| | Posted by losing it at March 12, 2012 |
I was on top of the world; my wife and I had good jobs, I just got a mortgage and my apprenticeship was finally complete. Then I get laid off (no kidding, less than a month after I sign the paperwork for the house. My bosses knew, they just didn't tell me it was a bad idea.) That was 2 years ago. Now I am divorced, my house is in forcloser and my utilities are being shut off one by one. my unemployment ran out a couple months ago, and i've been running on fumes ever since. my ex wife's credit was bad when we bought the house, so its in my name alone, so I am the one responsible for it when it hits the credit report. I haven't eaten in over a week and haven't drank anything or showered in days since the water was shut off. I've looked for work for 2 straight years, but have given up since my car broke. it needs both insurance and an inspection to make it legal, anyway. I am seriously considering just going to "bed" (its really just an old broken couch. my ex took the $6000 bed and most of the furniture when she moved out.) and laying there until I die of thirst.
Oh, yeah. I've been trying to tap into my old job's annuity for the past six weeks in order to survive, and my old union rep has just been giving me the run around. Apparently I don't qualify for a "hardship" withdraw. The last 6 times I've called him he just sent me to voice mail. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 12, 2012 |
Seconds tick by. My alarm clock slowly flashes a new minute, then a new hour. Everyone and their mother is sleeping and here i am, awake again. Its been three days since my last inbound call, and I'll be damned if it wasnt a butt dial. The one friend i did have is fixing his life and sorting it out.. without me this time. The pack of cigarettes i smoked today made me feel better for a wbile... but now i'm broke as a joke so no more pot or cigarettes to keep me from myself. This is the sixth day of near sleeplessness... and the third that i stifle sobs so as to not wake the family.
Every day i look for a job, i try to meet new people, or reconnect with old ones... being a high school and college dropout doesnt help my case any. I lost most of my friends aftwr my first suicide attempt... the shelf i hung from gave way to my weight, so they thought i was craving attention... my family doesnt know. 19 years into this adventure called life.. 6 phone contacts, my v card, and i havent yet broken a bone. The saddest part to me is that as a reasonably bright 19 yo i cant figure out why i am the messed up one.
My ADHD on top of other things is a daily impediment. I try to communicate but my mind is too fast for my mouth and i get jumbled up... this makes it especially difficult to reach out to loved ones and friend.. in fact this is the first anyone knows about me being less than content... i guess i can pride myself that far.
Every waking moment for two years of my life has been for drugs or another person... but drugs lost their fun and newness and people slowly dissolved away.. which brings us to now.
I am G.R. Wilson, 19, jobless, directionless, and looking up self help forums on Google.
Who are you? |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 10, 2012 |
I am 23 years old.. I live with my parents.. i have no job..! someone would say that im a pretty normal girl.. that my life isnt that bad... But for me it is..!
I have never had a relationship...am still a virgin.! I think that am afraid to get too closed to a man..because if I do he'll hurt me. I dont trust men. Every man is a cheater.. Its in their nature.. I 've seen it so many times. When I was younger I believed that I would find a handsome nice guy that would be truly madly and deeply in love with me..just like in the movies. But that only happens in movies. In real life there is only pain and disappointment. I would like to feel what to means to be in love..but i dont think i ever will..i dont believe in love.! There is no hope for love..
I have no job at the moment.. My parents support me. If..and when i find something I am sure that it will be a low salary job..that will only pay the bills..!
I dont have a social life.. I couldnt it afford it.. Plus..I think that im really a boring person with no personality.. I hate myself for that.. I know that! But I dont think I can make anything to change it.
I am 23 years old. I think mu life goes from bad to worse.. I have no hope for my future. I will end up a spinster..all alone in the world. I know that i could appreciate some things in my life.. i am healthy..i have parents who love me..! But thats not enough.. I am not happy.. and I think that I will stay that way for ever.. I have no hope.. I WANT ... |
| | Posted by Losing Hope at March 8, 2012 |
I moved to Florida 2 1/2 yrs ago. I have lost 2 jobs. I'm unemployed, unemployment denied me, I cant find a job. I have no money. I have no Car. I'm stuck living with my ex and all we do is fight. I have bipolar disorder and my ex makes it worse. She's always on my case about it. I cant afford medication. I'm slipping further and further into depression. I do think about suicide a lot but I worry about my family that lives 3000 miles away. I have no friends or family down here. I feel stuck. No way to make money. I'm starting to understand why people commit crimes. They have no way to live. I've been fortunate with the economy so far but I dont feel that luck anymore. Guess it ran out. I'm screwed. Might as well go live in the woods. I'm sure my ex will ask me to leave soon. |
| | Posted by Jobless in Cali at March 6, 2012 |
Yep, I got a college degree. Nope, I have not had a job in three years. Can't date or do anything. I see everyone else working and moving forward, but not me. |
| | Posted by Nancy at March 5, 2012 |
I dont have a job,If i get a job that will be not be stable every time i have to move from one state to another state with my laugage.And i dont have any friends to share my feelings and even a girl friend and monthly expensives are becoming higher and higher unable to tolerate to pay basic needs also like shelter,phonebill etc.i dont have a licence to drive a car i applied driving licence in nj but i am unable to reach nj because the flight cost is more i cannot buy a ticket its too expensive for me.i am unable to eat a full meals in a day atleast once also.In my room 4 members are with me included 3 guys will go for the job and i am sitting in a room alone from 1 1/2 month feeling like torture unable to go outside,if i want to go outside means to eat any thing its too expensive to buy anything...What should i do this is happening from past 1 year...!unable to feed myself if i got married means how should i live with these life...LIFE SUCKS. |
| | Posted by a lost girl at March 5, 2012 |
I hate my life. Nothing seems to be going right. I am beyond stress and depressed but I don't let people see it. Its hard and I don't know what to do at times. Im a broke college student. I have a job but I cant work more than 12 hrs a week at $7.61 an hour. I have a car note every month I can barely afford along with gas, food, etc. I don't know what to do anymore. I cant find a job, no one wants to hire me and I feel like a failure. My parents dont have money to help em out so im hopeless and at times I wish the world would just end because Im tired of stressing, worrying, and crying. No one understand how I feel, it seems like im doing great but only God know how unhappy I am deep down inside.
Sincerely,
A lost girl |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 2, 2012 |
I currently live in New York City and due to the shit economy can't find a job anywhere. My best friend stopped talking to me and gave me a ridiculous excuse as to why. My girlfriend and I broke up because she wants to sleep with someone else (we live in different states by the way). I can't attend college because I'm not eligible for financial aid and have no other means to pay for classes.
To top this all off my mother, who I live with, wishes to leave the city and move to Florida by the end of June. She doesn't want to leave me knowing I'm unable to fend for myself. Also my aunt has fallen ill and needs serious surgery which she will be undergoing Tuesday.
All I want is to attend college and eventually become a teacher. With the way things are going I'm thinking of leaving home and drifting with all my options running down. |
| | Posted by John at February 27, 2012 |
I am 25, will be 26 in may...
As a high school student i was smart, A+ student...
went to university and thats where it all went down hill... started off as a med student... by my second semester i hated it, switched faculties... then i started missing classes for no reason, figured i cud still pass my exams, but i didnt... spent 4 years at university and still didnt have my degree and was asked to withdraw for a year, but i met a girl while "studying" and we got married... spent a year doin odd jobs then she divorced me, till i got a fairly good paying job at the power company... now two years down the road... i was told that in April my 3 year contract will be terminated.
With no other job prospects in sight, i have rent to pay, school loans to pay for a degree i never got, and a girlfriend that is cheating on me...
where do i go? who do i turn to for help?
Cant turn to God, because i really dont believe in that...
My thoughts right now are centered on suicide, just ending it all...
since finding out i will be unemployed come May, and nothing but a high school diploma no job will pay enough to cover all my expenses...
I've made mistakes in my life, alot of mistakes... so many regrets...
Just wish i could go back and undo them... probably shouldnt have quit medicine, or skipped classes, or partied as much as i did...
i'm gonna be 26 soon, and all my friends are employed, and moving forward... but here i am stuck and no idea what i'm gonna do...
easiest thing to do... hang myself... not like anyone wud really miss me... i've no family... a girlfriend that wont leave me cuz she feels guilty but she really wants too... got a couple friends... but then they dont really answer my calls or return them...
Just here all alone, in this dark hole...
should probably just go hang myself... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 22, 2012 |
well about a year ago i was completely blinded sided and fired from my job of a year after something happened that i was completely unaware of. ever since then my life has been slowly falling further and further in the shitter. After i was fired i was denied unemployment and was not allowed to get my job back even thought my employer admitted that i had been wronged. aout 3 months after that i was awoken by a phone call for a job interview. i was extremely excited and left soon after to get a haircut. while on my way to get my haircut the job called me back and said the position had been cut. fast forward a month later and i got a call from my back saying that my account had been frozen and the 3000 dollars i had in there would be frozen bc of a credit card that i let my parents get in my name when i was 18 that i didnt even use. they never paid the bill and the company garnished my bank account to pay the bill with a extra 2000 on top of it. i finally had a bright spot a couple months after when i had to promising interviews. the first company made me come for interviews on 2 different occasions with 6 different interviewers and they both went great. after not hearing from the company a week after my final interview i called and they told me they wanted to hire me but due to the budget they had to cancel the position. I had another interview a week after that with the same result of no response. this sent me into the deepest depression i or anyone i know had ever seen. I... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 22, 2012 |
well im 27 and havent had a life anyone would like living when i was a kid my mother tried to have my father killed. i watched him get shot and a few months after he left town and i didnt see him again for 20 years went through high school with a chip on my shoulder and somehow made it out with good grades at 21 had my first daugher then another 2 yrs later both with the same woman while the whole time helping her fight a heroin addiction seeing and doing things i dont wish on anyone to help her. all while going through technical school for 3 yrs and holding full time job and school. finally she left me and tried to take my beautiful girls away from me. i lost my job with a ford dealer was hit head on at 45 mph totaled my truck had to use my classic car to get around and save our relationship and failed. blew the engine in my dream car and had to sell it. lost my house. i spent 6 months fighting in court for custody before she finally settled out of court on my terms. we now have a fair relationship separated. it has taken me the last 3 years to get my head above water and still when i do something comes along and tries drowning me again. i have only been able to get 3 jobs in the last 3 years and they have only lasted for 2-6 months every car i get to try and get around to find a job breaks down and winds up costing more then its worth to fix. now my ex has my kids because i cant afford to take care of them anymore and the state wants me to pay child support when i can... |
| | Posted by LostBelowLife at February 21, 2012 |
Here is my story, im 23 i have no license no car no money no collage education, hell my diploma isn't even credited. And here's why when i was young 12, i fell into depression this never lifted but never stopped me, when i was 15 i was smoking pot and got in trouble my license was suspended, after that my parents decided i shouldn't have one...ever.. things changed i lived in a bad area, i stopped doing bad things, i worked off and on doing masonry work from the time i was 13 starting at 5.00$ an hour all the way up till i was 19, my father was well very well known for his work, i thought i was going to be doing this kind of work expected him to teach me, when i was 18 he got "A calling from god" he always promised 2 teach me everything and never taught me even how 2 lay a base. he decided 2 go to collage at 57, Seminary collage to be a priest or a pasture or in his words maby nothing just wanted his super expensive degree needless to say they didn't send me 2 collage cause he went and IS STILL IN collage.. i got caught with a beer memorial day weekend when i was 18 license got suspended again possession of alcohol (this charge kept me from getting hired 2 hours ago during an interview as a cashier at walmart).. i wanted 2 go 2 collage but since i lived at home and my background wasn't "applicable" for a student lone or financial aid of any kind due 2 my family possessions and assets, when i was 19 my gf Last one i had, got pregnant right as i was spiting up with h... |
| | Posted by fed up at February 19, 2012 |
It's amazing how you work your ass off and find yourself getting nowhere. I'm from South Africa. I went to the best university in South Africa and got really good qualification. I managed to get a job but I wanted to travel so I quit and went to America for a few months. When I went back home, I couldn't find even the most menial of jobs. People who dropped out of school were doing better than I was. Luckily, I had saved up enough money so I went to the UK to work there. I have worked all over the world. My employees really appreciate my work efforts, so it's really strange to me that I can't find a job in my own damn country!
I would really like to go back and stop feeling like something drifting in the wind. I want to start a family and have a normal, stable life. |
| | Posted by What now at February 18, 2012 |
31 married to a terrific man, but definitely feeling I don't deserve him. Got 2nd dui 4 months before we got married, the grandma went into cardiac arrest at our reception, thankfully she is still alive. A week and a half ago I was fired from my job of 12 years, because my husband got a competing job in the same field. Now I have no car, no job, no family or friends in the area. Everyday I wake up without any sense of purpose. No car to get a job, and a stellar record to acquire a new one anyways. Other choices in my past keep haunting me everyday, I might even have gone to get help, but no job equals no health insurance. I see endless nothingness in my future. I pity my husband for being with me. I used to be fun. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 18, 2012 |
Im sure people have it worse then me, but still, I hate my fucking life. I got laid off of 2 jobs, within a month, right before Christmas, and now I can't find a job anywhere, not even fucking MCDONALD'S, I'm not a bad person so wtf, always the same god damn answer. "sorry man no work" really? Cause I just watched u give somebody else a job a second ago. I left highschool and now my friends won't even answer me, I got kicked out of college, not cause of party's, I was in my room studying every fucking day, nope, it's cause of my "grades" r u fucking kidding me? I only failed 1 class and did really good my 1st class, anyways, got 3 speeding tickets cause of fucking speed traps, no job to pay for em though, just got into a fucking accident with my girlfriends best friends mom, cant go there no more and insurance raised but I can't pay for it cause I can't get a job, and what tops it off? My gf is talking to her ex bf of 3 years, so wtf, ur gonna throw my ass aside for a kid who treated u like shit? I have no fuckin job and still try to give you the world and u do that? WTF! So yeah, laid off 2 jobs and can't get unemployment, 3 speeding tickets and an accident, kicked out of college, gf is talking to her ex, and this all happened in what.. 4-5 months maybe? Every god damn day I wake up stuff is getting worse and worse, I can't fucking take it anymore!!! I'm pretty much done, fuck life people, nothing ever fucking works out in the end, I'm so nice to every1 and I'm a nice gold hearted kid and this fucking happens to me? Fuck it, what's the fucking point anymore |
| | Posted by shittylife at February 10, 2012 |
My life seemed picture perfect when i was younger family vacations and good times. But I was naive . When I was 16 my parents divorced because my dad cheated on my mom a couple of times. One time someones husband spray painted on our front door to stop calling this girl he was "friends" with. He would explode with anger for the smallest things and was diagnosed with bi-polar. I remember one time as a child he flipped out because I couldn't do the alphabet right. The year after they got divorced I saw him like twice that year and he lived in a shit hole. My dad and mom began to see other people almost instantly, and me and my brother had the house to ourselves and we got drunk and high everyday. I then moved with my mom who was emotional torn and repeatedly asked me if I still loved her and she was emotion abusive and gave me anxiety. We went from a house with a pool to a small two room condo with no privacy. My brother lived with my dad and eventually was kicked out to fend for himself. During all of high school I suffered from cholinergic Urticaria which is chronic hives from heat and sweat. It's painful and extremely itchy and makes a lot of situations awkward. I couldn't concentrate in class or keep a job because i had to go to the washroom a lot because of the pain. No one in my family understood how debilitating chronic hives is, and would make me feel guilty for not keeping or having a job. I graduated a half year late and studied audio engineering at a private ... |
| | Posted by Dont give a shit at February 6, 2012 |
My family isn't poor. But i am. It has taken me 5 1/2 years to go to college and finally get a bachelors degree. Now that i have graduated I am looking at jobs for significantly less pay than i was making prior to college. It has been over two months of job searching and resume sending with enough no responses to count on a hand, and no responses that i would need 30 hands more. I hate that i cant do something as simple as buy a slice of pizza when all my friends got out. the most money i have made in the last 2 weeks has been returning soda cans. Lots of my friends are given money from their parents which is fucked, and i dont want to be given anything. But at the same time i babysit and run errands for my parents, and they say my pay is living in their home. Do they think i want to live here? More than anything i want to make money in order to get out of this house. I have lived for the last 5+ in my own place, and now at age 23 have had to move back in with my parents. I was told college was suppose to open doors and make be better qualified, however since graduating i have had the longest dry spell of now work that i have ever had in my life. The best part is i applied at a place where a few drug heads who went to my high school, and they will now be my boss.
fuck. |
| | Posted by CS_stars at February 6, 2012 |
I thought it could be cathartic to post here.
I am a 30 year old single female living in Maine, US. I graduated a few years ago with my masters in marine science. I moved up here for a job, and given it's in my field, but I don't feel any joy from it,and it pays extremely poorly (not what a master's should make, but in this economy, that's somewhat moot. I'm on call a month on, a month off for equipment failure, etc and can't go anywhere of note the entire month when on call.
The hard part is just feeling so stuck and having little to show for it. I've applied to hundreds of jobs since getting out of graduate school and am continually turned down again and again and try not to get discouraged and come up with new game plans each time. At the end of my master's program, I had an almost eight year relationship fall apart, slept on my brother's couch for months, trying to find work while accruing tons of debt trying to pay my bills. So I'm at least on the up and up from there. It took about 2 1/2 years to find steady work.
I've tried for graduate school to go back for my PhD, but funding has about dried up and most professors are saturated with students. Other interesting opportunities I may not have enough experience for, or enough resources (mostly money) to get certain certifications to ultimately get any further. I feel like I keep hitting a wall again and again and I can't creep any further forward.
Dating prospects are dismal up h... |
| | Posted by Scarlet at February 3, 2012 |
I am a 31 year old single mother of two. I was raised in a very abusive household and ended up on my own at the age of 16. I myself have stayed out of trouble and learned to keep to myself. I have worked from the age of 15. I graduated High school and continued to work at a dead end job. I became a mother at 21. I tried to make things work with the father for years. Ended up with child again. I am not complaing about my children. I love them to no end. They are my life and mean everything to me. I finally grew some courage and left their abusive father. I never recieved a dime in child support, and although we have been poor, I was always able to make ends meet. I worked full time and provided for my children. I have recieved little to no help from my family members. My mother, if you can call her that, decieved me and took me for a lot of money at income tax time. She got me good on that deal. I gave her my entire refund to save her house and lost mine in the process. I was still okay though. Alone and providing for my children. I became so sick and tired of everyone expecting so much help from me yet never offering any. I pretended to be what everyone else wanted to keep the peace and avoid insults. I lost sight of who I was. I had an chance to relocate for my work. From Ohio to Texas where I could start over and be myself. Raise my children the way I chose not the way everyone else wanted. So I did. My company was bought out and I was let go. Left with no money, no hom... |
| | Posted by Ponos at February 3, 2012 |
I have a university degree (top in my class) and 5 years ago the future looked bright. However, upon entering the job market in South Africa I realised that life was not going to be so great. There just arent any jobs available- for anyone (no matter what qualification). So here I am today...I tried to make it, but I lost my house yesterday as the bank foreclosed on me. My car also got reposessed as ALL my money goes into feeding myself. Allow me to also add that this all happened AFTER I was forced to move to South Africa from Zimbabwe after Robert Mugabe and his cronies took my family's farm and so also our livelyhoods. DESTINATION POVERTY. LIFE SUCKS...A LITTLE TOO MUCH. |
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