|Posted by whocares at May 20, 2012|
I'm young, dont worry about my real age, you shouldn't care.
Ill start with the divorce. my dad took all the money instead of my mum. so we don't have much.
when I was 9 I was raped by a teenager at the shops. there was lots of people there looking at me when i was screaming and he was carrying me away. They didnt care.
Then whn my mum was working , her boss raped her aswel. I never told anyone about being raped. My mum told us though, but she never told the police, she didnt do anything, just like me... a few other things happened, lots of my family died to cancer, then I finally died on the inside, nothing mattered to me anymore, a few days later my mum died, for real, just like me, except worse.So my fat bitch of a nan takes care of us now. I know she hates me though, she hasn't talked to me in over 2 years. I didn't do anything.
My brother cant take it, so he pretends its all better, you dont know what that feels like.
At school, I pretend everythings alright, I have alot of friends, or what I think friends are, but there not my REAL friends because im never the real me. no one knows the real me... Untill i met HIM. Hes 3 years older than me yet we dont care I think I know what love is now, not "oh i loved that movie" coz you didnt. I know what it really is. we share everything together, he gets me. And now hes the only one that knows the real me. And only yesterday (thats why I'm on hear) He died of drug overdose. Yes we did some pot and ice toge...
|Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012|
Ive just turn 18 and tonight i'm prteey much sat in my bed crying, my life sucks. I am in college and at first i tought things would finally work out for me after i've finished high school but no, i keep crying myself to sleep, i keepfeeling this pain in my chest. I honestly believe that i'm gonna die alone and that scares the shit out of me. I know i can't keep a friendship or anything like that. I spend the most part of my time in home alone. I just wish i could have someone to talk to and to tell me that everything would be ok but instead of that i try my best to cry in silence so my family wont notice that i'm crying in the dark.
I need help, i'm not okay, but no one notices how bad i am so i just wake up every morning and pretend that everything is alright, i fake a smile and keep with my life. I like college because it keeps me busy, so busy that i can't think about my pain. But when friday arrives i stay in my room alone and all i can think is how fucking lonely i am and that is so painful.
I'm tired, so tired, it aint even fair.
I just wish someone could hug me and say that i'm gonna be alright, but no one will ever do it.
|Posted by J R at May 16, 2012|
i am beyond sick of doing nothing every damn day, im about to graduate from high school, im an 18 year old virgin with an addictive personality and im about to lose my license. i depend on my car to get to and from school and work so i feel when i lose it my life is going to grow into an even bigger shit hole then it already is. oh yeah, and did i mention i am addicted to marijuana, quite pathetic right. i know everyone says it is not addictive but i swear it is the only thing in my life i can't go without. like i smoke cigarettes occasionally and sometimes for weeks on end but i also have no problem not smoking them when needed and can go days without a cigarette without a care but when i can't smoke weed i shake, get massive anxiety, and just don't feel right. i drink and do other shit occasionally as-well and never feel the addictive properties i feel with marijuana.. i guess that is just because i have come so accustomed to smoking i can't seem to function without it. not to mention my best friend is a girl that without a doubt wanted my dick when we met but now we have just grown to friends and every time we chill i convince myself to not make a move as it would ruin our friendship, not to mention she fucks around so im pretty sure i don't want anything to do with her anyway it just eats away at me knowing i probably could.. i am the most pathetic person in my eyes and my major flaw is that i just can not accept the possibility of being shut down, i mean this in any ...
|Posted by anonymous at May 16, 2012|
In reference to the title, I would say I more paralysed than confused, bored would be an accurate description when taken in conjunction with being paralysed and as for suicidal, not really, I don't think taking my life would be really that much fun.
I would say I have it better than most. I have great parents, my mom and dad have sacrificed everything to get us where we are and they do love me to death. I haven't worked a day in my life up until I graduated from the university. I have a job that has good prospects but I am starting to sabotage myself into getting fired. Honestly, I don't want to work. I am very lazy, I am tired all day and I am a chronic procrastinator. I never finish anything I start and I delay project and have trouble meeting deadlines. My desk is always piled up with papers because I am disorganized and I make stupid mistakes when presenting projects.
My motto has become "I don't care" although I do get frustrated when I do idiotic mistakes. Don't get me wrong, I'm not stupid. I graduated with honors from my university with minimum study. I would always score higher than the nerds who studied all day, most Finance student suck at math so I would dominate them. My problem isn't brain power. Let me put it this way, I have a big engine with no fuel. Sounds right.
I have reached a point of indifference where I don't care whether I live or die. I don't care if any of my friends died. I wouldn't care if the world was going to exp...
|Posted by anonymous at May 14, 2012|
Here I am sitting in this hot ass car of my girlfriend and thinking that I have no purpose in life. Day by day I wake up to the same thing. Either my stupid job as a security where they put me at a door that never even gets unlocked for 8 hrs n then home to bitching n arguing. If not work then I go to my college classes where I don't feel like I fit in bc everybody looks at me like I have a fuckin problem or like I just dnt belong in the class. My family is all broken up nobody calls anybody or evn checks on eachother. It used to b so perfect, we all would meet at my grandmothers house everyday and just be a family. But now its like everybody tries to stay far away from eachother n act like they don't want anything to do with anybody. Nobody calls me or wants to talk to me even when I call or contact them. My stupid ass friends from high school are doing their own shit but nothing new just the same shit. They were the ones I would turn to when I needed somebody but then they got me into some trouble with the law n landed myself in jail bc I took the wrap for them. He swore like he didn't know what went down n then he told me that he woulr help n pay my fines n I haven't seen a damn penny from that low life skumbag asshole. Now my girlfriend thinks that I need to adjust to how her feelings r n I try but its to the point to where I can't have an issue without her gettn mad or her tryn to control the situation n turn the table on me. The only thing is is that she's my only friend and only person I have in my life. My life sucks balls.
|Posted by Thenotsobeautfulone at May 14, 2012|
I'm reading all these other posts and all of a sudden feel selfish. I hate my life, but I haven't been abuse, my parents are great and I live in a happy environment, but I'm not happy. I'm a15 year old girl, I feel as if I should be happy and carefree, but I'm not. It all started in grade seven when girls started bullying me. They called me worthless and made me feel terrible and completely alone. The worst thing was, these girls bullying me were my "friends". I did what they tell you to do in elementary school, I told my mom and everything got dealt with, but the wounds were too deep, and it still hurts today. After that, my family went bankrupt and we lost pretty much everything. We
Ost our car and my dad lost s job, we almost lost our house too. The next year I worked really hard to make new friends and we eventually overcome the money problems. But this year, it seems things are going down hill again. I play basketball and suck.at least I feel like I do. I played on the high school team this year and my coach was constintly putting me down and making me feel bad. I also didn't make the summer team I tried out for and the camp I tried out for. I see other people around me succeeding and I want to and try so hard, but can't. Another thing is my sister was recently diagnosed with depression. It's really hard. I hate seeing her suffer. Because of her problems, I feel like I can't tell anyone about mine because I don't want to be a bother. I hate it. I started cutting myself too. I'm scared I'll do something more sometime. Like kill myself. I just want to disappear. I'm embarrassed by the lack of amazing things I've done with myself. Why am I so unhappy? I'm so young, I should be happy, why aren't I happy?
|Posted by Breathe at May 13, 2012|
Impacts. From the day you were born too currently. Where do you stand? What have you been through? And does it affect you today? Throughout my life I have experienced rape, over dosing, cutting and many anxiety attacks. Iíve seen abuse, my friend getting shot and my brother getting taken away by the cops. As a child, I lived in hell without even realizing it. I share my story to others around me and they ask why I am the way I am. Iím not miserable nor mean to others because of what I have been through. But thatís because I was raised by my strong headed brother that has been through worse than me. He is a runner that lost his freedom once I was born. My mother was being abused by my father which wasnít safe for me, so my brother was told to raise me. My brother told me stories about when I was a baby, how cute I was and how he promised to always protect me from hell. Only at 15 he dropped out of school to take care of the family and work. Some nights he came home with a black eye and bruised ribs and hugged me and said everything was going to be okay. He was tough and I have grown up tough too. Iíve became a runner once he left. I havenít seen him in four long years and I have no clue where he has gone, but I know he is safe and he will come back. All runners do. Iím now 16 and I have a mind to my own. These memoires and impacts did not bring me down, they only made me stronger. impacts in our lives make us who we are. Be strong enough to make them worth something.
|Posted by shady at May 12, 2012|
To start things off, I'm a Shady (I don't mean Eminem, just Shady. Shady is a name for lonely, shy........person).
Here's a short description of me: I'm 16, good looking guy, good at sports, not a nerd, very smart, good person, shady
My parents think that I have a great life and a lot of friends...but I'm just acting so they don't have to worry about me.
I'm always on my own.
At school, people are making fun of me and calling me freak, fool and I don't even know why !
I never had a girlfriend. I have never been loved. I have never been hugged. Never. I have never been looked in the eye and told from the heart that I matter. Every girl I ever loved hated me for no reason. I just can't stand the fact that I'm single...
Nobody cares about me exept my family. Nobody knows that I'm cold and depressed.
I don't have to go further 'couse I already told you my whole life story, not just based on my description. I hope that all of you shadys out there get a better life. Bye...
Sorry if my English is bad...
|Posted by anonymous at May 11, 2012|
I'm a seventeen girl living in hell. It all started after I was sexually assulted by my guy "best friend" last year on April 1st. My aspects on guys changed. I known him for years and trusted him. The only peron who stpped me from killing myself a year before that because I was so sick of life. I would constantly get picked on in school and get called "spook" which meant ugly and a dicksucking hoe. None of this was true. I messed with nobody in my school because I knew if i did, it would be everywhere. Boys would come my way with the sweet talk to try and get in my panties but i wasnt stupid. when thy didnt get what they want, they would make up false rumors about me. The rumors got so bad that it got to my parents, which made them question was i sexually active. I wasn't. I was still a virgin. I wanted to kill myself because i saw no reason for me to live if i did was get critized, and bullied. Girls would threaten to beat me up through faebook, and in person. I did nothing to anybody. I never got why the school hated me so much. I felt alone. After i was sexually assulted, i lost my mind. i had no one. my guy best friend bragged about how he hit that, which techinally he didnt because it was sodmny... he would tell me how much he hated me and how i had no reason to live. i was believing these words because i had noone. I started to give myself up to the world, including two other boys, which one have me an STD, Chylmia a month ago. I got treated for it but he didnt. he s...
|Posted by anonymous at May 10, 2012|
Hello shitty world! (Im sure thats how we all feel about it) well ive wrote here a couple of times....anywho towmarrow my prom & i cant go because i have no friends nor date..so while everyone else is at prom ill be at home crying my eyes out looking at their prom pictures on facebook..i have no damn job at all..like im completely broke & my mom dosent have any either..we have no soap in our house at all..no washing detergent, body soap, tooth paste,etc..so i guess u can pretty much tell how i smell..just praying for some type of job man ill do ANYTHING! and on top of that we have no car so its really hard for me to put in applications..i mostly put them in online..but so far noone has called...man im hurting..like my soul is literally dieing...luckly my mom got her food stamps last week so we do have a bit of food for now that is..try being so hungry to the point your dam near puking your guts up..(sorry to be distgusting) but it was nothing but water & bile comeing up and i was soo weak..praying diddent help either..but i kno god is here for me..& he's here for you guys too..sucide is something i think about daily but i beleive god protect me from it...i really hope this make it onto the site so people can see how fucked up my life is...
|Posted by anonymous at May 10, 2012|
I am a 16 year old teenager. I live in a family of 7, including me. I have a younger brother, a younger sister, a twin brother, and an older brother. (Plus, my parents.) I hate my life. Let me explain. I'll start with my younger siblings.
My little brother, 6 years old, is a sailor. He always runs his god-damn mouth, and every sentence he says has to have a swear in it. He never listens to me when I tell him to stop doing something or, not to do something. He always has to question everything he's told to do. It's fucking irritating. He also wastes every single food in my house, and leaves trash all over the place. And when his report card comes home, his teacher says he is a very kind a well-mannered child. Oh, the irony.
Then there's my little sister, 9 years old. She isn't that bad. But, it's as if she has to whine about everything. "Oh, Mommy! I REALLY WANT THAT!" and then there's, "BUT DADDY! I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THIS HOMEWORK!" And then if you try to reason with her, she either, yells at you and tells you to shut-up, or, keeps whining even more.
Next, there's my twin brother, he's slightly younger than me (I was born first). You'd think that since we're twins, we'd be cool and all, BUT NOPE! He thinks he's better than me. Actually he thinks he's better than everyone else. He believes I have this addiction to "furry" pornography, BUT I DON'T. He also, seems to have to mention this to everyone, including my friends. And then they ...
|Posted by 18 at May 10, 2012|
So I feel as though I need to vent.
Im 18, about to sit my final exams before uni. When i look back on my childhood i remeber almost nothing. I moved schools twice and carried none of my freinds over (despite only moving across the road in one instance) i feel as thiugh its oartly my fault. I have allways thought of myself as a loner. But im not really. I had se great freinds. They were nice. But immature, and i felt as though i couldnt connect properly.
I regret not making the most of my time.
I had one friend, who i grew to love. He was the coolest nicest guy i had ever met. Everyone seemed to like him. But over time ingrew to hate him. I dont know wether it was jealousy or confusion or what, he seemed to be so happy and perfect. Even when i went over to his house. He was a saint.
It seemed so undfair at the time, it drove me inasne, stil does. I became obsessed with finding a flaw. But i couldnt. I felt as though i had to prove that he wasnt happy.
He must of thought i was weird (quite rightly i guess) he cut me off after i moved schools. This was the days of facebook and msn, so really no excuses. It was a while ago now. I still feel regected though. I never told him how i felt. I never just asked. I never just sat down.
He seems so happy now, i felt like he was the freind that i had allways wanted, but inguess he didnt feel the same way. He had enough attention.
I dont know if i should hate him or love him.
It sounds so pathetic.
|Posted by Kelly at May 10, 2012|
I feel like killing myself every day. I only have one friend and he is the boy I have fell totally and utterly in love with but I can never be with him because he has a girlfriend and I am fat, ugly an have a massive gap between my teeth. I cut myself. I hate doing it. But I do it anyway. I write names people call me into my arms like fat bitch. Dog ugly. Then I get upset because it reminds me of what they say. I have the scars all over my arms and I can't show them anymore. Im only young and I have already been abused by my ex, harassed and bullied. I got strangled when I was 5. And I don't know my dad. I hate how my life has turned out and I have no one. I guess I'm used to it, but sometimes I just want someone to hear me out. But they will probably think I'm crazy. I just want someone to care about me. I care about people but they don't give two shits about me. I hate this world. I'm no use to it. I dont even understand why I am still here.
|Posted by Troll face at May 9, 2012|
My mother is mean to me like my "friend" was doing my hair at my birthday and she wasn't even doing it right and she was hurting me and my mom didn't even care ! She blames everything on me! Then the other day I was like helping my friend cuz she was getting bullied so I took her to the way in ( where councelers are) wich I had enough courage to encourage her to do it ( I'm shy and I like never tell when I'm getting bullied .. Well I told my mom and she didn't do anything ) and so like I told my mom cuz I wanted her to be proud of me so then when she came to the house she started yelling at me to put the groceries away wich she just got and told me that I don't use common. Scence then a while later I came out and asked her if she heard of this movie I was watching ( just trying to have a conversation ) and she was like I don't care but before that her d!ck head roomAte was like if you put your hand on your face I did and he smacked it and hurt my nose ! I told my long distance dad and he said to go to my room so I did . I want him so bad !! I want to live with him but today my so called friend tripped me Infront of everyone and I scrapped my knees it hurt I made it to my house and I put peroxide on my scrapped knees with a band aid cuz it started to bleed and my beldham mother want me to clean btw I'm crying right now like I was yesterday I don't know what to do any more I just want my daddy !!
|Posted by anonymous at May 7, 2012|
I wish I could just start over.... But i can't i am here like you writing about why my life sucks. Its silly isnt it that our lives actually suck... I am depressed. I got sexually harassed by my step dad for about 3 months and i fell like i have no friends. I only have 20 more days of school. As i write this i am crying wishing that my life could be good. Wishing that everything could go back to the way it was in 7th grade. I am 14 years old and i, Kate, feeling like killing my self. I pass this bridge everyday and wonder what would it be like just to jump off and go to where ever you go after you die. It's probably better then this piece of ****. Like i said before I was sexually harassed, like touched in places, woke up with my step dad it my bed, got used, abused and now I don't know why but I just don't love him anymore. He would get naked and just make me touch his d*ck and i couldn't say no i was so afraid. I told my mom 3 months later and she forgave him after 2 months. I miss my old life. I have only 2 real friends. A girl named Erika and a boy named Anthony I love them so much and trust them with all my heart. If i didn't have them i would probably had already jumped off this bridge. I used to have a lot more friends but as time went on they became just friends. Just simple friends that I see for "helping with homework" and "hugging them if they are sad." Well I just needed to get my story out of why that bridge looks so tempting, why i feel like cutting mysef and why I hate my stupid stupid life.
|Posted by anonymous at May 7, 2012|
Basically I'm from Europe. A shitty shitty country there. I know that if you want to succeed in life you shouldn't listen to other people and do your thing. It is impossible for me to study here because I don't have 8 years of musical school. I want to sing opera. I have talent. I'm not trying to brag, I'm only pointing it out so you do not assume I am one of those people who are blind to what they can and can not do...Anyway. Even if I finish those 8 years in a faster period I would have to have money for that. Money and connections. That is my country. Exactly like that. Money and connections.
I'm 19. I'd like to study in the USA. I don't need former education- I mean 8 or plus years of musical school? I have knowledge and a voice.
I quit the college in which I was here since I wasn't happy. Not doing the real thing I want. And I will be working now so I could pay my singing lessons and also to save up if I will be going to the USA to study. I know I have to pass the SAT and everything. And I know it is a bit of a long shot, but damn it, why can't I have a dream and why can't I be one of those people who succeed because they were headstrong and never gave up and who always stood back up after they fell?
My parent are not happy of course. No parent would be happy if their child quit college to chase a dream. I know they don't believe in me and they think it's too hard and they think I'm not living in reality. When all my life I've been hearing about them an...
|Posted by Horrible. at May 4, 2012|
OK. Well to start off, I'm young ( not going to say my age sorry) and I though my life was good until a year ago. That is when I started to have sucidal thoughts. I spoke to a few people, and I convinced myself it was just a phase. Well just a few months the sucidal thoughts came, again. I simply just brushed it off, thinking it was just another phase, but then I realized I was getting more and more depressed. I went to get help, but that didn't help, so I decided to bottle up my emotions. Time passed, and I was getting a little better with the help of friends and family. Then this guy I REALLY liked, hurt me so much I started to self-harm myself. By that time I only had 2 good friends who I told what I did. They didn't like it. But not even a week later he hurts me again, and even one of my good friend, who I shall call Brenda. The two of them ( Brenda and the guy I shall call Ryan) were friends WAY before I met them. Mind you we were all best friends until Ryan hurt us both. We then decided not to speak to him, until he says sorry. We have been waiting for 2 months for him to say sorry to us, we have already given up. Knowing that he won't. Just recently, I had a fight with Brenda, and were not speaking. My parents aren't speaking to me either, and my other good friend is dead, from cancer. It seems like everyone is out to hurt me, weather they know it or not. Right now I have no one, and I am getting more and more depressed each day. I have an empty void, which is ?only becoming more bigger. People I see, I put on a facade for them, fake laughs, fake smiles, fake.... everything. I don't know how much I can take this. I don't know how much I can take people prentending to care when they don't. It hurts, it still does. But what do I do? Bottle my emotions up, and fake everything else. Right now I'm on the breaking point. I just dont care about my life anymore, I'm sick of it. I have finally given up. Goodbye.
|Posted by anonymous at May 4, 2012|
My mom died when I was about 14-15 years old. Even though I have always been quiet and not really a people person, I closed up even more after her death. My mom's family completely forgot about my brothers, my dad and I. They didn't only forget us but they also told to everyone we knew that we were responsible for my mom's death which is completely stupid since she died from cancer. Why would us - her family - be the cause of her cancer? I always loved my mom very dearly. I was even sleeping with her until she passed away. After her death everything became a mess. No money, no structure. My dad was very supportive but it was still very dysfunctional. I am so grateful for my dad since he was the one that was there for us - my brothers and I - throughout the whole time. We had a lot of financial difficulties. We moved from one side of the country to the whole other side believing that would be the remedy for our misery. I went to university. My dad always wanted me to become a Dr. But I don't have the money, the time and the will to do that. I got accepted to the program I wanted, but it was in a city 10 hours away from where my family was living. I went there for a few years. It was very difficult. I changed a lot throughout those years. I had my first relationship, my first love, and the first time I got my heart broken. The boy I was going out was with a lot of different people and he was also already planning on marrying this girl that he knew for a long time that was l...
|Posted by Ananymous at May 4, 2012|
Well, I guess I better start with this. My grandpa, who I called "Papaw" died of a Heart attack in his sleep when I was only eight years old. I became mildly depressed and cried myself to sleep every night for at least two years. I couldn't shake the feeling that I could have done something about it. My Papaw was the best Christian I've ever known so I have no doubt he's in a better place but I still nearly cry every time I think of him.
After a while of that I stopped. Got much happier and let myself breathe. The sadness of the loss still weighs on me but I have learned how to handle it. Now this next part is going to seem very childish and not nearly as bad as any of your problems, but I'm in sixth grade now, and life has kind of gone downhill. I know I have everything in front of me but life is hard right now. At the beginning of this school year I met an amazing girl (Who's name I don't want to give so for now I'll call her Veronica.) anyway, It took her a while to tell me this but she cuts herself. She started going to a counselor in sixth grade because she had horrible guilt problems. And eversince then her life has been hard. She has liked..Well loved a boy for four years, who has never liked her back. And to top it off her mother may have cancer. Now here's where she comes in: she is the one that told me my cousin (Also a teenager) Had lost his virginity an was now smoking. That killed me. My whole family being freakishly insane Christians I knew th...
|Posted by greet at May 3, 2012|
I'm a 21yrs old girl and live in Indonesia. Everything starts in 2009 when I accepted at university. First, I enjoy all the subject and all my new friends, until I know that most of them think that I'm just a girl with no brain, can't think, and useless. I tried to be closer with them, but they just ignoring me. I tried so many times, but they keep ignoring me. They come to me when they just want something that they need, like money. And in 2011 I decided to leave that university. But they keep annoying me, in facebook, or SMS. I'm sick of that. Then I've deactive my account. But not just that.. I have no friends that really understand me. My best friend from college even slander and blackmail me. Ask for more money from me. I was drawning into sadness. I have a boyfriend, but he's kinda bit selfish. Everytime I tried to ssharing my day with him, he just yelling at me. I don't even say anything bad about him, why he's yelling at me? Am I wrong? When I got sad, and I didn't tell him why I'm sad, he's yelling at me again, he told me that I don't have a respect for him because I didn't tell him. In facebook, I find out that he's flirting with someone else.. I'm break down. I started to hurt myself, scratching my wirst, take a lot of pills and hoping that I died. For many times I did that. Now I have a brown mark in my wirst, and still hurt when I touch it. While I got depressed, a bad news come. I'm suffrerd a heart attack, because of the pills effect and my depression. Righ...