LIFE SUCKS : Family

Quit school in 12th grade, got married, divorced and grew out of the usual young and stupid crap everyone does when they're young. Married a good man 19 years ago, and he sacrificed his ass off to help me go back to school to pursue my dream-to teach school. I taught one year, then I was told in February of 2008 that my contract wasn't being renewed. Went on to finish my Master of Education, only to find there are NO teaching jobs because of the economy. Actually, there are no jobs period. Meanwhile, I have a $20,000 student loan I cannot default on or the state will take my teaching certification. I've been unemployed since 2008. My poor husband has worked himself almost to death to pay the bills and keep our house. I recently borrowed $1500 to get a class B CDL, and I have only been given one dispatch and the note is almost due. My son is about to graduate high school and got into college, but I don't think we will find the money to pay for it. I tried to set a good example to my kids by going back to school, but now they think I'm stupid for wasting so much of my time for nothing. My son tells me that my teaching job was just a job, and it wasn't important-but I have mourned that job like it was the loss of a person. I still cry about it. It was my fucking dream. My husband and I have no life. He is gone all the time trying to drive and make money, and I just sit here, listening to my son tell me how stupid and pointless I am, and I don't go anywhere except the grocery store because we never have any money. I don't have friends, can't afford hobbies, and this all probably doesn't seem too bad to everyone else, but I feel as if my life IS pointless, and I'm a waste, no good for anything or anyone, and my dreams in life were taken from me and smashed before my eyes.

for what?

I used to be happy and thought that things were going well. I was married but we got divorced because there was no passion. We have a 10 year old son who is with me 50% of the time. I am about to get my PhD but have no job lined up. I accidently got pregnant with a man I was dating and he is an alcoholic and I have to live with him because I can't support 2 children on my own. He works in construction but it not reliable and doesn't make much money. At the age of 40 I now have a newborn, a 10 year old, I am single, without a job and I just want to graduate. I dont have many friends and I feel lonely much of the time.

how this bloody life is sucking me

i'm a girl with 20yrs. lost my mom at my 7yrs old. since my child hood i stayed in hostels only. And i have 1 younger sister with 18yrs. jst 6 months bk i have known one strange thing about her is she is in love with some one. i told to my dad and we both were inquire about dat guy. finally we know 1 fact is dat the guy is too dangerous and he is damn bad with his attitude. me n my dad said her too leave him and do better on ur studies but she ran away with him 2wks back. now all the people around us are insulting my dad n me. he edict to drink. i dint even compleated my graduation yet. my family members are decided to get marriage me. but i have my goals n my own thougts. i dont wanna get marry and i dont want to hurt my dad also.And am not sure dat comming guy in my life is also good. he may or may not understand me. so finally i have decided to kill my self. because this bloody life is fucking me. i cant bare all these situations and i cant live any more. So guys Please justify me and suggest me. tel me dat What's my decision is correct or not.

When dreams turn to nightmares.

My Dad died at the young age of 50. A massive heart attack, I was 25. He smoked, had high blood pressure, and recently settled down after a somewhat bitter divorce. I never knew exactly why my Mom and Dad divorced, but looking back money or lack thereof probably played a major role. My Father worked hard on a "swing shift" (4PM - 12AM), and spent his weekends mostly at a friends house just up the street. My Mom would work occasionally when money was tight. She worked odd jobs and never really held a skilled position of any kind. Rarely, would my parents show physical affection towards one another in front of me or my siblings. Communication was non-existent between them. We could sometime feel there was something wrong, but as children we never really recognized it as a potential problem. But maybe that to was my imagination.

My parents never left us in need. As children and my younger Sister,Brother and I always received what we asked for. We were never abused, I can't remember us ever being spanked for doing something wrong. And we did do a lot of "kid" stuff that deserved a little discipline according to all the "experts" today.

So, I grew up in a sort of fantasy land where I didn't have to work hard to get what I wanted, I had no reason to expect any kind of retribution for anything considered wrong, and I had a mixed view of what a marriage was suppose to be. I know we were loved, but is there such a thing as being too loved?

As I m...

Life sucks

I have been through a bit. I at first had a good life. And yet when i was 11 i got breast cancer. Not fun. Then my mom caught ADHD. Not fun either. She died. Dear god please say hi to her for me. Anyways i then got married. Had a child. Then 6 miscarries. Then i found some videos on ghe web of my husband an the web. Sounds ok right. Well you see it was not. He was hitting on some othe much hotter laddies. I kicked him out. By now all of my family has died. Other than my child. She completely ignores me. Tried suiside did not work. ADHD came back. And now you are are ip to date in my life

Life sucks

i was happy when i was growing up in my own country i had plenty of friends and loving family even though my parents left me and my grandma raise me. when i came to the U.S. i moved with my mom i was still only a child, 8, the first six months were fine until her husband who she didnt tell me she was married too, started to abuse me physically. My mom had a shopping problems and always went to the gym after her work. i have a twin brother too, his been with me since i was born. the man started to hit us really bad and my mom did nothing about it. i dont even want to write about what happened. i call the cops one day because i was tired of this shit. i got in contact with my dad via email which my mom was hiding. my dad moved us to the state in which he lived but then started to hit us too. my mom moved an hour away from us so she dint help that much. as i moved to my dads state my brother and i became really shy, we can trust anyone. So then school when down hill. Kids started to spread humors and other shit teenagers do. at the end we didnt have any friends for expect 2. My mom is a bitch and is engaged with this other man that also treats us badly. I moved back with my dad but he remarried so her wife is a bitch. My brother and i are separated one lives with my mom and the other with my dad. the lack of friends have made us even more shy other the years and gave us a fear to speak , dont get me wrong i talk when i have too but i dont like communicating with people which gets me no friends so im always stuck in my room doing shit. the story goes on but i dont wanna share it

No friends or family related by blood

My parents were 15 and 17 when I was born. My father denied me and my mother lost interest in me when I was about 2. I was no longer cute and cuddly. My mother and I resided with my maternal grandma. She basically raised me in between working and gambling in casinos and bingo. My father literally lived around the corner from me and I saw him a handful of times. I was often times scared of him and cried when he came around. My paternal grandparents stepped up here and there. My mother and I always had a turbulant relationship. She was abandoned by my grandmother as a child and was jealous that my grandmother helped to raise me. My mother moved away to another state when I was 2 and had another child when I was 5. She would make it known that she didn't not care for me and would often tell me that she was responsible for my younge brother because he had no one (father unknown) and my grandparents were responsible for me. She took me from my grandmother at 6 and moved me to her home in another state. She would call me everything from worthless to a bitch. She'd beat me, ridicule me and make feel worthless. My grandparents would send me money and gifts and she would take them. When I hit pubert she would tell me I stunk and I was ugly. She also allowed men into the home while my step father was away. Id be left home alone with them and they would take me in the bathroom with them. I don't remember what happened in the bathroom (maybe its suppressed) I don't know. When my ste...

I'M EFFING PISSED

Idek where to start!

k well I was molested by a family member multiple times and at a different period in my life raped/molested multiple times by a family friend. I told my mom about the family friend one and she told me it was my fault and got mad at me, I was only 8 and didn't know what to do, so I joined a church that said all my sins would be forgiven, and thought I wouldn't tell my future husband(I grew up in a strict church that doesn't allow sex until marriage, and that's the church I got baptized in when I was 8) cause if I married in the church he'd still be a virgin, and he wouldn't love me(I had the mind of an 8 year old and that's what I thought would happen if I told a guy about what happened) so I kept it to myself, while my dad left, I was passed from house to house, finally my dad(who was physically and emotionally abusive&cps made him take therapy if he didn't want to go to jail) my mom took him back, he was a little better, and they had me move back in. My brothers were in juvy/jail most of the time, stealing, doing hard core drugs, drunk most of the time they all dropped out of school, and my oldest sister whose mentally ill, she used to hurt me when I was little, the only memory I have from about 1st grade was my mom making me walk to school two miles in the snow and I got lost and finally I found the way and I got to school really late and was crying and the Principal got me hot chocolate and gave me a huge hug. Also, when my parents went out...

Fucked up life

I just spent the last two hours in the stairwell of my dorm crying. Not a single person stopped to ask if I was ok. I had alcohol in my system and deadly pills in my hand. If I were a tad bit more drunk I would have taken those pills and not be here right now. 2 months ago I was checked into a psychiatric center for depression. Clearly nothing is helping me. I go to school 2000 miles from my home and have no friends. No one to talk to.

Starting 9 years ago, for 2 years, my oldest brother would molest me, take advantage of me, expose himself to me, watch me while I showered or changed, and force me to do things.

I have been traumatized ever since. Now, everyone loves my brother. They think he's the greatest kid ever. No one knows about our past. And I can't tell anyone. I'm scared of him and the memories haunt me to this day.

My depression has gone on for 4 years now and I can't hold on much longer. Just wanted to make my story heard. Thanks

A life of abuse and rejection.

I've never been a terribly happy person. I had it tough growing up and life has always been hell for me.

I was raised by my abusive alcoholic father: my first memory is being beaten up against a wall by him: being held by my throat and lashed with a belt. The mistreatment went on all through out grade and high school. I ended up in foster care twice, and my sisters ended up in an orphanage when I was in college (which I dropped out of to help them). On top of this my mother left when I was three and my father told me she was dead. Just recently I was messaged on MySpace and was contacted by my stepsister in west Virginia who told me my mother was alive and well.

I went to visit her, as she told me she had something very special planned for us. She proceeded to pull out crack rocks and offer me a smoke. I did it because I was scared and never had the acceptance of my mother, so I didn't want to ostracize Myself. To this day my parents both are worthless and neither one will help me with anything in my life. They are dead to me.

I have degenerative disc disease and outrageous continuous daily pain inu back which is nearly crippling. I can't find any doctor willin to treat me and suffer daily because of it. I started buying pain medicine on the street to take care of my back and now I've ended up hooked. I wake up every morning in a sweat and cold: pain wracking my body and feeling like shit. I just can't get off the pain medicine and it's making m...

Wits end.

I don't even know where to start. Usual, abusive childhood, pregnant at 17, pregnant again at 23, then children's father died in 2005. From there, life has been hell. No friendships, no viable relationships, sitting alone, 37 years old living with my mother. My daughter lives on her own, and is doing better than I am, still trying to raise my son, but without my mothers help, we would be homeless. I cant find a job, no one is hiring, I have even tried fast food! I was a stay at home mother for years, so I have no work history. High school graduate, but no further education. I attempted college but owe loans, so cant get back in until I can pay those off. My only friendship was a texting friend from Norway, and now he has stopped communication after 3 years... what did I do? It's so sad, to actually come to terms that I have no one to talk to. My own mother is going through a divorce after 17 years, so she has her own problems. I don't want to scare my son, so I cant talk to him, and my daughter.. she has her own life, not concerned with mine, I rarely hear from her. Sad part is, I have contemplated suicide so many times, but after my children's father passing away, I just cant do that to my kids. But what use am I to them, like this? I cry and cry, scream at the walls, sit in my room feeling sorry for myself, every time an application for employment is turned down, I just get even more depressed. I have no vehicle so even finding work is a task in its self, but I keep trying! It just seems like a futile effort. I'm lonely, hurt, and scared... is this all that's left to my life? To live it out alone, and die single, with no one to love, to share with? This life is a joke, my life, is a joke.

The Agony Effect

Where do i start?,I was born in a family were it left a huge scar,my father is a raging alcoholic,and my mother is a psycho whore,the only person that i could turn to is my older brother,my brother was abused badly by our mother,I remember when i used to be eight,my brother was thirteen at the time,my mother took him to her bedroom and locked the door,i was sitting on the couch watching cartoons,then after they got out of the room,my brother had some bruises and his clothes looked tored,i was terrified when i saw him,and i also had a half brother is a lazy asshole who doesnt want to work,a couple of years ago my dad brung him over to our house to stay until hes back on his feet again,he was homeless,it was a living hell,all he did is sit on his fat ass,eat and watch tv,and one day i belived he hurt our jack russell,but nobody gave a fuck,then one day he finaly found a homeless shelter to stay in,it was a relief when he left, and did you know that i've always suffered from a anxiety/personality disoder and depression?,it wrecked most of my teen years,i was so anti-social to where i would run away from people,and i been having some creep who was stalking me for three years,he would follow me and tried to track where i live,i'm to scared to sleep at night because i'm afraid he would try to break in my room while i'm asleep,I'm seventeen now,i've never had anything close to a best friend,i never had a fucking boyfriend!,and i can't drive yet,i've tried alot of times to kill myself but i always failed miserbly,it looks like i'm gonna die alone,fuck this place you call a world,fuck the socaity,fuck my family,fuck me,fuck satan & fuck god!!!.

me or not

my life isnt the oh everyone forgot me completely. more of an emptiness on my part. i am a no body who does infact mean no one to anyone. but they now who i am...well the fake me's. no one i know know a the real me. the me who is quiet and cold. everyone knows me as loner/funny/happy/tired, while infact im lonely, sad, mad, and empty. why i prefer empty is because my feelings have left me (forgot who i was.
my parents are divorsed. my dad is a drunk and my mom is in a mental hospital curing(not really) her eating dissorder. they dont really like me because a) i am the middle child of 10, b) never there to surrport them and c)apperently not help full. my family thinks im a loser hobo and my life will go nowhere. and sometimes the bully me or dont even notice im there in the room when they talk bad about me.
my social skills are shit, my friends will die of drugs, im not pretty ( or so i think) my family lets me down all the time and now im writing this on a site crying hoping my life wont be as meaningless to the reader. and my situation isnt as ad as other people but i just needed to tell someone who might care more then anyone :I

displaced steel worker and husband 52yrs of suck

Where to begin?
my dad used to be a member and custodian of a church, you know, keeping it clean?
I used to help him, i was 12 or maybe 14 at the time.
He used to regale me with stories of his conquest of women, i was impressed because he was getting all the girls and having sex with them. Incidentally, they were around the same age as i was and he was around 40 years old.
One day he up and tells me about the great times sexually, he was having with a girl i was sweet on and was trying in my fumbling way to have a relationship with.
He knew i was sweet on her, maybe he was trying to motivate me?
Doesn't matter, i couldn't look at her anymore after that.

During this time i was being mercilessly bullied at school, it seemed no one was willing or able to help me.
My solution was to play hooky (skip school) until i was old enough to quit.
which is exactly what i did.
A couple of years, lots of hard drugs later, I realized i was getting nowhere fast and decided to go home to the parents and try to get myself together.
I was 18 at that time.
Only to discover that my dad had been having sex with my younger sister since she was about 5 or 7. My mother divorced him at this rate and i stayed on with her for a couple years. The drug habits were hard to give up, so naturally i feel on my face again.

I decided that it was a cold ,hard world and i better get tough if i wanted to survive,,so i studied tang so do and everythi...

CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

where do I start? I live in alabama and live on a chicken farm. I work for my papa who owns it and he only gives me $60 a month to live on and it sucks. my wife left me for the local pig farmer and i am broken hearted. shoveling chicken shit all day and then smelling like it sucks. I lost three teeth this year so far and look like a hick. My 3 kids are embaressed for me to even pick them up from school. I want to go down and buy like 4 cases of natty lite and drink it then walk in front of a train. I cant take this crap anymore

My crap life

I've always been one to keep strong and just hold things in, but I finally feel like I'm going to burst.
Since I was a child my family has been moving back and forth across the country, and this has not only affected my social life with friends but also my family life. I never got to spend much time with my father because of all this moving around and frankly I'm glad of it. He will never see me as his daughter, all I am to him is some crazy girl who needs Jesus. Yeah, my dad is a religion freak. My mom had always been the one person who I felt would always love me and I could never disappoint, but last year when we found out that I wouldn't be able to attend college because of my undocumented status (I was born in Mexico) she kicked me out and left me on the streets. I was never a problematic daughter; I studied hard on the weekdays and worked at a restaurant on my weekends. If it weren't for my older brother in California I would have ended up begging for a meal at a soup kitchen.
So now I'm living with my brother, trying to finish high school an not knowing what kind of future I'm going to have. And while I'm extremely grateful to my brother and his wife's family for taking me in, I'm tired of his mother in law treating me like a maid. I cook and clean but have no rights of my own like getting to go out with friends. She thinks I'm scum and don't deserve any better treatment. I know I sound like I'm a whiny kid but I'm only 16 and this is no way for a girl my age to live. I've never done any wrong to anyone so I don't see why I have to live this way..

Dreaming for a better Tomorrow but still here.

How can I start?

Life has me up and down all the time. I'm 20 years old and i'm in college. I'm currently studying to be an elementary teacher. I'm also married to my high school sweetheart. We have been together for 3 years now. We also have a puppy. Well technically my life doesn't suck from there, but I still have more to say. Me and my love both study online, he has a job with his dad making 12/hr, I'm jobless. I just got fired from my old job I was making 9/hr. I hate Disney. I have 10 more years from college and each month keeps getting harder for me. My hubby gots only 2 more years then he is done. After that were suppose to move out of state. In looking for his dream job. I'm puertorican and his irish, the irony, lol. I play video games 24/7, plus studying. He does alot. My life sucks in the point that COLLEGE IS TOO DAMN FAR, FOR ME ACHIEVING MY DREAM JOB. Ten years is alot. I'm doing a doctor. My In laws moving in with us, and omg. How i wish they fix up their life already. Their story is that the dad has this psycho ex girlfriend, the mom had this cheating ex husband. They sort of hate each other. He's trying to get rid of the psycho but he had a kid with her so he's trying to fight for custody, but he's taking forever to do it. Mother in law, is working her but off for the in law dad. But he's the typical workalcoholic. He makes 2,000 bi/weekly. He has his own bussiness. All i know there is too much drama...... long story short.. right?

i caught my dad looking at porn a few years ago and confronted him about it, he promised me his son that he would never do anything like that again, when i caught him again a few months ago i looked closer at his computer and found he was seeing prostitutes regularily, i am single handedly responsible for telling my mum and sister who then told my brother, im 19 and the youngest in my family, i tore my family apart and havent spoken to my father since. life has become unbearable as i was in the process of my biggest job interview when all this happened, i didnt get the job and now struggle 40 hours a week to feed myself and pay as much as i can to my mum who is studying. as i write this im trying to devise a way to kill myself without pushing my mum over hte edge because i love her too much. life really is a bitch

I have a great life but i absolutely hate it!

I have 2 beautiful children a loving husband a wonderful friend.
But I doubled my weight in 3 years, cant look in the mirror. I ache everywhere. I suffered post natal depression since my daughter was born, on medication now.
We suffer with our finances. no government help as my husband works, but our debt is more than our house worth and cant keep up with it. I worked as a nanny which i cant do with both of my kids anymore. that puts even more strain on us. childcare is so expensive i cant afford it.
Every day i have to ensure my children behave perfectly if i ever want another job in my life.I am doing a degree as a distance learner and university is rubbish.They are useless. i cant see eve if i graduate to get a better job ever.
I cant see us keeping our house, our life's work and if we loose it we'll never have our own again.
I hate my children. they have slept so well until about 2 weeks ago. now both of them are up all night. all day i clean, tidy, do everything in the house, must concentrate on eating better to loose the weight (so i might not ache that much at every step), look after the children, keep in touch with our families who live so far away, do university with no prospect in life and keep on top of our finances. it all just gets me so down i cant stand it anymore! I just want to run and never return! I blame my daughter for everything! and we both so wanted her. its her fault that i have lost every prospect in life, i dont sleep, i hurt all the time everywhere, i only see my husband as a passing ship, finances are so bad and all my problems just because of her.
I havent slept for a week now and just so want to end it all. I know my life isnt as bad as so many others but i cant get prospective on it however much i try. regardless of every thing logical i still cant stand it. i just want this all to end as there is no end to site, apart from the obvious. but i am too much of a coward to do that. just fed up!!!!

Wolf in sheep clothing

My stepmother I didn't hate at first. I'm not one to hate, even. My own mother is too busy to spend time with me, so from elementary till highschool I've lived with my father and stepmom. They're both psychotic! They've both physically abused me, and not these little slaps you get but bruises and cuts. She's bullied me from elem till now, and the only way I've gotten through were my friends. I had to stop telling them the truth about my family after they said they would call the cops to get my dad and her arrested, because it really was bad. I'm not strong enough to just ignore them and everything jer amd her stupid sisters say (my stepaunts) hurt me, I'm bullied but why!!! , and I literally have no social life because she monitors everything, don't you have your own life! I was banned from school by my father once after I refused to listen to them any longer, and go to my mom! I should be able to.live with her damnit! mom divorced him and I know it was because he's batshit crazy, but I can't trouble her with this because she's already working so hard! He's got some sort of thing where he believes he owns my life, and here at 18 im struggling to escape. He says he'll hunt me down if I try to leave, and my crazy stepmom agrees with him! I hope to leave soon, im always locked in my room like a prisoner. My stepmom has been saying too lately that I'm a nuisence and won't amount to anything. I'm too afraid to date because my father and stepmom will drive him away with their monitoring and spying! I don't know what to do.