I am constantly sad. I am constantly in pain, physically and emotionally. My body is always sore. I have trouble sleeping, yet am constantly tired. I am alone. I have had 2 relationships in my 18 year life. The longest one was a month. Girls never seem to like me. It is because I am not an attractive douche. I am tired of always being the last option to girls. I am always just the friend. I am always too good of a friend to date. This fact just makes me wonder what is wrong with me. I am normal, for the most part. I have confidence issues because of years and years of rejection. That is mainly the only thing that makes me different to most people. I don't even feel like I have a heart anymore. It has been crushed by girlfriends and friends alike. I feel like all that is left is a piece, the size of a dime, and I cannot give that dime to anyone, in fear that I will lose it. Whenever I am capable of sleeping it is usually because I cry myself to sleep. I am so unhappy. I always wonder why it is that my life sucks. While I know people with beautiful girlfriends and tons of friends and are popular. Why can't that be me? I hate having to sit by and watch as some of my best girl friends (who I love) date asshole after asshole after asshole. And then I am always there as a shoulder to cry on. Then, I am told that I am such a sweetheart and such a great guy. Then, they turn around and date another asshole. Why? What is so wrong with me? I know I am not attractive, but looks are not that fucking important. I am just so sick of it. I want to feel loved, wanted, and respected. I want to actually live.