LIFE SUCKS : Anxiety

depressed

i have had anxiety and depression for 10 years. for the past five months its been worse than ever. i stay in my room even though i have a more loving family than anyone i have ever known. they have helped me through everything including taking me to doctors out of state, putting me in rehab facilities, and i have taken every medicine under the sun for anxiety, depression, bi-polar, schitzophrenia, etc. they hurt more than they deserve to over this and i cant stand putting them through this pain. but after all the attempts at finding something to fix this nothing has worked. so i feel hopeless. i dont believe in anything working anymore to relieve this pain. i wish my family didnt love me so much so i wouldnt feel so guilty. i love them more than anything and i suffer because of the pain i put them through. but i feel like the bad guy all the time because now they feel i am giving up because i wont go for more help. but what else is there that can possibly help? this is the worst pain and it is never ending. i feel tortured from the minute i wake up until the minute i go to sleep. i just need to get my thoughts out there to someone who will listen because talking to my family about it just hurts them more and i dont want to hurt them. i get angry at times too because they tell me i am giving up because i wont seek further help. but like i said i dont believe in the help anymore. anyone in a similar situation lke me?

im going crazy!!! I feel soooo loneley ..

well first of all i have BDD BODY DISMORPHIC DISORDER, due to childhood bullyng wich is another story that i suffered because of my appearance and i was poor, i feel loneley no freiends no one to talk to, no one to listewn to me in this cold world and just when i think everything in my life will be okay more problems come along ... i hate this cruel world and people who live in it, i had 2 car crashes where i couldve dies because my care was completley crushed and guess what i diddnt die second time i fliped over fell of the freeway my car was atotal loss im still here nothing happened to me why i dont know maybe GOD doesnt want me to leave yet ,or maybe just tryng to scare me since i want to suicide my self and attempted it,,im diagnosed with depression ,dont feel like going out or doing nothing.. life sucks..i feel so empty,,i hate talking to people even my own family its almos like social anxiety...

Fucker

I loved him. He loved me. We were meant to be together. But then his visa ran out, and he was forced to move back to Australia. He was anticipating on renewing it, and was going to move back within the year. But he got a job, and then he got a promotion. His life was progressing. My life wasn't in motion, I was waiting on his return. I have always had depression, and have been taking antidepressants since I was 13 years old. But he was like a natural antidepressant, when I was with him I would forget my anxieties.

But yesterday, I got the worst news of my life.
He was going to be a father. He wouldn't be able to return.
I have never been this depressed before, and that is saying something.
He says that we can be together, but I will have to move there. I want to do that, but I wasn't anticipating that, and don't have the money.
Plus, I think it'd just break my heart even more being around him raising a baby that isn't mine.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want anything at all besides to be with him. I cannot get myself together.
I break down inside whenever I remember.

I need help. Again.
This depression is back, and is ever lasting, it seems.

My interesting life

Yup, I have a sucky life too!

Cant complain about my childhood or anything like that, but I have only had one friend in my entire life, and we quit seeing each other a couple of years ago.

Never had a girlfriend or ANY romantic/sexual experience whatsoever (unless you count family hugs) despite being 21 years old.

Worked for a while, then started studying only to discover that I can't function normally around people due to social anxiety.

After that, as if it wasn't bad enough, I got depressed and couldn't even get out of my bed for a while.

Since I was three, video games has always been the most fun there is, and now I'm staring to tire of them and there is nothing to take that place.
So I spend my days either sleeping/resting or sitting in front of the computer.

Now I am taking pills for the depression and they take away some of the emotional pain, but life is still very bland, and nothing is exciting.

I am absolutely sure i will never be able to get a satisfying social life, and the knowledge kills me inside day by day...

Why do I have to stay here?

I suffer from depression and anxiety, and there's no telling when my head is going to start screwing around with me and making me miserable on any given day. I lost my religion nine years ago, and life has been meaningless ever since. Don't tell me to get God back into my life, because I don't and can't believe in God. I just have to face the fact that life, in general, is completely pointless. As such, I don't understand why I am expected to tough it up and stick around when I don't feel like fighting misery anymore. Why can't I end it if I so choose? Why is that seen as such a selfish abomination? None of this, my life, my actions, anything that anyone ever does, none of it means anything or persists in the long run (and I mean LONG run). I'm just killing time, trying to outlast the bad times, until my day comes. I just hope I don't have to wait 60 years to see that day.

Hmm

My grandfather has recently been diagnosed with alzhimers and my mother recently said she was glad to accept that he had 'died' in soul. I had never thought of it like that, so now i'm thinking about my reality. I keep wondering what the point of it all is, we lose our minds to ourselves, over thinking or otherwise. I mean the man has had 5 diffferent types of cancer, makes it through that and now he has a slow and painful death ahead of him where he will lose all his bodily functions and probably die confused like a child, after thinking hes being kept in a prison for months on end.

Also, nobody seems to understand that this is hard, and keeps shouting at me for trying to talk to them about it, when they are busy reading about the latest celebrity problem or sex problem.

Also, I have spots all over my face, an anxiety disorder and no money. having no money is a problem for me, but when it comes to my father not working or my younger sister that is okay. I think i get it from everyone about their emotional issues, they take it out on me without asking how I might be feeling.

Also, when I say this to anyone close they proceed to announce that their relative not only had cancer, but a leg missing and were blind too (okay, not quite but you get the point). My councilor is more interested in telling me other people's problems and ways to ignore my anxieties but the truth is, I CAN'T BE BOTHERED. What is the point when life picks off all the best ones either too young, or drags out a painful death for the old.

Also, there is a murder trial currently happening in which a person close to me was stabbed by another close to me. Reading the disgusting details in the news daily is not adding to my sense of well being in the world.

Thinking about the future

I came across this site online and im so glad to know that im not the only one it hates my life or life in general.

Okay so why does my life suck here it goes:
No Job
No G/F
No friends
No house of my own.
I have a learning disability it interfers with learning a job or going to school.

Im 32yrs old now with no money and living in my parents basement lol. I dont see a
future for myself. Everything I do seems to be complicated for me, and I always have the worst of luck usally.

In my 29th year of my life, I started Having Anxiety attacks, in which I would get the dry heaves or puke when ever i felt nervous, i couldnt eat or leave my room
until I got on some Meds, and im still on these meds, and i like having energy but i feel so tired all the time.

If anyone can relate to me, leave a short msg.

Sometimes I just think some people were born into the world to suffer until they
die. I just hope Heaven is a better place then this, or else we are all screwed.

Wtf is the point?

28 years old.
Molested at a young age.
Never cared for by my mother, she cares only for herself due to having NPD and being bipolar.
Misunderstood by everyone in my entire family so I try to hide my life from them just to avoid being hassled with their assumptions about me.
Stricken with severe Social Anxiety that keeps me from relating to others.
Unemployed.
Unable to connect with a woman, always ends the same way due to my insecurity.
Addicted to drugs, mostly opiate pain killers.
Live at home with my Dad who disrespects me daily.
Only "serious" relationship was with a schizo that ended up fucking my friends.
No possessions of value, all money goes to drugs despite my attempts to remain clean.

Yeah, it sucks. But one day I'll recover and all these bad experiences will have taught me some lessons that I can hopefully share with those worthy of my knowledge. Or y'know, /suicide.

Life is hard but you can get through it.

Happiness does not come easily. I suffer from Anxiety attacks. I had them since I was 13 and they still come back from time to time. You know the feeling when your heart starts pounding, you start shaking, and the sweating and the short of breathe. Yes, it sucks and it’s so hard to control them. I can get one at any minute of any day. Avoiding it is a choice you can choose but it can make you so withdrawn from life. Anxiety can later turn into depression, which is something I’m currently trying to avoid. I love life, but the anxiety takes away half of it. I wish I never got Anxiety attacks. I wish it could just disappear. But it’s too late and I know that. The best thing I can do is control it and avoid the things that make my Anxiety grow. Everything is alright. This is my story.

anxiety consumes me

My head always feels like its about to crack open, my heart might stop my jaw muscles spasm and then I can't stop clenching all muscles medicine dosent help and my parents think its all in my head. Ya I hate feeling like a freak but my anxiety has Me by the neck.

duno wat to do

hi im stuck hard! well i was in a serious relationship for bout 6 months i started to settle down because she had a kid an things were starting to go good for me until i joined fb and it all went wrong.after we broke up things just kept goin wrong so called friends started lieing to me and i started becoming paranoid.i started using drugz heavily again and now become insocialable and paranoid all the time iv lost all my so called friends iv found out my x has been sleeping around the group and has now destroyied everything for me. i suffer from social axiety so meeting new people has always been dificult i duno wat to do im stuck an feeling xtremely depressed and i now cant trust no 1 plz help!

All consuming guilt

I'm sure it comes as no surprise when I say this is the loneliest I have ever felt.

I'm a 20-year-old college student who should be having the time of her life. Instead I spend most of my days alone in my bedroom staring blankly at the wall, my computer screen, or the TV. Every time I think about what I'm missing out on I cry.
My friends all left for college and I stayed home to attend a local community college. I never hear from them. My parents and siblings ignore me even though I practically beg for attention. My father is a drunk and hasn't said more than one word to me each day for months. My siblings never notice the pain I am going through each day.
I have serious anxiety and worry constantly. I am a perfectionist and I am never good enough. I push people away when all I really want is for someone to hold me, to touch me, to tell me it'll be okay. I've never felt any support from anyone in my life, and I don't know how to ask for it.
I am constantly overwhelmed by feelings of guilt. I feel guilty for even writing this because I know there are people out there who are worse off than I am.
I am afraid to be close to anyone. I'm afraid no one will ever love me.
I don't know how to change my negative thinking, but I know if I don't I will never be happy. I feel completely alone.

Anxious and Alone

I'm 24 years old and my problems make my life hell. I have a mild form of Autism known as Asperger's Syndrome. I have a few friends but most weekends go by and I'm hanging with my parents because I'm SO lonely and no one calls! I'm way overweight. I have no job. I take one class at a time at a Community College and I see a therapist and one day a week I volunteer. Other than that I do NOTHING all day. My anxiety makes it hard for me to leave my apartment so I never go anywhere without my boyfriend who's sick of me bitching at him all the time because I need more meds or maybe less meds, who knows? My brain is so fucked up I can't do anything normal people do everything I do feels so hard to do. I'm tired of shoving pills down my throat every day knowing that my anxiety is still a ten and the only thing I can do really well in this world is eat and eat and eat. I don't sleep at night I can't calm my anxiety down enough to fall asleep and my schedule is ass backwards. I am so bored and lonely. It's not the disability that keeps me from getting a job, it's the anxiety it creates. I am so desperate for someone to help me.

there is no cure

i have had anxiety and deppresion all my life and no one understands me because they werent born with a chemical embalence in the brain. i have tried so many differant types of medication but they always give negative side effects and i have to get off them. if that seems like it cant get any worse i am also an ugly fat guy who is a complete turn off to every woman in the world. i dont think there is a woman in the world that finds me attractive. i will never get a girlfriend. even if i was good looking and had girls all over me. it would still not work out do to my anxiety and deppresion like i already mentioned. i am pretty much afraid of everything and because of this i dont drive or go to college because im to timid. i have a boring job at my dads factory that he owns. but maybe one day i can take over. it would probably make me a little more succesful with women but i strongly dought it. any ways i hope there is a cure for all of my horrific problems that have plagued me all my life. im afraid that my only cure is shock therepy to my brain at a mental institution. life really does suck big time.

I am totally fed up work all the hours but just live to survive paying bills etc never any left to save, health is not to good recetly my fam was in a car crash leaving them depressed and now sufferin gwith anxiety. my child is now ill aswell I just fight a never losing battle of shit and get nowhere

I Dumb Life Dumb

I hate everything,I'm ugly and I have paranoid schizophrenia my life has always sucked I recall no pleasant memories i had a terrible childhood my father smoked crack and would leave for extended periods when he was home he would beat the shit out of me as did my mother she was also so very cold and emotionless. I've never had friend in my life.I never get to leave my house because my dad won't let me,this has resulted in major social anxiety a trip to the doctor or grocery store or whatever almost always results in a panic attack and I have no education I admit that is my fault for dropping out of school due to anxiety and depression I could have stuck it out .I'm such a loser I have no goals or anything to look forward to, I am always completely alone but that's fine I hate everyone any way I've spent the last 4 years laying in my bed & crying I should be in college or working but here I am: 19 in my parents house wishing I had the balls to kill myself. I used to collect vinyl records to pass the time and give me something to do but I don't care anymore it was just a waste of money,And I'm very embarrased I cared so much about a first press KING TUFF LP or whatever the fuck none of it matters life is so pointless,stupid and gross I'm a loser cry baby

shit happend

So why does my life suck, im bout to be 22 pretty much had to raise my self growing up I was abused by my step father cause I wasnt his son.. I grew up in disfunctional family always had money problems my father was addicted to alcohol and cocaine always beat for no reason my would try and protect me but would never could... When I was 6 I had to watch my mother beat like a man cause she didn't have money for beer I remember sitting there crying as she mopped up her own puddle of blood.. Going to school never had money for clothes anythin tht but hey no one said life would be fair butt yet didn't think out was this hard, use to sit and wish someone would Judd take me away... Whn I in my teens I stated having panac attacks had so my stress and nerves didn't know wht to do, poetry much my life has sucked, butt for some reason I feel I have to bottle it all in and it hurts cause no one knows the pain behind the mask they just see me i'm always laughing trying put my front on I live a lonely life but try and never show out..i'm a real deterring person always hoeing for the best but expecting the worst...

When will I ever be happy.

My life was always pretty lonely. I didn't have many friend my mom would always cry because everytime she picked me up from school I was hanging out alone. That situation sort of improved as I got older, I was still sort of a loner but I hung out with people more. At 16 I started developing depression but I wasn't aware of what was going on. I made friends with this girl who had schizoaffective disorder, and we remained friends until my first year of college. Right around the time of graduation I started developing hypochondria. It started getting really really bad I had to go to the hospital for a panic attack I went to many doctors who all said I was perfectly healthy even though I felt like I was dying. Everytime I get sick now I start panicking that I have a really terrible disease. Anyway back to the friend,she and I became really close but then I started seeing her true colors. At the time she was suicidal and very emotional and she used to drive me crazy. She would text me call me and I would spend hours everyday trying to console her on the phone. It was so exhausting and it really worsened my stress. After my first year of college we fought constantly and never talked since. Throughout college I was depressed and tired because I was lonely and stressed. These days my hypochondria is still really bad, and my depression has gotten worse. I'm lonely, I have great friends and great family, but I feel so lonely. I've never had a boyfriend/no first kiss, never done much because I live at home. I feel so pathetic.

trying to keep it together

well im not sure were to start, but i have being suffering from ocd depression anxiety since i was a kid, it all started when i was 6, i grew up in a shit hole of a town i had a fight with dis kid then after that i was bullied daily for 4 years till we moved i was afraid to leave the house or go to school with out getting beat up or tormented even when i did fight back it continued and i just rember thinkin how can dis happin to a six or 7 years old how couldnt the parents stop it,i couldnt sleep at night or be left in the dark u realise now 20 years later that was the first start of my general anxietythen we finally moved house it was the happiest day of my life it was ok for a few months then my ocd kicked in,i still remember the i got a disturbing tought in my head that if i sold my soul to the devil in my mind it would happen i stared to do rituals to distract my self i couldnt get the thought of my head i finally told my parents after months of mental tourture and panic and they never brought me to see a doctor, i was only 10 years old after that i just pretending it wasnt happening even though dis thought were tearing me apart night and day,a 10 year old dosent know wtf ocd is they just think i better not tell anybody even though it was affecting me, and then the bulligg stared again nearly i dentical to what happened years before but now 10 times worse they guy that was bully mestared hanging out with my fdriends turned them against me i was beated up on the way t...

life seems impossible

I feel like giving up, it doesn't matter no one cares about me, they all hate me, they would all watch me die and do nothing.I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for the most part of my life and I now know that i'll never be accepted in society because I'm gay, the worse part is that everyone wonders why I have social anxiety and critise and judge me constantly. I can never have friends be around people they dont want to be around me, I'm just so tired, it's no one's fault just my destiny, maybe I am suppose to commit suicide. I cant go to school or work because of my social anxiety, am I suppose to live off my hard working parents? I admit defeat life is for the living, I have been dead a long time ago. I feel like I have to do the honourable thing there is just no point anymore. I will try goin to therapy and not give up.