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will it ever be better cause happiness seems like a lifetime away

Posted by Steven at January 14, 2012
Tags: Drugs  2012 January  Unemployment

im 23 years of age and im starting to pull my life back together. ive spent ten, eleven years doing drugs.ive been on everything but roller skates, junk, white, pills, weed, you name it i did it.anyway im not posting a record of what drugs ive done this is more or less my little note of diary, and it starts off in the middle of my story.
im sober for about two months now and its mainly cause i a had what alcholics would call a moment of clarity,or what normal people would call an epiphany. this epiphany i had made me see all my flaws and i realized that i wasted all my time doing drugs when i couldve took that time to grow the fuck up. by that i mean i have no car no home and my family pretty much disowned my sorry ass and at that my fathers the only person who reluctantly talks to me on occasion and at that the little bit we do talk he always throws my past in my face. my whole thing now is picking up whatevers left of my life and moving on to a better life.

i met my girlfriend around august and so we had our fare share of screwing shit up together. we spent more money on getting high and screwing up, had an abortion and two miscarriage with my girl and shes always been more straight edge then myself. we fucked everything up in a very short amount of time.
her parents disowned her cause shes been with me and all we've been doing is getting our lives in order.

ive been sober since the last miscarriage in october and ive been trying to get job at an envelope factory but theres never any end to the bullshit. i was supposed to start at that job two weeks ago but because theres no openings i wont hear nothing till february anyway life is bullshit and im done..


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