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No job, no money, no friends, no future, want to commit suicide everyday

Posted by anonymous at March 26, 2011
Tags: Health  Job  2011 March  Unemployment

Life hade been good with me. I thought my future would be bright when I got scholarship to study in Japan. I just felt depressed when writing my master thesis. The doctor dianogized me that I got szycophrenia. I had been hospitalized and dropped out of gradate school. I thought I had lost all my friends who used to have fun with me. Actually, I recovered when I came back to my country and I got my dream job in international development at Room to Read. I love the job so much and I made a lot of friends. Just one day, it changed my life foreover, on that day, I had a small arguement with my supervisor. I suddenly thought of leaving my job. I thought I could work from home such as painting, singing or acting at Hollywood. I even thuoght that I was God. I even wanted to become a nobel prize winner in medicine or peace as I thought I could cure people with mental disease. My parents and relatives started thinking that I was crazy again, so they sent me to hospitals in Vietnam for one week. When I came back from Vietam, I got fired. At first, I felt ok because I thought I could find job at UNDP. But thing doesn't come that way, I have sent my resume to several places, but I got only one or two interview, and I don't get a job for almost 2 years. I now start thinking I am unemployed for the rest of my life. I feel ashamed to meet even my closed friends as I am over-weight, unemployed, and depressed. In deed, I cry to myself. Why my life becomes like this. I used to be a fun loving person, but now everything changes. My friends never invite me to their weddeings. Yes, that's also good for me because I don't want to meet people and I am broke. I even envy my friends whose life are so happy. Why my life is in the rut?


New Comment

By anonymous at 04,Apr,11 04:34

A master with that grammar? Obvious troll post

By anonymous at 04,Apr,11 17:27

I feel you pain !!!
I don't know what I can said to you !
My life is a coma I want is die or live but I don t want stay a bed for the rest of my life call " world "

By anonymous at 30,Sep,11 17:49

I think everyone on this site must feel there life sucks too or they wouldn't be here so why be rude and disgusting. I feel depressed and lost too I have been reading the bible and looking at different christian shows on tv I also have begun to talk to a psychologist. Faith in the Lord will get you thru I am depending on the Lord that's the only friend we need. I think most people put their worth in their jobs or their looks but our faith and the way we conduct ourselves (in a Godly manner) is whats important. If we Pray for peace wisdom and understanding from the Lord I believe we will find the serenity that we all long for in life. Maybe finding a good church to attend would be helpful.
By anonymous at 01,May,18 12:08

why? So if they do not you and your pals can harass them into subservient behavior? There are more important things than religion.

By at 04,Nov,11 13:56

I feel the same too. I hope you are alive to read this. I lost my job about 8 months ago. I just hope you do well because I'm in a similar situation to. No job, no friends, I can't meet a girl due to being broke. I'm just waiting for someone to call me for an interview.

By at 29,May,12 14:42

I know exactly what you are going through. I feel the same way at times. I did everything i was supposed to do in life. but suddenly it is all falling apart. Every day is a struggle, i try to pick myself some times i succeed, sometimes i don't. Don't beat yourself down. You have the power to turn everything around. and one more thing the past is the past. start fresh and face the reality. plus pride comes before fall so build on your confidence but don't confuse it with pride.

Hope this helps. Cheers

By anonymous at 04,Jun,12 02:59

I am in similar situation.Lost my job about 3 months ago still struggling to find new one.Now i am thinking to commit suicide.

By anonymous at 06,Dec,12 15:56

I lost my job back in early 2009 and from that point on went down crashing. been on many interviews across the southwest. I have no gf cuz i have no money. I'm 30 yrs old n live with my mother. I have nothing to show for it. I went to school as well and got certified in CNC operating. No one hires without experience/ but how does one get that experience...huh!!! So i think about suicide everyday. i think about taking my car and crashing it into oncoming traffic, standing on a railroad n waiting for the train, hanging myself in the local park with a note......and many others. Life is hard and in school they never said it wuld be easy but they also never said it be like shit.
By anonymous at 07,Dec,12 03:29

By anonymous at 07,Dec,12 03:30 Fold Up


By anonymous at 07,Dec,12 03:30


By anonymous at 08,Feb,13 18:02

I feel your pain..lostjob 6 months ago, have sent out 1000 resume's,got all of 4 responses, 2 were fake interviews, 2 went to 20-somethings with far less education and experience.. then I just gave up. I am simply too weary. I am tired of the "fight". Honestly, all I am doing now is waiting for the right moment to "Check Out". I have told my parents, and told them I will hold on as long as I can, but that point has come and gone. Now I am just waiting for the opportunity

By anonymous at 10,Feb,13 22:10

hi peop i feel the same to but ive stopped . i wake up every morning step out side take a deep breath and know im alive who cares what people have are they really content or scared of loosing what they have live every day as its the last you aint what you own ,you are who you want to be so make it count fight back at lifes downs and dont give in say I DONT CARE i live how i want to not by your standard but by my own, why try to please people to fit in waste of time constantrate on your self have MY TIME excuse my spelling im thick and i dont CARE fight back peop,you want it differnt make it different and when it feels down think f__k it tommorows another day im sat here no future money age forty four and even though its hard and seems trivual i think well i made forty four years another 40 aint going to hurt stop caring peop its slowin you down live as you want life is free

By Jason A.C-E at 19,Feb,13 04:47

Ready to Die
Internally cry
Externally expression void
Mentally paranoid death will never come
Loath the sun
Cause it means it’s not done
Await the return of his Son
Not sure which will come first
Awaiting both since birth
The girth of the hearse isn’t wide enough for this hurt
World lets me down
In sorrow I drown
Daily I frown
Never to wear a crown
life is white death is black, both I lack so I have brown
A miserable existence
Mind so distant, because of an Earthly resistance
A built up tolerance of pain
Smoke on the brain
Emotions down the drain
Heart permanently stained
Considering staying
Tired of paying
Continuously praying
But life is a strain
So ready to break the chains
That bind to this plane

God something’s got to change
By anonymous at 08,May,13 08:17

I love your descriptive poem of the misery of this existence. You have captured the day to day struggle of most people. I have lived with constant poverty and fear of going under. I never have any money. If I get some money, some huge expense gobbles it all up. I see the rich all around me, taking vacations, living in million dollar homes, driving expensive cars. But my life has been nothing but fear and misery, mostly because of poverty.

By anonymous at 04,May,13 08:29


By anonymous at 04,May,13 08:33

I have very dark skin!
I have no brothers and no sisters
and also no friends
i wanna cant do it!
Im 19 yrs old..other friends are going party with their girlfriends
bt i havnt! Im forever alone!
(dont care about english im not a prffnl in english)

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By anonymous at 12,Apr,17 14:34

4-12-2017 Wednesday.kongmanisinh saycocie.i am from laos. I lived in the united-states since 1981. I be 50 years old in july 4-2017 this year.i lived in Milwaukee,wisconsin.male.never been children. I didn't have a job 7 money,no car,no job.i stay with my family they are a wonderful people.they love me and support me.i know that that I AM A LUCKY PERSON.i didn't mean to depend on them.i am thankful that they looking out after me.i had nothing to be complaining all about it. I used to job,car and, no job,no car,no money,my life going down hill.i wish I could have my life back back.that would nice.but I only just wishing that is hard when you don't had anything for your ownself.without my family looking out after me,i don't know where my life would. I thank them and appreciate them for everything.if my life do really coming true.that I had my life back,to live a second chance in life.had job,car,money.that would be an long I am still living.i try to enjoy life with a family and made the best of it while I can. I love my family.i wish someone out there could understanding inside my heart.i know that I am not the only one had a problem in life.i know that we all struggles in our lifes in this whole wild world. didn't want to live this kinds of life.but I had to forgiving myself.accepting myself just the way I thankful what I had.keep living and see about it,that life could offers to me for a second chance in life,that I got my life everyday life. I am feeling lonely,sad.feeling depress. but I be alright.i had t o be strong in life nomatters what. life is tough and challenging especially when you mess up your life. life is could hurt you, if you don't becareful what you are doing.i see that.
it too late to apologized.what are you living up to.something had to give and work had to be money,no job,who want to be with are you going to live your life.i had to live my destiny in painful. feeling like to cry,feeling ashame. wish I could live a normal life like somebody this life time that all I got.wishing in the next life time,that I could live a better life.right now. just had to live day by day,enjoy life with family.

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By anonymous at 02,Mar,21 13:22

Life is challenging. Thing never be the same. I came from with big family we from Laos. My Mom she had 14 children. 6 older sisters, 4 older brothers and 3 younger brothers. I am number 11. Right now. March-2-2021. 3 pass away in Laos, 2 older sisters and 1 older brother.11 still ling in the USA. We came here since January 1981. 40 years agos. My Mom she pass away since september-25-2008, in Houston, Texas. Where she lived with my second young brother family. She had breast cancer. My Dad pass away in June 1981. My Dad name Hong Saycocie. Mom name Damdouane Saycocie. My family are a wonderful loving people. My name is Kongmanisinh Saycocie. Live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I was back here 4-12-2017, about 4 years ago, on this post. I back again. Just want to say. Time pass by it tough and challenging. When you don't had no Job, no Money, no car, no place to live. You felt lonely, hurt and painful. But, i thanksful that i had a wonderful loving older sister and her husband, let me staying with them. I didn't mean to depending on them. I thanksful for their loving kindness hearts to support me. How could i ever thanksful them enough. Yes, they been helping me a alot. These my three times i stayed with them. I felt like i was cring. Because they looking out after me. I hope and wishing one day my life. That i would having a Job, have Money and have a car. A place to live. When you don't having those things. You felt like your life going nowhere. At 53, not young like used to be. I thought i was 25. But, i am still feeling young. But, anyway. I had to keep living to see what happen. My life used to be happy and enjoy life with family and friends. But, those all gone. Yes, no Money it hard for anyone to live. I get what i got. Ofcourse i be thanksful whatever i had. Yes, i don't know what my life would be like. If, my family don't helping me out. My sister and her hushand, they do their best to helping me out. Yes, i am a very luck person, to had a loving sister and her husband. It made me happy and joyful. Will see what my future begin. I be alright. It happen already. I have to keep living and moving forward in life. The past was painsful. Can`t going back in time and relive it. Just the memories. I kown that i was not the only one. What are you living up to. Where do you goung. I only answer to myself. This life time that all i got. Hope the next life time, i could living a better life. If, my life it possible that i could live a normal life again for a second chance in life. Not, the same. But, a better future. Live or die, nobody care. But, i care. I had to forgiving myself. Live for my family and myself. One day, we all pass away. But, it good to doing the right thing in life, then you could enjoy your life, with family, friends and love one. I am still single, no children. Never been married. Nothing much to say. I pray for the best for everyone. I thanksful for the people, who working on these site, to let the people to writting on the commom what they are thinking about. Yes, not everyone to live a normal happy life. I had to think positive in life. I am not special. I am just the same as anyone else. I am suffering just like everyone else. Yes, i care about people. I am just an emotioning person. I know that i mess up my life. It didn't mean i am a bad person. People could learn from a mistake in life. Nobody know how much you are hurting in your life. Only if something when wrong in your life. Then you will know how it felt and like. I don't judging anyone else. We all having a problem in our life. Ofcourse, we all had an issue. But, it good to living the right and doing the right thing in life, it made life living differntly. You be the judge. I see that now. Yes, I see everyone pains that didn't going your way. Sometime we questioning to ourself. What the world coming to an end to my life. I used to be happy , why i am so sadly and hurtful. But, i understand. A test of time. It how you want to making the best of your life. Like the old saying said. " you getting what you are coming" these a real life and real thing. Just have to becareful what you are doing. Not funny, not a joke. Be what you want to be. We live in a free world in a free country in the United States. Yes, my famiky we came to the usa to getting a better life. We be proud to live in the usa. It my fault that i mess up my life. I had respect for these country UNITED STATES AMERICA. Ofcorse it hurt me a lot that i mess up my life. It too late to apologize. But, i still had a heart. I am no difference then anyone else. I am the same person as usually. Know right and wrong. I love my family so much. I wish i could helpping my famiy out. But, inside my heart. I will always helpping my family. Thanks so much to let me post on my writting thoughtful. Appreciate for everything. Much love and respect. Peace.

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