| | Posted by Aria at February 25, 2012 |
When I was younger always dreamed of high school and cheerleading an how I would have a great boyfriend I never thought by today one month from my 18 birthday my grandparents that I loved more than anything would be dead or that my parents would have many affairs tell me and then tell me not to tell or that they would blow all there money and owe over 4000 dollars or that they would force me in the middle of my junior year to switch to online school so I could do my moms job so now here I am with no friends no senior year I work two jobs and am struggle to finish school on time but like it matters cause they left me with no money for college I once was confident an had so many friends now I am scared to talk to people because I am now about 40 pounds over weight I feel so unloved I don't even no if I should post this I just need to get my feelings out I known people have it worse off then me but I just feel like no cares if I'm here or not |
| | Posted by Dav at February 25, 2012 |
some times i wonder why people treat people so badly. life is hard enough. i'm so tired of thre control issues. the people that i have had in my life are only happy when i give them my unconditional love, meet their selfish needs. to go into my life story you would wonder why i haven't just ended it. the only reason is i found out God really does love me. He's real, and he loves all of you too. I have no home of my own, no car, no job yet, i choose to remain hopeful. It's not what you are but who you are that counts, so when your alone talk to God. He hears. Ask him to show you that he is real. I know in my heart things will turn around. build people up don't brake them down. If your like me it's seems that the whole world is a cruel place. Just remember you are uniqely and wonderfully made your one of a kind and no one can take your heart. I might be lonely and feel like crap but someday this piece of crap is going to do good things in this world. maybe i'll share my broken heart to mend other broken hearts and we can just love oneanother. my life has sucked but maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Hope is still alive. There is always tomorrow, choose to believe that your life will be better. I pray all of our lives will be better. I'm going to try to imagine a new life for myself and I'm going to pray God touches all your lives for the better. I only know it is better to live in truth than live a lie. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 25, 2012 |
Don't get me Wong I have a great life compared to most on this. I have many friends, a good family, guys interested in me, and good grades. The problem is I don't care. I don't give a fluff about me. I'm just one of the seven billion people on this earth. In a few years, after I die no one will remember me. No one will care about one girl who died, I wouldn't have helped or saved anyone.. I just want to help this earth, not use up it's resources. I want to do memorial things, maybe not that the whole world would know, just one single person would satisfy me. I also really want to help animals. But I really have no way to do these things. I believe life is pointless. It really is.... I hate it.
What should I do? |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012 |
I think my title says everything, the worst thing i have ever done (I have done some bad things over my time of being alive) is betrayed my bestfriend, I I feel so shit, now a lot of my friends are giving me a hard time and there is noting i can do about it, because it's all my fault. I dont expect people to feel sorry for me, because i know i have done wrong, but i cant help but feel sorry for myself. In school i get bullied, because of the way i look, and im not going to lie, it brings me down, i know people say words cant hurt, but they do. I'm fat, and a girl, that isnt a good combination. I'm not attractive, yet i still manage to get the one person my friend likes, which i didnt wannt but just happened. I never want to go near boys just because of what happened, but i've never had a boyfriend anyway, so i dont think it will matter. I'm not cool. I'm not pretty. I'm not skinny. oh and pervs like me. Brill.
I'm also depressed. Like properly, I can't handle my emotions, and i need anger management, I can't handle my anger and it scares me and the people around me. I hate it. I wish i could be someone else, or even just somewhere else. Anyone want to help me? |
| | Posted by Rubi at February 24, 2012 |
I’m 17 and already hate my life, my problems seem like nothing compared to other peoples but I can’t cope with what’s happening in my life right now. I cant remember when things started turning down hill but it was sometime in high school, I found out I have dyslexia (so sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar errors) and I started to have anxiety attacks and my friends from junior school started to faze me out and bully me verbally this caused my self-esteem and grades to plummet. Thankfully I made friends that were going through some similar or worse problems than me, I tried to help them as best I could but slightly selfishly helping they helped me ignore my problems. About midway through my school career my parents separated and my dad moved out into a flat not far away, so I would stay with him for 3 days out of every week. I wasn’t upset or even effected apart from getting moved from pillar to post every week, I just didn’t and still don’t care. Sadly my anxiety was getting worse and I had no idea on how to prevent it and that combined with the verbal abuse I was getting caused my attendance to drop dramatically to the point the school were getting involved and that only made things worse. not long after my dad had left my mother started treating herself to designer gear and remodelled the house (it look horrible) and about 2 months practically moved her new boyfriend in, I get along with him, he’s nice, but my mother didn’t introduce us and acted like I was an e... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012 |
When I was 5 my parents got a divorce, I was left to live with my mother who was alcoholic and schitzophenic because my father had a vescetomy after my older brother. we lived off social security dissability and my mother frequently broke the bank for alcohol, cigarettes, and occassionally drugs, to include money i put in my piggy bank or received from other family for holidays. She was in a cult which she later became a senior member/leader of that taught that your elder in the cult was essentially god. so i was brainwashed at a young age not to tell others my problems and what happened to me was alright. This one time my dog died and i was told she had brought the wrath of god upon me as punishment for sneaking out to rollarblade with friends. i was a slave, cooking cleaning and building a house in the woods by the time i was 9 while my mother sat there drinking beer and occassionally throwing the bottles at me and insulting me.
i made it through high school with good grades and even became a captain of the football team despite having no one to take me to practice. my senior year i was finally fed up with my mother and poured a case of beer down the sink and told her that what she was doing was wrong. she left and i called an anonymous tip to the police that there was a drunk driver on the road. instead of going to get beer she went to the police station and reported that i was going to shoot everyone at my school. i was arrested and the only thing that saved my... |
| | Posted by abitamike at February 24, 2012 |
I have a spare bedroom and bath in my home. So if you are in a bad or unsafe situation, or scared and homeless. Whatever the case may be then get ahold of me and lets see if there is something I can do. abitasprings@hotmail.com
My home is on an acre of land with plenty of room for flower beds and veggie gardens.Fantastic school district, has cable tv, wireless internet,it is located in a safe area and kid friendly.
So lets help each other out. I have a decent job M-F 7-4. But still tough making ends meet as well as keeping up with the house.
Thats where you come in. I would like for you keep our home clean, organized and help me around the house. Can you balance a check book? Great because I sure cant..LOL. Here is the deal. I realize that I can no longer do it all on my own. I am tired of being alone. And struggling day to day. And your in need of help so lets pool our resources. If it flourishes into a realationship that would be great.
Sure it would be nice if we can get you a part time job in the area so you can eventually help pay say the utilities bill's. But lets not worry about that now. Lets get you and yours to a place that you feel comfortable, wanted and needed.
I really need someone trustworthy and not on ANY drugs/booze/and DD free. I am divorced man, with joint custody of two great kids. Boy 9 Girl 7. They are my life.
Home comes with a play room for the kids and a treehouse in the front yard as well as... |
| | Posted by I M TIRED at February 24, 2012 |
Been working since I was 11. Now at 53 thought I could start to relax. Not the fuckin case. I have less than $5K in the bank and unemployed. Savings are diminished in 2 months or so. I can't find decent employment because of a drug position charge over 25 years old. WHAT THE FUCK!!!. I see I will be working (or not) till the day I die. LIFE SUCKS....IMTIRED... |
| | Posted by Sk at February 24, 2012 |
Im a 29 year old associate degree grad unemployed man. My mom and my gave me all they money for a 4 year university and all i did was get associated degree and that took me 6 years. I am lazy and do know what to do. All my life i have been a hopeless romantic and finally thought i fell in love with a girl and that too turned outto be a mistake. I married her and took her to newyork to live with me ( she was back home in bangladesh)and now she has become so rude to me, let alone loving me. We lived in new york and cuz of her abusive behaviour i left new york and came homevto bangladesh where my family was. Since im not a bachelors degree grad i cudnt get a job here too. And my parents blame for wasting the money. Now 29 with no money no degree no love. I am such a loser, i fucking hate myself. |
| | Posted by joe at February 24, 2012 |
I grew up poor my entire life, however my parents raised me in a very expensive city (renting a crappy house), it has actually been named the most expensive city to live in, in North America. I was told that as long as I work hard, and get myself educated, I will have success in life. Considering the fact that my family was poor I had to sacrifice a lot of life during my undergrad. Never got to go away on trips, rarely ever went out with friends (cost), and always had to worry and stress about the piles of student loans that were accumulating. However I was a great student, and was on my way to great things, until my health took a hit. It turns out that my body is prone to autoimmune diseases, where the immune system thinks that parts of your body are actually foreign, and creates an antibody to destroy it. The summer before I started 3rd year of my undergrad after transferring from college, my body attacked and destroyed my Thyroid Gland. For 2 whole years I was living my life with almost no thyroid hormone which completely ruined my undergrad. I was not myself for years, and everything that I was once able to do, I wasnt able to do anymore. My strengths weren't strengths anymore. I was nothing anymore. In order to apply to the many jobs in my field, you either have to already have experience in the field, or have spectacular marks. The hypothyroidism was affecting every aspect of my body, including memory, and cognitive function. I couldn't apply for any jobs because I didnt even meet the minimum required cutoff for marks, and now its been almost a year since I've graduated and I still have no job. And my parents are still poor. All those years of sacrifice for nothing. I could have just worked all those years, made money, and truly lived, and enjoyed life. |
| | Posted by Mustapha at February 24, 2012 |
I'm worthless. As long as I remember, I had nothing to live for. My old man even told me himself that I was a mistake, I wasn't planned. I was molested at the age of 5 by a prostitute that my father brought home with him. I was a fat kid throughout my childhood and teenage life. In fact I havent completely lost the entire weight. I never had friends and I was an emotional eater. Food became sanction agains the outside world. I never cared much for the ideals, Values, thoughts of other people. I was such an innocent young boy. But life wouldn't have it that way for long. Through years of systematic child abuse and negligence I've grown hateful and cynical. Until now. I'm 20 of age and I could care less if the entire world were to be engulfed in flames. In fact, I think I would love to set it afire myself. I hate everyone and everything. I have no friends, No family and no future. Im flunking in college as well. Cant't say that matters much now anyways. I dont intent to live very long. I'm still a virgin by the way and I never had a proper girlfriend or companion. The first woman that showed any interest in my life crushed my heart and left me bleeding at the sides. The second woman which also showed minute interest in my worthless existence just made out with another guy and completely crushed any hopes that we would be together. There...The grand scheme of my romantic life. The only 2 women in my entire life have completely destroyed my soul. That is to say, What's left o... |
| | Posted by LYNN at February 24, 2012 |
My name is lynn I felt like nothing not even human when in June 2011 I had my business hacked into, my cat of 15 years who is my baby died electicuted and posioned, my last relative my mom died of cancer 8 years ago and disowned me before death never told me when she died and gave her ashes to her best friend. I am now alone my business is 90% dead, had to move I am homeless for 8 months had my car repocessed three months ago and my computer had a virus 7 months ago and died sold a new computer for only $80 to pay for two nights at a motel to stay off the streets. I have 7 disorders of the skin and two cancers. Get no help money wise or housing from the State was even rejected by local Ct shelters. My credit rating went down 250 points in 8 months have $7000 worth of bills while I was homeless car repocession is $4800 and cable, utility, and many more. Wrote 20 letters to talk shows and CEO's for help no help no response. No friends, no family, no job, no car, no hope, and no good health. I am ready for a miracle thank God and the angels I found miracle healing institute it cleared my blocks, bad karma, hard learning lessons much of it is free or discounted my life is now hopeful and better without any effort. I am attracting good and attracting the right people. My health cleared in 21 days all health problems are gone....I hope I have even more good news soon I will keep you updated.:}love |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012 |
I am 19 years old. And everyone I have ever loved in my entire life is dead. I'm not exaggerating.
My baby brother died when I was 10. We were playing down by the lake like we always did, and he fell in. I didn't know how to swim, I was scared of the water. I remember watching him struggle to stay afloat and I was screaming at my parents to come and help. But they were in the house and it wasn't within earshot of the lake. Finally he stopped struggling and just disappeared, I jumped in, I couldn't stand by and do nothing, that was the moment I taught myself to swim. I dove underneath and tried to open my eyes to look for him but the water was muddy and I couldn't see anything. I was crying so hard that I could barely breathe even when I was above water. I finally managed to grab his hand and pull him out. My parents had seen what was happening by then and ran to help. I can still here my mom screaming. She just wouldn't stop screaming. When the ambulance came he was pronounced dead at the scene, he was just six.
My parents died 5 years later in a car accident. It was raining and they skidded off the road and over bank. My father died instantly but my mom didn't. I was called out of class in school to be told what happened. They took me to the hospital where they had my mom on bypass. I got to say goodbye to her, but her injuries were too severe for her to survive. I don't know how I managed to get through that. The called my aunt to come and help me t... |
| | Posted by jrl23 at February 24, 2012 |
I'm 19 years old and have absolutely no family. I'm not suicidal, nor have I ever thought about it. My mom left me at 4. I've never met my dad, let alone a hint. I lived with my grandmother uniformity she passed away. So I lived in foster care from 14 till 18. I dropped out at 16 and got my g.e.d, and started working. I have a decent job but its frustrating. I don't fuck with with people. I don't consider people my friends. Fuck friends there bullshit. Bitches make me mad too. I mean, getting layed is not a issue, it's trying to find love. I mean no one loves me!!! No one. I'm all alone. It made me angry, made me hate people. I fucking hate people with families. I'm broke as shit cause I have to buy all my shit! I hate people with parents. Especially ones with money that pay for all thier shit. I try to find the good in life there's just so much shit I don't have that others do. I'm so alone. I want to be loved! Why me!! I know a dumb bitch won't love me. I'm talking about the real shit. Unconditional love. I always think why me. It rages inside me. If there is a god I'm pissed off at his ass too. I doubt there is though, I've prayed so much when I was younger and nothing happened. I know ill never have a family and ill probably never be shit. Too many disadvantages. I mean no one understands the pain. To be absolutely alone at my age. It's unfair. If you have a, as in 1 family member your fucking blessed! Families disgusting me now. I hate all that shit. Cause ill never have it. I honestly have no fucking clue what life has in store in for me. But I guarantee it will suck ass and I'm won't be able to see what good shit is there, because of all the shit I don't have that I'm reminded of everyday by you motherfuckers. So big thanks so everything, if gods ass exists then him too. Im just so angry all the time. I fucking hate everything. |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012 |
I sent my mom to prison for child abuse when I was 12 years old. My mom was kind of a fucked up lady when I was a kid. (I'm 30 years old now). My mom was in prison for 7 years. They diagnosed her as bipolar.
She never did any lasting damage. She slapped me a bunch of times, but nothing left a mark. She would do really crazy shit though. One time in third grade, the teacher said I had said this word that meant bastard. The word was gotsen, gotson, fucking I don't know! It was something that sounded like that, and I swear I didn't say it. Here I am trying to think really fucking hard about what happened that day in the 3rd grade, and I can't even think of what word I was accused of saying. I tried googling it, too. No luck. But the teacher said I said it, that mysterious word. I think it started with g and ended with n... maybe. My 3rd grade teacher confronted me about it, and at 7 years old had no god damn idea. I remember having no idea, and there I was with casts on both legs because my Achilles tendons were too short, explaining prefixes and suffixes to my teacher before I even knew what those affixes were about. I reasoned how maybe my voice had mixed with another student's voice and somehow this word that I can't currently even google the definition of got misinterpreted but heard by the teacher. I was innocent and just trying to prove myself innocent, regardless of the rules of grammar, regardless of punctuation, and regardless of whether ... |
| | Posted by Trevor at February 24, 2012 |
What is the point of doing good in high school? Everyone wants the exact same thing for their kid, for them to get better grades than everyone else, to have more money than everyone else. I'm just expected to go to college and get a CAREER not even a job, a lifelong career. Careers aren't natural our ancestors performed a variety of unpaid tasks necessary to their survival and spiritual health It's disgusting how quality of life is measured by money and material goods. I could honestly hunt and forage for my food. I know everyone thinks "Oh that's bullshit you NEED money to survive" no you fucking don't money is a human creation, Just like "private property" i have NO respect whatsoever for "private property" what makes you think you have the right to own land? There's honestly too many people on earth. People need to stop having children. If the population was smaller everyone could live and have whatever they wanted (not that material goods matter)
There is no absolute objective purpose to life, only YOUR PERSONAL subjective purpose. Mine is emotion and spirituality, i am going to do everything that makes me happy, makes me experience the beauty of the world. Hedonism is just as stupid as materialism, they both leave you sad and empty. The only thing that will ever come close to fulfilling you is emotion.
Telling children to "grow up" is the biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard in my life. Why do you think you have the right to destroy a child? Chi... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012 |
I never met my father. I have his name but don't even know what he looks like. He left before I was born.
I was molested from ages five to seven by two of my older cousins. I remember thinking that one had peed in my mouth one time. Of course now that I'm older, I know what really happened.
I reached out for help but never got any. I guess I chose cowards. I remember praying to God and crying myself to sleep every night. Praying that things would change. They didn't though. This is how I discovered there was no God when I was six.
When I was 11 I told my step dad that I wanted to be molested. That I wanted him to molest me. Though he didn't, he didn't do anything to help me. I told my teacher what had happened with my cousins. I was really depressed and lonely and I felt really bad because I thought I was gay. She was going to let me see the school counselor. I told my mom but she told me that my cousins could get in trouble and I should tell the teacher never mind. I stopped reaching out after that.
I spent middle school and high school and up till the age of 23 completely alone other than my "family". I've never been to a party. I've never been to a bar or club. I've never gone out on the weekend with friends. I've never had a birthday party or done anything for New Year's.
My first suicide attempt was at 21. I dropped school and work. I was so deeply depressed that I stopped leaving the house for a year. I eventually got st... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 24, 2012 |
I am 32 years old and feel so frustrated with life. Ok so here's how things got so bad:
The youngest of 5 children with 2 brothers and 2 sisters ranging from 9-13 years older than me. I had a normal family life but suffered at the hands of bullies for most of my school years. I am not a nasty person and could not understand why they wanted to hurt me. I drifted from friend to friend as I found it difficult to trust people. Anyway I left school and went on to college and life seemed to pick up. I have had 4 long term relationships and been engaged 2 times. But each time the relationships went wrong. Each time I have questioned why they did not work out.
At 28 I bought my own flat as I was ready and could afford to do this. I hoped that by living on my own I could enjoy a successful relationship without the interference of my parents. Unfortunately I have not had a proper relationship since.
2 years ago my eldest sister was diagnosed with cancer and passed away 6 month later. It was the hardest time of my life. She was 42 and a single parent leaving behind 3 boysaged 19, 17 and 6. My parents live separately my dad in the marital home and my mum at what was my sisters home bringing up my sisters children. My mum has relied upon me since. I resent my remaining siblings as they are not there to support. I only hear from them at birthdays and Christmas as they are all married with families of their own.
In the November after my sister die... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 23, 2012 |
Hey I read a lot of what people have said and can relate alot to how some people feel on here. I'm a 28 yo guy in england. I'm in really good shape, love sports particularly kickboxing and swimming. I also at one point was fairly well off due to some compensation I had for a shoulder injury in a hospita..
I came to Uni about5-6 years ago. I had a respectable job and a gf who loved me. But I left the job as it was violent ( I ran a pub) and I didn't really connect anymore with my gf so I left her (I'd decided I didn't really love her, possibly the only move I still stick by, i didn't love her and it wasn't fair). Anyway I made some new friends at uni and I had a new and exciting life. Within 6 months my life became an endless orgy of drugs and booze and it seemed fun at 1st. The problem was I couldn't stop it at will, none of me or my friends could, we became jaded, we stopped being able to make new friends, we stopped going out and being social, the drugs and booze didn't stop. I used pretty much all my compensation feeding my filthy habits, I got several jobs whilst I was at uni (only shitty ones) but I lost them all for being waisted or getting waisted and then just couldn't be arsed going in. I began to feel very depressed (this was2-3years down the line), as I didn't seem to be able to talk to ladies or get a girlfriend. I tried to be more social but found it made me uneasy, worse still my friends were very similar and still are, so no1 could lea... |
| | Posted by anonymous at February 23, 2012 |
My life has always been a living hell, my childhood was horrible, and I can't remember one happy memory from it at all, I was always chubby so in school I was bullied and traumatized, every, single, day. School was HELL, pure hell.
Until I dropped out at the age of 14 because I couldn't handle it anymore. At home I had 3 older brothers who always bullied me growing up, a father who didn't think girls should go fishing with him and my brothers every night, I was suppossed to stay home and do chores. I had no friends, not one. At age 14 my oldest brother produced a child, then went to prison for drugs, and his flake of a gf left the child with my parents. Well, my mom had to work, and my father had more "important" stuff to do than to raise another child, so guess who got to be the "babysitter"?. More like a mother, I had to take care of her every single day, and play the role of a mother, and housekeeper, at age 14, until I was 21 and finally moved out, My teenage years waisted raising my brothers kid, playing mom and housekeeper, and chatting on the internet with my "only friends". In which one hellacious online dating relationship with a married man scarred me for life. So there I was, an emotionaly fucked up, 300lb teenager, diagnosed with depression and bi-polar, and social anxiety disorder, alone, no friends, parents didn't want me, raising someone elses kid, God hated me, I was sure of it. fast forward a few years and now I am married to a man who is 20yrs older t... |
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