LIFE SUCKS : Meaninglessness

life I didnt want

I'm 20 years old and live in a small town in Oklahoma. I have a job that takes 10 hours of my day. I work nights and sometimes weekends. I had so much plans after high school. I planned to go to college, hang out with friends, and a relationship. But I've been out of high school for two years and havn't went to college, havn't had a relationship since high school, and havn't talked to anyone outside of work in over 8 months. I come home to no one, see no one, and hate having a boring life. There is no places to go to meet anyone here. There's only a store, and I could only meet someone from 8am to 11am so you know no one my age is out that early. Life doesn't seem worth it. Just wish life would change.

12 years alone

I am 29 years old but I have allays felt older ever since i was a kid L could never relate to if so a few people i never had a girlfriend in high school and I thought i was because I am shy with women but after 12 years it most be something in me that is broken I have never had a mining full relationship. i was living with my mother and brother until last year and that did not help me and after I moved away this feeling of anxiety hit me and i went out and I meet some women but I did not know how to treat them so I lost there affection that was short lived and the last woman I met I really liked her but one more I did not know what to do and after one encounter and my stupidity she do not want anything to do with me and for the past last moths i being in this depression That i don't want to do nothing or go out and the only thing that help me from feeling worst is pot because I went to get drunk and my depression got much deeper and this feeling of just want to be numb and the separation of the few friends that I got had not help and I the feeling of just wanting to ended all but i do not want to do to my mother of her son committing suicide just because i not happy will just bring more pain to her but I know if I die tomorrow only she will care and this is after I started watching suicide videos mostly the one of Budd Dwyer and thinking that be me one day because I do not know how long i can feel this way before i can't take more because i am so alone and unhappy that life is not word living this way and I feel that i don't belong any were and that i am repugnant to women but is all in my head and i do not know how to scape it I am 30 years old now and do not have reasons to live for and also i can't sleep well or get pleasure from any activity i am broken inside i do not why or how to fix it and also I do not dream any more and when i do is me the moment of my dead and it wakes me up and I feel my life is being a waste

Nothing was not bad nor was it right

I am 57 male,without a single friend in this world.But,god has been good to me always.Looking back,I can see the blunders I have been through.I used to masturbate a lot even when I was a very small kid.It used to give a sort of comfortable pleasure after.I used to stammer a lot,and that made me the laughing stock and object of being ridiculed by everyone,small and big people alike.My father was a stern man,who had never really given us anything like other peoples dad,but is quick to scorn and scold and beat me everytime he gets a chance.By the time I crossed my 18th age I cannot control my desire for a physical sexual relationship with a woman.And thus I got involved with a widow 10years my senior.Even from the first experience itself,I found out this is the only real pleasure I got in my life,and I hung on to her for 7 years.She too was willing,so much so that,I can go and have her any time and place I feel like.Even in a conservative society like mine,I used to signal her to come out when there are guests around,and make her come to the toilet where I will be waiting.I have even made her masturbate me in the midst of other family members without their knowledge.She was ready for everything.But the day I got married,I stopped going to her,and she too got the message.
But,now,after all these years,I am getting old,and as already mentioned,without a single friend in life,no one to talk to even when wife goes to work,I am tired and disillusioned with the world.I cannot get along with people at all,I desperately need something to do in daytime.But what,I dont know.How to make people like you,and accept you.

depressed

lifes such a sh*t. got married a year back n now it looks like everything i do is for someone else.. noone really cares.. no one cares bout my feelings.. my studies..my career.. everything is bout others.. lifes so useless.. feel so dead, so suffocted wanna run away n keep running till dere is no energy even to feel d pain.. help me god

I am just your average fucked up individual with no meaning in life and no real reason for existence. I fantasize everyday, tell myself I have some meaning. But then I realize it's just bullshit. It's just hope that keeps you going. It's just hope that keeps the poor occupied while the rich live the fucking life.

Sometimes I wish all the hurt and broken people would unite together. Then maybe we could heal. But fuck it. We're weak, that's the only reason we're in this shit anyway.

I don't know how to accept that. I don't know how to accept that I am just weak and I always be, and that I will never change my fate in life, because I couldn't even be fucked or motivated enough to try.

I thought I found true love, twice. Those two girls are the only ones I ever shared anything with - and now? Fuck I don't even know where they live or what their numbers are... we've just drifted apart and it's been five years since I've seen either of them.

So now I spend christmas alone. Fuck I don't even believe in god. Christmas is just about family and gathering around, feeling connected. I never feel connected.

I am 21 years old and just another face in a sea of faces. We're all going to the same place. The same graves. And it makes no fucking difference what any one of us thinks about it.

I think about sex constantly. Sex has ruined my life. I've had every sexual thought imaginable.

I'm intimitely hopeless. I couldn't be intimate with a girl because I don't even know what intimacy is - besides I've been fucking ignored by girls my whole life.

I'm so bored of all this shit.

My only son committed suicide Oct.31,1999 - My darling wife of 43 years did the same on May 10,2010. I have a daughter 42 that seems to blame me for their deaths and will have nothing to do with me.
My son had a wife and 5 children when he took his life after losing his job, his home, and his wife to divorce.
My wife fell, broke her back, and couldn't get the doctors to believe just how much pain she was suffering, and took her life when I was away buying groceries.
I am 69 years old, living all alone in a huge house with nothing but my darling wife's little chihuahua and my memories of when I was a family man.
They are wonderful memories and they are all that I have to live for now.
Each day is nothing but a consistant repitition of previous days,television, playing with the chihuahua,checking for mail that never comes,paying a phone bill for a phone that never rings,and talking to my departed wife as if she was still here with me. Life for me is a heavy weight around my shoulders that gets heavier with each passing day. I bought a .45 caliber handgun and keep it for the day that all this finally gets to me. If it is true that there is life after death, I long to be with my dear sweet wife again forever and always.

Ugh

Everyday is basically the same, and I pretend I'm enjoying something in life. In reality, there is nothing to joy. Life isn't fun. It's misery. If there is a hell, even if I went there, how much worse could it be than the one we're living in right now? Everything that once was interesting for whatever reason seemingly became boring. Picking up girls use to be the most fun thing for my friends and I to do. After a brutal relationship, I haven't even really tried. In fact, I don't think I can anymore. Whatever the reason is why, I don't think girls find me charming or even that attractive for whatever reason anymore. Currently, I go to college, seeking a stupid degree for a stupid job that I most likely won't even get, because my effort is sub-par when it comes to school. In the meantime I work at another stupid job and I am around depressed people 24/7. Instead of working there, I probably should be them. But the last time I admitted I had depression, nothing worked out well. I felt the same, so what's the point? No matter how many times you cry wolf, nothing is going to chance 180. Life, for whatever horrible reason, doesn't work out that way. It's a pure misery, and sadly enough, I have at least 80 percent of it, if not something happens, to go. Pfft...

why go on

i have two brothers that used me to help them accomplish themselves and than both in a drop of a dime forgot that they got to where theyre at with help of others, one brother has made it big for himself and never looked back, and i resent him and disowned him because i used me and dropped me like sack of bricks once he didn't need me and left me with nothing, another brother was my business partner in which i took him on as a partner to help him get off his feet. but he ended up losing all of our companys assets and inreturn left me with the debts and took the business contacts for himself, so i became an agry person, and got myself into a bar fight where i almost came close to killing someone, now at age 29, i have nothing. no money, no income, no support, i could be looking at jailtime, why even go on, i used majority of my prime years helping others and in return this is the thanks i get. my girlfriend left me because shes a bitch that didn't wanna hang around when times are rough. my friends are no longer friends because i have nothing to offer. i wanna just give up . i have no reason to even wake up some days. the glass is half empty. i would consider just ending , but i'm not man enough and the end result would cause my parents to have a heart attack and prolly follow in my footsteps, worse of all i dont even think anyone would care or miss me if i actually did just die.
i go to sleep at night and wish i dont wake up...life just sucks right now. why even make the effort if the end result is gonna get me back to this shitty feeling i have now. still waiting for karma to work its magic on me. because life certainly has not been fair to me at all!

I want to die

I have been unemployed for over a year. Unable to support myself, no hope of finding any work. Lost everything! After a heart attack and two wrists that have been under the knife 6 times for ligament tears and too the fact that I will soon be 51 years old, who would want to hire me. Life is without hope, feel like a burden to all that know me. Just want to end this pain inside. I was once a very proud successful man, now only a shell of what was once a man. Have received help been placed on medication to treat the depression, but all it does is mask my feelings. I find no pleasure in life, everyday all I think about is the best way to accomplish the final deed. Still searching for a way to make it look as an accident. Any one have a suggestion? I pray each day for God to take me. Let a child live an take me in their place.

you have no idea

Most children have a dream, something to aspire to as they grow up. If those children have solicitous parents, they are guided, nurtured, and prodded along that road to self-discovery. In a perfect world, those dreams align with a child's interests, passions, and talents. Those children are the lucky ones. I only had one dream, to get married and raise a family. However, no one has ever been interested in me. So, at the age of thrity, I decided to go back to school and find another road. As it turns out, there are no other roads. There is nothing out there for me. Talents? None. Nurturing parents? No. Family all aroung me suffering and engaged in their own problems. Who was it that said something about people living lives of quiet desperation? Those were my parents, and that is me right now. Female, 38 years old, obese, balding, unemployed, in debt up to my ears, and no way out of any of this. Most women have a father, a brother, or a husband to look after them, to "take up the slack", to plow the eighteen inches of snow out of their driveways in the morning, to help keep the bank roll rolling. Not me. I have an aging mother who lives on less than my unemployment checks and even together we cannot pay our bills. I don't want my life to revolve around how I am going to feed my mother and keep a roof over her head. I want my life to revolve around a purpose, but I have no purpose. There are charities and government sponsered programs to help children, the sick, the aged, battered women, unwed mothers... who thinks to help the woman who is simply ALONE.

I'm 44 years old. For twelve years I've suffered from chronic pain in my head and neck. I've been examined and treated by all kinds of medical doctors and specialists, but nothing really helps. I'm not able to work and is supported by incapacity benefits. Everyday is the same. When I'm not in great pain, I'm bored. My life has become a pointless marathon of suffering with only rare and tiny moments of alleviation and joy. My social life is almost non-existent. I get no real love, no real emotional care from other people, no sex. Before I got ill my life was better, but never good or even satisfactory. My mother died when I was twelve and left me with my alcoholic, uncaring father. The loss and the dysfunctional, unstable family environment made me lose my orientation in life and completely destroyed my ability to make close ties with girlfriends and potential life partners. From my teenage years and onwards my life has been a living hell briefly interrupted by pockets of (academic) success, hope and joy. Every day I wake up I'm sad that I'm still here, having to endure more pain. I'm so relieved that I never got any children. I don't (yet) have the guts to kill myself, but I really, really want to die as soon as possible. And I don't want to come into existence as a sentient being ever again.

My life's fine, it's just life that sucks.

I'll be straight-out. I'm a smart person (I just don't give a damn about school). My parents are nice and relatively well-off. Overall, my life is good. Why am I posting this, you ask?

I despise existence. More accurately, I despise the uselessness of existence. We're born, if we're lucky, we eat, we shit, if we're luckier, we fuck and make more disgusting creatures leech from this planet, and we die. I'm struggling to do well in school even though I was top of the class in elementary school, because I thought long and hard about life, and discovered that it has no point. I just don't give a shit about anything or anyone. I'm also an atheist, and a little bisexual, but few people know about the atheism (My parents are christian), and nobody knows about the bisexualism. I can hear the comments already; "Cool story bro," "Cry sum moar," ect. I don't really care. I just wanted to vent a bit nto the internet.

MY LIFE SUCKS

I'm 22 years old and thought that i did everything by the book by insuring i get the right education. This was not to be my ecstasy from my upbringing which featured living in poverty in Brazil and moving to the UK and living on a council estate where i got contiguously bullied and tortured by my peers. After finally leaving high school, i went to college whilst living in a home, and got myself A+ grades and a eventual masters degree in business + marketing.

However this is not the end to my hopeful good life and nobody will give me a job, i did get a job but the boss felt like i was working to hard and felt intimidated by my efforts because i was too good at my job, which was purely down to the hardship i have suffered previously and mean't i was so scared of losing this chance of freedom. They eventually fired me and said i wasn't suitable despite a protest from my colleagues who new i was amazing.

This is similar to a work experience i had where i made the company 150,000 pounds and then they sold the company of the back of my free hard work. I'm constantly getting abused by employers and treated like dirt because they are able to count on family grants and the right guidance to assume a authority over me which they have never rightfully earned. I'm unable to get a job at a leading company because my qualifications are not from the right university and mean's that i find myself in epic debt and unemployable. After going to such lengths to gain a go...

My life is blank

I feel very empty recently.
Every where I look, meaning in things are lost.
It feels mechanical and void. I am not depressed or anything.
I just don't have any emotion.

I see lot of people when I walk. But something in me tells me that they are fake. They pretend to be happy, but they're just clinging on to things that doesn't last.

I feel like I don't belong to the society. I was always the outcast.

Friends are fickle in their heart. All they talk about is money, cars and girls. I can't stand it.
Everyone is enslaved by this whole notion. It is almost like a disease.

If that is the perfect solution to life's fulfillment, why are there so many problems associated with it?

I'm 22. Life has lost meaning to me.

Love is elusive and shared among few. People are indifferent towards one another. Strangers are strangers, and they don't give a fuck.

Today I wanted to be depressed. Failed in that.

I am a psycholgical vacuum and that's it.

Will be 23 on the 26th, but probably won't be here.

Father, Mother, thanks for bringing me in this world. Had a peaceful moments at childhood, but that's in distant past.

The world is in devolution. I will extinguish myself before become swallowed by it.

Thank you brothers and sisters. Good luck on your journey in finding hapiness.

My time is out..

The simple way of life

I'm a 20 years old student from eastern Europe and all my life seems to me like a movie which I do not want to watch any more. I'm not attractive - A tall fatso - I'm not sociable - have been taught to be independent - And I do not have people to call friends. If you have met in your life a quiet tall + fat and rather smart fat-ass than you should know what I am like. Nobody even considers me a person and tries to avoid me.
I'm just a scary fat-ass with weak social skills I guess. My life does not really suck, but in world where you can clearly see the corruption and meaningless of most things that look like a useless ritual you start to wonder whether your life is not a meaningless ritual as a whole. I feel like I have understood how the world works and now I am sick of it. I feel like an old man who only looks towards death. I have lost hope to find at-least a tiny fracture of miracle in this life which would give my life some meaning. It is hard for me to make friends, other people seem to have problems of being my friends. Although I have some people to hang out with (as long as I have money) they are not my friends.
My life is not fucked although I have been shadowed all my life by elder sisters accomplishments. Not really loved, not really hated... just ignored. You see in this wretched world I have no-one to trust and express how I feel. This post might seem like arrogant words from a spoiled brat but I want to confess - this is the first place I express my pain and while typing I am drowning in my own tears.
I hope you all who read this have a good life. It seems that being a dumb blond chick is the easiest way to live this life. I'm gonna try to change from now on - have to lose 20 kg to gain some self-esteem and good looks as a start... then... we will see... suddenly I feel better....

Wasted life

Reading through some of these stories makes me feel like maybe I'm not so bad off (mainly in the sense that I've never been abused or had any famly problems). I just feel like I haven't accomplished anything in the 18 years I've existed on this earth. Like I'm just living for the hell of it. After graduating high school a few months ago, I've been at a complete dead end... All my friends are moving away or working all the time now, and I'm still here writing this story... I guess I should begin with the depression and social anxiety I've been living with for as long as I can remember, though in the last year its really started to consume me, I start to see the mediocrity of my entire life. I've never won anything, never been good at anything either. I don't feel like I have any meaning in this world. People tend to not notice me, maybe it's because I sub-consciously don't want anyone to notice me, I dunno. But I've been ignored by most everyone I've met since as long as I can remember. I live at home and have no job and don't go to college, not like I'd be able to get into a college with my shitty grades I got in high school. I have no idea how I'm gonna be able to live on my own, it just feels like I've come to a dead end, and instead of doing the whole "keep on trying to be the best you you can be" horseshit, I'd really just rather give up and call it a day. I've spent most of the last 10 years in a constant state of anger, hatred, and bitterness towards people. I have...

Tired

Life sucks because it's stupid in its idea.

I think I will never get the answers on why...

... I have to eat
... I have to survive
... I have to do anything to be
... I have to live and make my dreams come true when I could simply dream all time instead of living

Why?..

The answer that I get is simple: No reason.

I have no reason to do anything of what life wants me to do. I don't live for myself. I live for life.

I live for life to watch me living, to play the games it made for me to play, to fill it with my own dreams and share my existence with the other dreamers.

Sad thing is that so far I am much happier in my own dreams than in the world of living.

And if you ask me why, what is my problem with the living, I'd say my issue is that I dislike to live through dreams of silly, ignorant and blind beings that shape the world I have to be a part of for no good reason.

Dont Know Why

I dont know why i try. Everything i do seems useless. i mean i have friends who say they care and family by my side but at the end of the night when i go to sleep i cry. i cant help it i feel so alone. but i guess its my own fault i drive people away from me. i tend to close up and lie. id rather live in a made up world by me than face reality.

American Dream = Nightmare

My name is David. i am 26 years old i live in a small town in southwest georgia were there is no jobs and little hope of sucess my family and i are to poor for college and tech school doesnt get u far these days. the town i live in is slowly being overun by mexicans who stare at you like they want you dead. i never had any friends growing up and didnt have a girlfriend until i was 20. she like me was born dirt poor. my father a alcoholic would come home occasionally from his truck driving job to beat us and my mother , through many years he managed to keep it hide. my uncle sued the county works so he literally gave us a bad name round here. my extended family has nothing to do with me or my brother. our county is mainly farmers,farmers and farmers . i have nothing against blue collar workers and i have try many times to get some kind of job but being 4'8 and 145 pounds soaking wet doesnt help. the school i attended was horrible basically the guy with a big jacked up truck got the most pussy and being poor i got none of that. i wasnt a goth or nerd i was just broke and it showed. i wasnt bullied or beat up . it was more like they just ignored me totally like i wasnt here....i have felt this way for most of my life .. the only chance i had to get out of here was in 9th grade were in french class (which was mandatory to take some kind of languge) i made a 100 and had the chance to go to france ..but was beaten by a jock who got a 101 yeah it was total bullshit... i know live in a cottage on a dirt road with my girlfirend and we barely make it .. i often think that she will leave me cause of the circumstanes... i watch as yeaR AFTER YEAR I SIT AND GET OLDER NOT ADVANCING ANY WAY IN LIFE ...SEEMS POINTLESS ..

Life of mediocrity

Reading some of the other stories on here really puts what I'm about to say to shame.
Never been molested or anything like that(with my luck that'd be the only action I'd ever be lucky enough to get), I've just gone Un-noticed my whole life. Lived a mediocre life in an average as fuck famly that I'm starting to think that I'll never escape. Graduated high school last may and since then I just dunno what I'm s'posed to do. Too stupid to go to a college, unless community college counts, but that's really just the high school after high school. I'll pass on that. Can't find a job without prior works experience, which I don't have. I'd attempt a life of crime, but this place just isn't big enough to successfully pull that off. Society has pretty
Much ignored me for the last 18 years, maybe I'd finally get a little recognition if I took a shotgun into a crowded building and showed em what I think of this life. I have no respect for people, and I avoid them as much as possible, which has definantly contributed to this stagnant existence that I'm in now. I suppose the worst thing about my life has been that I've never really felt "fulfilled". Everything about life just seems pointless, theres no meaning to anything that happens. I don't feel truly suicidal, I think if I sincerely felt like dying, I'd just up and do it, since theres no
Meaning to existing, why leave anything behind? Fuck up as much things as you can and leave it for the next guy to clean up. Burn the...