LIFE SUCKS

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I hate my life.I'm treated as an outcast everywhere i go.i only have two friends and they are both very popular and get all the girls and have tons of other friends.Not me however.i have never had a girlfriend and have been so ashamed of myself that i lied to them and told them i had one but we broke up.My family knows the truth and instead of motivating me they make fun of me and laugh about how i still never had a girlfriend.My own uncle called me gay just because i never had a girlfriend.At school im still an outcast.I sit with all the other uncool people and I get laughed at by them too. They are always making jokes about my weight since I'm fat.I'm also definitely not going to be able to get a girlfriend any time soon since all the girls in my school are attracted to assholes and the only way to be popular in my school is to make fun of other people and get in a lot fights.I'm a nice person. I don't enjoy picking on people. My friends know I'm unpopular and yeah they still hangout with me but it damages me to see all the girls, accomplishments, and friends they have. I feel like I could just dissappear and they wouldnt notice.Eveny own brother dosent like me.He even told me that he wished that my cousin John was his brother instead of me.I envy my cousin John so much because everyone likes him more than me.Everytime i meet a new person they are all over John but ignore me.What am i suppose to do i have no one to go to and my only friends wouldnt understand my pain.I have tried to tell them but they dont understand since they have never dealt with what I deal with.My God, my own dad is disappointed in me.He is always talking about when am I going to get a girl or why am i not like my brother.I want to commit suicide so bad but the only thing keeping me from doing it is the fear of what happens after i die and the fear of being forgotten after i die