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I am Dead after this. im sorry mom

Posted by Little Sad Man at March 25, 2012
Tags: Attitude  Failure  2012 March

I am small lone loser. I hate all my 21 years of my life. I have never had friends and family. I lost my job and got fired for being an outcast to my fellow employees and boss eventhough i am a hard worker and make most of the revenue in our company. I always been taking prescrition anxiety pills and been drinking lot of alcohol and doing lot of crystal meth which i get from dealers that live near my apartment stairs. I live in my dad's apartment. My dad cries every night of the death of my mother when i was born. and blames me for her death. My dad throws empty bottles at me when i come home. I go to my room and cry. i cry all day and this is my life every day of the week and my lone time is to go on my dial up online and play runescape and be in my imaginary world of dungeans and dragons and feel free of this real world of mine. When i was little like 9 years old kids in my school bullied me and when i went to juvie for robbing a convinent store with plastic knife.. i got raped by a mexican boy who was 17 and put a pipe in my little 13 year old anus... plus it broke my hip bone... so rest of my life i became limped and had a cane to walk with.... i look in the mirror and think about is it my fault that i killed my mother and deserve this life i have now?....


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New Comment

By anonymous at 25,Mar,12 07:04

By at 25,Mar,12 13:51

THIS DUDE IS FOR REAL MAN. He got some serious issues.

By at 25,Mar,12 13:49

I feel sorry for you man. it isn't your fault your mother died. Your dad needs to stop drinking.... u too plus stop taking drugs like crystal meth and cocaine they have serious addictions... try to move out of your dad's place where it reminds you of the past and live for your future.... think about getting a pet like a dog who can be a friend to you but, keep you up toe on the rsponsibilites... this will help you move on

By Cursed at 25,Mar,12 16:52

Awwww sweetie-
What a life?!! I can't believe it, but if it's true, I am so, so, sad for your state of affairs. I walk with a limp/gimp since I severely fractured my ankle last year. Living with pain, no one understands until it happens to them. So, like the poster above mentioned, you are not to blame for your mother's death. Absolutely not! Your father, rather than embrace what he had left, decided to place the blame and hurt on you. That is not fair. And is emotionally abusive. You're only 19! You have your own apartment? That's wonderful! What you gotta do now is quit the drugs. If you're on prescription meds, combining them with alcohol and meth, well, it's like they cancel each other out. The meds can't do their job because the alcohol is making you depressed and the meth is making you high. So you're like a YO-YO. Up and down. Up and down. Can you stop doing them on your own? Do you need help quitting? Trust me kid- your life will get soooooo much better if you cut those two things out!
Your past is part of your problem. Having all those horrible things happen to you is severely affecting your self-esteem and confidence. Is there anyone you can talk with- other than us? Talking helps.
Well, on the bright side- you've got your own place, you're a pro at D & D, and you're young. You're resillient at 19! Take advantage of that, and turn your life around!
We are all here rooting for you kid-
Good luck- YOU CAN make it happen!
By Cursed at 25,Mar,12 16:55

Hey- I don't know where 19 came from, but 21 is way too young! You have time to change. Do it!

By anonymous at 25,Mar,12 17:28

My best advise for you man is to commit suicide and yes you did kill your mother... make your mother and dad proud and kill yourself
By at 25,Mar,12 18:49

Wow your a fucking asshole
By anonymous at 26,Mar,12 00:01 Fold Up

Dude if I ever find out who you are, I'm kicking your ass.
How dare you.
Its sickening how people will say shit like this over the internet but not to peoples faces. Its fucking cowardly.
By anonymous at 26,Mar,12 00:02 Fold Up

ps that reply was for anonymous, the guy supporting suicide.
By anonymous at 26,Mar,12 00:58 Fold Up

what a disgusting animal.
By anonymous at 26,Mar,12 02:24 Fold Up

Wow. You are just sick. So if I commit suicide and leave a note saying it was you, you're cool with that? Maybe YOU should.

By anonymous at 26,Mar,12 01:04

awwww, little sad man. i am SOOOOOOO sorry if this is all true, sweety. about everything you have been through. you are NOT little. you are a STRONG and COURAGEOUS MAN.

you are young and don't take your dad's actions to heart. he seems like he is a depressed alcoholic. and he is not a good father. it is NOT your fault that your mom died. i am sure your mom would want you to be strong and continue on and loves you. have you tried going to school? apply for other jobs. maybe make friends with others who like to play dungeons and dragons. you can find groups on don't give up, sweety. you never know what tomorrow will bring.

if you ever need anyone to talk to, you can always email me g-d bless you, little man.

By anonymous at 26,Mar,12 13:06

Hey, sweety don't listen to that crazy mongrel who pushes you to - ohh..i can't even bring myself to say it right out. What i have to say is: Be strong all the time and you're way too young you can still do a lot of things that will change your life's present situation. It's NOT your fault for whatever happened to your mother and you're dad may be just so depressed for trying to hurt you he'll get over with it in time anyway youll see and you'll start to feel better until then. Trust me. good luck and here's warm hug for ya from the phil.
By anonymous at 30,Mar,12 14:29

Hi im soooo sorry u had to endure this. You are bot at fault at all. I feel the same exact way and when i read ur story i burst into tears. You are a strong, courageous person full of strength to deal with this just as i am. I want u to God loves u and I and something good is going to happen. Focus on u. Understand that they punished Jesus too. Understand your emotions and that you are still loved. I love u so much as another human being and i pray u will be happy and full of smiles. Please dont hurt urself like me because others hurt us. Do things u like such as a positive hobby and be true to u. If u need a friend email also i know its hard to have fun when u r so unhappy but focus on ur happiness, u deserve a beautiful lady beautiful children and the nicest veh. Best job. Go out and get it. Dt let others dictate ur life. Thats wat im trying to do. Im sorry u were rape please go to therapy like me its helping. Please pray. I promise God wants u to be smiling happy dt worry God will have justice. And also to feel better, place urself around loveable people and nice ppl. Dont stay in an abusive situation. My mom was so abusive verbally physically mentally financially and more. I left home at 15. In college. One daughter. Im trying to move on and not be around others like that. Email me if u like. God loves u. I love u. God bless u. All hugs kisses have a lovely life. Xoxoxo

By anonymous at 16,Apr,12 23:14

Killed your mom at birth and raped at 9. Well you had 8 relatively good years.

By anonymous at 19,May,12 13:21

so thats it? ur gonna die? maybe u should talk to him bout it calmly saying look da i ddnnoo what i did i was a baby and it wasnt my fault but i still love my mum

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