I'm tired of continuously acting like I'm happy for everyone else. I know that I'm, privileged, going to a private school, getting a good education, being surrounded by people who care about me, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. Last year, my mom passed away from ovarian cancer, it was a long, hard struggle and the whole time I felt completely alone. However, no one knows that sometimes I cry myself to sleep, thinking about how she's not there. My sister is in college and is living at home, she needs someone to cosign for a loan but my dad is refusing to, saying that it's more important that he gets out of debt. He doesn't care about my sister, my brother, or me, only about himself. My mom sacrificed everything to make sure we were happy, but all he cares about is his own well-being. I recently just lost my wallet, which had all of my school ids, giftcards, and items that even though on first glance, appear useless and unimportant, they actually mean something to me. I am just feeling empty and hallow. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother's death, making it a year since she passed. I don't know how to handle being this sad, being so depressed that all I want to do is just crawl away and hide and just get away from it all. Sometimes life just sucks, and sometimes I believe it's not worth living. | |
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