|Posted by anonymous at May 30, 2012|
I am almost 31 years old. I have never had a relationship that lasted over a year and a half. I have been dogged out by men over the years so much. It hurts because all I want is someone to love me just as much as I love them. My past experiences keep me from being able to trust anyone. Its hard to stay in a relationship because I get so paranoid thinking that the person I'm with will just end up treating me like the rest did. I suffer from PTSD and I have two children who have autism. Life is very hard for me. When I was younger I was abused by my aunt and both my parents were on drugs. I ended up in state custody, living in shelters and foster homes. I always look for love in the wrong places. I have made a lot of choices that I regret and am ashamed of. Everyday is a struggle...I smoke weed to help me forget about my loneliness sometimes but I know that is not the right thing to do. I am so emotional and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I just want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with....it seems like that will never happen. After all of my failed relationships I feel like giving up. I have a lot of issues that I am dealing with. I know my story is not as bad as most of the stories I have read but I know someone out there can identify with what I am feeling. I don't have any friends...I am in the house all day everyday because I am always so anxious. I really do not know what to do. I have stopped caring about my appearance as much as I used to. My family does not understand me so I cannot go to them without them judging me. I look all around and see all of these couples who seem to be so happy an in love. It makes me wonder what is wrong with me? Maybe it's because I am flat chested and do not have a big butt. That seems to be what everyone likes. I have heard that I am beautiful or pretty but I do not feel it. I am in tears now...I just don't know what do do anymore.
|Posted by anonymous at May 28, 2012|
I'm 33 now... I have no job because of illness... However, what hurts me the most is that i never knew love in my entire life... I never had a girl friend and it hurts like hell... My father committed suicide when I was 22, now, almost twelve years later, I think of doing the same... My life sucks and loneliness is killing me... I can't bear to feel this any longer... People say things will get better for me, but I've heard this for so many years that I don't believe in this anymore... I've tried to be happy, I've tried to help others whenever I could, but now I've had defenitely enough of this shitty lonely life in this shitty world... I don't know if my English is still very good, it's been a long time since I last went to school and I'm from Holland... I just long for peace...
|Posted by tim at May 28, 2012|
Im an older guy, late 20's and as i sit here, im just filled with so much sadness, I cant explain the feeling but its like im all alone. I am all alone. I dont have alot of friends, no one calls me or txt me. I come home from work and i just sleep all day, get up the next day and repeat the cycle. At work i have to really fight not to break down. I just feel like iv lost so much. I guess it just comes from not feeling like im important to anyone. People that told me that they loved me and would be there for me left me. My best friend who i never thought would hurt me did. My family..there so far away i cant see them so i have no support. Its just me here. I had a thought the other day that maybe i really am going to die alone and it sucks to say that because i really am a great person. Im not bad looking at all, i treat everyone with respect, im a lovable guy. If the people i socialize with at work really knew how i felt theyd be shocked, because i put on a perfect front. Im just scared because i feel myself slipping into destructive behavior such as alcohol and drugs which ive started. I dont know where to find happiness. I pray to god but no one answers.
|Posted by orlandoguy36 at May 26, 2012|
I am alone. I have been seperated for 6 years. I get my daughter every weekend but the rest of the time I wake up, work, come home and watch tv till I fall asleep. I know it isn't as bad as most of you but I can't help the oppressive loneliness I feel. I've tried online dating, chat rooms, etc but can't get past the seeming falseness of people. I feel it isn't healthy for my daughter but I don't know how to change this. I don't see how this will change anytime soon. I think I'm destined to be alone forever.
|Posted by Cupcake_sprinkles at May 26, 2012|
OK most people may think, Iv'e got my whole life to live... im 21.
BUT, Iv'e been to college, iv'e got two diploma's in art, and yes, yet again, most people may think that's more than alot of people. Iv'e been UNEMPLOYED for over 3 years.
I have no friends. I barely speak to anyone, and im really insecure.
I have a bf who has ADHD, he barely listens to me, neither do his family.
They seem so volatile.
I live in an area, where its hard to make friends, i have so called "friends" online, but that's where i spend my days... online. Never out in the real world, with people!
I feel so empty.
Noone ever wan't to socialise with me, im quiet, it takes me a while to trust a person, but, surely that's normal? right?
Most days im stuck at home, alone. Online, just wasting my days away...
i know that nothing will ever change until i do.
But how can i!?
I've got noone to talk to.
My family barely call, and when they do they barely speak to me much.
I don't know how to cope anymore
|Posted by n.r at May 25, 2012|
I am 46 and never married . All of my life I longed finding my soulmate , a good and logical man , but simply I was not lucky enough .I have tried to work and be indipendant .
But I live in a country that the quality is not important .
I lost my father . Then I lost my job . And as it was not enough I was victim of a fraud by someone who pretend that had some romantic feeling toward me and made me pay all of my saving to him . I can never forgive myself . I have been so fool
Now I am jobless , pennyless and alone .
Is anyone know a way for countinuing life ?
I know that I will never give up , I will try to find a well paid job and I should pay my debts . I owe it to my good friends who helped me through that hard time that I need money .
But I do not know How I can find a Good job for a travel agent abroad and How I can get work visa ?
Is there any one know it ???
|Posted by IAmCalamity at May 24, 2012|
Everything is falling apart around me! Everything! I don't know how to explain this, I don't know what to write. But everything is receding into blackness, my loves, my hopes, my self. This must seem ambiguous, but I don't have the energy to put very much effort into an explanation, except to say that my family is utterly in ruins, my friends are becoming fewer and farther between, the gap between me and society -- the ephemeral chatter of society -- is widening (still!), and I have given up all hope of ever finding love, of any kind or for any length of time -- this is no hyperbole, I see this now as a harsh reality; hope -- hope for love, for acceptance, for understanding -- hope would now require an enormous feat of intellectual dishonesty.
I am alone, I have always been alone, I will remain to be alone -- that much seems absolute. What prospects am I faced with? An endless nothingness without any point of reference; thought has killed conviction.
And you -- you high and mighty arbiters of what is and isn't pain -- judge this all you may, but you can't unsee it!
Disaster, isolation, neglect, lovelessness, hopelessness -- I must not only accept my circumstances, I must love them; if I can not do this, I am lost. To be exalted by nothingness, to be fulfilled by it, to be able to stare into an abyss and roar with laughter -- that would be a magnificent act!
|Posted by Em at May 22, 2012|
I've always had a hard time getting and keeping freinds. I'm not the most extroverted person and it takes a really long time for me to become comfortable with people and feel like I really have a friend. I'm a junior in highschool and this year has been the worst ever since my supposedly best friends started to ignore me. We met in eigth grade and from then on we always hung out and I was able to become really comfortable with them. It was the longest I had managed to keep hold of a freindship, most of them ending after about a year. Its not that I want them to end! Everyone just seems to leave me. So junior year started and I felt great about having 3 friends that I could tell everything to aand new the real me. Then all of a sudden they starte to ignore me. No more chatting in the hallways, or hanging out after school. Every time I tried to approach them they gave me a dirty look, and after a while I just stopped trying. Now I'm alone again and severly depressed. Why does everyone I grow attached to leave me? Its been like this since I was in kindergarten and I hoped the past few years had changed that trend. But now its happened again. I'm afraid of trying anymore. In the end, they just leave.
|Posted by anonymous at May 21, 2012|
Nobody knows me, nobody cares, nobody listens, nobody stares. I feel like I don't exist, I feel like I'm not even here. When I talk to people, they do not. When I help people, they do not. So basically I'm just a human male, in a inhuman world. Living in an planetary zoo, and no one knows that I'm alone...
|Posted by anonymous at May 19, 2012|
Ive just turn 18 and tonight i'm prteey much sat in my bed crying, my life sucks. I am in college and at first i tought things would finally work out for me after i've finished high school but no, i keep crying myself to sleep, i keepfeeling this pain in my chest. I honestly believe that i'm gonna die alone and that scares the shit out of me. I know i can't keep a friendship or anything like that. I spend the most part of my time in home alone. I just wish i could have someone to talk to and to tell me that everything would be ok but instead of that i try my best to cry in silence so my family wont notice that i'm crying in the dark.
I need help, i'm not okay, but no one notices how bad i am so i just wake up every morning and pretend that everything is alright, i fake a smile and keep with my life. I like college because it keeps me busy, so busy that i can't think about my pain. But when friday arrives i stay in my room alone and all i can think is how fucking lonely i am and that is so painful.
I'm tired, so tired, it aint even fair.
I just wish someone could hug me and say that i'm gonna be alright, but no one will ever do it.
|Posted by CHRISTINA at May 18, 2012|
i know how it feels to be completely alone. I was adopted when i was younger into a family of about 10 kids who are nothing like me no one anywhere is like me no matter how hard i look. I work so much almost everyday to barely be able to pay my bills and not even able to save anything i'm also in school, paying rent to my mom and her bum ass husband lol and i never get a single break. and the one person who made things seem just a little bit ok well she's gone and I cant find anyone like her. i have depression and mood swings and I cant afford health insurance i really can't afford anything so I can't go to therapy and get better so I had to let her go, because im too fucked to be around anyone right now its the hardest thing in the world letting her go and it kills me inside everyday but i know its for the best. i wish i could just run away so bad leave all these people who mean nothing to me and they so called friends in the dust i mean they probably wouldn't even notice i was gone honestly no one really checks up on me. i should just die
|Posted by anonymous at May 18, 2012|
I'm trying to find a job. I have anxiety and I really am trying hard to get over that. But I'm afraid and my stomach hurts so much after every interview. And I need the money for college. PS I'm not from America. I feel lonely, I have friends, but none of them really get me...my being...the passion I have for life..the emotions..everything. Shit happens but you get over it. So as the time goes by, you are left with yourself to rely upon, on everything. So I sit inside and read books, watch studio ghibli movies, read more books. When the weather is nice I sometimes go out by myself. I have friends, well, 3 friends and the rest are acquaintances. One "friend" is an asshole and abusive. The other is full of drama. The third one is good, but still doesn't get me. I know others don't have even one and would wish what I have, I'm just not contempt with this. Should I accept these dysfunctional relationships or should I say I want something better? When something bad happens to me I get over it. And then..I'm left with nothing. All those feelings, you know, those meaningful things, things so important you could die for them. I don't think they exist. It's just imagination. That doesn't even bother me. Before I had hope. And no, this isn't something out of the blue, I've been feeling like this for a looong time. But what can I do? Except complain? Can I change this? I've met new people, everybody I've met is superficial. So I'm alone inside again, I'll just go and read...There ar...
|Posted by anonymous at May 17, 2012|
Why is it that my life has turned out the way it has. I tried to be a good person and all I get in return is a shitty life. There's so many reasons why life sucks. Why did I leave school, why do I isolate myself from people when theyre getting to close, why doesnt anything good last forever ! I've isolated everyone so much that they all hate me. I have no friends, no boyfriend, no school, no work, no career path no direction in life. I have so much hate inside of me ! Why me ! I want everybody to leave me alone and I wana be anorexic again but this time I won't let anyone get in the way, at least when I was sick I had a routine, confidence, skinny body, friends, a job, my course . Why did they ruine everything I was doing so well until they gave me food ! But this time I won't let them I'm stronger now they can't trick me. I won't be happy till I'm as light as a feather.
|Posted by Hater01 at May 17, 2012|
First, My job is a freaking nightmare. I was attacked (physically) at work. Nothing ever happened to the person who did it despite me having witnesses. I trusted the wrong people. A month later, I was transferred within the company and I can't meet my bills. Enter debt collectors.
Second, The man I have been seeing for 4+ years has fallen off the face of the earth. I have absolutely no idea why or what's going on. No calls, no texts, nothing despite trying to contact him.
Third - Menopause. Need I say more?
Last? Family. I know they mean well, but I wish they'd just leave me alone. They are all so happy with their lives and I'm glad they are, but I'm sooo sick of having to tell the same story over and over and over again. I'm tired of hearing "It'll get better" when it isn't. The s*it just keeps piling up with no end in sight. My kids are they only thing that keeps me going although I'm pretty sure they'd be better off without me. There's nothing worse than being a burden on everyone.
Friends are non existant.
|Posted by Inside Force Field at May 16, 2012|
When I was a teenager, I kinda knew that, when I got older, stuff would hurt less. Now I'm 54, been all alone my whole life, but I really don't hurt as much anymore. Over the years, I've squeezed all of the tears and pain possible out of myself, now I just sit here alone, and do nothing, and feel nothing. Not even numb, "numb" is a feeling. I'm just here. I'm looking forward to this unbelievably long thing called "life" to be over, I'll admit that.
When I was a teenager, I fell in love with someone. It goes without saying that she did not love me. This was the first of hundreds of such experiences I had ... never had one in which my love was reciprocated. Her name was Shoshanna. After she made it clear that I was rejected and that that wasn't going to change, I decided that the most loving thing I could do for her was disappear, and never again do anything to remind her that I exist. That was 35 years ago. Through those decades, when I've lain alone in bed every night, I've thought of her and felt good that I wasn't making her unhappy by intruding into her life.
It was never in the cards that someone would love me. But, even though she doesn't know (and mustn't), every day I know that I'm doing the most loving thing I can towards her by letting any trace of memory she has of me grow ever dimmer. I made her unhappy and hopefully she could no longer remember me even with reminding. This is pathetic but it's what I hold on to.
|Posted by anonymous at May 16, 2012|
Coming up my family and I never shared a great emotional connection. My father was and still is an alcoholic who loved to always show that he was the alpha male. My 2 brothers, my sister, and I did whatever we could to stay out of the house. As a result we never developed a personal relationship as siblings. I'm 21 years old presently and even now I can't talk to my siblings on a personal basis. I have numerous friends but I can't even talk to them about things. Black males don't tend to go in-debt about their emotional issues with their boys, its considered too soft. I'm a good looking guy and had numerous girlfriends in high school. My sophomore year in college I began a new relationship with a girl I met through my sister. We dated for a year and a half before I got her pregnant. I remember her calling me crying saying " what are we going to do" and I comforted her. After all the tears I put the ball in her court. I told her she could keep the child or get rid of the child and that I would support her either way. Around this same time she was about to travel several states away for an entire year to stay with her grandparents several due to family issues. She ended up convincing me that she wanted to have the child. She started attaching personal attachment to the baby. She picked out names, referred to the child as a child and not "it," etc. I even told my family I was expecting to have a son. Long distance tested our relationship and we argued a lot. ...
|Posted by anonymous at May 14, 2012|
Why am i always crying on my bed? When i come home upset, with awful thoughts in my head, we just leave wiv a goodbye, theres no love, no warmth inside, just pure hatred. u look at me with disgust as u turn ur back an walk away slowly, my eyes fill up with tears as I feel so lonley, I gasp to say a single word, it hurts to even speak, Whats left of me tries to stay strong but I fail because my heart is so weak, I dont know where i belong, the only place I know, is in your arms. I just want to be loved, accepted, cared for, appreciated, put me first above everything an everyone, be the most beautiful girl u ever seen, be proud of me. But u donít see me like that at all, u see me as one big failure, sorry im not perfect.
|Posted by confused at May 13, 2012|
When I wake up early, I feel an overpowering loneliness, so I force myself to go back to sleep. I dream and when I wake up for the second time, I feel better.
When the sun sets, the loneliness returns.
No one can help me. They are vacuous creatures with whom I cannot connect, and I try, desperately. Desperately.
I try to help them help me. It hasn't worked out too well; I cross the line and start with accusations.
I am angry, and bitter, and resentful that they can't reach. I think they do not want to; I do not know if I am right or wrong. It does not matter. They have let me down and continually disappoint me.
I need to meet people... but I don't know how. I don't want to be rejected, and I refuse to pretend.
I don't even feel I have a right to feel this way... doesn't stop me.
Maybe... if I embrace what I'm feeling... but what do I do when loneliness descends and has me in its grip? I can't find solutions then. I feel trapped within walls that are closing in.
What's going on with me??!!
|Posted by nobody at May 13, 2012|
I'm 25 years old. I haven't had a boyfriend or even a boy who cared about me in 5 years. I don't even have any friends. I ask people to hang out but they always have an excuse why they can't and then they put on Facebook that they are bored and does anyone want to do something. People at work complain about having to work with me too. I'm a really nice, sweet, careing person, but people don't like me. I spend every day of my life at work or at home on the couch. I live alone because (of course) no one wants to live with me. I eat dinner alone, celebrate holidays and birthdays alone, take vacations alone, I even ring in the new year alone on my couch. I have 2 sisters. My younger sister has too many friends then she knows what to do with. She never has a free minute because she is always with her friends. My older sister has a lot of friends too but she also has the sweetest most careing husband. They just had their first baby. They have this perfect little life and I have my couch to sit on. My parents say they don't have a favorite child but it's obvious that I'm at the bottom of the list even though they are the closest things to friends I have. My mom seems irritated when I call her because I don't have something I need to talk to her about. I just call because most days if I don't talk to her I won't end up saying a word all day becuase I have no one else to talk to. She even said the other day that she would rather my older sister live right down th...
|Posted by Helli at May 13, 2012|
My only friend is a sociopath. She hurts me a lot but I'm afraid to leave. I am scared to be completely alone it seems even more painful than being abused by her. I think about killing myself but I'm afraid to hurt my sister who is leaving oversees. It will brake her for sure...