond the verbal. The more you become resolute, the more you in faith persevere, the stronger you will feel her. Have FAITH. Say THINGS WILL GET BETTER. Not Might- WILL! YOU Will GET A JOB. YOU WILL GET A MIRACLE!. Stay steadfast and never settle for the company of those who are below you.
Be kind, but not insincere. Firm when you need to be but willing to meet people halfway. Be smart and aware but act with your soul. Listen to your intuition.
Your ancestors have through thousands of years instilled this survival mechanism in you, through their own trials and their death. They are alive in you, guiding you.
By anonymous at 31,Jan,12 16:28

--There are parts of your mind that do not work. But there is the conscious part of you that knows this. The demons from below that dwell in many men have risen to the surface to distract you from your path. You must weaken the demons to the point that you not only can't hear them, but to where they are totally eradicated for good. To do this you have to cultivate the Holy Spirit so it grows and takes their place, and fill up all the weak and empty places where your enemy dwells in you. This is one of the worse positions a person can be in. Where the enemy knows you intimately. It is like a spy that has infiltrated the village. No good can come of this. You can't just tie him down or send him off. You must kill the traitor and fortify your village from further attackers, the enemy pretend to be your friend but is merciless and you will have no wife, children or home, because destroy and pillage all you have. You must be a warrior to win this battle. You have to be brave. Pray to the Almighty Creator to provide you with the fortification and means to do this. The spirit is on your side. You must take action.


By anonymous at 03,Feb,12 03:52

Bitch, get an Xbox live account and voice your frustrations. It gets better. Then make your voice be heard in real life, shortly after you murder a whole battalion of pussies online. That will make you feel more violent in nature and eventually want to make you murder that father of yours. I would, but not really. I'd just whoop his candy ass. He beat you because of his own short comings. Identify the target son. Your father is a piece of shit. But one day, you have to beat his ugly ass up. Just do it. Teach em a lesson. But don't kill em..


By anonymous at 26,Feb,12 02:50

Fuck up man ! you have to be strong and mature . this is your life do what you want .you want it just go to get it ! no one can hold you back but you yourself !!!! cheer man


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