LIFE SUCKS : 2012 May

I'm an enabler doormat

I been with my guy for 8 years. I have more or less supported the household the entire time we have been together. He has been in and out of jobs and when he is employed spends his money on god knows what...well now I know what. A few years ago he admitted to cocaine use, shoud have seen the writing on the wall. The mood swings, erratic behaviour, verbal abuse. I should have left but I'm such a door mat. He promised to change and was actually doing well, thea few days ago admitted he was using again. I am such a doormat. I gave an ultimatum, but I'm such a spineless pushover, he will probably continue to mooch off me and do what he likes for as long as I let him. Now I just distract myself with hobbies and try to have a life otherwise, but I know my life could be so much betterthan this.

lonesome

I am alone. I have been seperated for 6 years. I get my daughter every weekend but the rest of the time I wake up, work, come home and watch tv till I fall asleep. I know it isn't as bad as most of you but I can't help the oppressive loneliness I feel. I've tried online dating, chat rooms, etc but can't get past the seeming falseness of people. I feel it isn't healthy for my daughter but I don't know how to change this. I don't see how this will change anytime soon. I think I'm destined to be alone forever.

What is my meaning in life?

OK most people may think, Iv'e got my whole life to live... im 21.
BUT, Iv'e been to college, iv'e got two diploma's in art, and yes, yet again, most people may think that's more than alot of people. Iv'e been UNEMPLOYED for over 3 years.
I have no friends. I barely speak to anyone, and im really insecure.
I have a bf who has ADHD, he barely listens to me, neither do his family.
They seem so volatile.

I live in an area, where its hard to make friends, i have so called "friends" online, but that's where i spend my days... online. Never out in the real world, with people!
I feel so empty.
Noone ever wan't to socialise with me, im quiet, it takes me a while to trust a person, but, surely that's normal? right?
Most days im stuck at home, alone. Online, just wasting my days away...
i know that nothing will ever change until i do.
But how can i!?
I've got noone to talk to.
My family barely call, and when they do they barely speak to me much.
I don't know how to cope anymore
Help me?

none

I would tell you a deep, emotional story about how hard my life has been. What would that do? Get a me a sympathy vote? I've moved past that. You can vent a million times but no matter what, it doesn't the fact that life fucking sucks. Just becausse you vent, does that mean that everything will magically turn better? No. And, if it does, 9 times out of 10, everything will go back to shit in a blink. The human existence has become worthless. People are born everyday. Why would I matter when I die? I don't. No matter what I do, I will be forgotten. At this point, I see no reason for me ever being born. So, I could have a few moments of illusioned happiness? And the very next day just come back into that pit of depression? I don't want to live anymore. I do not want to feel anymore.

No way out

I'm 30 years old and been depressed for a long time now, I have no friends, they all drifted away a long time ago. I live with my girlfriend of three years and our two year old son. Every morning I wake up and its the same routine as the day before. I do all the house work,dishes,laundry,vacuuming etc. I no longer ask for help because that just causes a fight. I wish I had more energy to play with my son but we just stick him with his ipad so he's out of our way and he plays it all day and that makes me sad. I work nights 3 days a week which is not enough. I wake up late so my days are that much shorter. My gf has a calling job from home and is beginning to despise me because I'm so negative. I agree that I am...what's there to be happy about? I do all the house work, all the driving and get nagged by her daily for not having a better job. She is somewhat of a big spender and goes to the bar on a regular basis while I sit at home babysitting our son. She loves attention from other men and I had many guys texting her asking if they are still running away together or asking if her boring bf is gone, and at one point she even brought a guy home when I was at work, a guy she told me she knew from high school but later confessed she met him for the first time at the bar and he was coming on to her. Not only was I mad that she did that but I was furious that she would put our son in danger. Despite all this I do know she never cheated on me but she says she does this because I ...

I'm just sick of life

I had a pretty normal childhood. Lots of friends, but never felt I quite fit in. Girls liked me, but when I started to look different around 14, I would get teased sometimes and hardly ever dated in high school. I'd say I'm probably better than average looking, but when I look at myself in the mirror sometimes I want to puke. When to college and dropped out a year before I was supposed to graduate. I was a total pot head for years & had a bad acid trip that fucked me up for a while. I started getting my shit together and by the time I was 25 I was a buyer for a real cool company and had a nice place of my own. My world changed when I was 26 and was diagnosed with OCD & depression. The OCD makes me feel crazy. It got so bad that I tried to off myself when I was 28. I couldn't figure another way out. By the time I was 30 I was doing well again getting treatment, making decent money, living alone in a nice city, getting laid, but unable to maintain any relationships. I was always a loving, caring person, but the OCD makes you doubt everything from some of the sick thoughts you get. It's like you have to be reprogrammed to walk or something. My biggest fear is that I do something that may put somebody at risk inadventantly. I feel like I'm responsible for people to a level where it's just crazy. Anyway, I lost my job by the time I was 38 and went off my meds...a really bad combination. Back on the meds but broke at 40 and had to move bad to my hometown and my parents house. I...

read me, advice appreciated

I feel life is numb. And when it isn't boring and meaningless, you get an illusion that it is meaningful.And those are what people call happy moments. Those illusions in forms of art, progress and advancing... Since happiness comes only at times, at moments. And when that moment passes, what are you left with? Morality doesn't exist. It's only social pressure. You have to be around other people because then you exist. If you are not around others and they do not accept you, it's like not excepting your existence, so what is the point? I am at least grateful to have my health... Nihilism I guess. No moral in this world. You know? You are in a social relationship with a group of people and by being surrounded by them, you just act according to whatever is "right" for that group. But if you go out of that group and go to another one, where there are other things considered moral and those that are not, you can adapt. So I think life is a lie. Just being meant to feel pain or live an illusion.
Don't judge, you are just as fucked up as I am. I'm open to other opinions. Shed some light on me. I will take into consideration whatever you tell me. Because if this goes on I think I will snap at one moment. Other people will continue with their lives so it doesn't really matter.

I have lost almost everything

I am 46 and never married . All of my life I longed finding my soulmate , a good and logical man , but simply I was not lucky enough .I have tried to work and be indipendant .
But I live in a country that the quality is not important .

I lost my father . Then I lost my job . And as it was not enough I was victim of a fraud by someone who pretend that had some romantic feeling toward me and made me pay all of my saving to him . I can never forgive myself . I have been so fool
Now I am jobless , pennyless and alone .
Is anyone know a way for countinuing life ?
I know that I will never give up , I will try to find a well paid job and I should pay my debts . I owe it to my good friends who helped me through that hard time that I need money .
But I do not know How I can find a Good job for a travel agent abroad and How I can get work visa ?
Is there any one know it ???

can't move on

I'm 33 years old and gay. I had a very good career in Washington, DC, but decided to go to graduate school. My first summer I started hanging out with this guy as friends, but started liking him, and he indicated he was interested in me. Because of my self-doubts, I never acted on his signals, so I friend-zoned myself. He met someone else, and we remained friends, with my feelings growing even stronger. We were best friends, spending nearly every day with each other increasingly closer. Throughout that year, he still sent me signals: tried to kiss, spent Valentine's Day with me instead of his boyfriend, would hug me very tight and pat my behind. Eventually, I couldn't hold it in anymore and told him how I felt and he rejected me. I went on a total bender, drinking, drugs, casual sex. I even changed my degree program to finish one year earlier. I graduated without a job and with $40,000 USD in student loan debt. My sister gave birth to her first child and I moved to help her (she's a single-mom). She lives in the suburbs of a small southern city where I don't know anyone and it's an hour to the nearest gay bars. I finally got a job, but I didn't like it and they wanted me to move across the country; they eventually fired me. I saved some money, but it's all going to student loans. So after finishing school three years ago, I'm jobless, friendless and still dealing with the sting of rejection. I'm technically over him, but have not been able to move on because I have no social outlet and no money to find one.

Short version: heart-broken, jobless and living with family for three years.

I just want to back to the reality

I'm a depressive person... I just hate my life right now I was unhappy all my life nobody cares if I'm alright ... I just get married a few months ago I moved to another country because I was fall in love but then I was away from my mom my friends and my normal life because of love and now I'm crying because I have problems with my husband he is a good guy but WHEN he wants to be mean he is good! AND make my life a big black hole....I just feel stuck I cant go to school I cant work I cant have my own money I cant drive I cant go out because I don't have FRIENDS.. I just hate my life I JUST FEEL that I cant keep living.... I was a singer in my country I was doing a good job and when I moved every possibilities to be a singer in the future disappear ... I supposed the people told me don't get married you going to get divorce I was blind..... I just feel like a waste of time ... SHIT !

I NEED HELP SERIOUSLY

Guys I have so many problems in my life.
I am in big debts, i am studying and i had to come back home to live with my mom because i dont have money to pay the college nor the room... I dont have the job but I can find some, like working something for about 10 hours a day 6 days a week.. I mean come on ?? If i take the job i cant study, i have only one day off, not enough to visit my friends who are way to far away from me, in the town where I am now i have no friends, i am so lonely, depressed, i suffer for my old friends, i cant see them now due my crisis period.. I must work, but if I work, I will not have the time for my life, i'm afraid... I cant overcome that pressure, also if I work I cant finish my college because I have to study too much, its hard.. And if I work i will have some money to pay the debts but even if I had a ot of money I would have the time to spend it with my friends or family.

How can I overcome the feeling of the pressure of working and being afraid of work ?? I'm afraid because if I work alot i will not be able to see my friends ever again, I will become lonely forever and I might end up with some illness...
I had a dificult life, so i made my good friends very very hard and I am so afraid to lose them. To get far away.. What can do ? what would be the right way of thinking ? Thank you in advance

My life sucks!!

I am 26 and living with my parents after a breakup. They are fucking slobs I tell you.
They never clean up after themselves. I am the only one who does. This house smells like toe jams, stale cigarette, rubbish and poo. Yuck. I cant move out because I cant afford to yet, I am still at uni and I don't finish till beginning of 2013.

I pay my parents $200 a week and it barely goes on food.
My mom doesn't work, she sits on her ass all day playing Facebook games or whatever else she is fucking doing. MY dad works but he is a complete lazy mother fucker when he gets home, he thinks its OK to leave old food on the bench.

The room I am staying in, has no wallpaper, and big fucking holes all over it from my brother when he lived here. It also has no light, so I can't see in my room when I get home. I have fallen over shit countless times.

My parents are hoarders, there is shit everywhere, and I have to live in it.

No one gives a fuck about anything around here, and I want to complain but I cant or I will get kicked out. My life fucking stinks. This house stinks, I never invite people around because it embarrassing.

I cant believe how some people live. My life was great until my boyfriend cheated on me. I am thankful my parents let me move in, but I feel as if I am a maid. And that they are using me for my money, which leaves me less than $10 at the end of the week after paying for travel to go to school!

I know I will get out of here one day, but right now my life fucking sucks.

Oh LOrdy, lordy- look what happens when you're 40!

Oh, mercy, mercy, me- I Just want to be free! HELLO. I used to rock- but not anymore- Sometimes you just don’t see what’s in front of your face! He dragged me by my hair, made me scrub his floors, suck his cock, wait on him hand in foot. All the time his kids would saunter in, not acknowledging me what-so-ever! HA! What an IdIOT I was!!! The abuse, but I loved him….
BUT wait! He told me he LOVED ME!!!! Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! BUT WAIT! He told me he wanted to MARRY ME!!! Why???? Why did he change his mind????
I now understand the “minds of men” and their ways- AHhhhhhhh- The webs they weave….. Now, I fully know the ruthlessness of men. How they control, manipulate, torture, and ultimately breed their spawn on unsuspecting virgins…
They get them pregnant, they fatten them up, make them submissive, and then, send them out to slaughter…. Like cows to the gauntlet- they are led, babies in tow, to go out and fend for themselves…. Never had a job, never had a “career”, only mothers… WHILE Daddy moves on to a YOUNGER woman, one that “fit’s” his style… A TROPHY! Yeah! That’s it! Money, money – Show me the money!!!
Whatever.
Single mothers- dead-beat dads, the curse of the planet. Children- boys, girls, growing up without a mom or a dad. That sucks. Whatever happened to men with balls? What ever happened to guys that didn’t have to fuck the planet to be satisfied and happy with a heavier version of the woman they loved? An Older version of the one they loved. We’re still the same- we just don’t look as shiny or pretty?
You know what- I got a problem. It’s called “BEING PISSED OFF AT YOUR Fing X! $*#*$&*&$#*^! Yeah that’s right DAVID! I am talking TO you!!! I hope you rot in hell! Yeah- that’s right, fester, putrefy, and sink, so low that you want to die! What???? You’re not DEAD YET????
I CURSE YOU! I CURSE YOU DAVID!

Starting over

This is my first time on here, so i'm not sure what i'm doing. I just need to vent and understand if no one reads, as it is long....

I am a 23 year old female that has been struggling with anxiety and depression since a young age. My childhood was rough, parents separated at the age of 6. My dad and I weren't very close but he was the stable parent. My mother got addicted to meth shortly after my parents divorced. The time I would spend with my mom was always so hectic. She would move from place to place, all of which were dirty and never had food. She always had several men from local gangs staying with us as she was always in trouble with someone. I remember having one bed in the house and having to curl up with random men at night. She had been robbed several times, and by the age of 10 I have had a gun in my face on more then one occasion. She met a guy that seemed nice, but we found him overdosed on heroin. She left for a couple years shortly after my 13th birthday. I thought she had died. She later came back and asked for me to support her in treatment. Which I did.
She did good for a few years. At the age of 19 I became pregnant with my son. I wasn't prepared but I was very much in love with his father (who i had dated for 4 years). I had my son and shortly after my sons dad had revealed he has slept with a large portion of my girlfriends, soon after I left him. I was living with him and his grandma, as we were her caregiver. Me and my son at that po...

Desolation

Everything is falling apart around me! Everything! I don't know how to explain this, I don't know what to write. But everything is receding into blackness, my loves, my hopes, my self. This must seem ambiguous, but I don't have the energy to put very much effort into an explanation, except to say that my family is utterly in ruins, my friends are becoming fewer and farther between, the gap between me and society -- the ephemeral chatter of society -- is widening (still!), and I have given up all hope of ever finding love, of any kind or for any length of time -- this is no hyperbole, I see this now as a harsh reality; hope -- hope for love, for acceptance, for understanding -- hope would now require an enormous feat of intellectual dishonesty.
I am alone, I have always been alone, I will remain to be alone -- that much seems absolute. What prospects am I faced with? An endless nothingness without any point of reference; thought has killed conviction.
And you -- you high and mighty arbiters of what is and isn't pain -- judge this all you may, but you can't unsee it!
Disaster, isolation, neglect, lovelessness, hopelessness -- I must not only accept my circumstances, I must love them; if I can not do this, I am lost. To be exalted by nothingness, to be fulfilled by it, to be able to stare into an abyss and roar with laughter -- that would be a magnificent act!

When trying gets you nowhere

I'm 20 years old and for the most part had a great childhood. I got straight A's and was known as the smartest kid in school. I was also a talented violinist. That all changed when I was around 14. My parents went through a bitter divorce, after my dad found out my mom cheated. I was tossed back and forth between them, and basically being used as a pawn. I developed severe depression and anxiety disorders, but since the psychiatrists in this area are so incompetent, they never came up with a diagnosis. They just had me committed to a mental hospital 4 times during my adolescence and early adulthood. During one of the stays they forced me to take a controversial drug which caused me permanent nerve damage. Since then I have flunked out of college, been fired from 3 different jobs, and failed at every relationship I've ever had. I moved 300 miles away from home to be with a guy and right after the move, found out he was cheating and only wanted me for sex. No one will hire me, school is so expensive I can't go back, and I can't even enjoy playing the violin anymore because my nerves are so damaged, I can't even hold the bow. I wish I could hold it just steady enough to play myself a sad song... I never ever dreamed my life would turn out this way.

just bad thoughts day in day out

My life sucks becase I am a 21 year old looser. I've been on the bottom of the ladder for my whole life. I used to always say stupid bizzare or retarded shit just because I hate myself so much that it just came naturally to make a fool out of myself. Now I'm totally freaked out at the fact that word of my behavior has spread around a little bit, I feel like everyone knows me and thinks I'm a freak, crazy or a piece of shit. I rarely go outside anymore to avoid human contact. I feel hopeless, I have no skills or talents, the personality of a wet cardboard box. I hate a lot about society, I hate how people dont do anything to change things they just do their job so they can retire and shit. I really dont want to be around people who are so aware of what a fuck up I am, its making it so I cant even make myself go outside anymore. Maybe one day I'll move away and.... see the problem is my attitude because of my low self esteem, other people have been putting me down my whole life, especially my family so im just a broken shell of a person. I cant think positively so I can't behave or interact positively, I'm basically fucked.

Is this real life?

Well well where to start....Guess I can begin with my age which is 24...I am currently living with my parents. I dropped out of highschool at the end of my senior year because I just didn't want to wake up and go to school anymore. I was overweight and just liked to sit at home playing video games. I am a pretty smart guy which has come in really handy for lying my way through the endless bullshit my life has been. I've never been completely honest with anyone and don't want anyone to know the real me...I have lived in California and got to make up a whole new version of myself. I lost lots of weight things were good...then I sabotage myself again and all back into the same hole.....Went off to college...partied my way through an entire semester finishing with a .3 GPA (Yes ladies and Gentlemen it can be done) SO now I flunked out of college....got nice and fat again and moved back in with the parents. So I make another trip out to Cali....lose lots of weight...while pretending to be another version of myself yet again. So I finish up there move to florida with what little money I have and get a job....this last all of 6 months...which is probably the longest I've committed to anything in my life without quitting or destroying any possible future....SOOO now....I am this 24 year old virgin...with no money...no education...living with my parents again...approaching 400 lbs.(for the 3rd time in my life)...oh not to mention my penis is less than average making any self estee...

I Dont Understand

I am a young boy at the age of 11 and i already feel the need to die. My mom tries to help me (or at least that what she says) but only makes it worse. School is very challenging for me. I feel very UN-intelligent and, well, just sad. I cry every night, always sin have expectations that are asking for to much. I love my parents, they really are just trying to help, and i understand that, but all they do is tell me what i did wrong, never what i did right. Am i alone on this, or do other people fell similar too. I have made friends with ease, and they like me, i like them, but i fell the need to constantly play with them and things like that. They are also very smart, i mean VERY smart, and they expect me to be naturally gifted with some super smart drug or something. My parents cant help, i just feel depressed, i LOVE playing electronics, just because it makes me feel happy, but my parents always say YOUR LIFE IS A MESS or YOU WILL BECOME NOTHING! I know they don't mean it, or at least i hope they don't. this is really minor and i understand that, but i feel more comfortable telling people like you who don't know me rather than telling adults or relatives and friends. Any help. No suicide because i do not want to go to hell, not burn for eternity, but i feel i will go there either way.. :(

Its a fact, life sucks, what are you going to do about it?

You know there are problems in the world when there is a whole webpage dedicated to life sucking. Wow. I googled "life sucks" as I didn't have a good day today and I was amazed to find this website. There are many themes to the posts on this website. Bad childhoods, no friends, no love, loneliness, ugly, tired, worthless, etc. So what's a depressed-life-sucking person to do? Well one thing depressed individuals lack is motivation, so doing anything to change your life is difficult. Changing is a hard thing to accomplish. You can google that too. "How to Change" or "Finding the Meaning of Life" Then you get these 20 step webpages on how to change or find a purpose. It's discouraging. A solution to a problem should be easy. Here are some one step ideas.

Lonely? Try on-line dating. Even if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Meeting someone online that enjoys you for you, will help build your confidence (and then this will in turn strengthen your relationships with others in the real world as we all know, confidence is sexy).

or

Join a bookclub to make new friends. People that join bookclubs do it to make friends, if they were just interested in reading books, they would just read books by themselves.

Bad Childhood? You can't undo the past so tell your parents/siblings how they hurt you. Tell them you are disappointed. You might be surprised to hear that they are sorry (happened with me, and I now have a fantastic relation...