Wow...after reading these I wish I could say I feel better but not really. I've never been molested or abused. I'm a white middle class male born in the U.S. My father is a good man who has worked hard his whole life to give his children the life he didn't have. He worked so hard in college that he turned down dates. Decided at 25 that it was time to get married and to go wife hunting. Married the first woman he asked out. She's a manic depressive who couldn't have kids. She get a surgery 10 years later and can have kids. Having kids after 35 is a bad idea..much higher rates of complications. Lo and behold the first born is a manic-depressive schizophrenic with a learning disability who's prone to violence and is totally dependant. She never was meant to have kids, physically or mentally. She couldn't handle the responsibility and it made her even crazier. The result is that I grew up with a batshit crazy mother who I resent like hell. If she and my brother were to die I would feel only relief. I feel that way about two people who are mentally ill. What does that say about me? I think it says that I'm not a very good person. I don't see the point of life. I used to love it, but ignorance is surely bliss and the more I learn the less I feel. I'm depressed all the time now. I really don't see the point. I think suicide can be rational, I really do. But not for all these teenagers on this site. You guys need to press on. Everyone feels odd at that age. If you entered your late twenties and still feel that way, then perhaps you can consider it again. But, until then, you owe it to yourselves to stick around. Who knows what life might offer you? | |
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