| | Posted by ladylay at June 23, 2011 |
i had everything, a great education, great looks, charming skills... then i did a music degree in a town far away from home and everything changed. i got into drugs, then when i finished my degree i moved to europe with a student loan. things started to take off pretty quickly, i became a DJ and was DJing at all the best clubs, then i got a record deal... then everything turned to shit. it took 5 years for the damn record to get put out - not because it wasn't finished but becos the record company was so busy. in the meantime i did drugs, got drunk and told everyone i was going to be a superstar. i even had 2 abortions becos i thought i was going on tour and couldn't go with a baby... fuck i really fucked up. then the album FINALLY was put out and it was a HUGE success. big page reviews in every main newspaper and music magazine, invitations to play massive festivals and concert halls all around europe... but by then i was already broken and fucked up by my life. i just couldn't get anything together. i was mourning for my babies and i was frustrated and annoying to the people in my band. everyone ended up dropping out or i fired them, and then i got a bad reputation. i tell you what, you can have 10 kids on the bread line, but a bad reputation is the hardest thing ever to live down. now i got a kid, finally, he's just gorgeous, and got offered a new record deal, and i have a 2nd chance at doing it big time, and properly, but i just realised that my partner is a horribly abusive alcoholic. he's not ugly or fat, but he's definitely on the way, and the worse thing is, he's charismatic and funny and sweet to the outside world and nobody believes me when i say i think i want to leave him. my mum is an alcoholic and a bad pill head manic depressive, and that shit just makes me crazy. what should i do??? please try not to be too bitchy or religious in your comments. constructivity is the key to enlightenment. thanks for listening :-) |
| | Posted by nobody at June 23, 2011 |
I Can Not Do This Anymore...I Had A Family Girlfriend For 11 years Kids Dog Cat Grandchild Just Came Into The World..Im 44 turning 45...then i let her go to texas to visit family and she cheats on e the day after she gets there and leaves me in the state that i moved to to be with her and her daughter and my two kids...well the 11 years were awesome..i was in the best part of my life ever...ofcorse i did drive all the way from minnesota to get her and try and work things out in june but in august she went back to be with a married man...the day after she left my sone moved to wisconson and me and my daughter and grandaughter moved back to ohio...well come to find out she got this boyfriend and he has her doing coke...now ive tried and tried to keep things in order..and deal with my losses and keep reasuring my daughter and my son never returns my calls dont know why...i didnt beat my girlfriend and i didnt mistreat my childern i woked my fingers to the bone for them and it seems like i did something wrong when all i did was do the things a man should...i cant take this empty souless feeling anymore noone calls anymore unless its drama i have to fix or reasure or something but its never good...i dont know anymore im a strong man usually and always has the right answer but now it seems im all out of answers and i cant even help myself anymore...i just feel like im slowly dieing...like everyone just turned and walked away and thers nothing left for me...i would have killed ... |
| | Posted by Tommy at June 23, 2011 |
At face value my life doesn't appear to be all bad. I have had the basic essentials provided to me by my parents whom have been somewhat decent to me. The real problem is my twin brother who is just all around better than I am. He is smart, attractive, and popular(on the varsity football team). While I, on the other hand, have never accomplished anything noteworthy ever. I am dumb, mediocre looking, and, on top of that, I have social anxiety(resulting in absolutley no social life).
Do you know what it is like to be a total failure while your brother is mister perfect? He goes out to those Friday night parties gets drunk and hooks up with the pretty girls at school, while I stay home every weekend and sit in my room by myself. Or how about those family reunions with all my uncles and cousins who open the door and go straight to Chris(sometimes walking straight past me without even saying hi). Chris tells all of his crazy/funny stories to the relatives as I sit in the back round and stare off into space, totally unnoticed.
I try so hard to be like Chris but it never works...it sucks having everything you have ever wanted manifested as your twin brother. All I want is something to be proud of...something to tell people, something that will make somebody notice me. Why does it have to be like this? Why can't I be just like chris...? Life is so cruel. |
| | Posted by done at June 23, 2011 |
I put my pistol to my head at least once every day. How will it feel? Will I feel anything? How long will I suffer? How do I make sure I don't miss? Which way is best, under the chin? In the mouth? Through the temple? I've selected the ammunition and caliber to produce the largest wound track without a large ammount of clean-up for the responders. Sold every other firearm I owned and most of my belongings. Any day now. |
| | Posted by all alone at June 22, 2011 |
I am a mom of two wonderful children, my son a quite beautiful 23 year old that doesnt have that much to do with me. My daught amazing young lady who has just turned 21. She have always been my best friend even when she was born, i wasnt always there for my kids when they where growning up. you see i was on drugs for most of my life. I was there for all the holidays bring gifts and then gone with another man.
Well today, my daughter works at a hospital, were she work twelve hour shifts. She got married right after school when she found out she was pregnant with a baby girl. I was always scared she wouldnt let me get close to her baby, but she turned to me to keep her baby. I got my self somewhat straight, i started to spend more time with my grandbaby, i love her so much that i felt like i didnt need drugs. Now the baby is two yrs old and i am a nana. I go to pick her up in the morning and keep her until her mom gets off and she still wants to be with nana. I had a dream that my daughter was gone and i couldnt find my grandbaby, i woke up and asked her mother, if she was moving, she didnt respond,,,then she said, mom i wanted to tell you in person but the three of us are moving to Florida. I know i can catch a plane to see her but damn this really suck. I love my daughter and i want her to do better, but i will miss my granddaughter soooooooooo much, and i am my daughters biggest fan forever and always. I love my son in law and i know he would always protect his girls.Though all my tears and all the bad typing i want to say " I love u family" |
| | Posted by neko at June 22, 2011 |
ok, im 13.
my mom died when i was 7 she had bipolar and my parents were divorced before that ,and i live with my dad and grandparents cuz my dad has a crappy job.
my dad hides things behind my back for instance:
he has a tatoo
he smokes
he has a gf
when ever his gf comes to our house he is super nice.but when ever shes not here hes a jerk.my grandparents blame me for everthing that goes wrong,so i hide in my room most of the time.i have alot of trouble sleeping and have scars on my arms. and to top it all off the guy that i like ignores me and can be a crybaby.i found out that both guys that i like smoke.my friends are mostly losers that i cant stand,and my only real friend is switching schools.i moved recently and had to leave my cat who i was very close to.at school i get asked if i cut all the time,and since we have uniforms its hard to hide my scars.my other grandma lives with my aunt and they fight alot so i feel like i have nowhere to turn.the only thing that i have are my drawings.if your just going to die anyways than whats the point of life? |
| | Posted by anonymous at June 22, 2011 |
So this is what ive been reduced to; telling my pathetic story online hoping someone can relate or just try and console me.
A year ago i never used to second guess myself or wonder who i was but now thats all i seem to do. I fell like im good person cause i just want the best for everyone even though sometimes people are people. I only have one true friend worth anything and i know thats more than some people but i used to have more, and now that im somewhat broke a bunch of them dont pick up the phone when i call. I dont hang with people my age much anymore and when i do i have nothing to say. I dont feel that i can relate with people anymore.
Ever since grade school ive always felt like an outcast and that ive always been different, and sometimes i think thats a good thing but other times i just wish i could accepted. I look at the rest of the world and think to myself that this cant be whats accepted in society but sadly it is. I havent been with a girl in over two years and its not like i dont try i have and every time they accept my date but then end up having more pressing business. Im an old school kind of guy even though i just turned 20, i like to ask girls to go to dinner and a movie instead of just inviting them to come and get drunk (even though thats what every other tool box does and it seems to work for them.) I used to think that if i got a girl to take care of i would fell better but now i feel that wont even help.
I just want... |
| | Posted by Jen at June 22, 2011 |
I am sixteen years old, fat, ugly,the daughter of a mentally unstable mother, isolated from all my friends, and as close to depressed as you can get. My life started sucking in November of 2009. When my mom started whispering and telling secrets to my 13 year old sister and telling me it was nothing.When I found out my mom was going to leave my dad, I asked her nicely if she would stop telling megan everything about this.She blew up and starting screaming your the one and starting coming after me.She called my crazy grandparents who I have had to call about to the police several times because they came after her.The first time was when I was five and my siter was only two.So I ran to my neightbors hosue after my mom screamed at me and I spent the last day of chistmas break there.Days before my mom was giving me gifts and I brought her an expensive gift.She said she wanted me to go to a foster home and I was an ungrateful child. I later found out that my mom thought my dad was sexually abusing me and she was turning my sister aganist me. My mom filed a report with the police department and I was forced to go to a counselor who asked me really private questions while a bunch of police were on the other side of the wall listening to everything I was saying.I told the cousnelor this is stupid and my dad is a great father who would never to that.I haven't even been kissed. My mom told me she thought he was doing this on camping trips and every night.The camping trip thing is c... |
| | Posted by TC at June 22, 2011 |
Wow, ok lets get started...I'm a 45 year old woman...I was adopted at my birth to a couple who had decided that adopting a child would help save their marriage. They then later adopted another little girl to be my sister.
I was picked on horribly in school, no friends, younger sister had to protect me from bullies.
Parents divorced with a huge custody battle that lasted 3 months with my sister and I being forced to live at the mean neighbors house down the road.
3 years later when I was 13, my moms mom died, my mom died and not 2 weeks later my dads mom died, and 9 months later my great aunt died.
Dad did the best he could but was in a car accident, hitting his head on a windshield, suffering a brain disorder called a-typical-unusual psychosis. Suffereing paranoia, he lost his job of 23 years, forcing him into retirement.
My sister and I were ripped away from him and put into a foster home, he got us back in 3 weeks.
At 16 I was date raped, my sister at 17 got pregnant, at 20 I was in an abusive relationship and had a child. Married the guy, but divorced him when my child was 10 and tried to start a new life.
Father couldn't live alone, got medical treatment and was doing much better but wasn't his old self.
I have been raped and abused 5 different times, had 2 major surgeries and 2 herniated discs with nerve damage...unable to work to properly care for my child.
Met a really nice guy, my daughter growing up, has lots of problems... |
| | Posted by anonymous at June 21, 2011 |
I have been feeling like crap for the past several weeks and can't seem to find where i belong. I was in love with a guy who turned out to be a jerk who said stuff behind my back and lied to me. He shut down his fb because of me and now he finally got it back, but is tormenting me with the stuff he writes. He says that he never believed in love and thinks i am in some disney fairytale world where there is peace and love and crap and no matter how many times i say no, explain how i have always felt, say love is real, even say that part of me still loves him aand that he was my world, he flips out and makes me look like a bitch and i hate this so much. not to mention there is another guy who loves me, no matter how many times i say i don't feel the same, he still loves me. he stares at me during math, and the guy who is making me feel like crap, (i will call him A and the guy who loves me B), is using him against me and he keeps trying so hard to reuin my life. I am not ready to be with a guy but haven't told either of them, and am just trying to find my place here.
I only have two true friends, but one is a year ahead of me and we aren't going to be in the same school for a year. The other isn't in any of my classes and i dont get tto see her often. I am struggling to find other friends, and think i have found one, but i m still not sure.
Not to mention my 8 year old cousin hates me. I always try to be really nice to my family, but almost every time my family... |
| | Posted by dhruv at June 21, 2011 |
This is my story till now. Its not as bad as most people here but everyone's burden is for them to carry. My life was pretty normal till middle school. I come from a family of achievers and there was a lot of pressure on me during high school. I had a lot of trouble coping with it. This is the stage where I believe I got depressed. I got into a great college and started studying engineering. I had developed a deep resentment towards my parents for pushing me so hard. I always valued my freedom and felt it got lost in the rat race. I couldn't cope with the place and course and left. I got some medical help and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Doctors told me I would be on the pills for life. I scrapped through some stupid college and got a degree in commerce. The damn pills were making me depressed and I felt that my concentration and learning abilities were severely compromised. I got the worst grades I have had during these 3 years. By this time my family had moved away and was living alone. Just when all seemed lost I met the girl of my dreams. She was a clinical hypnotherapist and spiritual healer. My mother had taken the appointment. She helped me a lot in dealing with everything. I somehow remembered what it was like to be me. Against all medical opinion she even convinced me to leave the medication. Its been seven years since I have taken any psychiatric medicines. My parents in the meanwhile kept pressurizing me to take the damn drugs. My career also started makin... |
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| Posted by American at June 21, 2011 |
Life does suck. Who doesn't know this? The real trouble comes from not having the advantages needed at the appropriate time. Healing could have begun for me w/ a job, havn't had one in about 8 months. Boy does that piss me off. I'm 24 BTW. I have a really good friend, the only source of hope and validity I have, in a physical sense. I do believe in God, but something occured in May that has really marred my devotion. Something really crappy happened in May, why I'm writing this. All I can say is, I'm gonna be ok, perhaps you will too. only 3 choices in life, death, jail, or boredom, I chose boredom. A great quote, 'if i had to choose between grief and nothing, I would choose grief'. The key is having a greater desire to really live, than to die, or to even be unhappy. Besides gang, with the global depression on its way, there's not really that much time left to be miserable, God is wrapping things up. |
| | Posted by riss at June 20, 2011 |
first off my husband cheated wit a woman he met online said hi wanna have sex and went to her got her pregnant....did i mention i was in the hospital miscarrying twins while he got his off. he beats me so i put him in jail and left. i now live wit my mom and her husband who sexually assaulted me as a child. did i mention i live here wit my three kids. i sleep wit them cuz im afraid he will abuse them too. my mom and him are achoholics and drug addicts who made it clear they dont want any of us here. this is my gmas house she has cancer so i help care for her she doesnt want me to leave. id rather be dead then continue this life. i dont make enough money to get my own place. i dont get child support they do nothing to make them pay. i just wanna crawl in a hole. trying to go back to school too...denied financial aid. how can i make a better life for my kids when i have no opportunities??? AHHHH yelling! |
| | Posted by Somerandomguy at June 20, 2011 |
I live in a world that is controlled by robots who are only ever concerned about money and if everyone has a job, regardless of the job you have. Apart from this, everything is generally ok, but every now and again it scratches the back of my head.
Before finishing college, obviously I was still trapped behind this wall that you go to school, then college, then uni or a job. That being what the government want you to do. I couldn't find a job straight away and didn't know what I wanted in time of finishing. I found this place to live at tat is supported living, and got on benefits so I could at least have a decent life before gtting a job. Over the last 2 years, I have been able to break that 'wall' down and make my own opinions on what life actually is about, and that is not being trapped on a single boring path working your life away as a wage slave. If anyone has seen the film Avatar, that is how I would like my life to be like, obviously not with the huge battle at the end :-)
Everytime I see a news article on the net about money, it is just annoying and sickens me inside to think that most of the world thinks that to have a good life you must have a lot of money. Another think I thought was stupid was that last year, I went to wilkinsons to buy a cutlery set, just normal knives and forks, no sharp knives or anything, I got asked for ID. Geezus. I don't have one so I didn't get them and was able to get a set from asda. I don't need an ID for anything else, cus I don't drink or smoke or anything like that. I won't be getting one either because I have decided I don't want to be 'linked' to the government-controlled world anymore.
I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who feels this way about money and such. I'd prefer it if I was like a monkey or something in a jungle with all family and friends around me, then there would be no need for such things. |
| | Posted by Hugo at June 20, 2011 |
Oh, look, I'm a 22 yo male in my "best years" and the greatest achievement of the day is that I complained anonymously on the internet about how my life sucks. Yay...
I am isolated from people. I don't find joy in anything at all most of the time. The few times I find some peace or joy, it quickly fades away and then I feel cheated as it must not have been true at all, if it faded so quickly.
I thought I have found life in Christ Jesus (I wasn't raised religious), and honestly wanted to grow in an intimate relationship with God, and it just seems to be an utter failure. I am still not deluded of Him, but of everything else. I look around an see so many lies about Cristianity all around in the World, and possibly 80% of people reading this will think of a completely different Christ. I am talking about the one in the Bible (maybe read some Spurgeon or listen to Paul Washer to know what the difference is). So everyone is professing Christ and say the love God and bla bla bla, but when you look closely they are just as miserable, evil and helpless as you are. They can't really think of others and most of the time it just seems that no one is behaving as if God was actually real. Everyone is just doing their lives and goes on with their everyday things. You would think that a supposed meeting with their saviour would have some impact on their lives, but no.
And here I am. I can't relate to people. Some years ago, I think I had some empathy in me, but is just... |
| | Posted by DepressedChinaMan at June 20, 2011 |
life sucks big time. im a third year student in college and my grades are pretty bad. next year will be my last year of college and i dont know if i'll be able to go to graduate school or get a job in the real world when i graduate. Worst thing is i feel like i have chosen a major that im not really interested in and wasted time for the past three years, also i feel that for the past three years i have learnt nothing; every semester is a failed attempt at catching up with school work. I dont have time and feel soooooooo lost in life and unprepared for the real world. any advice would be nice. thanks |
| | Posted by dad sucks at June 20, 2011 |
Mothers Day I wake up take care of the kid and let the wife sleep in. Hook it up so that she has dinner made for her get her cards the whole nine and she thought I didn't do enough for her. For fathers day I get up take care of the kid try getting the wife up, she finally gets up after an hour and a half then complains about me not being ready. even though once I do I still have to wait for another two hours for her to get ready just so we can go get my hair cut (military) and then go grocery shopping because she can't watch the kid, and shop, and push the cart, and look at the coupons at the same time. On the way home when I get an attitude it's all my fault. |
| | Posted by anonymous at June 19, 2011 |
Im 16, I live in Los Angeles. I thought I'd give you a piece of the only 2 good qualities of my life. Eh, nevermind those suck too. Anyways...
I have been homeless 7 times within my 16 years. My parents were never together, and my Dad told me it only took 10 minutes to make me and those 10 minutes have ruined his entire life.
The first time I remember being homeless was during 1st grade at the age of 5. I remember the other kids in my class laughing and running around and me just sitting in a chair wishing I could be this happy and repeating to myself "Im Homeless". My mother has always taken care of me in all ways, she just made terrible decisions in life which have affected me. We never were outside sleeping but always in motels or in our car. We would get a place for about a year and when she couldn't pay the rent, we were back in the same position. I've always been resilient so I never complained about my life, it just was what it was and I loved my mom and never wanted to her to think I was unhappy although I always was.
Believe it or not, 11, almost 12, years later this is still my life and it upsets me more now then ever. My mother lost her car in 2010 due to unpaid tickets and I have been on the bus ever since, although this is nothing major or anything to complain about, but it is pretty hard trying to be a teenager when you don;t have the transportation you need to just be with your friends.
November 4th, I left for s... |
| | Posted by bEn at June 19, 2011 |
Well, here's my story. It's interesting how I got where I am. Through a series of events, my life has taken a rapid downward spiral. A few years ago I was happily married with a brand new baby girl. During my marriage, my wife was unhappy with the emotional support I was able to give her as I was working long hours to support us and she chose to be unfaithful. The first couple times she did this I forgave her and we worked on things, but she kept falling back to finding attention from other men. The last time she did this I couldn't handle it anymore (at this time we had another baby girl, so that's two daughters I have). I decided to get a divorce and we had a pretty good plan to keep the girls in a stable situation with joint custody. After the divorce, I was living pretty high. I had an amazing girlfriend that was wonderful with my kids a few months after, but she was kinda young (19) and her family had huge problems with our relationship. This became a rocky relationship as a result, she would be with me then disappear for a while as her family would give her too much greif and then be with me again. This would throw me in to Bi-polar mania when she was around and depression when she was gone, I ended up in the hospital for some time. After getting out of the hospital, I was put on medications to help control my bi-polar issues, however it mostly made me manic, where I racked up debt with credit cards, bought a car (an audi that I cant afford anything to g... |
| | Posted by anonymous at June 19, 2011 |
I was born in a family where there's so much dissapointment,when I was about 10 years old my mom had to work nights to pay rent to a shitty-ass house and my dad who is a alcoholic worked morning to late afternoon,and after my mother came home from work she has to turn around and take my older brother to school which he didn't go to school to learn,he went to socialize,my mom spent all that time taking him to school and gas for nothing,my brother had spent three years in the 10th grade,then at 15 i've lost my virginity to my boyfriend,which he was a grown man,we seen eachother without my parents knowing, then a few months later my mom found out about us and ripped us apart,i'm now sixteen and i found out that i had depression and bipolar disoder,my mom won't let me go to public school because I have angry out bursts sometimes, and now we live at a trailor park were the people next door are always loud night and day,my older brother is twenty-one and he mentally abuses me everyday,and sometimes we have fights and not like the ones that brothers and sisters have,they're very brutal, just two months ago we had a fight and he ended up beating me with a broom and kicking me in the back of the head,when he was finish with me my head was bleeding,i had bruises,i thought i was going to die,I just started smoking cigarettes because of the stress from life and from my brother,I'm looking for work and I have no luck finding a job,every night I stay up and just wanting to die,wanting all of it to end,no other person has it THIS bad. |
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