| | Posted by Loser at February 26, 2012 |
i feel like if i dont get a girl soon im going to rape one. im 19 years old and have NEVER had an intimate relationship. im a fucking pathetic loser. all of the girls i ever tried to get rejected me . everyones always rejected me. this whole human race makes me want to puke. all of you disgust me with your made up rules of what you should and shouldnt do. you go around like zombies doing the same stupid ass repetitive thing every god damn day. you are pathetic . i am pathetic. i really want to crush all of you for what the scum bags you really are. your afraid to admit who you really are. you teach your kids to fear themselves and there desires at an early age. you work you eat you go to sleep. eat.sleep. shit. piss. you all make me sick.i ve tried and tried and tried again to get a girl i genuinely like but it always ends up the same way. me being an insecure little pussy and scaring the girl off. every. fucking. time. the only time i got a girl to stroke my dick a little was when i was "with" this fat ass manipulative ugly bitch.she kept on telling me we would have sex but never put out. she used me like the pathetic loser i am. so i cut that shit off. now the crazy ass bitch is in jail for assaulting her parents....on the outside i act good but in my heart im a real fucked up indiviudal. no one ever loved me. my dad wasnt there for me and my mom beat the shit out of me growing up from anything ranging from looking up porn to gettin bad grades in school.oh dont worry she always made it up by being a nice mom after words and saying how much she loved me. im a 19 year old sex less porn addicted ugly pedophile...who has the self confidence of a rock... who can ever love me ? |
| | Posted by Brucieee at February 26, 2012 |
Getting closer to me is the world's worst decision. If you meet someone and she tells you she see things in you, do not believe in those words. Everyone wants to show the better side of yourself, but in the end you'll only find broken hearts and blood everywhere. Every fuckin' time I meet someone.. always the same mistake. I don't follow my heart, only my mind. My heart says I don't want to be alone, I need someone to love, to hug, to wake up next to her and kiss her forehead and tell her I love you. But my mind is stronger, it says don't trust, don't believe, and finally.. you don't need anyone, being alone is more comfortable, more relaxed and easier. I promised myself to be alone and be strong to not fall in love. That's my story.. Forever alone. |
| | Posted by Brea at February 26, 2012 |
Well, when I was young my mum left my dad, but my dad had to beg her back coz he didn't want to lose me or my brother, because he knew she would run off with us. My mum accepted, but she said we weren't aloud to see my dads parents. But my dad snuck us to see them every chance he got. After rarely seeing my grandparents for three years, when I was nine, my dad had a truck accident. But we were finally able to see my grandparents again. But my dad had to go to court two yrs after. He got to come home. A week later we found out my dads case had been appealed, and my mum was leaving my dad again. I spent every weekend with my dad, but then we went one week on, one week off (I only liked it with my daddy) then eight Mnths later, dad went back to court, and he got a minimum of two yrs. He went to jail on my first day of high school, first day of yr seven. 2 days after daddy went to jail my mum was already making plans to run away with us so we couldn't see my dad, or his side of the family. She blocked my mobile, so I couldn't call my grandparents. And then a few days later , my dads brother turned up on our doorstep, bringing our motorbike gear over. I told him how we weren't aloud to speak to them anymore and while he and my mum were arguing, I packed a bag, and jumped in his car. Best thing I ever did. We had to go to family court (I wanted to live with my grandparents but the court wouldn't let me) so now I get to see my dad for a few hrs every second weekend. Hey, it's b... |
| | Posted by s dizzile at February 26, 2012 |
I hate my f'n life.
Somewhere I made a wrong turn and it's stunted my growth.
Everywhere I go people are happy to see me.
"You're a great friend"
"You're a wonderful listener"
"You're so funny"
"You're so brave"
"I wish I could be more like you"
"You're the person I feel closest to"
"You have to come, no one will have fun without you there"
So many BS things I hear all the time.
And after I'm done entertaining, making people happy, sharing my life adventures with them, ooo-ing and ahh-ing them with all the things I've done, the jokes I've told or the crazy dance moves I've invented, all I ever get is a see you next time.
This is my life. A life full of travel, career and adventure that others look to as some ultimate goal. They envy me.
But I am miserable. I chase travel to exotic lands and do the "crazy" things like bungee jump or run with the bulls in Spain because my life is empty. I walk home after every party alone with my thoughts. I come home and I cry. It sounds emo, but it is true. I have never had anyone love me. I don't have anyone to hug me. I don't have anyone who thinks of me. I am alone, watching all the people around me everyday who have love, who envy me without knowing what they have.
I try to resign myself to my fate. But I log for that feeling, that warm place that makes me feel bliss, but I have no one to put my arms around, I ... |
| | Posted by MM at February 26, 2012 |
wal mart,mcdonalds or the military? take your pick. i have a college degree,and i work 2 pt jobs for next to nothing. i scrap by,but life shouldn;t be so unfulfilling. i mean really!? i dont have "weekends" really dude? do you? my days off are staggered tuesday and satruday if im lucky enough. im drowning in debt and sick of the bullshit. there is nothing to look forward too,except getting loaded and stoned when i have time for that to forget the mundane bullshit of my so called life. i know alot of people are looking for work and its hard but its just really hard to keep putting a positive spin on things when no improvements seemed to be made. i work day after day,and on my days off i send resumes out looking for work! hows that for fun? day off of work and look for work! im gonna keep pluggin away and hope something good happens. thats all i can do... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 26, 2012 |
Don't know. Can't know. Always felt my life was shit. Don't know why. Tried to kill myself 4 times, not even at that i suceed. But don't know later been thinking death won't solve it. Nothing will solve it. I was born different. I wasn't born to be happy. I was born to make others happy. I'm Paggliacci. I deserve to suffer. So that others can be happy. Hope they are. I'm a rat. I'm crap. I'll be crap even if i die. So fuck it. I'll laugh about guess i'll laugh in the end of the world just as i was laughing as this guy had a gun pointed to my head as he robbed me. Life is a joke. My life is a joke. Your life is a joke. Diyng won't solve it. Nothing will solve it. I will always be a joke. But i will laugh about it. Not here for sympathy. Here to scream. Laugh. Cry. Hope you enjoyed it. Don't know what to say. I'm a rat. Kill me. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 26, 2012 |
i feel very lonley. i have a decent amount of friends but not close. i just feel empty inside. i put on a fake fucking smile everyday to hide what i actually feel. i cant go to sleep, i stay up to 4 am everyday knowing i have to wake up 4 hours later for school i keep thinking of dark thoughts that i dont want to talk about to anyone it sickens me how fucked up my mind can be. but i dont want to kill myself i really dont no how people do that. i try to enjoy life but sometimes i cant get away from this feeling and thoughts. and i am a teenager so people will think its a phase and i really hope it is. |
| | Posted by stayinglonely at February 26, 2012 |
ok so my life hasnt been overly terrible, i was born in new york and was raised there. growing up it was only my mom and my sister with me. we werent rich or anything and aside from myself none of us knew english well enough. my early life was entirely wake up go to school finish with regular school, and if my sister was not out of school yet go to some after school program until she came to pick me up. she is 5 years older than me so we were never really close in a sense of helping each other out with personal problems (relationships and friends). never got to play with kids my own age, or go to the park or any of the "cool" things kids do....unless it was during lunch time or school trips. always was shy since i didnt know much english and even when i did know enough english i had nothing to say other than the walls in my apartment are white and discuss what i had for dinner. when high school came around it was the same thing except i tried to experiment and decided i didnt want to be shy anymore. my mom was a good influence on knowing who to be friends with so i never got into the wrong crowd, but even when i was with friends i never felt i was actually part of the group. always tried to just stay on what their life dealt with rather than mine because mine was the same as always just watch tv, read and stay at home.i did end of getting a girlfriend in highschool but because of my insecurities i was dumped. i was able to go to college and yet again i attempted to try to... |
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| Posted by nothing at February 26, 2012 |
I really, really fucking hate my stepfather (I hate calling him that, but unfortunately, he is). He's the cause of about 60 percent (in case you didn't know, that's a large number) of my problems in my life. He's incredibly ignorant, he knows that I don't like him, yet he acts completely oblivious so he can make ME look like the bad guy. We all know someone that likes to do shit like that.He treats me like crap, he doesn't want to do anything for me at all and he treats his real son like royalty compared to me. His son gets everything in the world and he gets to sit in his throne, while I, the peasant, has to sit in the high chair. I know I've messed up a lot in school, making bad grades my freshman and sophomore year in high school, but now I'm a junior and I've tried as hard as I fucking could to improve my grades to get the asshole of my ass about it. I admit, I've got 2 F's, but I'm actually passing my other 5 classes with B's and C's. My previous years in high school, I've made all F's excluding PE, which I've got an A in lol. Anyway, my improvement, went unnoticed, he's quick to denounce me for my efforts saying that I haven't really changed at all. We all know someone that no matter what you do, you can't impress the son of a bitch. I do everything in my power to avoid him because I can't stand to see his face, just hearing his voice makes me sick. He'll often cry about that, once again asking my mom as to why I behave like I do around him, even though he knows the... |
| | Posted by amina at February 26, 2012 |
Im 19 with my own place and am a full time mom and student.. Not that bad right? Wrong. I grew up in foster care where I bounced around from group home to group home because my moms crack addiction and boyfriends were more important than her kids, I fell madly in "love" at 14 with my ex and got pregnant at 15 with my daughter who for unexplained reasons was born blind, with an underdeveloped cerebellum and hydrocephalus, so on top of trying to be 19 and a mom I have a million more responsibilities with a special needs kid and no parents to help or show me good parenting. My life has slowly started going down hill faster since last July, I got scammed out of my car, I failed a semester in school, my daughter has been in and out of the hospital, her dad rarely helps, my self esteem is shot because I've gone from 115lbs to 134 and can't get rid of it, my most recent ex put his hands on my daughter and got locked up, and even tho I reported it and removed him from the picture, people were judging me and writing horrible things about me online in blogs, now child protective services is up my ass weekly even tho I do everything for my daughter she has never wanted for anything in life an I make sure of that, I'm still paying for his mess up.. Every time I have a babysitter all I want to do is binge drink so I don't remember anything and can escape reality for just a moment, I think I'm ugly now, I feel lonely, and no one my age that I know has experienced anything remotely clos... |
| | Posted by sad_jay at February 26, 2012 |
I hate my job, my family, my marriage, and just life it seems. I live everyday hoping it ends instantly so my pain and everyday sorrow will end. My wife dosent care about me and would rather eat and sleep. My family only cares when they want money from me and i dont trust anyone. I havent been happy in over two years and it seems like i will never be happy again. Whats the point again? |
| | Posted by PityPartyPerson at February 25, 2012 |
I came here to vent feeling like my life sucks and after reading some of the pain and real suffering people here are going through makes me feel like even a BIGGER loser.....like I can't even have a good and proper fucked up life.
I have a decent job with a lot of stress, I'm continuously on the verge of anxiety about losing my job. I have a condo, and a 5 year old car with about 40K miles on it.
I don't have any friends because I tend to alienate people, I don't have any family besides my father and he's always been there for me financially. To this day he pays for my health insurance. No broken home. I was always loved and provided for, have a college education. I don't have a woman in my life because I'm over-weight and hate myself.
I think I probably need to go to some sort of mental counseling but procrastinate badly in most areas of my life. I am the boss at my job but none of my employees respect me, they do the minimum to keep their job and look at me like the loser I am.
Like I said I came here to vent and have a pity party and started reading about people that are on the verge of getting evicted and being beaten, dealing with addiction issues. So it looks like I can't be a loser correctly.
You know what fuck it, just skip this story I'm just a lame. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2012 |
1. im a 19 year old virgin
2. ive never had a gf
3. i've always been rejected by everyone
4. i was beaten by my mom up until the age of 18 for reasons ranging from not following directions going outside when im not supposed getting bad grades and too many other things to count
5. always been the bitch of the family who just takes it
6. i work my ass off but i dont get to keep ANY of my money . it all goes to the house
7. i have anxiety and im not sure whats happenened to my body
8. ive had at least 5 panic attacks at the job because of my anxiety but my mom wont let me quit.
9. everytime i go to work my anxiety seems to shoot up and it gets really hard to breath
10. i find young/teenage girls attractive so i guess im a closet pedophile/hebephile
11. the only girls that due find an interest in me are illegal or fat
12. i have no social life
13. i have no freinds
14. i have no social skills which keeps me from getting a normal girl freind in the first place
15. the most i can do with a girl is be nice to them a couple times before i withdraw from fear of rejection which ive experienced my WHOLE FUCKING LIFE
16. i wear jacked up fucking "Malcolm X" looking glasses
17. i have no nice clothes money or car to take a girl ....who would ever want to be with a broke ass guy like me?
18. my hair looks like shit
19. did ... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2012 |
no one knows that I'm so depressed. My life is not so bad, externally. I am not poor, hungry, stupid or alone.But I have hardly any friends. One is depressed, and one doesn't care about me. The thing that gnaws on me is my appearance. People don't treat me well because of how I look. I have acne, wrinkles already (I am a teenager!), and the worst thing is the hair.
Everywhere.
and I'm a girl.
It doesn't matter where I go or what I do, I'm constantly dampened by my horrible appearance. Sure I can work hard, get money, live in a big house etc etc. But that won't bring me happiness. Happiness primarily comes from relationships with people, friendships and partnerships. Doesn't it?
Without these relationships (and believe me, I try) what good is it. Even when I do go and do something with people I don't feel included because of how I look.
I know it seems trivial but it's actually not.
It doesn't matter what I do in my life, my ugliness will follow me.
Forever and ever.
So I think about suicide a lot.
that's all folks |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2012 |
This isn't my story but more of a bi*ch about life. Firstly, i wouldn't be on this site unless i hated life. I'm old enough to have gone thru a lot of sh@t and young enough to know theres worse ahead. Life has always been a bi*ch to me, i can't even remember a time when there wasn't a low point in it. Happiness makes a cameo appearance every now and then but is soon quickly snuffed out.
Life makes it hell for those who aren't fit or as good looking as actors. I mean who hasn't felt the sting of losing someone to a more good looking friend. Who hasn't been overlooked because they were too short or too fat? And who hasn't had the oh so indescribable pain of unrequited love?
Life seems to love kicking u while ur down and throwing salt into the open wounds, financial hardship, abuse, loneliness, darkness, emptiness.
Death is a welcomed friend and even he seems to not want me. I'm not scared of death, what happens after death makes no difference to me. Nothingness is still better than this.
Life is cruel and if it were possible i would make it suffer. There are no words that i could use to describe the amount of suffering i would inflict. I would have my revenge.
I know those who are reading this prolly agree or can relate. If so add a comment so that you let every1 know that life is an a**hole that treats you like sh@t too. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2012 |
So I've been in love for a while, with someone who I (I came to accept years ago) would never love me back. I've always felt guilty for loving him because I've been in a relationship with one of his extended family members for years... I always tried to let my feelings for him go, but I just never could.
Over the years, I watched him go out with other girls, and then I watched him have a kid with one. They started making wedding arrangements - then she decided she didn't want to marry him, and they broke up.
I guess he came to me on the rebound, and God knows it's wrong of me, but I flat out didn't care. I took whatever I could get from him... but I never fucked him. I didn't fuck him because I'm in love with him, and I knew he didn't feel the same way. I couldn't let him just take me like that and then send me back to my partner like nothing happened. That would have hurt me worse than having to watch him get married.
Anyway, I fucked it all up and now everything is shit. My partner found out what was going on, confronted me and now, half a year later, is under the impression that everything is fine and that I don't care about that guy anymore. So I'm basically in the same position I was before I started messing around with him, but the only difference is that I haven't talked to him since and it's literally killing me. I started doing hard drugs again, but now it's every single fucking day, so that I could just stop fucking crying and I'm p... |
| | Posted by lonelyguy at February 25, 2012 |
I'll preface that my life is probably not nearly as bad as a lot of people's... in fact, in a lot of ways I am pretty well off... I live in a wealthy family and my parents are still together. My problem comes in that really... nobody likes me, and the worst part is that I have a hard time understanding why.
First of all, I really don't share any interests with anybody. I like video games and spending a lot of time on the internet... and... that's about it (not that I have a whole lot of free time). I hate sports and I don't do drugs, smoke, drink, or party. I don't really even like television or movies (though I'd prefer that over going outside because it gives me an excuse to be lazy). However, even when I join gaming clubs or anime clubs... nobody wants to talk to me. I'll joke around with people and yet people just have no desire to be my friend. I'm not even fat or ugly (I'd say I'm like a 5 or 6 out of 10), so I don't really get it.
I've joined some dating sites and I'll message people, but almost never get replies (and if I do get replies you can tell they're just replying to be nice because it'll be like one tiny sentence that's kind of a nice way of saying they're not interested). I guess I just assume that a lot of girls who are more active wouldn't want to talk to me, so I don't bother messaging them. Heck, if the ones who say they like video games and anime aren't even replying to me, why would anybody else, either?
And even when I d... |
| | Posted by j at February 25, 2012 |
Ok so this is my story from going from riches to rags and what my future is now and what it could have been. I cant give every detail because it will be a book. So my Mom and Dad got divorced when I was real young. I was around 8. My Dad had a vending machine business which he had over 2000 vending machines. Money was never an issue during this time. Being a kid around this time was great. We celebrated all holidays and christmas was great as a kid. My brother and I was suppose to take over my parents vending machine business when we got older but my dad made bad decisions that ruined all of this. It all started when my dad started to beat my mom in front of my brother and I. It was very scary when this happened because we lived on a few acres of land and no neighbors and these beatings would happen at night where we had no where to run. My mother is a small vietnamese woman and my dad was pretty well built and he was a Marine officer in the military. My dad would hurt my mother by drgging her, cussing at her, throwing things at her, throwing her on the ground, picking her up by her throat against the wall, and I still remember the night when he pointed a gun to my mom's head and asked her what guns do to people when she was on her knees crying. When all of this started to happen my mom found out that my dad was having an affair with another woman. When all of this started to happen my sister (which is not related to my dad) told my mom that my father raped my sister over... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2012 |
I guess it all started when my parents got a divorce when i was 7! because my mom cheated like she did on her past 2 husbands! Then she moved me 2000 miles away from my dad, the only person who actually cared about me! she finally moved me back after 6 years away from my dad. i moved in with him and things were perfect! somehow she got me to move back in with her! BIG MISTAKE! all she does is sit in the basement smoke play poker and drink and not spend time with any of her family! She didnt even support me when me i got pregnant. I had a miscarraige which is the hardest thing to ever go through and the father ditched me and started dating someone else 2 days after i lost our baby! and noone is here for me! my best friends simultaneously got boy friends at this time so they all ditched me in my most time of need. this has been like 3 months ago and my mom is even more of a bitch than before. if i wasnt on color guard i would move so far away with my dad but i cant ruin this scholarship opportunity! all the guys that like me now have girlfriends.. idk i just feel like my life sucks soo bad! |
| | Posted by The strawman at February 25, 2012 |
I've grown up with what some may consider sick sadistic thoughts. I can't help it, its just the way I am. I use to sit and fantasize about killing other people. It became an obsession of mine I could not control it. When I turned 16 I met a man I wanted to kill. But the person seemed to be staring at me in the mirror. I hitchhiked one day and a guy named bill picked me up. He asked me to give him some head because he was a bisexual. I had my long white handled blade on me at the time. I said yes, sure thing, I'll suck you dry. He took me far out into the woods and he parked his truck. He slipped out of his pants and I did what he wanted. But after that I ran out of his truck like I was panicking. He ran to catch me and I collapsed on the ground. I took out my knife when he turned me over. The look of horror on his face was satisfying to me. I Jammed it deep into his chest. He was panicking to the point where he could not believe what was happening. I took his wallet and I walked home through the woods. That day started a hole can of worms for me. Since that day I've gotten 13 more. I met the woman of my dreams one day and we went bowling. I fell in love with her and we got married and had a daughter. Now that I am a family guy, I sit and ponder my actions. What if this would have happened to me? Would my daughter be okay without me? I have a sickening feeling rushes through my body. The pain, the hurt, the tears I've caused others. Life is sweet and so are people. People deserve to live with their families for the rest of their natural lives. There is not a day goes by that I don't think about the hurt I've caused, and I'm always on the verge of committing suicide because of how guilty and sorry I feel. The pain, the suffering, the tears. Should I die? The answer is yes, but I don't want my family to be without me. But that's the same thing I've taken away. |
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