My Dad is such a stupid, fucking idiot. He cheated on my mom (or you could say the whole damn family) by going out with many girls behind our backs and eventually finding one to start a second family with. He's been with her for three years now and has a child with her, and the worst part is, the fucking dumbshit of a "father" decided it would be okay to name his new son exactly what he named me. I fucking hate him. It's like he didn't even bother to acknowledge the fact that his other son had that name, or the fact that he even already had another son another family. He is such a selfish fucking asshole. Even now, he spends all his time with that other fucking SECOND family instead spending time with us. And I think he married her after 3 years and he never married my mom after being with her for 19 years. He used our family as a resource for shelter, food, tv, bathroom, clothes for three fucking years and in my entire lifehe's never emotionally conne ted to me. Hell, we've never had a conversation. He doesn't even send us a little bit of cash to enjoy ourselves (we're poor as fuck) And because of that, my mom is always bitching and complaining about the stupidest shit ever. She turns every little disturbance into a huge fucking deal and in the end blaming me for it and explaining to me how I should be a better person and what I need to fix on myself. Fuck that. The reason I have all these problems is because of them. I blame my parents for everyhing that is wrong with me. It's their fault for not raising me to be the man I'm supposed to be. Hell, my father didn't fucking raise me at all, fucking selfish idiot. And my mom's always treated me sort of like crap and blamed me for the stupidest shit, just like the rest of her side of the family, which probably explains my low self esteem. I always feel like I fuck up. Even when I'm good at something, my temporary dose of pride never lasts. I feel fucking useless. I am a solo singer/songwriter and people always tell me that my stuff is good, like REALLY GOOD. And as much as it makes me happy to hear that, it makes me mad cause I don't believe them because I feel so unworthy of being able to accomplish anything. No one's really ever been there to really encourage me, not even my friends, if I had any. I only have two friends. A immensely awkward blaxican friend and a skinny, super depressed native american/mexican friend. And they're no fucking help whatsoever in anything I do. And I'd like more friends but I fu king hate almost everyone at school. Almost all of them are just a bunch of assholes that I don't need to be around (not like my friends are any better) but at least they aren't as obnoxious and self-pompous as everyone else. And to add to all that, I can't even get a girl, someone I can just connect to on an emotional level. I've been studying books on seduction and social dynamics and they've helped somewhat but its still so fucking hard, cause I want someone who I can relate and talk to. I need someone special. But whatever. Fuck it all.
You know how you feel, have a father who is just as selfish. There is absolutely NOTHING that you can do to make him realise the error of his ways. I know because I've tried everything and if your dad is anything like mine then he'll just find a way to wriggle out of any blame no matter how obvious it is that he should be taking some. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids, but they are and people like you and me are the products. Fuck him. Seriously fuck the cunt. You have to live your life for you, and not for anybody else. I don't talk to my parents any more, and for sure sometimes it can be lonely, but I'd sooner be lonely once in a while than forever angry and arguing with some bastard that isn't even listening.
U can succeed man. Go and succeed in spite of your old man and not because of him like we're supposed to. Be self assured. No matter how it turns out just learn to accept yourself and take pleasure in being self reliant.
My name is Christiana
My dad has another family with 3 freaking kids. My mom is his wife, they got married and he was with the other women for my whole life. He's never home and I often wondered why. That was when I was young. But mom my told me the truth eventually. I hate the fact that my dad is so freaking afraid for the SECOND family to know out existance. He's litterally staying with them now. Whats worst is that he would always tell my mom about how smart and intelligent his other daughters are. What the fuck? Oh and did I mention that I have 3 sisters and 1 brother? Yep. Our family is big enough and he decided to have a second one. Just wow. And the most disgusting part is that my sister was born on Jan 91' and his other daughter was also born on the same month and year. Thats disgusting to me tbh. And just like your mom, my mom has been nagging and blaming everythin on us. Life just sucks sometimes. Fuck life. Fml.
Also, as a christian I will also suggest reaching out to God for help, Jesus is more than willing to give you peace and comfort. He has given me peace that truly trancends understanding. I dont know what your beliefs are or if your an athiest, but atleast think about it. The least I can do for you now is send out a pray for ya, God bless!