I don't know what to do anymore. Everything I love turns to shit. I've always been that guy..the guy who supports you and lifts you up. If you needed help, Ide be there, ready to go and dully prepared. If you need anything. I'm your man.
But... Sadly.. no one I've ever helped has ever been there for me, and when I can't face everything on my own anymore, instead of anyone lifting a finger, I get judged, crucified, beat down, and left behind. Finally, I burst.
I've been in a relationship for 5 years, and it has taken its toll on me immensely. Sacrifices, compromises, and I've been there for her at every turn, even when I had nothing left. She was depressed, and wouldn't find a job to help pay the bills. I sucked it up and worked harder to compensate. It's been a struggle for years. It almost seems like when anyone I know is having a problem, I'm there with open arms. But when I'm down, or I do something wrong, instead of anyone saying " Gee I wonder if he is ok. He's not himself. Are you alright? Do you need any help?" Instead, it sounds more like "
Well you're being an asshole, and you better shape up and handle your problems if you're going to worthy of my time." I hate my life, and want to die. I'm so sick of being kind, and just getting screwed in the end. Of all the things I've learned, 3 run true.
Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being real gets you hated.
Do you have kids with your 'girlfriend'? If not, then rejoice. You can be free...you can learn and move on.
Everything about your personality can be fixed with a different mindset. What do you want in life? That is THE question....if you don't know what you want, you are likely not to get it. STOP worrying about the needs of others....instead ask yourself, what do each of these relationships do for me. What do I get out of this relationship? I'm not suggesting you become a selfish bastard, but relationships should benefit all parties. The only one truly looking out for you...is you. People place all kinds of expectations on you. So do not hesitate to place expectations on them. Set personal boundaries and enforce them. If you act like a doormat, people will treat you like one.
At the same time, people truly will take everything you've got if you let them, most of them have no inkling of an understanding of a healthy mutually supportive relationship, etc. The only thing you can do is have some serious boundaries. Whatever you go into, know that you can't really expect positive reciprocation from the other person. If you do something nice, do it because that's what you're going to do, not because you think the person will have some common sense and return it in kind some day. And if the person is asking a little too much, or getting a little too comfortable taking from you, or if you just don't feel like being nice to them that day because you need some recharge for yourself, say no. And defend that no with all you've got.
In this unfortunate state that we currently live, with our completely disintegrated communities, all you can do is you. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice. After all we're all in the same sucky situation.