To most I seem happy, crazy and full of life. It's all a lie.
I have ADHD and the attention span of a fucking toddler so school sucks. I hate all the people there. I've gone to school with the same damn kids since elementary school and they're either hella rich or a "loser."
People I used to be cool with in middle school act like they don't even know who I am and I know I shouldn't give a fuck but it pisses me off. I know it's because I'm always high and because I'm so shy I can't speak most of the time but shit it's my senior year and I'm living the same fucking life.
I hate it. I hate myself. I tried to kill myself last year but like everything else in my life I FAILED.
It wasn't always like this. I used to be a good, smart kid with strong morals. I used to hope and dream and actually believe life was worth living.
Then I started actually analazing myself. Realizing how fucking stupid I am, how ugly I am, how dumb I sound when I talk. Fuck life.
I'm so behind in school that I mind as well be in middle school, Im addicted to stealing, I'm high everyday, im so paranoid and insecure that i hide out, and Im fucking my step brother. I can't show emotion well because of my past. And I am constantly living in the past. The past holds me back so much and it's so fucking annoying. | |
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