LIFE SUCKS : 2011 June

Alone in this world.

It really is sickening, reading through all of these stories, getting a glimpse at how many of us truly are alone. I feel for all of you, and I am sorry the majority of people have lost common decency... I am twenty-one years of age, and I am very alone in this world, both involuntarily, and by choice. I'll explain what I mean. Much alike all of you, I had a terrible upbringing--my mom working all day, every day, my dad abusing my four siblings and myself, physically, mentally, emotionally. Day in, day out, I was abused. Beaten for petty reasons, like not walking home a mile from my friends, just to find the television remote for my dad, or not making him coffee, or speaking up against his onslaught of abusive, manipulate behaviors. I have chosen, since adulthood, to distance myself from my family. My siblings all care for each other, but they are so messed up that they can't properly take care of themselves, let alone help one of us out, in dire need. I haven't talked to my parents in ages. I ignore their calls, delete their text messages, and block them from my mind as best I can. Life outside of the home was always great. I always maintained a mass-group of close-knit friends; I was the 'popular' kid in school, always dated the best looking girls in school, always went to parties, and everyone wanted to be around me. I am good-looking, physically fit, with a high IQ and have many hobbies--writing being one of those hobbies. After I graduated, I got a job, and moved ou...

I hit rock bottom

2011 the year that australia got flooded, yes we was affected and me and my dad spend days after days and week to get the shop up and running. Our insurance didn't help us cause they say we didn't buy floor affected so we had no choose but to ask the government yet we waited and not so long we had the shop up and running still we waited for the government money. i thought life was getting better as we stared our normal life again but not so long after we hear a bad news saying one of my dad family member passed away. he was shock after that days I never knew that my life was going to be hell and that my life will never be the same. That night my dad had a stroke and he also Passed away leave me and a family that now I have to take care and work to proved for them and now at this movement as we got through all this, one mouth later my stupid brother got in an car crash which everyone was ok but it was a 6 car pile up on to each other. I thought everything going to be ok but they say we forgot to pay the bill during my dad passing and now I don't have any idea what to do and how I going to get the money to pay for the car crash an I'm only 20 years old I feel like giving up I don't know how much more I can take I just don't k ow if I can hold my head up hight and face this is this what god want to push me to the edge to the braking point, can someone please tell me what to do

Why do I do things that I will regret in the end

My step mom and dad are splitting up and its partially my fault.I liked my step mom and step sis but they're done with each other and there is nothing I can do.I wish I could go back in time and take every thing back but once again its too late.It all when I just couldn't keep my mouth shut,not knowing it but I was basically killing myself.I use to say bad thing about my dad to my step mom,because I felt sorry for her.She said my dad was a cheater.She would tell me stuff and I watch out for the signs and it made sense to me.Anyways a few months ago I accused my dad of doing something.That's another story.When my parents ask me to do chores i don't want to and i talk back yada yada yada.Ok I won't talk back anymore.As a matter of fact i won't talk at all.Then the next thing I'm antisocial and I stay in bed too much and no I don't have any close friends,I have a hard time making and keeping them and No I don't play sports.But my attitude and personality obviously did something to make her crack and supposedly she had a nervous break down,because what I said helped to make it worst.I"m sooo tired of this,I just want a way out.I want a way out fast.I don't know what to do any more.My parents don't have good jobs and we are poor probably gonna lose our house.I probably should have named this a summer to remember.NO please don't tell me to join sports because I'm too insecure about myself and no I don't have any friends I am a jealous,ungrateful and lazy bitch according to my f...

I already have enough low self-esteem

I hate how everyone thinks I can handle harsh criticism. I can't. I always try to pass things off as alright. I've never had a problem with anyone - I don't choose to. I can honestly/accurately say that I'm an easy going person. I guess because of this nature, people can criticize me and think that I'll simply brush it off. Most of it is in good nature, but some I feel just go too far.

I know I look young for my age. That'd be alright to say if I were in my 40's or some shit. That just sucks since I'm 17. Asking me why I look young is just stupid. What the fuck do you expect me to say? "Because I choose to"? I'm well aware that I look like a 14 year old, so don't fucking point it out.

I HATE MY LIFE (rant)

My life is boring. I'm 17, and it's summer vacation. You'd think I should be going out with friends and having a good time, but all I've been doing is staying at home. My everyday activities consist of only watching TV and surfing the internet.

My "friends" never call me to hang out. Most of them are out doing something or they just don't give a sh*t about me. It's sad because I've known my "friends" for years, but now they only feel like acquaintances. I have no best friends, and that sucks. I have no one to talk to. I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't think I'll ever be able to have one.

I f*cking hate being poor. You can't go anywhere since everything costs money. I hate the fact that for my last year of school, I'll be wearing the same clothes I've been wearing for years. It's embarrassing because they have holes, the color is faded, and my family can't afford to get me new clothes. I want to help provide for my family. I've been trying to get a job, but no one wants to hire me.

My mother is literally psychotic ever since she lost her job. It's annoying to be up during the day only to hear her screaming and talking to herself like a maniac. So, I do my best to sleep all day just to avoid her as well as my father. My father never talks to me, except after he's done using the computer for hours on end - which is sick considering the fact that he only uses the computer to talk to other girls. I hate my father for cheating...

lonely

hi my name's abhinav. i am here to tell ya'll my story. i'm 19. i love a girl for the past 3 years. i dont know about her if she feels the same. i've given her hints about how much i love her. actually, i even proposed her one day while i was drunk badly. but she didn't replied to me as i was drunk.
i am all alone. i dont have a single friend whom i can share myself to. life's going on and she resides in me deeper day by day. it's been same for past 2 years. she was a good friend to me. we studied together. but then she went to another city. since then i dream of her day and night. i haven't seen her for past 2 years. but i still remember her. she never leaves me. she is inside me. many times i fancy that i am with her spending my time. she's like that she stays with me but never speaks. she is in my life, i can feel her but cannot touch her. i can speak to her but cannot listen to her. i want to spend time with her as she is. in my daily life as a fragrance that never leaaves you. as a cancer that kills you day by day. as a drug for which you can do anything. but i think life has another measures for me. i cant spend my time alone with her. something comes up and i have to leave her alone. actually its the family that stops me from staying with her. i want to stay with her. everytime i try to go back to her, something stops me. i dont know what it actually is. i just cant go back to her. i am fed up. i want to go back to her in my unrealistic world. but its also my family that i love. if my family wasn't there i would surely had been dead by now and you all wont be reading this. i want to live with her in my world. just her and me and nobody else..

could things get anyworse!!!

im 21 and live in christchurch so there goes the first part of my story. As many of you know from following the news christchurch as been hit with atleast 3 decent earthquakes (and many aftershocks inbetween)since september last year year 2010, this is a major diffeculty in my life as i find it hard too just decide to leave because not only does my dad and my uncles whom im very close with live here, but im also not sure if my partner of 1.5 years wants to leave either as her brother his wife are due to have a child soon and have also mortaged a home here in chch before the earthquake started rocking our city,not to mention her brother has a job which he loves here at one of the intermidiate schools as a teacher. Also both her parents live here i get along with them very well and they are very supportive to both me and my partner, but considering the circumstances they also cant leave because of job comitments and two homes which they own here.. now the second part of my story is that my beloved mummy rest her sole pased away about three weeks ago at 40 years old. Leaving 5 children three boys aged 7 ,13 ,18 and two girls aged 20 and 21. All us children loved her dearly and it feels so frightning to know that we will not have our mum there during the most crucial moments within our child and adulthood.. for example during the two weeks i spent in auckland helping organise the funeral and gather mummys things, i found out my 20 year old sister is pregnant. My 18 brother ...

There are no "Golden Years"

I can't say life sucks, but I know for a fact the years that you can't wait for time to pass are the best years of your life. Enjoy these years, enjoy your youth. when you become an adult you work your ass off, you get older, you may or may not have saved enough for retirement. all the money in the world can't buy youth, and the energy vigor you have when you are young. Time takes it's toll on all of us, no one gets a free pass. When you are young you feel invincible, and you may seem to be for a time. When you reach a certian age (late 30s or 40s) you will start falling apart physically. Very, very few people escape this natural gradual decline in physical health for much longer than that. It is quite sad, you finally master your career skills and have much more personal self control, then, you watch it quiver and fizzle and life becomes more and more burdensome. I guess there are some lucky folks that have this come about a little later in life, but eventually it will get us all. Only a select few will live to see late 70s or more. I am only in my late forties, but I live in an older neighborhood with many retirees. My best friend just died 6 months ago, he was 86. He was a very tough, active man till about a year before he died. He fought for our freedom in WW2. He died in an undignified way. loss of bodily function control, loss of mobility, pain and suffering. Good thing he was a Christian, I believe he is with God in heaven now. He and his wife told me quite a few years ago that even though they had few bills, good retirement plans from American Tobacco Co. his military pension, and social security, "there are no "golden years" Work hard and retire as early as you are able, there are no guarantees that you will live long enough in good health to enjoy your twilight years. There is no way to know how long your body will last before it betrays you. Heed this warning please, I speak from much learned knowledge.

SUCCESSFUL PROFESSIONALLY, but alone...

So, I have worked so hard my whole life to have a career---lot's of education, lot's of jobs to pay for school, worked hard at my career, and I find myself in a good stable place career-wise, but totally alone.

I am grateful for all the good things in life, but man, it sucks to have no one to share life with, and it makes no sense to work so hard for decades to end up alone. There are times I like solitude, but many times I wish I had even a best friend. I have had best friends/groups of friends in the past, and I have been in long term relationships, but for some reason I feel like a guy on an island.

I live in a big city, I love where I live. I find that most people that I meet are lacking in character, or are unkind to others, and those who seem really nice at first are frauds...they have some agenda, mostly to use others who are more stable.

What I would love is even a good friend, someone who has no agenda, but loves the things I love and wants to be in a relationship where we laugh, travel, support each other, do holidays/birthdays together, etc.

Does anyone have some advice?

my famikys slave

I was sexualy abused by my stepfather when I was 7 my mother was and is still a very bad drunk who chose him over me. So I was raised by my grandparents who never let me leave the house outside of going to school, I was theyre personal slave doing everything for them cooking cleaning laundry grocery shopping you name it. Ive never met my real father and havw been beaten my whole childhood. I left home when I turned 18 settled down ans had two children with an unloving and very unemotiinal man I live a boring life I never do anything.besides cooking cleaning and taking care of my children. Im still taking care of my grandparents bwcauae no oneelae in my family will help. My whole family uses me for anything and everything they can and they treat me like crap. Im so tired sometimes I wonder if I can keep going like this.. The only thing that keeps me from killing myself is my tqo children who I love with my entire heart. I hope things change!

why even bother

I wish if only once someone would ask me what's wrong. Can't they all see that I'm not the ever confident and reliable leader I make myself out to be? Is it that hard to tell that I am a fake? I ask people what they think of me and the situation is exactly what I feared; they tell me I am great or successful and should be happy with my life. Worst of all they tell me they want to be like me one day. Do they not see that I am inches from ripping my hair out? Have they not discovered I am a horrible, evil, lonely person? If they would only just know me, maybe just one person. They would hate me but as long as they knew me it would save me from this dread.

I am 23 and I am currently completing pilot training on the T-38 for the United States Air Force. I am the only female in any of the fights. I am also currently first in my class with only one citation for an improper radio transmission. I spent my high school life studying and doing community service to get in to the Air Force Academy. I spent all my time at the Academy studying, playing sports, and doing military shit so I could get a pilots slot and graduate first in my class. Now I go in to work fly for an hour, go home study for six hours, run for a few hours and try to sleep. I have nothing else. Fly Study Run Sleep.

I have nothing. I have nothing and then all these people come up to me and tell me that they envy me? It just makes me feel so hallow. I am just a shadow. I am just so lonely.

Failure

Hi, I'm am 21 years old and currently (but barely) attending a university in georgia. I say barely because I am a constant failure at pretty much everything I do. Let me elaborate: my grades began to go downhill in the eighth grade where I repeatedly went to school, hating everyone and everything about it. It then continued to high school where my work ethic progressively dropped and I failed two courses my junior year. My father is consistently on my back about getting better grades but even now, I fail classes in college. I also live in the ever growing shadow of my sister's success. The only thing I am good at is music (which is my major) however, no one cares about it anymore. Its been ruined by pop culture and MTV. Even then, I cannot find the motivation to get up in the morning and pretend to care. In between all of that my father consistently tells me how I'm failing only to remind me that I'm not going anywhere in life. I am always worried about pleasing people; however, I care so much about what people think of me that I don't even have my own personality anymore. I feed off of everyone else's in hopes that I will become them. It doesn't help that my friends are better than me in just about everything: intelligence, looks, personality. The only thing I have on them is my generosity. I am a nice person but that gets you nowhere in life. As a result of being too nice I have been left by the past two girls I've dated for other people. The first left me for someone at her work. Unfortunately I got hired at that place the very same day she told me she didn't want to see me anymore. The next just stopped talking to me altogether. I am living in fear now that the girl I'm dating is getting bored with me and will soon follow the same path as the rest. In all, its not near as bad as some of the people on here, but having a bleak future is starting to weigh pretty heavily on my emotions. I feel like I'm losing my grip.

Powerless

At first I was just going to journal in a word document, but i found my self typing "being lonely" on Google and here I am. My life on the outside is pretty good; husband, house, job, education, but on the inside I feel empty and alone. I am a recovering drug addict (four years clean), and there is still so much i need to learn about how to deal with feelings and life on life's terms. I had to change everything when i stopped using drugs including lifelong friends. I still have not made any deep connections with new people in my life and everything seems superficial. I come from a broken home with a mother who had severe mental illness, so i have always longed for that relationship and in reality it will never come to be. I know right now if i could just stop being so damn self centered i would be better but sometimes.... i am powerless over my thoughts and feelings.

My life is the worst

My life is terrible. I am 5'8 and 350 pounds. I cant lose weight to save my life. I am bow legged and pigeon toed.I have never been to a party. I dont have any money. I cant find a job. I'm 20 and have never had sex, kissed a girl, hugged a girl, or even had a social conversation with a girl. I have had 3 different cell phones and have never received or sent a text message because I have no friends. I'm flunking online community college classes. I sit at home all day. The only time I leave the house is to go to church or when my mom goes to wal mart. I dont actually go inside wal mart but I sit in the car just so I can see people walking in and out of the store from my car. Its the only time I get to see people. I was embarrassed at my high school graduation practice when a kid told me to use a treadmill in front of the entire senior class. Everyone laughed including the principal. I dont have any good clothes. Just tattered jeans and a polo shirt that is about two sizes too small. And the icing on the cake, my father passed away last year. But hey, at least I have food and shelter. Who needs friends?

im tired of this life shit

Im tired of fucking living. im tired of fucking trying. i am 20 years old have been looking for a job since i was 18. i hate the world around me. i cant afford a phone so i have no friends or girlfriends. the best thing in my life is food stamps that allow me to eat. i cant afford even the simplest pleasures in life. my hair is never cut. I want things i know i will never have. i just go by day to day barely making it. i have dreams of wealth and prestigous careers that i know will never happen for me. how can i move up if i cant get my foot in the door. i live in the ghetto in atlanta.

I hate this reality

Not bad enough to be 60 and in lousy health. Disability sucks. My time is my own, but the "pay" is so far below poverty level its a joke. Any attempt to relieve pain has its own consequences; durgs leave me feeling fucked up, and yesterday, I was told the pain clinic would no longer write me scrips for needed medication, because I tested positive several times in the last 12 or 15 years. Fuck 'em all. Fuck Everything. No one actually gives a shit about anything written here, but it feels better being able to blow off some steam. Thanks for that. No gods will relieve you, if they exist at all they just watch. Humanity rushes on its way down the toilet, America especially. My sole wish is for a re-write of this life, only WITH MEMORY, or oblivion. total non-existence in any way, any form.

My life has always sucked

Well, I guess I just want to tell my sad story though perhaps some may not see it that way. So, my mom was always crazy, and not the typical crazy. She was depressed, paranoid and I believe that she is deeply and profoundly broken. Growing up she abused me mentally and physically. From the time I was 2 till about 10, I was always covered on bruises and sometimes couldn't even move because of excruciating pain. She would also psychologically abuse me by calling me fat, stupid, a slob, etc until i would break down and cry but that didnt seem to male her want to stop. My dad adored me in his own way but was always gone and never seemed to notice how abusive my mom was. I was molested when I was 4 by a neighbor and raped when I was almost 9. The sad part is thar no one even knew until I told my mom when I was 16 and of course she blamed me, but now she is just refusing to even acknowledge that it even happened. Well, when I was 17 I decided to leave home and move in with my God mother, who didn't have any children and always seemed to like me. I had a great 7 month. Finally I had someone who cared for me, who got up in the morning to make me breakfast and take me to school. I finally had someone who I can talk to, someone I can laugh with, someone who found me smart, charming and funny. But of course my life sucks so This didn't last for long. My parents wanted me back and they made it very clear that they would stop at nothing. Finally I caved in and moved back in the he'll ...

Hard luck find me everywhere

My present situation may be better than many people but what i go thru my life everyday sucks big time.I m 28 with no source of income live with my parents and have a wife to support and recently just had a son.I really wasnt ready to become a parent but my family and my wife wanted it so i had to eventually gave in.I started my own business of construction but it bombed and i cant go now to find a job or anything coz i dont have a degree.I want to pursue my studies but with work pressure and trying to survive all the time it has become really hard.I really want to move out coz we live in a joint family with my dads younger brother and his family and i dont have good terms with him so there is a lot of friction and my dad always supports him i dont know y so now i have started having friction with him too.Plus being in a joint family also means that one cannot do so many things which one wishes. Right now i cannot even enjoy father hood coz all of the tensions i have in my head.I have never done anything wrong but always end up of having the stick end of life.I dont want to die, i pray to god everyday and just want things to fall little in place so i can also show to the world that i am capable of doing so many things.i really dont have a best friend or someone who i could talk about it openly wish just some opportunity comes my way and i am able to survive in this world and help also those who go thru bad period in their lives.

my story makes half of these seem like lottery winners

Im 26 yrs old and i have absolutely no family or friends. My mom remarried wen i was 8 to some asshole who abused me physically n mentally then convinced her to kick me out on my 18 th birhtday.so into the streets i went no education,car,or money. Stupidly i got involved with this crazy bipolar girl who cheats on me, and i have no where to go.ive suffered thru being with this person for 8 yrs cuz i have nothing. I had a heroin problem from age 18 to 24 and i got on methadone like two yrs ago but since i dont have a car i hafta rely on crazy girls car to get me to my clinic. I am completely trapped here with this person we live with her parents and they hate my guts. Even tho i pay them rent, they still treat me like an indentured servant. In 2007 i found my father after twenty or so odd yrs of not seeing him. He lived like 1700 miles away from me but we would talk on the fone all the time. Then 8 months later he had a heart attack and died. My world stood still, the one person on the whole face of this flea infested planet who cared about me was gone. So now i just drift aimlessly thru life with no purpose or direction, cursing my mother for not choosing abortion, smoking pot,getting verbally abused by girl and her parents with absolutely nowhere to go. I cant take it anymore i want to leave this world so bad, but im christian, and im completely terrified of going to hell. So instead i cut myself.incredibly deep. A couple yrs ago i slit my forearm down to my wrist,(the r...

never had a girlfriend

my life sucks because i have never had a girlfriend. i have never had a girl ask me out or even look at me and smile. im really ugly. im chubby and have thick black hair and glasses. i also have no talent. i am worthless. im proof there is no god. every christian says god doesnt make mistakes but i am a mistake. so theres proof. im so stupid that i cant even write this with proper grammer and spelling.i am a failure of natural selection. i just take up oxygen and polute the earth. i have deppresion, anxiety, and suffer from learning promlems. i am scared to death of the illuminati.they have a eugenics program. i already know for a fact that people are going to make fun of this posting but i needed to set off my never ending sorrow some were.