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My birthday

Posted by anonymous at March 28, 2012
Tags: 2012 March  Money

Today Im 23. So I have been really excited for this job that I would actually like, but doesn't even pay well. Went it today for my 2nd interview and of course I was competing against another person, I wasnt picked. Happy birthday to me? I fucking hate LA its fucking hard to find a job its been almost 3 months and after countless interviews, still nothing. Everything here is fucking expensive and isnt as nice as everybody thinks. Fuck this place. Cheapest place to rent is 900 a month for a fucking nasty ass studio? How Am I going to afford that with a 400/month car payment? Ive been diagnosed with my first episode of Major depression disorder. Im the last person who cares about health so I dont take that diagnosis seriously. But maybe I do now. Ive been down ever since I graduated high school. I used to cut, its been awhile now, now im thinking about it. Nothing is going my way. I live with relatives, my parents decide to retire. Im broke, my college is screwing me over, I have this pressure from my parents to make something of myself. I hate seeing happy people.. I want to fucking shoot them in the face. Ive been in this room all day for my birthday, I havent eaten, Im thinking of buying some liquor to celebrate.


Similar Entries:
I often contemplate suicide May 10, 2010
untitled story April 11, 2012
silence May 21, 2012
Happy birthday August 11, 2010
Missing him September 20, 2011

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By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 01:20

happy birthday, sweety. you are young and it will get better. keep trying. just think about where you want to be next year on your next birthday. i always do this every single year and it amazes me how much of a difference a year makes. so realize that all may not be well now but keep focusing on how you want your birthday to be next year and where you want to be in your life. a personal goal if you will and with the power of your mind and all you can make that happen!

i live in a big city too so i know all about how expensive it is. i am glad you are going to college. you do need your degree in this competitive world. and really 3 months not such a long time. keep trying. good luck.

By at 28,Mar,12 07:53

Good day love, Im so happy to be alive! last nite my dreams were of the Queen riding a Unicorn with beautiful butterflys fluttering about!! Then I wake up and get to go to my most excellent job where I make quid upon quid at the brewery. Life is so wonderful. Maybe I might happen upon a midget to kick like the goalie with Arsenal!! No wonder you are so depressed, You should have a life such as mine. You are such a pathetic pussfilled jamrag, if you are on medication, do yourself a favor and stop taking it! Are there double deckers in L A? I hope that you see on rite in front of you. splat... God save the Queen

By Cursed at 28,Mar,12 14:16

Happy Birthday! You are 24? Oh, my, so young. You know what- things will be fine. You have a place to live, you have your health, and you have a degree. So you didn't land that "Job". It's not the end of the world! It seems like it, but you'll bounce back. Why not find work in a city other than L.A.? My best friend and brother in-law live in L.A. and you're right, it's way over-rated. Whatever your "skill" is, I bet you there are other cities that have the same work. Call people you know. Network. Fight. Push forward- against the odds, and give it your best! Take your meds. Don't get lost in the bottle. It will only make you feel worse with a hangover.
Be persistent!!! Be strong!
And we're all here rootin for yah!

By Truth at 28,Mar,12 15:45

Being the intake specialist at the Salvation Army wouldn't have been a good job for you anyway. They only TELL you that you're the "intake specialist", but then they make you dress up like a faggot playing armyman and make you ring a bell for quarters down at walmart.

People put all kinds of weird shit in those buckets. I put some "coins" that were really rubbers in the bucket once, because I figured, hey, homeless people need to fuck too! I saw Stinky Steve the bell ringer take money out of it once when he was a bell ringer. I reported it to the captain of the bell ringers, Major Dick, and he made steve empty his pockets which has like 400 coins in them, and he was like hey Steve, did you gimp the bucket today? Steve was like, fuck no Major Dick, I always walk around with $319 in change in my pocket. It makes people think I have huge balls!

So, they fired Steve, but it was ok, they weren't paying him anything anyway.

My point is, you should drink drink drink ...and be ill tonight!
By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 19:12

Genius... sheer genius my friend...
Honestly who needs oprah or that bald red-neck dr. phill when we have truth helping us out day by day, step by step until the people writing the stories finally give up and decide what the hell let's commit suicide cuz that is the write way to go... the truth way...

By anonymous at 28,Mar,12 20:45

Yeah a drink would do you good mate. Growing up we all were told to dream of happiness and not money. But we dont dream for a living we live for a living. So to anyone one who says money is only paper at the end of the day is either making it or coping with the fact they have none. Its all bullshit now. Its the root of everything we want. Its been a year since I started looking for work and 9 months since my car went straight to hell. I'm feeling what I didn't realize existed. The quiet slow pain of surrender. I'm calling it quits when I barely even started. 19 years old with an average brain and an average build and a few things left in my mind to call sacred. We weren't meant to live like this. Don't ever blame yourself for your shit hand you've been dealt. I know there's hope left. But the hope of the life I onced dreamed is sinking to the bottom of the sea. And slowly buy surley the sea is freezing over.

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