| | Posted by Brother man at July 6, 2012 |
19, can't find a job, my university is going to be shut down, the lead singer of my formerly passionate band died and my sister has become mentally unstable. Need I say more? |
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| Posted by anonymous at July 6, 2012 |
Ive always had low self esteem i don't have any friends well I call my co workers friends but it's not like we will ever hang outside of work. I don't think I'm attractive even though everyone says in very good looking I don't believe them. I have also been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years I love him so much but I resent him at the same time.when we first started dating I found out on my own he was HIV positive. I decided to stay with him because I really cared for him. We have an open relationship and it's because I found out he cheated on me multiple times and I didn't want to lose him so I stayed with him. I know it's pathetic but I honestly don't deserve better. I hate this open relationship thing it's besically him screwing all these other guys and me having no choice but to deal with it. I just found out I'm HIV positive I know it's my fault, I tried being careful but I think me becoming positive would have happened to me eventually because let's face it my life sucks. Now I cry every night because Im going to die (I have a fear of taking pills, Im scared I'm going choke on them) for me taking pills everyday for my life doesn't really seem like an option. I know my boyfriend doesn't love me and wants me to move out. I feel so ugly I have to be why else wouldn't he not like me? When ever i have a day off i feel so unwanted i hate my days off I can't go out since I have no friends to call. I feel so stupid for staying when I found out he was HIV its not like me to have had stayed. I gave him my love he gave me HIV I don't feel like living anymore. I honestly want to die I really want to kill myself. Im to much of a coward to kill myself and to much of a coward to live. I guess I just have to wait for this to kill me. I have nobody to talk to its really killing me not being able to vent. After all this I know my bf isn't a horrible person, I know he didn't want to infect me. He really is a great guy and a friend. I just wish he was like that with me. |
| | Posted by tink at July 6, 2012 |
I'm in my 50's, female, married, 2 grown children.
Husband lost his job 6 years ago. He can't find another job anywhere, he's been everywhere trying to get one...he has applied to kohl's, target, wendy's, did work for ups for the christmas season, but after that..they let you go.
He has applied for what must be thousand's of job postings, and he rarely gets a call for an interview, and when he does, he never gets the job.
He made an amazing salary before all this, we never were in debt, we always paid our bills on time...even in full most of the time. I am partially disabled, I can't walk, and have a few other health related problems.
My sister lost her job 4 years ago and is now living with us. My son lost his job 2 years ago, but does other small jobs here and there...my daughter is in college till december. I worry she may not find employment too.
I'm so depressed. We are in such deep debt, I feel like we will never get out of debt..we are going to lose our home, and we have no place to go..we lost all our so called friends, nobody cares..nobody wants to listen to us...I feel like they all think we're going to ask for a hand out..all we want is for someone to just hear us out...let us vent. I'm so hurt by 2 friends especially...I remember helping them out emotionally when they needed me and my husband the most and now they will ask us how are you all ? and when I do tell her ( in an email) we never hear from them again. It's sad, shocking, and I would never do this to her. I just want to go away and never come back. I wish I could just go somewhere and scream my head off.
I can't take this crap anymore, I'm sick and tired of it all....all of it. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 6, 2012 |
My mom died this year. 6 years ago I found out that the person I thought was my dad isn't. I tried to contact my real dad who had no idea I existed and he blew me off so when my mom died I tried again. Again the blowoff. I have zero family because the half brother decided to empty mom's bank account while she was in the hospital then steal all her stuff so I got almost nothing and my aunt helped. When I was 17 I got pregnant with my HS sweetheart right after I tested out of school. Before that I was homeless living in my car and hotels with my ex bf when I was 15-17 years old. Almost no one knows this. I didn't want to get an abortion so I had the child then got pregnant again. I am now 44 years old and nobody knows that my kids were accidents. Their dad killed someone after I left him because he was on drugs and he is in jail for life so I raised the kids myself. I hate myself because I am too nice and everyone takes advantage of me and I hate everybody. So I met this guy half my age online from another country who moved here 4 years ago and I thought he would love me but since he is illegal he can't even work so he lives in my house doing nothing and looking at porn online and I hate him. My son who is 24 and does half assed attempts to look for work is living on my couch because he has nowhere to go and I hate him. My other son hates me and does shitty things to me and we aren't talking right now. I have friends who don't understand why someone so awesome as me can't get my life together but the real secret is this: I think I'm too old to do anything and I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Mentally I am stuck at around maybe 16 years old. I am on disability because I hurt myself at work last year and they are going to give me free training and a settlement so I think maybe I want to be a hairdresser and buy my own first home. I am completely alone. FML. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 6, 2012 |
Well here we go, looking over you all comment on each others sad stories I figured I'd add my own. This is probably the closest I have come to caring in quite some time. I look at your stories and I see kids, work, plus 100k a year, home, so on and so fucking forth. Um hello, if I had even half of one those I'd be jumping for Fuckig joy. But I'm not, and I don't. I'm actually in an insane amount of debt, but no one knows, and by no one I mean the 3 people I talk to, including my mother, step father and person I drive to work. U know what I do for work? I sit in a corner and build boxes. Yes boxes, for 11$ an hour. 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. And for what? So I can stuff my face with mcshits and sneak cigars when no one is paying any attention. Today I received a few texts, mostly from mother, asking where a bank is, and I'f I cam take her, so she can brin in her rolled pennies to buy smokes, even though she is suppose to die soon, as she sits back and pops her pain meds and tells me she wants to kill herself becuase I was born, grantor she doesn't do it daily anymore, she still enjoys telling me time from Time. A year and. Half ago I was happy, weighing in at 107-110. Now 130 I can't stand to look in a mirror, I eat becuase I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy when I eat, I drink when unhappy, I have a addication to exlax stupid I know. I dream of marriage, knowing it will never happen, I dream of kids, who will never love me. and when dad dies there is no one to tell me. I dont wa... |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 5, 2012 |
i was rape by my uncle when i was 5 year i would always bleam it on me bcuz i never told my mother untill we move out and what was wost was that my mother didnt do anything about it and it still hurts becuz ive would of felt good inside of me nowing that he pad for what he did but noo he past away 3 mounths ago and i felt soo bad becuz i new what he did and it was hardcore something that i will never forget he toke all my inocents away at the age of 5 and now im 20 and it still afects me when it comes to a relationship i still cry and i some times perpher to stay alone at home and let all my tears come out i |
| | Posted by Z1lla at July 5, 2012 |
My mother is terminally ill of cancer. I quit my high paying corporate plush job to come home to take care of a dragon lady. My mothers so mean I haven't seen my fater or sister in the better part of 15 yrs. she drives away anyone close to her including friends. Not only do I deal with the constant nagging, the barking of orders, and dictionary of curse words that spill put of her mouth daily, I must cook every meal she eats (super picky won't let the sitter cook) change her diaper and clothes twice daily because the ovarian cancer disrupts her urine flow which in turn voids all control. She empties her bladder constantly. Sometimes when she deficates she misses the toilet. Her constant soiling of her self results in me changing her sheets, and doing laundry everyday. She's completely ungrateful and says I'm trying to kill her and says she's going to report me to social services everyday. This I believe is due to the hallucinations from the extremely potent narcotics she taking for pain control. She's completely controlling and demanding. I have no life, and I support her wholey, financially and emotionally. This isn't the worst part. She's my only family and literally everyhing I love. I get the privilege of watching her decay to nothing. Every waking moment of her life is filled with unimaginable agony. She went from being a proud independent and ridiculously strong woman to sniveling petty fear-filled shadow of a person. I've seen her overcome the most difficult obstac... |
| | Posted by yadda at July 5, 2012 |
I fear life is a philosphilcal pathway to death, and i find it funny as i read a doctors view on that as being fine as long as no illnesses or what not is involved. Now i disagree if they have a family... everyone has a family. Ok so.. Philsophilocally... when your old enough (not 18, sorry) , perhaps 25 and you still want to kill yourself. YOU MUST, MUST talk to someone. In life we go thorugh.. you have always TALKED to someone. So you MUST talk to someone about your problems. It's funny how it can seem " tell this person everything.. no where". Then don't it, it is your choice. I wish nothing but the best for you people.
(lifesucks probably won';t accept this)
I give permission to lifesucksbigtime.com to edit any material of this and wanting to know that because of a recent story of mine that had 8 to 2 (that sucks/not really) i guess i felt it was more easier to start cutting myself and truly hatiing life. It's funny how the internet can be full of trolls , well atleast what thought . Fuck you. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 5, 2012 |
srry if i dont spell eny of this right or enything haha.
ok lets just get this out of the way 14 yr old soon to be 15 in like 6 days also im a girl.
god where to begin my story? the past years until about 2010 have been just one big blur. i used to hate so much now im just disappointed. all my life iv been lied to, i dont even trust my perents. my dad used to beat my brother and my sister, thank god he has never touched me. my mom used to be a alcoholic until about a year go, but unlike my father she abused me sometimes when i started to get older (i was abut 10 when she started to) but she would never do enything too severe like punch me billion times. no it was always like though a picture frame at me or punch my back hard enough for me to fall. my mom and i would always argue too.
anyways on with my story. my mom has two daughters (me and my half sister)
my dad had one daughter(me)and a son (my half brother)
my brother and sister would do durgs when they where younger (there like 22,23 yrs old now)
my dad would aways say things about how my mother was a horrible person and how she always lied to me about him and how things happend (things i did not no or things i dont remember) and my mother would do the same about my father. i dont no who to trust about who is always stirring up trouble for us. to be honest i dident care i just hated that i was in the middle of there fights. i hated both of them and now im just to tired to care i ju... |
| | Posted by grump at July 5, 2012 |
Im fucking 24, And i hate this piece of shit life at times i'm stuck in a college program for fucking 5 years which should have been done 2 yrs ago. Life fuking sucks ass when you really can't enjoy what your studying. I wish i could move out but where the fuck can i get the cash if no one wants to give me a job. I can't find a single fucking job and I hate the new idiotic and completely assholic job system which requires you to answer 50 question for a god damn cashier job. Seriously you stupid mother fucking employers when a guy comes into your store and tries to meet you personally to show initiative to work what do you do? This is what you do oh please fill out our stupid fucking application online because you coming from god knows how fucking far away to apply doesn't count. I Hope All You HR Fucks die in the lowest pit hell for your stupid fucking surveys along with your stupid dumbass lackey employers. FUCK you every employer in mississauga Ontario especially the ones at square one, erin mills town center and heartland. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 4, 2012 |
Hi I am a 15 year old boy who is very lonely. My sister returned from college last week and while she is chatting up her friends and hanging out with my cousins, I am sitting at my computer and sometimes cry in the bathroom for hours. All of my relatives treat me like a 5 year old, and my sister is the one that gets all of the attention. I got diagnosed with Aspergers when I was a little boy. Everyone at my school thinks I'm a fuck up, a person even said that my mom should have aborted me. i alway have bad marks, and whenever I try to have a conversation with someone, they go away from me because i'm "really creepy". It's not like i can control it! No one at my school knows about my condition yet. My sister is the cook, the person that every one likes, and has a lot of friends. I, however, am an amateur musician, the baby, the person who has no friends, and who is ugly and has raging acne. |
| | Posted by John at July 4, 2012 |
since I was 14 I waited nine years to go to England nut we dont because my parentsdoesnt care at all.every time in my vacation I always study and never have fun my life is bad my big brother is calling me bad word and my mother laugh and join my brother to make fun of me.when I open my playstation she tells me to close and study and my brothers enjoy playing.my mother is selfish she takes my iPad 2 and delete my games and my account treating like her own iPad . In my school I get bullied when I fight back I get beaten and my brother join the bully to beat me. I felt very angry and told my dad what happen . But deosnt believe me but grounded my in my holiday for a month.but when I became 15 i finish my igsce and got 5 a star and 2 b buty mother ripped my report and tells me do it all again and study all your vacation.like come in what the fuck it's not fucking fair they all have fun and travel while I am alone in the house.so I had no choice but to escape thus nightmare in 9 years so I left the family alone having my own life and adopted to a better family but my worse family came back to take me home but I don't want then I was arrest by the cops and held 3 day prison when I was free my fucking asshole family started beating me up. So please from this bullshited family because I can't take it any more what do I do escape again or kill myself for hope?! |
| | Posted by SuckaDuck at July 4, 2012 |
38,uneducated, crap job, man tits, verbal abusive GF, ave size c@ck, no sex(see verbal abusive GF) old car gray hair starting, out of shape, no mom, lost true love of life, best friends dead, drunk right now. I feel like a zombie just walking around in a daze because life has kicked me in the balls so many times that, all I can do is just walk it off, and proceed to the next ball kicking moment that is my life. |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 4, 2012 |
I was diagnosed with lupus, which is an incurable disease, two years ago. Upon diagnosis my entire family deserted me. My husband is a cruel, lazy ass bastard. My in laws are assholes. My husband refuses to help out around the house, even though I am sick and dying. He refuses to take an interest in my health and will not attend doctor or medical appointments with me. He hasn't shown any interest in me in two years. I haven't had sex or been touched or kissed or hugged in two years since I got sick. I am so very lonely and sick everyday and scared about dying alone. I have no one to talk to. I am on chemo and a lot of other meds that make me really really Ill. I struggle everyday to keep up on chores and take care of my kids. All my husband does is sleep. I am just so sick of everything. I'm sick of this disease, the toxic meds, the loneliness, the anger and hurt of my family's desertion and the anger over my inlaws actions towards me. My mother in law hates me cause I got sick and her poor son is stuck with a sickly woman. I would just like to be made love to by a gentle man before I die from this. My doctor gives me about six months. I have informed my family, husband and in laws of this, but they all accuse me of lying. I just cry and cry everyday. I just don't know..... |
| | Posted by eli at July 4, 2012 |
My Dad is such a stupid, fucking idiot. He cheated on my mom (or you could say the whole damn family) by going out with many girls behind our backs and eventually finding one to start a second family with. He's been with her for three years now and has a child with her, and the worst part is, the fucking dumbshit of a "father" decided it would be okay to name his new son exactly what he named me. I fucking hate him. It's like he didn't even bother to acknowledge the fact that his other son had that name, or the fact that he even already had another son another family. He is such a selfish fucking asshole. Even now, he spends all his time with that other fucking SECOND family instead spending time with us. And I think he married her after 3 years and he never married my mom after being with her for 19 years. He used our family as a resource for shelter, food, tv, bathroom, clothes for three fucking years and in my entire lifehe's never emotionally conne ted to me. Hell, we've never had a conversation. He doesn't even send us a little bit of cash to enjoy ourselves (we're poor as fuck) And because of that, my mom is always bitching and complaining about the stupidest shit ever. She turns every little disturbance into a huge fucking deal and in the end blaming me for it and explaining to me how I should be a better person and what I need to fix on myself. Fuck that. The reason I have all these problems is because of them. I blame my parents for everyhing that is wrong with m... |
| | Posted by Help me at July 3, 2012 |
I don't know what to do anymore. Everything I love turns to shit. I've always been that guy..the guy who supports you and lifts you up. If you needed help, Ide be there, ready to go and dully prepared. If you need anything. I'm your man.
But... Sadly.. no one I've ever helped has ever been there for me, and when I can't face everything on my own anymore, instead of anyone lifting a finger, I get judged, crucified, beat down, and left behind. Finally, I burst.
I've been in a relationship for 5 years, and it has taken its toll on me immensely. Sacrifices, compromises, and I've been there for her at every turn, even when I had nothing left. She was depressed, and wouldn't find a job to help pay the bills. I sucked it up and worked harder to compensate. It's been a struggle for years. It almost seems like when anyone I know is having a problem, I'm there with open arms. But when I'm down, or I do something wrong, instead of anyone saying " Gee I wonder if he is ok. He's not himself. Are you alright? Do you need any help?" Instead, it sounds more like "
Well you're being an asshole, and you better shape up and handle your problems if you're going to worthy of my time." I hate my life, and want to die. I'm so sick of being kind, and just getting screwed in the end. Of all the things I've learned, 3 run true.
Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being real gets you hated. |
| | Posted by Ray J at July 3, 2012 |
I'm 19 years old about to be 20 in 30 days. Over the last year, I've lost all 3 of my best friends and the only girl I've ever loved because of my anger problems. Now, my walls are up so high that I've lost all confidence to even try anything with a girl now even when they're throwing themselves at me. Shit sucks right now. I want to go back to school, but I'm not sure what I want to do, I get drunk 5 nights out of the week, smoke a lot of weed, and my doctor diagnosed me with Dysthymic Disorder, which is pretty much a never-ending black hole of depression that doesn't go away unless treated. I've lost all motivation to do pretty much anything with myself other than slowly let my health deteriorate and let all my friends slip through my fingers. I want to feel like I'm worth something, but I always put myself down and I have the worst safety mechanism in my brain that prevents me from taking any risks that could emotionally hurt me. Last but not least, my ex aborted the baby we were going to have when we broke up, and 2 months later, she gets knocked up by her new man and their baby is due in just 2 weeks. I just can't believe how I can go from living young, wild, and free to down in the slums. I see no light in this tunnel of darkness. Shit sucks. |
| | Posted by angry man at July 3, 2012 |
My poor father had a host of health problems from age 36 to his death at age 79. When I was just a baby he had a bout with kidney stone and contracted dengue fever before I was born. In 1981 my poor father had his first near fatal heart attack. At least two months in the hospital. In 1985; 1991; 1992; 1998; 2001; 2005; 2010; and 2011 more sickness and trips to the hospital. Between 1982 to 1995 he suffered from severe toothache. In 2001 he had agonizing pain from hernia. I don't know how many anginas he had in the last 30 years of his life. In 2010 a stroke took away part of his memory and took away 90 percent of his speech. His speech was mostly gibberish and it was nearly impossible to communicate with eachother. And more trips to the hospital. In the last days of his life in 2011 a hospital bed and nurses aids were bought to our house. Diapers were needed. The body was shutting down. He was slowly suffocating from heart failure and also developed a rash. The last two months of his life was especially torture. On and off he would yell and groan twist turn and writhe in bed. Pure hell. Its a fucking horror. After he died we had to make funeral arrangements. Coffins urns cemeteries that kind of shit. And another distressing thing is in deciding whether to bury or to cremate. They're both HORRIBLE. Either way we're screwed.Its like being in a fucking horror movie.Nightmarish. Where is the so called loving merciful God in all this? My whole family went through days weeks an... |
| | Posted by anonymous at July 3, 2012 |
My roommate tried to kill himself a couple of times over the course of the last month. Beyond that, because of one of my actions, I spurred a chain of events that cost a guy every friend he had. He also has tried to commit suicide. I have a few other friends with a history of attempts. I myself have considered suicide, and have attempted before. I really wish not to now, especially seeing so many people I know thinking of doing just the same. I really want to help them. However, I feel dead to the world. I have disconnected myself from my family and a large amount of my former friends. Even the friends I'm with now, I have trouble striking up conversation with. For some reason I disconnect from the people I know the most; it's always me trying to end the relationship before they do. It's not even an effort, it's just something I seem to do naturally and always have. I used to try to purge myself of friends before attempts, that way nobody would care when I died; I figured I wouldn't hurt anyone that way. Basically, I'm one heck of dumb guy. And that's about that. |
| | Posted by sarah at July 2, 2012 |
i came from a really very overprotected family whenever i come from school i go staight to home. I've never had any friends but when i do have a friend i could never see them outside of school. In middle school people bullied a lot calling me ugly because i was skinny, big hair, braces, a long neck, flat chested and was always shy and quiet and that was the same year where i developed social anxiety. i have been through hell from middle until my sophmore year in high school. When i was 15 and a half i drasticaly changed i gained at least 20 pounds and it went to the good parts of my body. My breast filled out from a barely B cup to a DD cup, my butt went from non existent but to a J-lo bubble butt, i grew taller, I got my braces taken off and my whole appearance drastically changed. I got attention from people real quick. Guys that use to torment and bullied me start being nice, saying not only that i was the most beautifrul girl at school but that i was the most beautiful girl in the world and i was asked out on dates constantly. But of course i rejected them because of the hell they put me through and because i was painfully and disabling shy around boys. That's when the whole school got mad and jealous at me and start calling me a whore, slut and saying that i had plastic surgery. But i didn't care because i got use to all the harrassment anyways. I had never dated anyone in school because i knew that i would be saving myself for someone special and that i would lose m... |
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