| | Posted by anonymous at April 10, 2012 |
18 year old girl .Was raised in a wealthy household with three brothers. I pretty much raised myself because my parents were never home! I was no good at making friends and always kept my thoughts and feeling to myself.My parents always bought us things or took us on expensive trip but even on the trips they would be on the phone talking about business. They got divorced when i was 15 and things got even worse! I saw my dad less and less and then not at all. He had got remarried and moved on with his life and left is only daughter behind. My mother also got remarried and married another fairly wealthy man, who was always on business trips. Both of my parents were dead before i graduated from high school. I RATHER BE POOR AND STRUGGLING AND ALWAYS BEING WITH MY PARENTS THAN WEALTHY AND LONELY! Money doesn't bring you happiness just pain. |
| | Posted by anonymous at April 9, 2012 |
I have read a lot of stories and it made my problem smaller and smaller. And I’m happy for that. I can find strength in the stories of other people and the solutions for my problems in the stories of other people.
The stories I have read here breaks my heart. It’s unbelievable how some people can have such a horrible life. I just want to take you in my arms and drag you away from the situation you are in. Built a house and have you and your loved ones live in it in safety and free of worry.
There are a lot of situations I have no experience in whatsoever, but I will try to cheer you up as best as I can.
As hard as you might try to deny it, there are tons of things that is good about you. Just reach deep down there. Things you might not notice at first. That you wave at dismissively. Because there are so many qualities people do have and tons of qualities people don’t have and wish they had. So if you have found a quality, then I just want you to know: tons of people wish they had that quality. And you have it!
So you’re good at writing stories? Believe it or not, not everybody has got a rich imagination and you should cherish that talent.
So you’re a good listener? That is something this site needs and a lot of people appreciate you!
Believe that you will get out of your situation. Set up a goal you want to reach and try to think of the best path to reach it. Dare to hope. I find it so much easier to live from goal to goa... |
| | Posted by Distraught All The Same at April 9, 2012 |
I know and can imagine the sadness, disappointment, and insurmountable odds you all feel. I am well experienced at such things. Since I was about 3 I can recall weaving in and out of these feelings due to many circumstances like are expressed here from abuse to the suicides in my family. And currently, this is despite the three drugs my 4th psychiatrist has concluded works best. I try to think the following each day and I hope you can do the same:
Suicide only transfers your pain & sorrow geometrically (to those that know and care for you).
Tomorrow is not as bad as it seems (Billy Joel).
God is cruel but his cruelty is refining (Stephen King).
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| | Posted by fu at April 8, 2012 |
People need to realise that suicide is not the right decision. Life is worth living. Most of the people after hearing my story say that I am a really strong person. I don't know if I'm strong, I'm just happy that my past is over. From my 13th to my 16th year I've had the most terrible childhood ever. My mentally sick dad was sexually abusing me in front of my mom's eyes. Then my mom died. He got arrested. I haven't seen him till then and I don't want to. I went to live at my aunt's house. She accepted me, but I was like a slave for her. I was bullied at school, not only by my school mates, even by teachers. I was broke inside. Nobody loved me. I hated people so much. I was cutting ofcourse, I've had anorexia and one day I woke up in the hospital. I could've had a heart attack at any moment. I couldn't wait for that. I wanted to die so desperatly but I wasn't brave enough to kill myself. Somehow the doctors saved my life. I was in a big depression and I was bipolar. I shaved my head and I went out late night and just scream until I fall asleep on the street. My aunt didn't want to have anything with me so she sent me to a mental hospital. I stayed there for 2 years. You can't imagine how hard it was for me. When I got out my nerves got in place for a little. I didn't have anywhere to go. I was sitting on the street all night and I would cry myself out until I fall asleep. I didn't have anything to eat. I've had no choise, I had to go back to my aunt. I went there and I beg... |
| | Posted by Meow! at April 8, 2012 |
Humans are a pathetic Race. I hate that I am Human.
Humans are such a pathetic race. We take the best of anything and crush it, manipulate it and use it and abuse until there is nothing left and still, we are jealous and envious and want more. Nothing is ever enough.
We are all just a bunch of chemical reactions, occurring to ensure species survival. Live your life and try not to waste too much so we can all enjoy the short time we have. Once it's gone, that's it. Believe what you want, but this is the Real Truth, the Meaning of Life.
I hate that I am a human, but I don't want to be any other creature either. I hate that I am able to think and I wish that I was born ignorant. Ignorance is bliss??? Is it??? I wish my brain processes and memories were never born. I hate how ungrateful I am. I am in a first world country, I would Love to give my life for someone more deserving (like in a 3rd world country) Maybe I am stupid. The world is at my doorstep in a first world country, and I'm too depressed and caught up in the fact that I have a bad back, and stuffed knees and allergies to everything, sick all the time, in agony all the time to get over myself and try to make the most of life. But then, 3rd world country people are human too. Given money, they too, just like successful 1st world country people would become corrupt and abuse the system and want more.
We are overpopulated. For goodness sake. Why the hell are people everywhere, inc... |
| | Posted by M&M at April 7, 2012 |
Seen Fight Club? If you haven't, do. That is what this website feels like, in a good way and bad way. Just breezing through because I feel like shit, then seeing others with similar shit. Then seeing others with deeper shit. All I know is reading through all this shit and talking about my shit makes my shit a little less shitty. Life rolls up and down, you just have to hang on. You have to sometimes say "Fuck it, I am about to lose 90% of what I think my life consist of, of that 90 I wanted to lose 80 anyway, then the 10% that remains you can really begin to rebuild. I say this, I'm not doing this. The first step in all of this is deciding if your (I am) ready to throw most of it away. I am almost positive that if I could, I would do a trial separation. 6 months needed, a year wanted. I would love to have some time and some space to see what I feel as far as my mate relationship. I can clearly recall in the beginning when it didn't feel right, but I thought may judgments were off and I needed to grow up and pick wisely. Wisely doesn't hold you at night, wisely does protect but at what cost? So now here I sit, built up questions, aggression, and so many other things that build up year after year. Life's obligations. Predictions of life - that I can't do it on my own and what if I need to just stay here. I think if I could leave, even for a bit maybe he'd see? Maybe if I left I would see. Do we all have too hi of standards? There are some standards that seem very basic to me, that if you deprive of others expect all to fall apart. |
| | Posted by sadmomma at April 2, 2012 |
My 6 year old son is severely disabled and legally blind. He has cerebral palsy. They have no idea what caused it and say that I didn't do anything to cause it. His brain is just...not right. He's like a 5 month old baby: can't sit up or crawl or scoot, can't walk, can't talk, can't feed himself,wears diapers, has trouble holding up his head, and has to be tube-fed.
The ironic thing is that when he was born I was constantly thanking God that he was healthy (we didn't know about the cerebral palsy until he was 6 months old). I hated my job with a passion, but I would say to myself, "Quit complaining about your job. You have a healthy child...there are people out there who have children with health problems and disabilities. You are so lucky he is healthy!" He wouldn't sleep and was incredibly collicky, but I kept on counting my blessings that I had a healthy son. Well, God is cruel.
He will never run around, have real friends, have a girlfriend, read, speak, swim, ride a bike, etc etc etc. I can't stand it. I'm so sad for him that at times I can barely function. I feel like a worthless piece of crap because I don't think I provide enough stimulation for him because I'm so lacking in energy.
I have always had depression, even as a child. I take medication and see a therapist, so I make it day-to-day, but I'm often on the edge of suicide. My doctors advised me to take prozac during the pregnancy..they said that it wouldn't cause ... |
| | Posted by Cool Breeze at March 31, 2012 |
I was once upon a time I was a Billionaier.But I believe in everbody, to be on my side.But never beleive in myself,only in my so call friends to se me thought.But family was there when I had money,and when I did'nt have money my family was there .I gave millions to family and friends.So let my tell my story.Everybody expect so much from me.I got into realestate and made a fortune.I had over a million homes in my possion.But made bad business with the wrong people ,that I though that was my friends.They took my business from me .They fame me saying that the business was not mine.So I loss everything. My 40 million dollar home.My bentlys and my mercedezs and my rollsroyces .So I live on the street as a bum,but once I had it all.So what ever it takes to be the best ,I must not stop,but pick myslf up and start all over again.If I have a nother chance, I would choose a better choice of friends. |
| | Posted by Rangeen at March 31, 2012 |
Though There is a lot to see in my life I find No joy in something exciting. There is no specific reason why i hate my life so much. I have Tasted all - The sweet and the sorrow. I have been loved by my parents and friends in contradiction i have been rejected by people as friend or something else. Love of any kind was something I used to think about when i was 15. But now its like my life is dead. At times I feel so empty that I want to end this life.But I never do So because I am not that strong to kill myself. I just Pray to God to take this life in any way . Its True I want to die. The Reason behind my depression what i infer is - that most of the people around me act in a weird way . This Weird way i cant understand . All I can say is that my faith in God is nothing more than existence.I believe god exists but he wants us to suffer all through. Its like a television show. All I say is That keep your feelings down to yourself . Feelings of Anger hate jealousy are all made by God. where there is love there is jealousy. This is all a vicious circle of God of which we all are part and which is the only depression of this life. |
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| Posted by The Lonliest Stoner at March 29, 2012 |
Not really a story, but my life is in the shitter right now and im a songwriter
And he'll sit back with a smile
drowning inside his heart,
panic takes over
and he blends with his tears
Scared to remember the truth.
and the past that has shaken him
these memories
these memories bring tears
these recollections
these broken dreams and here's,
here's to these broken dreams
This path is all to familiar, as I daydream I,
open my eyes and see that nothings changed
Treachery in my veins is all deserved,
forgiveness lies beyond the line of breathing eyes
what makes me change?
(what brought me here?)
what have i done?
(why am i here again?)
Will this end?
Please just end..
These tears are all to familiar, as I daydream I,
open my eyes and see that nothings changed
Thanks for reading
-David
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| | Posted by smlaa at March 29, 2012 |
Less of a story and more of a rant with some story.
Poor people understand faith as hope. Rich people use faith as justification for their money/success.
I'm poor but faith seems completely ridiculous. Faith in what, that things get better?
I'm lucky to have a job, I'm also miserable. My medical, school and credit card payments are more than I make. My younger brother committed suicide 5 years ago and my mother died soon after from depression. My Dad hides his finances under my tax return to gather social security.
My car starts most of the time but its about done for. My neighbor smokes two packs a day and the central air blows it straight into my apartment. I'm really tall and skinny so clothes don't fit. I have terrible allergies, asthma and indigestion. I physically feel like shit all the time.
I need to keep my job for medication. Otherwise, I'm out of America. Maybe I am anyway. The spend / work cycle insane. I'm 29, I did a financial analysis today.....In 20 years I will break even. So at 50, I'm back to where I started at 18?!? University and Masters was a bad idea.
I bought into this idea of hard work, school, good job. Will this education / debt gamble work? Maybe for some but not everyone. This is where faith comes in. If you believe, you struggle the 20 years. Maybe the cubicle grind works if you don't die from diabetes first.
Right now...I'm thinking, just walk away. Some jackwagon can buy my stu... |
| | Posted by Mister B-Don at March 28, 2012 |
Ok I feel everyones pain and all, but I've come to the conlusion life is suppose to be hard. Everyone shouldn't be born with a silver spoon in there mouthes. I had a hard life and been treated like shit before, but that all that shit just makes you tougher if it doesn't kill you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't bitch and complain and vent about it but it is what it is. I'm almost 26 years old and shit has been hectic, but shit life is suppose to be a challenge everything shouldn't be handed to you on a silver platter. You got to get in where you fit in. Feeling sorry for yourself will get you no where fast. I'm poor and struggling on disability with little to no support, but there's no reason to cry about it and feel sorry for yourself. I work every chance I get, but that's life nothing is gonna go your way all the time. You just gotta deal with the cards you were dealt and make the best out of a fucked up situation. I'm no angel I've done some stupid shit that I regret but hey who hasn't? Your parents don't give a shit about you? Tough shit the way it goes. Your family act you don't exist? Tough shit the way it goes. I'm spiritual and I believe everyone should suffer like Jesus Christ suffered for us. It's time for certain people to suck it up and realize life is a challenge. Everyone that's rich ain't happy and peaceful shit most of them rich snobby assholes are on there way to hell anyway. Life is what you make of it in a twisted sort of way. Yeah you don't get to ch... |
| | Posted by Knickerbocker3 at March 28, 2012 |
Seriously i mean it. I was talking to my friends the other day and convinced her to tell me a secret she'd been hiding for a long time. Turns out she cuts herself. My best friend has been self harming for over a year and i had no idea! And then i got into this depressing mood and started thinking bout all my friends lives and how everyones lives are so fucked up. Someone i know got kidnapped when they were little by their own dad, another person's sister died as a baby, another one got abandoned by her dad and then her mum developed some serious mental issues, and i personally got beaten up by my step-dad. Sorry, there really is nothing constructive or happy about this story, i just needed to vent. Sorry for making anyone depressed. Anyways.... bye. |
| | Posted by Glen Anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
I have two bottles of liquor in my backpack. One is a very good single malt scotch. The other, a cheap bottle of vodka. They're not a full fifth. About a pint each. Unopened. Untouched.
With my hiking back strapped to my back, and when the din of the road has quieted, you can hear the liquid slosh against the containers, one glass, one plastic. I have heard them almost every evening for the past three years.
They're there to remind me of my final decision, the final choice that I am just about to make.
Whether I live or I die.
Instead of dramatics, let me say if you're reading this, then my decision was made. I've likely opened the bottle of vodka, found a quiet, relatively peaceful perch against a tree somewhere hard to see beyond the blacktop of America's highways, and drank the clear liquor down while swallowing pill after pill of Nembutal. Within a half hour, I will be a corpse. I'm guessing my body won't be discovered until after I'm bones, which will likely give me the most serious attention anyone has paid me in years when the police find them.
The scotch I carried with me for celebration, a toast to victory if I managed to scrap through this tribulation. That's not going to happen now. After this last employment rejection (the big one, the real one, the one that would've changed my life finally), I have come to the conclusion that Darwin is indeed right. And I am just not strong enough, desi... |
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| Posted by anonymous at March 25, 2012 |
Life is becoming a troublesome, empty shell of nothing for me. I don't know where to start, I work at a shitty place under shitty management, my family has disowned me years ago. My parents abused me since I could remember, I didn't know I had a brother until I was 16, who I met randomly while he says "hey, ****, how are you, I'm your brother." I can never sleep, I have social anxiety in extreme levels, I'm always worried about what will happen to me and this "closet" of mine that I live in. I have no friends due to my social problems, Im always depressed and lonely, I'm under a mountain of debt. Last "girlfriend" I can remember just used me for everything. I feel alone and scared.
I just don't know what's going to be next. I've always wanted a family that I can call a family. Not some broken down, secretive, backstabbing people who think your garbage.
I've read alot of posts on here that are heartbreaking, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone. If your reading this at 7am, still awake from 2 days ago, just remember, your not alone. Far from it. My heart goes out to all of you who are striving for the best. May god be with us all. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 25, 2012 |
How pointless life is.. People come and go, people who've you've learned the same material with, people who know what the fuck your going through. But no one asks, no one says.. "perhaps he has something to say"... But your body fucks you over, and if you are one of those people who understand where im coming from.. fuck it! Thats where it starts.. and it should spit into a psychologist's therapy session. It should all. You shy motherfuckers what the fuck was shyness before the agricultural revolution.. It was non existent--now it is a psychological condition!!! Fuck me! A psychological condition.. to be afraid to talk to your fellow monkey beings. I mean it doesn't make sense. You need them!But such an overbearing social construct! It makes you, let me tell you, evolutionar-ly stupid! I say fuck this nation! It fucks us over incessantly, without even trying, and then, in the end, i'm subdued to one of its "psychological conditions" if in the first place my "condition" wouldn't exist if it weren't for this fucked up society. It sucks when the patterns of your brain place you somewhere. But don't think i have no respect for you "strongest of the fittest". You guys can adapt beyond me.. And in the fucking ironical end, the human species will be blasted out, but before, the minutes before, there will be an overabundance of socially retarded beings, that during the final supernova of our sun, will have nothing but a tattered "human experience" to die with.. And the "socially select" will enjoy.. But let me say If the fuck you didn't want me then why the fuck did you have me??????????? |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 24, 2012 |
I feel much better now cuz i just cried. Crying is my defense weapon. I can still remember when i was a child i always cry.Thinking back ofmy childhood i feel such funny why i did those stupid things,like I complaint my mom wake me up too late(even its early),Am not satisfied everything (wear cloth,comb hair,take bath...)These things all my mom did for me,thats why am very dependent on my mom.And when i went out if i heared somebody say something i dont like then my tears fell down without any control ,thats not I want,I think cuz am very shy at that time...
After middle school at 15years age,I left home to another place for school,I always be a listening and following girl,i dont have my own idea, but i changed a lot since I studied away from home,the big change is I can control my tears..
Now am farther away from home.Am 23 already and as time flies,the influnce of various factors, my mood fluctuation during these days and Ive been always thinking about life philosophy..Why life is so rough and why alive so tired, I always feel depressed and hate everything around me (include people behavior)... Its late today ,even I still have a lot to say.. I want to know if am really in depressed, hope its natually response not clinic... |
| | Posted by DJ at March 24, 2012 |
I'm a 23 year old male, working and going to school. I am a musician as well to help keep me level, to an extent. My uncle had recently had a stroke a few days ago and underwent brain surgery. He doesn't remember who I am and can't make out his words. I live in Chicago btw. I owe a lot in student loans as well. Your not the only one man. Sometimes I feel like quitting school, sometimes I don't. But I still get up everyday and do the routine. I've been drinking a lot lately too which hasn't helped at all except make me feel I have something to hold onto. We are both young dude and we have to realize that life is only hell if we make it. I don't have a gf, but I constantly get hit on by girls at my work and school. I stopped the whole partying scene and sleeping with women who don't mean anything to me. I've been choking down these tears for the past few days since my uncle has been in the hospital. I live with my mom and she isn't working so all my money goes to the house payments and what I left over for dog food. I have two dogs. It seems like this all came down on me at once and I just want to explode. I lost so many good friends because I could not trust them. I turned to myself and yet it still feels like a burden is on my shoulders. I just think of all the negative things in my life now. Maybe tomorrow will be different but as of now i cant complete a song i've been trying to finish. I'm fed up with the way life is as of now and I think I need to just see the bright... |
| | Posted by work hard at March 23, 2012 |
It is so simple to see that life is a result of a combination of: a) how you look at life and your situation b) how hard you work to get what you want and to make changes c) how well you understand yourself and the pieces you want to change d) how well you bounce back from setbacks and process them in a way that makes us happier, more motivated and more apt to be able to do a), b) and c) above.
Bad things happen in the world, most people are out for themselves and we are not always going to get all we want (no one does). Everyone knows that bad things happen in the world, but we can not dwell on that 24/7 or we will get depressed. Anyone would. It is foolish to dwell on those things then and if we do it is no one`s fault but are own. Also, we can not expect that we are going to find a savior who is going to give us all we want and make our lives the way we want. People have to worry about trying to make their own lives that way. Lastly, we can not expect we will get everything we want, but we can work hard for it, never give up and continue moving forward. That makes you feel better then giving up and we all know that.
Once you give up you get depressed you get less of what you want and you get more depressed and the cycle continues. The way you change things is contine to work hard you will start to see changes and these changes will lead to you feeling better and realizing you have more control then you thought you had and you will start cycling back ... |
| | Posted by Good looking but sad at March 23, 2012 |
Enough is Enough! Hard work Just doesn't cut it any more. There used to be a day where some one could live comfortably by there own means as long as they generated some sort of income. Now you can't walk out side with out pissing away 50 dollars. The Gas is Ridiculous, Prices have gone up on everything including Hair Gel, The economy is shitty unless you were one of the more fortunate who comes from a long line of money/inherited money/ or won the lottery. Usually the greatest inventors and most inspired entrepreneurs come out of depressions/recessions, but how the hell is anyone suppose to be able to do anything these days with out credit??? Jobs don't pay enough!! 8 dollars , 10 dollars, 15 dollars an hour is just not enough to do shit with. There are more couples getting divorced over money and more grown "kids" Stuck at home because they just can't handle more than one thing financially. The worst part about this all is simple this..
In life, we all have different likes, interest, hobbies, talents, etc. We all know the difference in being a physicist and being a garbage man. There is a greater degree of education and intelligence that may go into one career and as a result they are highly compensated for the unique genius or specific hard work. But regardless of the differences, both a physicist and a garbage man or a Teacher and a sales clerk used to be able to lead normal independent lives. Both could own their own home if they choose( though one ... |
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