LIFE SUCKS : Loneliness

loneliness

I life has been getting worse by the day. Mainly because of my personal loneliness. Ive lost friend after friend and now I have almost none left. I feel like im kind to others but i have trouble keeping friendships. The feeling of loneliness that I have waking up in the morning is so painful in my heart. Its almost worse than physical pain. I dont know how to hold relationships and keep them lasting longer than a semester at school. My parents think im not normal for not having friends and i also think im not normal. With all the success that I may get from school or work, it almost seems like i cant celebrate because its just me. on my own. all the time. Sometimes i even cry about being alone and dont get out of bed 2 hours later. I want to stop feeling like this. I want to get to know somebody....

Where do I go from here?

I'm 32 yrs old been married for 12 yrs. I had my daughter prematurely. She is a special needs child. This was about the darkest time in my life. My husband couldn't accept it and turned to drugs and alcohol. He's never been a good husband but I dealt with it because I loved him. Well now we have 2 more children 5 and 1. He quit the alcohol and drugs and he shockingly became a good daddy. Well a few months ago I found out he had a girlfriend. He's gone at work everyother week so he had no problems hiding it. Well about a month or so into his relationship I found out. I was devestated. I accepted him back for my kids sake. Also I really don't think at this point anyone else would want me. I have no family here where we live now. I'm surrounded by his family. I have no friends, no one to relate to. We live in the country so its hard for me to get out. We rely on one vehicle so most of the time I'm stuck at home. I'm afraid to be a single mom so I suffer in silence. Loneliness consumes me. I can't provide for my kids like he can and since I quit school to care for my daughter I only managed to get my GED. I feel trapped and lonely. Wondering if this is it. Is this what my life is reduced to? Total unhappiness. The only thing that gets me up in the a.m. is my kids. Well thanks for letting me vent. Maybe some day ill see the light at the end of the tunnel.

feeling lonely

i am married for 5 yrs i got married when i was 21 it was an arranged marriage i completed my btech in electronics and telecommunication i wanted 2 go 4 mba but my parents forced me 2 get married. i had my first affair at d age of 16 i loved him so much but he was a flirt..he never loved me i had so much pain in my life tht time he used me n got married 2 someone else i was completely broken down...was shattered then came another guy in my life it was just 8 months before my marriage tht he came into my life he loved me so much but i never committed him since i was not in a position to take another heartbreak i seriously liked d guy but never confessed my feelings to him then after 3 months of knowing each other i started loving him n when i was about 2 tell him tht i loved him my parents fixed my marriage..i told him...i was pissed off i told him tht if he wanted me 2 get married 2 him he should tell his parents about us and he should ask them 2 come 2 my home n talk 2 my parents but he didnt do it i just dont knw whether he actually loved me or not by talkn 2 him i always felt tht his feelings were genuine but d way he behaved it showed another story
i got married after six months he never called me or sent me any email or didnt had any contact through social networking site i contacted him six months after my marriage n since then sometimes i message him or talk 2 him whenever i miss him badly but he never showed tht interest in me d way he had before its always m...

On the outside

I'm a 26 year old woman. Tall, slim, pretty in my own way I guess.
I moved to a new city to take a job I really wanted.
I had to break up with my partner of nearly 10 years and leave the home we had made together and our two cats who were important parts of my life.

I was so broken when I got here but I tried to hold my head up and I tried hard not to focus on my fears and hurt that I probably didn't deal with it properly.

Now 6 months later I realise I have only made one friend who is often busy with her husband and children.

Some of my workmates I think actively don't like me. It puts my on edge at work and ruins what is my only social interactive apart from the supermarket.

I can go days without speaking to anyone. Sometimes I buy things at the mall to feel a part of something but really I hate shopping and can't afford it.

In desperation for some sort of human contact I went online dating. Met a guy and immediately went out with him and had sex with him. We did this weekly for about 6 weeks- always on his terms- always mostly about the sex. I know I was a booty call but I was always counting down the days until I could see him again so I had someone to pass the time with, someone to touch, someone to touch me. Often he was the only person to ask me in a week how I was.


I had a flat with a girl who hardly spoke to me so I moved again. The new flatmates speak to me when there is noone else around but th...

ironically lonely

I am literally surrounded by loved ones and friends, but that does nothing to make me feel any less lonely than I do. I am in college. My best friends are all away this semester. My family lives states away from me. My friends from home go to schools far from where I am. I am constantly surrounded by people that claim they care about me, they love me, they are my friends....but what they say and what they do are two different stories. My true loved ones are miles and miles away. I hate living in a world that I feel utterly alone in. I haven't really had a true healthy relationship with a guy. When I have a potential relationship I get myself so worked up that I obsess over it though so scared I never pursue it, which only hurts more. Every time I talk to or skype a loved one that is far from me the conversation ends in a fit of tears as the last thing I want to do is end the call. I miss them so much. My life feels empty and pointless without having them here to share it with. They of course remind me that they are always here, though not physically, always here for me. It doesn't help that feeling of loneliness go away though. I have done so poorly this semester in school. I am a straight-A student and have always been on the Dean's list. I don't think my grades will cut it this semester. I have no motivation to get out of bed, let alone do any work. I put off everything my school work, to actual work, to seeing the friends I do still have around campus. Nothing seems wo...

I'm a 52 year old single woman who is very lonely. Six years ago my mother died. We were very close and her death almost tore me apart. Before she passed, the two of us went shopping, dinner together, etc. I had many close friends and went shopping, to movies, had drinks, etc. It was wonderful. Now, all of my single friends have married, my friends that were married seem to have no time to do anything. We may have dinner once or twice a year!! Is all they have time for is their family. Since I have no family (no children, no spouse, no brothers, sisters, parents, etc.) my friends are the most important thing. The problem is, they only seem to call and/or see me when they have nothing better to do. I keep telling myself to quit feeling sorry for myself. I do have a good job and nice home, but that doesn't do anything to help with being lonely. Is all I do every day is get up, go to work, come home, eat and go to bed.
I was sitting in my chair playing card games on my computer when I decided to search about being lonely. I read many sad stories. At least I know I am not alone.

life of hell

so my life was pretty normal..up until 20-21...I had an ok childhood--yes a little abuse from family and depression big time but it was bearable. But when i hit 20ish...its like everything just began to go down the tubes, and ive been through 15 years of TORTURE, bad luck hell horror extreme suffering...just hell and nothing else. its like i was cursed or was and the curse began around that time and just went down to a roller coaster of horror for 15 years.. My life from then on was total ISOLATION...i couldnt make any friends ro meet anyone..people were mean to me...i did move to a different city but still, it was just so messed up. I tried desperately to make friends was very friendly but to no avail. no matter how hard i tried iw as ALWAYS alone... People would ban me from restaurants, gossip about me do horrible extreme things to me. My family also turned on me and my cruel mtoher destroyed my life legally financially and in horrendous ways...i cant get into the details but basically she put me through extremely horrific suffering for many many years--had me put on disability tricked me so she could receive the moeny and have 'control' over my life...she had me labeled, and did all this b/c she is a sociopath who wanted control over my life. i couldnt believe anyone could do this to someone and i had no clue what to do about it and still don't. I have to hire lawyers, and get justice legally but i would end up losing a lot since i rent in a place my dad owns and...

I am 24 years old. I had an amazing childhood, my family was wealthy, I went to a good school, had a mother and siblings that would do anything for me and vice versa. In my teenage years my father (who I had always viewed as such an amazing, strong and honest man) attempted suicide. Thankfully, he failed. After this incident it came to light that he was not so honest, my family and I where forced into witness protection as he had wronged alot of people (financially and through countless affairs, despite being married to my mother) and my father went to jail. My mother was left with 4 children on her own. She did an amazing job caring for us with what little we where left with. For years I thought I was fine and my fathers wrongs didnt effect me. As I get older I am starting to realise that since I never dealt with any of my emotions back then, they are taking their toll now. As I said I am 24, I have never been in a relationship with a man. I have had very fleeting flings but never even been on a date. Over the last 12 months I have developed an anxiety disorder and some days even going to the supermarket physically makes me nauseous. I used to be such a friendly and carefree person and now since I am so shut off I am unable to form any new friendships and my existing relationships are suffering. I am becoming obsesed with my appearance, agonising over every calorie consumed, consistently checking myself out in the mirror and forever wondering what people are thinking about me. Although I am aware of my increasing psychological issues, I am powerless to stop them.

My story will not look quite that bad but it's killing me nonetheless. I am a 23-years old expat. I've been living abroad for 3 years and I move very often. States, Europe, Hong Kong. By now I feel extremely lonely. I am healthy and sociable but all the people I meet in life stay for a while and then disappear because either they or I have moved. And the people I have back home, after 3 years have moved on. I have a best friend and he's always there so that's what keeps me sane. But my impossibility to develop a relationship is making me miserable. I tend to rush things, because I want things in the present, because tomorrow I may be somewhere else, and that scares people away and makes me look needy. It gets so hard sometimes... I'm far from suicidal but I think I am profoundly unhappy.

The Sound of Silence

I've never done this before. Really, I've never vented about how things really are. I'm in my mid-30's, a college graduate and live alone. Never had a relationship nor any close friends. I'm in debt to the tune of over hundreds of thousands of dollars due to my education and have very little money and no contact with my family. The bright spot of the day is when the mail comes. Literally, when a bill, or a credit card offer comes to my house with my name on it, it always feel like I exist in some way. I work alone and have very little contact with any co-workers. I've attended numerous concerts and movies alone. I always sit in the back of the theater due to being humiliated by being alone. I always look at couples and people who have someone with them and would deep down give anything for this. To be honest, I feel very isolated.

It seems I live in complete silence. Literally, I can consistently hear the clock ticking on my wall and at times, I forget what my voice sounds like. That's why I go to the movies alone, because I can actually hear my voice when I place an order at the snack stand. At the grocery store, I make an effort to talk to the cashiers, so I can hear my own voice. I tried to adopt a cat from a local shelter to have something to care for, but my allergies prevented this. Every day feels like an eternity. Literally, the days are very long. Some of you may think that you have no meaning in other's lives, but the mailman, as insignificant as it may seem, is one of the most important people in my life. As pathetic as this may sound, the mail gives me a feeling of importance ( ...my name is actually on something, therefore I exist to someone/somewhere).

As for this writing, I'm not saying my life sucks but living for countless years in complete silence and isolation tends to wear one's hopes thin. However, I do try to find hope in my small ways.

............

I'm an attractive 24 year old young woman. Growing up I've always been told how easy I'll have it because I'm pretty and smart, and I can do anything I want.. but I feel hopeless. I've never been so depressed and scared in my life. I'm single, I have a handful of "close" friends that I never see anymore.. Everyday I do the same exact thing, I go to work, I go to school, I come home and veg, smoke weed because it's the only thing that ironically keeps me from losing my mind; and I go to counseling. I have the hardest time making friends, I feel as if no one's interested in me, no one ever calls me, no one ever talks to me. I have a few old friends but they're all busy living their lives while I sit and wait for something good to happen to me. I'm constantly depressed and I never have anything to look forward to. When I try to socialize I get easily discouraged, I feel as if people mostly talk to me out of politeness. It's embarrassing knowing I don't even have one girlfriend I can call or go out for a drink with. Sometimes I feel like I live my life through others, and I'm just about to give up. I constantly feel lonely, I'm terrified of my future, I just don't think I'm capable of ever living a "normal" life. ....

I am so lonely it hurts

for 12 years, I have not had a relationship. I am so lonely, it is killing me. I cry so many nights and try to hang on. I have a good job that I actually like. I have friends. I travel and spend my free time with activities that I like doing. But I am not loved - loved as a woman should be loved. And would give it all just to have love in my life. I need a man to hold on to and give me the intimacy I crave. I am just so lonely and cannot find someone who remotely would consider being with me. I feel like I am not worth having someone in my life and it is hurting me so much. I feel like I don't deserve being loved. And this sucks...... I am sick and tired of crying. And don't know what to do anymore.

Lonely: student

I'm a 21 years old young woman, a student, obese and I feel very lonely. I know I have ''a whole life ahead of me'', but I feel lonely. I never really had any relationship with a man before. Not even a decent friendship, let alone a serious one. I long for a serious relationship, but I haven't met anybody yet. I've never fallen in love before. Yes, I felt butterflies when there was a ''at first glance potential'' person, but it never was possible afterwards. (With potential I mean age and vibe that might work, just less than basic)
The problem is, because I never had any looks, talks with someone potential as a partner (don't get me started on lusty looks from married 50+ year old men), I start feeling there is something wrong with me. I feel so much more ugly, I feel so much more stupid, just so much less attractive. All my friends have had or are in a relationship, yet I haven't at all and since men is all they can talk about, it hurts a lot. I'm dieting to get healthier, but I wasn't always this obese.

This is definitely not the saddest story, It's not even near the end of the world problem, but it still sucks. It still affects me, I'm still getting depressed at times. It affects my grades and future career quite negatively. Some advice to deal with it would be nice, Thanx.

what's the point?

I have tried so hard to overcome this feeling of self hate and worthlessness, but that's all I feel. I'm an 19yr old, high school drop out. I am so broke I can barely afford food. I work at a cleaning job that pays like shit and the pain it causes, adds on to my fibromyalgia pain. I have had a troubled past and some horrific memories that carry on with me everyday. So many regrets, the guilt, the pain, the depression. Its hard to live life when you feel stuck. I tried to end it all before, and that's when my life wasn't as bad as it is now. I feel so lonely. I have lost so many friends and so much I care about. I always try and change it around and try and make myself happy, but it doesn't last long at all. Why do we live like this? School then work until you're too old to work, then you die. What's the point of living when that's all that's coming out of life. Being a lesbian in a homophobic family doesn't help either. I already feel like I don't exist, so why try and stay to fake it? There's so much going on with me right now it would take weeks to write. I can't help the way I feel though. Who wants to live in constant pain, emotionally & phisically, everyday & everynight.. I feel so lost in myself. I don't know who I am, or what I want to do. I just want to be..gone.

I can't take it

My mother passed away last year, and the anniversary of her death is tomorrow. I act happy and cheerful and put a smile on for everyone else, but on the inside I'm crumbling apart. Sometimes it doesn't seem like life is even worth living at all. I can't find a purpose: I'm not doing well in school, I just lost my wallet, I'm afraid my sister will have to drop out of college because of financial reasons, my dad is an selfish ass-hole, and to top it off, I no longer have a mother. I don't know what to do, I'm confused, lonely, and depressed.

I\'m Tired of It

I'm tired of continuously acting like I'm happy for everyone else. I know that I'm, privileged, going to a private school, getting a good education, being surrounded by people who care about me, but sometimes I look in the mirror and I hate what I see. Last year, my mom passed away from ovarian cancer, it was a long, hard struggle and the whole time I felt completely alone. However, no one knows that sometimes I cry myself to sleep, thinking about how she's not there. My sister is in college and is living at home, she needs someone to cosign for a loan but my dad is refusing to, saying that it's more important that he gets out of debt. He doesn't care about my sister, my brother, or me, only about himself. My mom sacrificed everything to make sure we were happy, but all he cares about is his own well-being. I recently just lost my wallet, which had all of my school ids, giftcards, and items that even though on first glance, appear useless and unimportant, they actually mean something to me. I am just feeling empty and hallow. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my mother's death, making it a year since she passed. I don't know how to handle being this sad, being so depressed that all I want to do is just crawl away and hide and just get away from it all. Sometimes life just sucks, and sometimes I believe it's not worth living.

Can't take it anymore

I just can't take it anymore.It's like i'm invisible. Nobody seems to give a crap about how I'm feeling. To them, I'm just being silly. I'm just being stupid. I'll get over it. But, you know what, i DON'T get over it. The new inconsiderate thing doesn't replace the old one, it just piles on top. Just makes me feel that much more worse. No matter how many times you apologize, not that you ever bother, its not going to help. It's like if you take a piece of paper and crumble it up. No matter how many times you try to flatten it, no matter how many times you say "I'm sorry" it's never going to be the same. It's still going to be wrinkled and flawed. Thanks to you. Did you know that i talk to myself? I do it because it gives me a chance to imagine me having the perfect life. A life where i was popular and people actually cared if i cried and the teachers never forget my name. A life where people give a damn about what they say to me. Where they don't judge me or assume that they know me. Where I'm given a chance. "This year--I'll make it happen," I keep saying, but truthfully I'm just kidding myself. That's what i told myself last year. And the year before that. And the year before that. I wish it was as easy as the songs say. How i can just stand up and tell the jerks off. But it's not, if i do that, I'll be destroyed. Nobody would want to talk to the girl who spazzed at lunch. I hate my life. I hate my life and there's nothing i can do about it. I've prayed to God many times, but it never works. He never listens. I guess I'm invisible to him, too. So i guess that's just how I'll live and die. A lonely stupid invisible loser.

Scared

I'm 22 years old. I graduated from college a year ago and just got a great new job which I'll be starting next week. I have a boyfriend and a few close friends and on the outside, things seem to be mostly okay.
I have always struggled with depression and anxiety. I've had problems with both my entire life. My mother is bi-polar (as was my grandmother, when she was still cognizant of things) and would become manic and have psychotic breakdowns requiring hospitalization every few years throughout my childhood. I have never seen my mother hold a job. She is financially supported by my 96 year old grandmother who has advanced dementia and doesn't know who any of her family members are anymore. My father is terminally ill with emphysema and has been hospitalized four times in the past two years (three of those four in a span of about six months). We all live in my grandmother's house. Up until pretty recently, my father worked a regular job every day, but since his illness has gotten worse, he stays home and works part time from the living room couch and naps most of the rest of the day. My mother's entire side of the family suffers from mental illness and are difficult people to deal with. A lot of fighting, miscommunication, jealousy, shaming, and blaming goes on here. If that were all it was, it'd be easier to just hate everyone and not feel so emotionally attached, but there is a also a deep love and family structure underneath it all, despite how dysfunctional everyth...

I was just wondering if I am the only one who sits down with 95% of the population for any activity you can dream of with friends, family, or aquaintances, and feels a complete sense of disconnect or alienation. I've tried a technique of consciously making eye contact to feel somehow that our souls are in the same place, and sometimes it works but not as often as I like. Sometimes they all look like robots, sometimes, pieces of furniture. Occasionally I'll find a person there, and it'll make me overjoyed! Then somehow the connection you had is gone.
I smile, I laugh, I fake it all. People like a happy girl. Happy girls make a happy world. I just wish I could fool someone, anyone, just to have another friend. I fool people all the time for months even. I met a wonderful guy who thought I was perfection until he realized how deeply sad I was about life. What kind of person spends all day entrenched in deep depressing thoughts about the world and finds a sense of elation in that?
I slip into my mind and find solace in fantasy worlds, and try to treat life with a sense of marvel and often do, but I just wonder how many people straddle extreme feelings so often and who would ever want to ride that roller coaster with me. Are there any "feelers" out there? This world isn't very supportive of people like that, and it's causing me to feel like the world is trying with all of its might to suck out any sense of imagination there is left in my small brain. I'm fightin...

I have a huge fear of emotional intimacy and I’m too self-conscious to admit it. I have a lot of trouble sharing my feelings with other people and taking the first step in any type of relationship, either friendship or something more serious. I’m usually the guy that listens to other peoples problems and keeps their secrets and helps them when possible, and yet I’m simply unable to share my own problems.
I have a lot of trouble trusting people, which leaves me feeling empty, like I never really connect with anyone on a deeper level. All my relationships feel superficial, I feel like people only come to me when they need me. If I go away for a longer period of time I notice that people don’t keep in touch with me at all. This makes me feel rejected in an indirect way, I feel like I’m not interesting enough, maybe because I push people away and don’t truly share myself with others? Maybe if I shared my weakness with others they would help me break out of this mindset...

I’m currently in college and I feel like I’m doing well, I’m making a few new friends and we’re all having fun, I feel like they have the potential to become really good friends. However, none of us live in the same town, and when the holidays start I know we won’t keep in touch anymore. It has happened before. This thought terrifies me. Sure, everyone knows that most people you meet in college will never be your friends for the rest of your life, but it really hurts to lose the few friends that ...