LIFE SUCKS

I can't stand it

I hate it even more now,all I could think of is anger and frustration and sadness. I am suffering from major depression and I can't heal myself.i hate where I am now and I hate everything about this country. All my life has been about caring for others Shit! But I'm tired when I'm being taken for granted. Nobody is truthful and honest.Fuck! I've been alone and lonely for as long as I can remember. Why is this life so unfair because it was made unfair for some people. I wonder everyday when will my last day be? I can't stand being here but I have to be here....
I've always hoped for miracles in life but once a blue moon it will arise and I'm thankful for that. Sadly,my life is a hard and depressing ones. People don't understand my frustration or maybe I don't understand myself. I wish to just go farther away from everyone ,I wanna run away to a place where I can start anew. I wish things were better and different... But who am I to change the world when I can't even look at my own dark world.....why was I borned hopeless and a fool when my name bears the meaning of hope.....

My life is unbelievably bad. I am a teacher and most of my coworkers think I'm strange and avoidme so I avoid them. fell in love with a beautiful 16 year old student and I think she was in love with me but we were both too embarrassed to do anything about it. I'm 43 and became obsessed with receiving texts from this student. some flirty, and some cool respones to me. my wife and I have no sex life no children and are arguing all the time. I think the only reason we stay married is just inertia. I don't have any real friends. And I live in a crappy spartment. What truly killed me was seeing the 16 yr old with a boy. Guess she got tired of me. That was incredibly painful. I continue to hope shell text me. Pathetic

im 21. I spent most of my childhood bein abused in the worst kinds of ways. my mother walked out when i was 8. i was homeless at 14, then in and out of care and sleeping on peoples floors till i was 17. i got pregnant by a man twice my age who pressured me into sex and almost a marriage. i found out he was cheating on me with a girl younger than me when i was 18. i have 4 psychiatric disorders because of the abuse i had as a kid. i have spent 3 years in court fighting for custody of my daughter. i have no money, cant keep friends because when im ill no one wants to know. the one person who i truly love doesnt want to know me because im inconveniant to his life. my family dont wanna know. im stuck in a rut and i cant see a way out because my disorders get in the way of everything. So yeah, my life kinda sucks. not as much as some peoples, i know, but still....

I can't help being a dick

Hey guys,
I know this is really gonna piss people off coz I have a great life.....but I keep on fucking it up.
I will break it down for you.
My Dad was a good looking strong, charming and quick witted mother fucker but was not good with women (cause for concern?). My Mum is from a broken home and her mum was apparentally sleeping around a bit. She was really pretty but fat. She grew up in a kids home famous for child abuse.
I have an older sister and an older brother, my sister was Daddys girl and my brother was ignored as a person but given a lot of help with money whenever he fucks up. This has led him to make a fuck load of mistakes and not learning from them. My sister got pregnant at 17 was fucked up for about 10 years but now she's fine.
I have always been ignored by my family and everything I have accomplished is 100% my own doing. My dad was an exceptional goalkeeper and I too showed signs of being a potential pro player. One memory that sticks out the most was me and my Dad drove to a football practice, he looked at the keeper and said "you're too small, you won't get picked" and we drove off again. My brother got a lot of support with his football and I was never shown the same treatment. I got to play semi-pro football in Japan through word of mouth but I lacked the drive or ambition to go to training (that's my own fault).
I was also great at songwriting/poetry from an early age but that was only found out by an excellent teacher that ...

Where Did It All Go Wrong

I have so many regrets. I miss my dead loved ones. I feel like I failed them. I think about the poinys in where it went wrong and there are too many points. Ive never enjoyed my life and when I tried, something bad always happened so I dont try anymore. I sometimes think about.moments where if I was a better version of me, my life would have been fantastic. All those moments I wanted to stay in would have been great if I was able to have been a apart of it. I had and still have so many physical flaws. Once I would fix one, bam! another flaw would appear. Skin, hair, weight, teeth, etc. I even became physically ill and doctors never catch it when Im having my worst days or have an episode. I had to do and still have to do so much to look normal. It never ended when I became a teen now an adult in my late 30s. And i missed so much and it affected my mental health. It also affected my life as if I wasnt this messed up, I would get paid more. I would have finished college. I could have gotten my family out. I have no friends, no relationship in over 12 years. And everyone I knew has moved on with having a life of their own. I live with a parent. I will not have kids to only be a single parent. Im so reprogrammed now that the idea of love makes no sense to me and is too cliche. Thing is, me and my siblings have some foresight gift, but it sucks when you seem to cant change anything. Or like when my bro dreamed his death while in operation and wouldnt tell us as he became more erratic afterwards. Sad thing is, so did me and his mom, but we couldnt change it. Its so unfair. It was so violent. I really hate my life and I cant seem to change that Im doomed. Maybe thos affected my family. Maybe i wasnt helping by staying to help financially. I dont know. I just hate this.

I'm a Wigger

Hi Everyone,

My name is Kris Ryzak. I'm 35 and I'm a white wigga rapper from Alberta.

I wear basketball jerseys and Nike sneakers.

I make 45K a year. I never went to college.

The problem is, is that I've been rapping for 20 years and nothing has happened.

I tried. Jah knows that I tried.

I just can't accept that I'm a 35 year old wigga makin 45K a year, living in a basement suite.

I have other issues but I can't go into them here.

Venting Tool

I am horribly lonesome yet I am disgusted by most and completely dismissive. I have occupied my loneliness with work to distract myself but it is not the same. I know I need somebody and want somebody but nobody qualifies. What a catch 22. I really don't think I just have walls up to protect myself as I am holding on to the idea that someday somebody worthy will come along...I just get impatient I suppose and cross my fingers that I do not grow old and alone...but even then, refuse to settle.

Genetics and being stupid

NOTE: I AM A GIRL!
Since the 5th grade my life has been going down hill with my body due to my genetics. When I was 10 years old they pulled out my baby teeth and told me I had to get teeth implants. I wore braces for 8 years because I didn't have three real adult teeth. My cousin is going through the same thing right now.

Then my hair starts to fall out when I was 10 years old and I don't have alopecia areata or alopecia universalis. I have female pattern baldness. Found a photo of my grandfather's first cousin and she had female pattern baldness too. Woo.

When I was 12 I felt a horrible pain and I refused to go to the doctor. I finally went and I found out I have a slip disc pinching my nerve. Months later I go back and they said I have a spine fracture. Great...

For years I suffered with seizures, but I didn't know they were seizures. I had never heard of complex partial seizures until I had enough with them. They bother me so much. I don't even have a brain tumor. This one isn't really genetic. I have no idea what's wrong with me.

I had horrible acne for about 4-5 years. I went vegan and I stopped getting pimples. My mother had horrible acne too. She and I suffer with acne scars. I think mine are worse because the acne medicine really burned my face. My mom also said I stopped getting acne because of the birth control pills. I don't know... Makes me question about my hormone levels and female pattern baldness.
I shaved my...

Bad Luck

Well not sure why I'm writing this since I try to be optimistic as much as possible. I'm 36 yr brown hair green blue eyes 6 ft tall avg build and hopelessly lost. I can't get anything right! I've struggled with jobs mostly way below my ability jobs like dishwashing. Even in the simplest tasks it seems I fail in one way or another. These days I live on assistance hardly enough to survive on. I've been single for yrs and very lonely but I understand why women stay away from me. In the last few years I've started takeing opiates like dilaudid and heroin. It seems the only times I don't feel sad is when I'm stoned. I've not totally given up. Like I stated at the begining I'm an optimist so I Vollenteer most days of the week but my sliping enthsiasim is a constant consern. Most of my family has passed away from one thing or another so I don't have anyone to talk to about my issues. Most health care workers just belive its the drugs but I've felt like this since I was young. Where in the world is there a place for me and will I be stuck surrounded by theives and other criminals who value me as a target not a friend.

i hate my life

I married a cheating sneak....even though I had wanted to call of our wedding I didn't want my friends and family to think badly of me..during our honeymoon I found out he was still cheating telling his random internet hookups he was on vacation with his friends..its been 10 years and I still can't trust him and every additional day it kills me slowly....we have a son whom I love and can't leave behind...I hate my life and feel as if I've been put on this earth to just suffer...I was molested by my stepfather as a child and no matter how many "hints" I gave my mom she never got me or she didn't care...at 7 years old I would leave books about telling ur parents with pages folded to certain areas..she never even asked me about it...at 12 I tried killing myself but only ended throwing up (I guess I didn't know how to truly attempt it) at one point I had the courage to tell my uncle what was going on, they decided to have a family meeting on this where my grandmother told me its not a child place to try to seperate their parents.....I hate my life so much I can't wait till its over, I don't want to commit suicide in the offchance their is a heaven and I mess my chances of having somewhat of a decent afterlife....this is just a piece of why I hate my life

The sad life

My life has been nothing but a mess. I feel like I am the only person living in the whole wide world and no one understands me. I fail at almost everything. I am not smart,I only passed most of my exam papers even after studying so hard for it. I don't have that many friends. Only one or two that stick around. Been bullied at high school and been looked down upon by many top achievers. Always the one to be picked on in a group and this seems to be true in every new group i find. Perhaps there is something wrong with me? I really don't know. I try to tell myself i am a nice person and i will treat people around me with respect. my father left my mother when i was really young and my mom and step-dad had raised me up. I was beaten as a child but i wouldn't blame my mother because she was feeling really pressured. Nevertheless, i tried to help her (as a very young child) in her business because i knew my responsibility as a son. Sometimes i would even go as far as buying food for the poor. i lack that emotional subtance because as a very young kid i was always "contained" by my parent. For example, whatever i said never stood in my favour and I would get beaten for that. because of this, i find it difficult to really communicate my thoughts effectively to the people around me , there is always this sense of fear. One moment i can be a very enthusiastic person and the next i can be very sad, quiet and unmotivated. As a young child, these are the reasons that brought me closer...

worn out

I am a 41 year old male. Married my high school sweetheart at 20, we have a beautiful 19 year old girl. My mother died of cancer when I was 7 so I was 'raised' by my father - a retired Marine Corps colonel. I became a golf professional at 20. I lived that lifestyle of alcohol abuse, gambling, out all night. My wife had no choice but to leave. I continued my self-abusive behavior, but never had a drink around my daughter and paid my child support. When I was 30, I was sick of this phony lifestyle so I went back college and earned 2 bachelors degree and a master's degree in economics.
My last semester, I had a seizure and was told I had a malignant brain tumor that was incurable and will kill me. I went through all of the surgeries and chemotherapy.
I lost most of my analytical and quantitative abilities because of brain damage, so I have no chance of working in the statistics or economics field. I am on disability and medicare and work partime at a golf course. I experience frequent seizures and severe memory loss. I have just found out I have an aggresive strain of Staph infection in my spine and brain.
I cannot drive because of seizures, I have no assets. I have nothing to offer society. I'm just ready to get this life over with.

Alone

I feel so alone. I am sick of this feeling. I wake up everyday feeling positive then by the end of the day, I feel hopeless. I can't stand the word love. It's tossed around too much by people who don't care to act on it. I'm tired of meeting asshole after asshole who's only goal is to get in my pants then run. I'm tired of being emotionally abused and felt like I am not good enough. I hate this feeling of hopelessness, unworthiness and not beautiful. Sometimes I just want to die. I can't though because now I'm pregnant, but still alone.

Do I Still Have Time?

All my life I have been of a somewhat good kid. I never did drugs, I've never had teen sex, and when my siblings needed my help I was there. Now that I'm eighteen and a new adult, I've gotten to know the real truth of what people thing of me. A lot of my family members don't think I'm gonna be anything in life. And they're right. I have no car, no job, no boyfriend, and can't think of anything to do. I've joined the army and asked my older sister to believe in me and she told me,"How can I believe in someone as unreliable as you?" It hurt me to hear that, but it's true. I've never did anything for myself. My whole life I've been like a babysitter for people and my dad has always sheltered me from real life like actually getting a job or needing to go to places to get stuff for myself. I've never been totally independent and I'm scared. I feel like if this army thing doesn't work then people wouldn't even question my existence giving me a reason to kill myself. I want to matter, but so much doubt floats around my everyday life. My older sister telling me everyday that I'm gonna live a VERY hard life. People thinking I won't make it in the army. My own mom denies me and my dad thinks I'm so stupid. I want to make it for my younger siblings. And show people that my life won't suck.

lost without a home

I'm in piece I'm torn apart like shredded paper my life is the worse to humankind I hate being a mother I have no job my car broke down I was abused as a child no father my mother hated me my brothers are full of shit and if death came I won't flinch! I'd rather be 6foot deep only my son would miss me yet still I'm shit at that I'm not worthy of blood or organs some1 else should have them I hate my life!!!!!!!!!

Maybe it could be worse...

I'm 16, and I find interaction with people impossible. I often can't even start a stupid conversation. I have no friends and I've been bullied for almost all of my life. My parents divorced and I find it difficult to talk to either of them about things that worry me, and I can't relate to any of my brothers or sisters. Sometimes I like to pinch or kick myself because it makes me feel real. I often get stressed about little things like room changes. I often feel that I shouldn't be feeling this way because there are many people out there who are worse off than I am. People are often complimentary, but they shouldn't be because I am a selfish, horrible cow who deserves all it gets.

D5 drugs disappointment depression divorce disgust

Drugs have caused the ultimate ruin of my life. but long before they came along i was miserable , afflicted with terrible low self esteem validated by my peers through out school into college...i am too trusting and nice everyone takes advantage of me. i can't stand up for myself and that lead to my first failed marriage a husband who beat me everyday and told me how stuipid i was and disgusting...marriage number 2 got me a lazy slacker who stole everything i had , my home my credit my job and introduced me to drugs which stole my soul...i lost my career and ended up in rehab meeting a guy who stole every last bit of anything financially , spirtuially and any hope i had left...i have no friends because i just let eveyone walk all over me and am always sad no body want to be around me. i have to call a suicide hotline just to talk to someone alive. my family is disgusted with my drug use and that has driven them away. I have nobody and nothing. i can barely make myself shower i'm so sad and strung out. i feel disgusting and un lovable and that i will never be anything...my ship has sailed theres no hope for me, my career is ruined i have just lies holding me up all of which are about to unfold. i hate myself and have never learned to not be scared of being alone and that has lead me to settle for crappy friends and men. i 'lll never get it im just a lost cause. i don't wash or brush my teeth i donot care anymore i don't like anything in life i just am miserable. nothing tastes good nothing feels good nothing looks good. its fucking awful to be me. i am full of regret and resentment to others and myself.

Alive Not Living

I was born into a completely dysfunctional poor family, my mother a violent schizophrenic and my father an disinterested narcissist.

I never felt safe at home , and was was not aloud to leave my mothers site. At school I was teased for being small and feminine. Around 13 puberty struck, I began to hate the changes in my body and my life and sister attempted suicide due to the stress of our shit home life.

I suffer depression and anxiety, which often leaves me unable to leave my room. I used drugs and was high every waking minute during this period to distract myself from the ongoing memories of traumatic incidents and my self hatred. I have since kicked all my addictions.

A year ago I decided to try and accept that I am transgender, acknowledging that society has the problem with not allowing people to freely choose gender and live as a woman, as I should have been doing my whole life.

Now I have another set of problems; trying to accept that I am misunderstood by the majority of people, being treated differently when people find out I was not born a woman, my body and mind will never match no matter what operations I could have, I am afraid of intimacy, never had nor will never have a relationship. Besides one time when I was sexually assaulted I haven't even had my first kiss... I'm 29 :(

My memory is shattered from drug use and I think I'm ugly.

I hate my past, am scared of the present and have little hope for the future.

not sure what to do

don't know why i'm doing this, but as i'm sitting here crying i guess i'll tell my story. i'm 37 living at home (my parents) with my wife and dog. i've only been with one woman, my wife, and we haven't had sex in over 2 years. she's never been really touchy feely, which is what i want just as much as the sex. we've been together for about 13 years and only the first year or so did we ever have sex and that was only a few times a year as we dated 3000 miles apart!

because i've pretty much given up dealing with the situation i have now irreversibly become a drug addict (to escape my feelings) that i have to live with for the rest of my life and have to be on a daily maintenance pill which costs me $100 a month or i will go into withdrawal. the sad part is that it's not enough medicine for me, so every single day i feel sick but i can't afford to take anymore medicine.

every time i feel something strongly i can't stop crying for hours. my wife won't let me get mad at her, she'll turn it around so that i feel guilty, so everything now comes out in tears.

i'm just so tired of crying and feeling like shit, and feeling unloved, but i'm too scared to do anything, and i don't want to hurt her, she's already been hurt so much in life. if i died tomorrow, oh glory day...

i hate my damn life

i have a ton of allergies and i react with hives and eczema every single day. sometimes i don't even know what caused it. i have eczema and it's go goddamn painful. i can't even laugh without my skin hurting. my skin is always itchy and i can never get a good night's sleep. my sister has good skin and she can do whatever the fuck she wants and nothing happens to her skin. i can't even use lotion without getting irritated. apparently my dad never had eczema all his life but his brother and his sister had it. so you're telling me their kids don't have eczema yet me with my dad who never ever had eczema has it? are you fucking kidding me -__- i have so many allergies i don't even know what to eat. i pretty much eat the same shit everyday because there are so many things i'm allergic to. i just want a normal looking face. i tell my mom and she doesn't understand me. she says i blow every small little problem out of proportion. it's not a small problem! i can't sleep like a nomral person, i can't eat like a normal person, i can't even enjoy summer like a normal person! everyone is having fun and hanging out everyday and i'm stuck at home applying lotion to my skin every hour. it's not that i'm being depressed all the time, i really CANT. heat worsens my eczema, the sun and the wind makes me feel soo uncomfortable. why can't i just be a normal person? i feel so self conscious about my skin, especially at gym when i'm changing. every girl is normal and i'm just stuck staring at them wondering why i can't have normal skin like that. i wanna wear all the fashionable clothes but i can't because i have to cover up all the damn freaking time. it sucks so much!