| | Posted by whatevah at March 6, 2012 |
Well my tag line tells it all. I'm a forty year old female: 5"4, 180lbs. Three years ago, my boyfriend dumped me- (you know, the one who I thought was the "love of my life"). So, I decided to relocate to a ski town so at least I could find pleasure in being surrounded by mountains.
I found a good job working at the local hospital, and things seemed to be looking up for me- or so I thought...
January 5th, 2012 I severely fractured my ankle,(slipped on ice) and was forced to be out of work for 3 months. I returned to work too soon- but financially couldn't afford not to work- my ankle was not even close to being healed. Especially working on it for 12hrs a day...
While at work at the hospital, limping around with an air cast, I managed to hurt it further by releasing one of the shitty brakes on one of the shitty hospital beds. They (the hospital) required me to fill out workman's comp paper work. Three months later, they fired me. I had become too much of a "liability". Highly illegal, but they were able to fire me with "too many absences". Complete bullshit, really since I only had five in an entire year! In any case, the day they fired me, I drove around in my car like a zombie, not knowing what to do-
The staff that I worked with, tried to complain, but conveniently, the Director of Nursing took off the afternoon that she fired me, and then proceeded to take the rest of the week off. Nice.
Then, I found another job. Not as good as the hospital, but at... |
| | Posted by not telling at March 1, 2012 |
I hate my life, I want to run away from everything and everyone that I know. I have an ex-husband that I cannot stand who lives to piss me off, but I cannot get away from him because we share custody of our 4 year old son. I have a job where I work for an 80 year old man who is a notorious prick, he yells at me all day and his wife is a cunt who lives to spend money our company doesnt have, therefore I cannot get a raise or take a vacation, which I haven't had in 2 years. My sister tried to kill herself last week on the anniversary of our brothers death (who died while in her care) and we had to have her committed. My Grandpa just died, and my Grandma is ill and probably won't last much longer either. My father is dying of COPD and cancer of the lungs, kidneys and liver. My Fiance and I fight constantly over my sons rude behavior and fits. My 4 year old is in therapy that was mandated by his daycare to prevent him from getting kicked out. The therapy is costing me $400/month, which I do not have and am sacrificing everything in order to pay for it. And today I got called at work to be informed that my son has now officially been kicked out of daycare. I live in an extremely small town that only has 3 daycares and now I can't find one that is willing to take my son because they already know from his previous one what problems my son has. So I will get fired if I don't come to work tomorrow, but I can't take my son to daycare and he isn't allowed to come to my of... |
| | Posted by Annie at February 29, 2012 |
I worked for the same company for almost 20 years and it closed when the recession hit in late 2008. I have struggled since then, have had a couple of part time jobs but am unable to find anything permanent. I am a 56 year old woman, alone and terrified. Never ever in my wildest dreams did I think this would be my situation at this time in my life.
I have long gone through my savings, do not qualify for any government support progams. I do not have enough money to pay my rent March 1st. I feel like I have lost part of me..it is harder and harder to put on a brave face and believe that tomorrow will be better. Harder to keep applying for the jobs I don't get. I can't sleep, I can't stop the constant noise in my head...I sometimes wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up. Not sure what I have to live for. |
| | Posted by tjb3423 at February 27, 2012 |
I am 25 years old, female, and completely weighed down. I work two jobs, sometimes 60+ hours a week and I feel like I am starting to loose my composure. I am so tired not just physically but emotionally as well. I don't really have an outlet for my stress and I never have a chance to really enjoy myself. I had a very tough week followed by a horrible day at my second job. I had a patient call and when I tried to give them assistance, they turned around and made sexiest and inappropriate comments when all I tried to do was help them. I feel like people are very cruel especially in the customer service industry. I work incredibly hard to provide people with the best attention and courtesy possible, but after dealing with the degenerate I delt with today my demeanor was crushed. I broke down while still at work. I could not stop the tears from running down my face. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated and now I am in fear that I will loose my job if I recieve a complaint. It is so stressful when you feel as though no matter what you do another person has the ability to make you appear wrong. Overall, I just don't know how much more I can handle. Sometimes my hands shake and I feel like my body is wearing down. I am not sure if I just need a break or an entire change. I support myself. I am unmarried and have no children so you would think that I have nothing to truly worry about. The truth is I worry all the time. My sleep patterns have changed and I am at m... |
| | Posted by MM at February 26, 2012 |
wal mart,mcdonalds or the military? take your pick. i have a college degree,and i work 2 pt jobs for next to nothing. i scrap by,but life shouldn;t be so unfulfilling. i mean really!? i dont have "weekends" really dude? do you? my days off are staggered tuesday and satruday if im lucky enough. im drowning in debt and sick of the bullshit. there is nothing to look forward too,except getting loaded and stoned when i have time for that to forget the mundane bullshit of my so called life. i know alot of people are looking for work and its hard but its just really hard to keep putting a positive spin on things when no improvements seemed to be made. i work day after day,and on my days off i send resumes out looking for work! hows that for fun? day off of work and look for work! im gonna keep pluggin away and hope something good happens. thats all i can do... |
| | Posted by bruce at February 21, 2012 |
I'm a 35 year old Male. I worked at the same job for 10 years almost to the day until I got fired. For 8 of those years I was being harassed and bullied by management although there was nothing I could do about it because I didn't fall under a protected class if you know what I mean. As it turned out, the years of harassment caused me to develop depression, I didn't know I was depressed until about a year before I got terminated. The years of abuse at work caused stress, the stress became depression, the depression caused erratic behavior, then ultimately became the reason for getting fired. I've been on unemployment since October 2011. I've been seeing a therapist regularly since I got canned from work. Every now and then I look and apply for new career, not jobs... I figure I may as well look for something permanent. While I've been on unemployment, I've been able to pay the bills, and even buy some toys once and a while. So for another 5 weeks or so I'll be just fine. If i can get an extension it will be even better. I am currently awaiting arbitration through the union from my old job. Hopefully within the next few months. So there is a slight possibility of getting my job back. With all this going on, I feel fine. I should be worried but I'm not. I seem to have this "things will work themselves out on their own" attitude. I know deep down that I should take this more seriously. The strange thing is... I am generally comfortable with the situation and have no worries... |
| | Posted by 30's definitely not the best age at February 19, 2012 |
I'm turning 30 saturday, so here comes the appraisal of it all.
I did long studies, trying to become a teacher. Tried, and failed despite my efforts. Rules have changed now, and it's dead for good. 6 years in the trash bin.
Now I work in a nuclear power plant for minimal wages, with neurotic fucks talking about money and how they hate each other the whole day. I work there from 7 to 8, so basically the rest of my live is 3 hours long, before I go to bed for another day.
Got a girlfriend, wich I see like 3 hours a week. We've been together for 8 years now, broke up 3 times already... And it feels like she's failing me again.
Got a band, something really important in my life... But I just don't have the time to involve in it anymore.
I know my life isn't as shitty as some I read here, but I just find no taste in mine. What I loved's gone, and has been replaced with sheer boredom and frustration.
Everyday's a mascarade, but I feel like I'm not going to take this any longer.
Then, things will get worse, I know.
Happy birthday, total failure.
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Where to start? I'm 31 years old and have a masters degree in management, but no real job. I had to quit my last job of 8.00 an hour working for the State of DE as a part time employee for their public shooting range due to environmental factors. These factors included lead exposure and fear of being shot on a daily basis due to lack of training for employees. I know what your thinking and that's did he call OSHA about the lead at least? Yes I did and apparently they have no control over what the State of DE does, but can write tickets all day long to the private citizen. Go figure that one! Although while working there for the past eight months, I did try and move up the ladder in the organization only to be passed up twice to people that were "politically connected" as my former boss would say. To make matters worse I have lived with my parents for the passed three years and see no hope in sight for that situation to change. I even make it a habit to apply to five jobs a day and rarely I get a call back. I know what your thinking and it's that this guy must have something wrong with him? I have a masters and can market myself very well! In fact before the collapse of home building, I was making six figures in sales, had a nice place to live and drove a brand new Boxster! Now I drive a second hand Focus and easily get depressed thinking about the good old days when I had money and this is shallow, but women came in the package too.
After losing everything life... |
| | Posted by FloridaGuy40 at February 16, 2012 |
Where to begin. I just turned 40 and life is looking bleak.
Growing up, my family always struggled and we were always poor. I never got to keep any birthday money and I remember many nights searching for change so we could afford rice to eat. But my parents loved their three boys, me being the oldest, and taught us the value of education.
I worked hard and did well in high school holding down a job almost the entire time to help the family. I got an academic scholarship and was able to head off to college. After my freshman year, my father got cancer and passed away within months. I had no choice but to come home and help take care of my mother.
After a few menial labor jobs, I found I had a knack for sales and started to make excellent money at just 20 years old. $40K a year wasn't bad in 1992 and it kept my mom afloat and my younger brother in college. I met a wonderful woman and got married and within a few years I was making close to $80K a year. I was able to get married and support my wife and help keep my two younger brothers in college. I was doing better than all my college graduate friends financially so I didn't see the need to go back and finish. My wife was also making decent money and we bought a home in Southern California.
Then in 1999 my wife was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis that became severe very quickly. She had to stop working and a 3 year battle with her disability insurance company ensued as w... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 14, 2012 |
My life is fucking horse shit,my parents got a divorced a year ago which really didn't fucking bother me too much on the count of my stepfather was non caring jerk.Wound up moving in with my grandfather and he is mean as shit( to me and my mom) when my sister come around you would swear he fucking her. He is always siting his lazy ass on the couch all day.I broke up with this girl I used to fucking date,and now I cant seem to open up to anybody.I have no fucking real friends who I can confess my true feelings too.Also I go to a fucking retarded ass school with nothing but a bunch of spoiled brats who don't know if they should get a "Bentley or mercedes"(WTF)...Also my school is 11 miles away from my house,but get this my job is 30miles one way from my house. Sooo I average 27000 miles per year on my car;I had to pay $1300 to extend my warranty,and I onlymake 200 a week which means that plus my others bill a month,IM either starving or short on my bills.I work fucking nights and shit,and every body I work with are a bunch of idiots who I would love to slap the shit out of-among other things,which I will not say because I dont want to go to jail.-I have really poor study habits which means I never get to study and when I do,Im fucking lost and shit. Idk why I even go to school.I don't even know what Im going to do in my life.Oooooh and get this people love to call me gay.Aww and I ride a bunch of fucking retards to and home from work...."Get your own shit fuck".Last but not least Im always the only fucking black kid in my classes,and this one teacher just loves to call on me -___-. |
| | Posted by Grant at February 14, 2012 |
At 18 I went to college. 5 years and 17,000 dollars in debt later and I got a Bachelors degree in Parks and Recreation. Midway through College, my high school sweetheart attends, Was gonna get married, love of my life situation, Leaves me for some other guy, Got suicidal almost killed myself, Later that Year I contract a Rare uncureable Eye Disease that could make me go blind, called meibomian gland dysfunction Causes Severe Dry eye, Leaves my eyes on fire all the time feel like they have sand in them, As the story goes on After I graduate in 2010, Find out my degree Is worthless when the economy tanked in 2008 all jobs cut due to layoffs and budget cuts, I attempt to find a solution to the uncurable health condition. So then I worked at some dead end cubicle job using constant eye drops to get money, living in constant pain, during that time got in a car accident on top of that, almost paralyzed from the waste down lost sensation of hot or cold in my hands and feet, Developed Whiplash and a Rare uncurable Ear disorder called Tinnitus Constant ringing in the ears, Didn't sleep for days, felt like suicide, Accident was a hit and run, Insurance company's and doctors couldn't pay and spent all my paycheck to figure out what was wrong, ended up empty handed, studied the health problems for 2 years, tried to figure out what I could do, Realized I went to quacks, and that our health care system is profit based, and the pharmaceutical and insurance company and doctors are all i... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 10, 2012 |
Left everything behind me for a job opportunity. I thought I would open a new blank page to my life. i lost my gf over it, doesn't really bother me that much to say the truth. I miss the campionionship more than her. i lost my friends who won't come and visit. i can't go on vacation b/c shit falls apart when i'm gone and the 1 day i did take off i must of had 50 calls including my boss bitching at me for not answering it. wtf?! i have off. anyway my job sucks i'm 500 miles away from everyone i know. the people below and above me are completely disorganized and they all put it on my plate to fix. I'm 29 and I'm single which kinda sucks. people here are completely unfriendly and unapproachable. i find myself completely depressed and now catch myself drinking by myself which i've never done before. i'm gaining a lot of weight due to stress. i drag myself out of bed everyday. inside i just know this is not right. i know i'm better than this. but now i'm alone and blogging this because i can't even vent this to anyone in person. this sucks. |
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| Posted by anonymous at February 9, 2012 |
I work a 40 hour a week job for 9.50 hr support my husband and my daughter both who make MORE then me. Then my stinking refund gets audited really IRS I NEED that money to pay the bills I do NOT get welfare Totally about to disappear all my husband cares about his business(which has brought no income into our home) and my daughter taking a trip and new clothes yes I am stupid I realize what they have and what I go with out and how little it matters will they miss me or the fact they can not spend on themselves |
| | Posted by ME at February 9, 2012 |
I hate my life, because of the career I chose. I have no way back. I wish I could go back in the past and choose wisely and based on what I love, instead of what would satisfy my dad. I can't even bear the thought of keep working for the rest of my life in what I do. I dont know what to do, I'm not confident with myself and I feel like crap, and depressed all the time... I don't know where I'm headed to. I just want to quit and run away. |
| | Posted by Judy at February 8, 2012 |
My father lives with me. Rent free, free groceries, free cable, free Internet. I feel like I need him to live with me. He fixes things. But lately I've been stressing out about my supporting him. I think it might not be so bad if he cleaned the house more. He always does the dishes, which is nice. The other problem is his loud talking which turns into yelling. I'm so sick of him yelling at me! He yells at me for stupid stuf. I can't handle his temper anymore. I want to tell him he needs to move someplace else. But the thought of that makes me wanna cry. I love him to pieces. But I think the longer we live together, the more bitter I feel towards him. Plus I'm a grown single woman, an scared I'll stay single with him living with me. I feel like he thinks life owes him or something. I know he barely has any money. Yes an my mother worked while he stayed home. Then they divorced. I'm embarassed for him too. My friends hate that I let him live off me. An they hate that he yells at me. I guess it's what happens with any roommate complaints. But since he's living here free, shouldn't he be nicer an cleaner. I know. Not every1 is considerate. It just kills me, my own dad don't see how I'm so riddled with anxiety, because of him. He blames all my friends an my job for the anxiety. I've had butterflies in my stomach since I was 11. Besides me feeling like my dad is a dead beat yelling lazy crazy argumentive old man. That I love! LoL. My job does suck. Every1's probably does. It's ... |
| | Posted by sadgirl at February 8, 2012 |
Well, here goes. Our department was not perfect, but work was ok. Our manager got fired, so they hired an airhead girl in her late 30's. She has no college education, lacks experience and people skills. What were they thinking? She thinks she knows it all and will not take any ideas from anyone. To make matters worse, she hired her friend from another department to work in ours. Now there's two of them. They take long lunches, sit around giggling and goof off. There's no staff meetings or communication. Send her an email and you'll never get a response. We're doomed!
We've talked to her boss, but nothing has been done. So the rest of us who have college degrees and 25+ years experience have to report to her.
I have started looking for another job! For the time being, this is what I have to deal with. |
| | Posted by Not a Doc at February 8, 2012 |
After looking through all of the recent stories and such, it seems that you all are just kids. Wait till you have a fucking kid that is fucked up and a wife that is the same way. Top this with looking for a job and then I will feel sorry for you.
I am am 49, with no hope of a job prospect, a mortgage that is killing me and a wife that is a total ball buster. Praying to win the lottery? Sh*t, I am will to sell my soul for a taste of freedom. I havent had it in 20 years so am ready to chuck this bullsh*t and go up to a tower and unload. Sorry if there will be casualties, but i did not want this life but that is what was handed to me, so i need to take it any way i can.
look for my obituary.
later
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| | Posted by anonymous at February 8, 2012 |
At the current moment, I feel like blowing my fucking brains out of my skull. I have nothing going for me as of a week ago i was wonderful. I had worked hard to get a position of an internship at my local zoo as a keeper aide feeding the exotic animals and learning facts and whatnot. I loved it.I have also one college class i take that is 30 minutes out of town i go to every Tuesday and Thursday. If i didn't love the class so much i wouldn't bother driving out all the way there twice a week, But I do very much so. My parents have told me they would both help me pay for gas and school. Well they have not given me anything since i started. not a single fucking dime. meanwhile im having to pull money out of my savings to pay for my gas. THANKS MOM AND DAD. Plus i went through all the fucking retarded financial aid application only to get denied. So my parents are divorced my mom is in the process of moving into a new house in a new town while my dad has his house. I live in between both residences weekly. Both live 30 mins away from our home town, where my best friend, and my girlfriend and my future all live in the town called Roseville. So obviously i have a car otherwise I'd be totally fucked out of doing anything. Well heres where everything goes to shit.... Im sleeping early in the morning, my mom walks in my room and asks if she can borrow my car, hers isn't starting and shes going to be late for work. Me, being barely even conscious says yea its on the table and the... |
| | Posted by Audrey at February 7, 2012 |
man, if they gave prizes for screwing shit up, I would be the winner! late, late, late on my project, but since I couldn't figure out how much I had left to do, I couldn't tell that I was gonna be late, so I didn't work overtime until after it was late, and well, that is just not good enough. shoulda worked over the first week so I made sure I was done on time, shoulda known that I would have to rewrite the history code when a new version of Chrome came out, that it would fuck everything up and take a week just to figure out, so I should have done that months ago, like a fuckin fortune teller, shoulda spent 50-60 hours a week workin on it way before it was late. then to top it off, since giving presentations is so damn easy, I should be way better at it, if I would just try, of course I would be better, it's so fuckin easy to give presentations. and by the way, I shouldn't have any stress, never mind the fact that I am failing miserably, that I can't stand up in front of a bunch of upper management and talk and make sense, that I can't seem to get my project done on time, hell, everyone else does, and they track how many times you ask for a schedule change, way too many times for me (twice I think), no stress, just get up and tell them all about your project, oh and the new project you have to lead that you know absolutely nothing about. God, if I could just shoot myself now, I would. |
| | Posted by tuliplady at February 7, 2012 |
32 - married with child. Several bouts of employment, unemployment, being taken for granted, getting upset about it - and feeling like people mock me and don't see my value. Many say I am attractive, intelligent and funny - but I cannot shake this hideous depression and the want to end it all and feeling shitty about not having the minerals to do it.
I just had my first daughter and she is an infant. Her dad and I just separated and she lives with him because he is unemployed - and we can never end a conversation without arguing. I owe $60k in student loans+ and I have absolutely no outlet and no support system. Every time I am in a job position - I try so hard to be flexible and eager to please so that I can keep my job - that they plug me in anywhere and I lose face doing jobs that I feel are "beneath" me. I prove my worth - but never get any recognition or praise - or am given the chance to rise. I have been stagnant for years.
The fact that my daughter is in the world makes me want to keep trying - and I don't off myself for the possibility that someday she may need me - but sometimes I look at her and feel that she would be better off without me. I'm drowning in debt, I hate where I live, I suffer from depression, I just lost my health benefits, I'm behind on my rent - and I feel everyone feels like I'm a disapointment. My career is garbage, my kid doesn't really know me, I don't get along with my husband, his family thinks I'm a piece of shit for not being with my daughter, I have no one to console me, and I can't afford to see my daughter more often than I do because she lives far away.
I'm a horrible mother, and I feel that no matter what - it neer comes out right.
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