LIFE SUCKS : 2010 May

life as a human is incredibly meaningless

i dont really no where to start but im 20 now. i enjoyed my life when i was a kid as u have no understanding of what life as a human really is. i was happy till i was 10 n then all of my family got ill includin me, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1997, my dad got diabetes and my sis got anorexia. i had somethin called M.E which is fatigue syndrome. i struggled in scool and to get involved in social aspects of being young. my mum passed away when i was 14. i had to be strong at the start as my sis went into a deep depression and my dad needed some support. i was goin to college but i couldnt concentrate for very long n i wasnt happy. i always felt better when i was goin home cause i could be with my dad n my very special dog who i got so close to, but she died a year ago. i havent got a job n im very depressed bout life, well let me put that a different way i love life but i hate the people in charge n i hate bein human n havin to live under pressure all of the time. life is not meant to be like this. were brought up to understand bout how were supposed to be, were meant to go to scool n then college to qualify for somethin we want to do with ourselves for money. we will then go to the job centre for money so we can survive not live as we cant find a job. were the one n only species that live our life like this. i find it pathetic. i love other animals as they no how to live to their potential where as us we dont get anywhere near that because were not allowed to. im not quite sure of what the meanin of living on this beautiful planet as a human is.

Eh

I was born to an upper-middle-class family in a nice town. I went to a good high school and I now go to a good university. I have a sweet girlfriend. But, everything in the context of that life has gone wrong. My luck is pretty consistently rotten. I am always in the wrong place at the wrong time. People in my life lie. Those who I thought I could depend on aren't really so reliable. I live in a worthless, passionless, Wonderbread™ existence. My life garden-variety-sucks. I watch time go by and there is nothing here for me. I am 20, but I feel like an old man.

I often contemplate suicide

I have no friends. No one who cares. I graduated from college with awesome debt and couldn't get a job. I am fat and useless. I go to grad school but it sucks and I cant get motivated to do anything. I think about suicide nearly daily. It is hard to get out and do stuff because I have a severly disabled daughter that can't do alot of things. My marriage sucks. I spent most of my birthday with my wife's mother and grandmother. I know it sounds selfish, but I hated spending my birthday doing stuff for other people, but I felt if I had said somethin I would have sounded like selfish bastard. But it would have been nice to do something i liked for my birthday. I have shit load of work to do before tomorrow and i am screwed because i had to visit other people.

Love is pain....she won't stop

Ok I'm 16 but I feel in love with this boy when I was 14 I meet him at a fair across the street from my house and everyday after school he would come over and we would talk I didn't know much about how his like social life was with his friends and stuff but turns out his bestfriends sister is in love with him and get this she was 18 and he was 14. So basicly when we got really close and started chillen with him and his friends it became almost impossible bc he was always with his bestfriend and she was always with them bc she wanted to be with him. So everytime we went to hang out she told him she didn't want him with me and somtimes he listened and I really don't no why. She would always rite him letters saying how unperfect I am for him and how perfect she is for him like really bitch get a life. But she wouldn't stop she would always text him and call and everythme they went somone she would ride in the car to just be with him and I mean I guess it might be a little different if they hadn't fucking done shot I mean he clams he doesn't like her and that she's ugly but I'm a girl and she's not ugly I mean she's not drop dead gorgots but she's also not ugly so I no that a lie anyways so they drank together one night and ended up doing shot but I won't get into detail. So ya they also have done shit together so that makes matters much worste he says it doesn't mean anything but it shows me it does bc all the letters she wrote him yah he kept them... I mean he kept mine too...

Life Seems to Go Wrong all Because I dunno What I am even Doing, dont know how to live life properly

life sucks. had an abusive boyfriend who used me for all of my money. he taught me how to commit fraud as well. i lied to my parents to get money and cried to them when he'd hit me and mentally abuse me. he was ashamed of me because of my race, hes called me racist names and said his friends make fun of him. he is 29 though and still living at home with parents and his brother and sister in law. we broke up. dad treats me like garbage, only had dad in my life...mom is mental case and abuses meds cuz my brother was killed. shes been abusing meds since i was little and dad took custody of us. he treats me like crap, mocks me, taunts me for being poor. he sends money here and there, sometimes sends nothing and i have no food to eat. i starve for weeks sometimes.i have a BA degree, spent all time in college being sad and depressed, and w/ abuser. i could not carve out a career, too busy being sad and on antidepressants...tried to die and almost did. had liver failure, was raped and police did nothing because i was drunk. i said no to man who did it though, i remember saying no and he even admitted now that he did it. he got away with it. i feel like a slut who deserved it. I dnt talk to anyone now, everybody uses me, friends too so i am afraid to trust cuz i dnt wanna be hurt anymore. i stay alone in my room looking for jobs on craigslist all of the time. nobody hiring me, not enough experience. and the fraud, now i cannot use my debit card for 6 months, its humiliating. i ...

suffer from depression, been through a lot, had multiple suicide attempts. my stomach was pumped, given charcoal, i even got liver failure.

i ended up w/ an abusive boyfriend who brought self esteem so low, he'd beat me and say i was ugly. he'd use up all of my money. i couldnt leave because i had nobody. my brother was shot and killed too and my abusive boyfriend didnt care or sympathize. he just took more of my money and kept abusing me.

i managed to finish college and get my Bachelors of Arts. i kept pushing on believing things would be better. i stopped seeing that boyfriend and stopped taking antidepressants, stopped seeing therapist. I havent had a suicide attempt in a few years now. i feel it was the meds making me want to die even more. i think about dying now, but never put plan into action like i used to when i was on meds. i try hard to just deal with life, good and bad. i try soooo damn hard to make things work for myself.

its hard because i rely on my father financially, and getting help for depression has cost so much, college costs a lot too. my father treats me like crap, like a bum. im looking for work very hard, but i dont have enough experience. i owe a lot of money too and my father sometimes doesnt even send money and i starve. I cried to him before, "daddy i am so hungry" and he did not care. he isolated me from family and kept me reliant on him...my friends have used me and now i have none. I am afraid to trust anyone o...

endless downward spiral....

so im now in my mid 30s, always worked for a living... about 2 years ago my job closed down, and ever since all ive been able to find are jobs for $8/hr part time, did i mention i have a college degree??? im in the process of filing bankruptcy, losing my house, and my car got repoed while i was in the hospital... and now im pregnant with a high risk pregnancy, not allowed to work so i have absolutely no money, living with my bf in a delapated trailer that would be condemned if inspected, and have no control over anything in my life. to add insult to injury, my bf is married to someone else... he promised he would be divorced before the babys born,but we all know that isn't gonna happen... he hasn't seen her in over 6 years, but has excuse after excuse not to get divorced. in a matter of a little over a year i went from being a professional in control of all aspects of my life to a trailer park princess living off the mercy of a married man, wondering every fucking day what the real reason is that he wont get divorced, and whats gonna happen next... i don't think i can fall much further down the spiral, but im sure another bomb is waiting just around the corner for me.

Life is miserable

I'm 16 i have a Mum who fucking hates, my Dad is my favourite person in the world but he has Cancer so he's hardly ever around, my two best friends just left school, one of them is joining the navy and the other one is 31 weeks pregnant. Also my boyfriend is joining the army and he only just told me yesterday that really fucked me of cos we have been together for 2 years and he didnt even disscus it wiv me, so my life is pretty shit at the moment so i hope it improves sometime soon. :(

Trying to find somethng to life for.

I have felt like something is missing my whole life. I was told that it would go away in time. I didn't have it so hard growing up, I played football and was popular. I had a great youth. It just takes a while to realize that none of it is real. It's only as the years go on that life begins to get worse. I'm now 28 and I just lost my job bar tending. In the last year my closest friends have all left for other places and I'm all alone in this god damn city. That isn't so bad its the waking up day after day without a purpose. Its the waking up without adventure or any real excitement. The only places that I find those things are in my dream while I sleep. I have never understood how so many people wake up and go to a job they hate to pay for a place that they are never at. I can't live like that. Their is no meaning in it. I know some of you are going to tell me that's the way of life....If so its only because that's all you see. I would gladly give my life to be apart of something meaningful. Lately I can't seem to pick myself up from my bed. I feel ...... I don't know. I try to think of better days.

no love no life

I'm 23 years old male and I'm a computer nerd since around 15 years. My life is superboring and I have no joy of it at all. I lie to myself that everything is ok and someday I'll get a girlfriend and I'll be happy, but that's not true. I've never had sex. I've never even kissed a girl. Every valuable girl at my age or even 3 years younger is already in a happy 2-4 year relationship.

I'm so ugly that people sometimes laugh at my look. I tried to change that with personal shopper and gym, but it doesn't work. I'd love to die and start a new life in which I would not be ugly as fuck retarded nerd that spends most of his life in front of the computer.

I want to be a normal person and it's too late for that. Hopefully someone will kill me or I'll die by an accident, because I still deeply believe that everything will be ok so I don't think seriously about commiting suicide.

to live or not to live

i'm clinically depressed. i tried medication but stopped cuz i cancelled my health insurance. it didn't work anyway. i have social anxiety disorder which causes nausea in anxious times. i feel like i'm always the outcast in life. i'm the middle child, i was born with several defects (heart murmur, visible birthmark on my face, cyst on the side of my head), being a minority of a minority (i speak a different dialect of chinese), i turned out gay, always the smallest guy, super shy esp. when i'm depressed.

i didn't have many friends growing up, i was the kid no one wanted on their team in gym class, my mom tried to give me away to my uncle one time, i'm not close to my family at all. my siblings and i have distanced each other over the years, and i can only have superficial conversations with my parents cuz their english sucks (my chinese sucks too). my parents think that love is money. in a way, they kind of live their own separate lives too, just give us food, just the necessities. i get so jealous whenever i see a father and son moment cuz i never had any of that.

my parents are now bankrupt and they maxed out all my credit cards. i foolishly co-signed 2 student loans for my sis who has now withdrew from classes, now in repayment status and she won't work. they're defaulted so my credit is shit. i got into a fight with her so i ain't paying for that shit. i want to move out but now i'm afraid they'll require a credit check. i feel like i'm stuck in lif...

I'm cosumed with everlasting hatred

I fucking hate women i have never had a girlfriend. i want one so fucking god damn bad. they dont notice i exist. it's probably because i have zits, glasses and weigh 198 pounds. i have also been bullied because i'm differant. i am bullied by all the fucking jocks and preppies. they are the scums of the earth. i have no talent. i'm not good at anything. my hatred for all of society is growing every god damn day. i have so much rage in me. i am facinated by death and anything dark, evil, and morbid. i play violent video games. i watch violent movies. i listen to death metal and i always dress in black. i enjoy history because of all the wars. i eat pizza, pop corn, big macs, ice cream and you name it. i always drink soda. i like pepsi, coke, dr. pepper and mountain dew. even though i have no confidence, i am proud that im the weirdest person to ever live. i just like to be myself. i might be an outcast but one day my weirdness will bring me glory. i will be on top. so for right now all i can say is FUCK THE WORLD!!!

No dream. no hope

U r lucky. I have poor family. My parents divorced when I was born. Since then I never had met my father. My mother raised 4 children and she also looked after her old mother (however my grandmother died 10 years ago) alone. Her income is not enough for our life. So my older brother started to work when he was 17 while his study. Soon he left his school and went abroad to work. His business had no success. And he is now 38 has 2 children and wife. His income is barely enough to his family. My older sister has no good career and work. She sometimes get money from my old mother's pension. And about me. I'm 20 now. Well I was overachiever in school. I was successful and quite happy for my accomplishments. I am much younger from my sister and brother. In my teenage years I lived with my mother. My mother lost hope in relationship and life. So she didn't want me to go out with boys and friends. So my teenage years was full of loneliness and depression. As I am good at school I easily get good university and scholarship. Other people were quite jealous. But it don't matter. I don't care their jealousy. Because I used to be alone and independent. When I came in city I started to work while study. Because I don't want to get money from my poor family. Working get much time from my study. Then from the 2nd year of university, my grades decreased. I became more and more tired and depressed. My boss pushes me hard. My job is quite good than average. So I can't quit my job. Also I need money for living. But I have to study. I'm losing my hopes, dreams and ambition. Also it's hard that people around me don't understand me. I know I'm very introverted and seems independent to others. But inside me, I am insecure child. I have never grown up. I have very low self esteem however my peers admire me a lot. I have very negative picture of my tomorrow. Right now, I don't know what to do. I can't do anything except crying and binging. Life really sucks.

does it ever get better?

18 yr old high school dropout, live with mom cant find job live in south mississippi baisicly in the middle of nowhere so theres not realy any people around.. considered a weird person thru school.. i have no problem asking girls out but im yet to have one accept, now that im out of school dont really kno where to meet girls. dont want to be single the rest of my young life

I am married to a freaking bitch.

I am 40 years old. I have my ups and downs in life. My sad story starts after my parents get divorced. I am about twenty five years old at the time. I don't know why this has affected me but it has. I never have been an over achiever but I am smart enough to always get by. I got married at the age of 28 years old. I was happy so I thought. She was very emotional detached person. She also seems to have to be right in any argument. She always puts me down especially in front of others. She like to have an audience. I was OK with this. I put up with it for the first 13 years of our marriage. She decided one day she need a friend. She met a woman and her name is Jen. They become very close sometime too close. I wonder is there is something more than friendship. I suspect more but she denies it. I have not cheated on her and She so happy now with her new friend. Me and her rarely talk. I come home from work and she and I will stay in separated rooms. She spend most of her time texting Jen. If she not texting she is one the facebook pages leaving comments to Jen. I want to get out of this broken marriage. The only problem is we have adopted a little girl together. I love Abby. She is now five years old. I don't want her to have to suffer from what I call post divorce syndrome. I have to mention Amy my wife goes out a lot with Jen. Mostly on the weekends to bars and sometime out of town for the entire weekend. I don't really know what to do except i want out. I however don't want to hurt Abby. My life sucks and I wish sometime I am dead. I wouldn't feel this sadness and pain and misery.

Life has become a recurring nightmare. Maybe when I jump, i'll wake up before I hit the ground.

the world is too opressive, I'm too fragile

I am what seems like a average rich kid. had millionaire parents, go to Boston Latin, got good grade, got alot of extracurriculars, accepted to alot of good universities, nice girlfriend, and I think I'm relatively handsome too. I could say I am fortunate to have such luxury aviliable to me.

It was said "with more power came more responsibilities." Yes, I have been blessed with privilages, but I don't think I can handle my life. my life aren't exactly cruising on its own, I had many problems. First of all, my parents were divorced five years ago, and I somehow choose my dad as my legal guardian. He remarried, but my guardians have extremely high expectations, I can't catch a single breath from doing hard work to keep up the perfect image.

I was diagnosed with depression a year ago, from a overload of expectations. I cannot stand the gaze of my father after a test below a 90 or a A- on a report card, and below expecation work appeared more and more often as I get though my high school career. I always wanted to tell them I'm not god, I can't do everything right, their responce was I have only two thing I have to get right, my grade and my extacurriculars. Then my father bombard me with his glorious childhood in which he done many things easily that take me so hard to do.

I rescently became more and more detached,I can feel every classmates admires me, my teachers praises me. but I felt thoughnobody really in the core of their heart likes me. in fact, I can only see jelousy in their eyes, but again, I am a bit delusional and a bit depressed. I felt no love, no real friendships, no understanding.I felt no one is taking me seriously.

I felt everything around me is dead, lifeless. as if I'm locked in a invisible prison cell. but again, how am I not in a prison cell? I'm forced into a life, I have no way to speak out, I am locked in.

Whose life sucks the most MINE!

35, jobless, live in shithole for years. I'm obese and ugly as shit, I fart alot, and I stink like hell. I left education halfway through high school cuz ma family's illegal immigrants, I found a job srving at mcdonald, working as store clerk. I got fired in 2007 and was looking for a job ever since. I used to have an apartment, but now I moved back to my parents house which was really still a two room apartment. I, when im still not fat in high school, dated just one single girl, she had some type of STD, which got me infected. and to mention i never had any friends and my parents never meant to have me but cant have me aborted so you can imagine they HATES me. now I'm fat, ugly, poor, jobless, live with my parents, have STD, had no friends, everyone hates me, so yea.

Life Sucks.

Life sucks. If anyone thinks I'm complaining, or I "want attention", you should shut the fuck up. Some people are stupid cunts. All they talk about is how much fuckin' better they are than you. I wish I could live far away from civilization... but you see, I can't do that. Why? I'm 14. Anyone got an opinion?

Why I'll never be good for anything

It all started good...I think so anyway. But since I could remember all of my friends kept moving it was and is pissing me off. Because one of my other friends is moving next year and well it upsets me. I can also never find the right friend the one who actually thinks the way I do or likes the same things. But back to the topic. In elementary school people were dicks to me and I get blamed for everything. But now things are worse. They people who were dicks before are complete assholes! It's especially not helping when I have problems at home to. I also am having trouble with grades. My mom pisses me off she used to be on drugs and used to get drunk so bad it sickens me so yeah figures! The only thing I'm looking forward to is watching all the assholes I know now grow up and become actual people so I can call them names and complain to them so they'll feel terrible! Jesus Christ sometimes I think I should just come to school with a shanking knife. You guys reading may not understand but I am pissed the fuck off and hate pretty much everything and it only makes things worse that next year I won't have anyone to back me up...