| | Posted by anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
35. Male.
Company made me redundant 3 years ago and it's all been downhill since then.
Marriage broke up through affair, now I live in a shitty rented room and do whatever scraps of work I can get my hands on, but the economy is terrible.
I can't even get a job interview.
Have a girlfriend but she is very self-serving and I obviously don't realise the luck I have in that she wants to be with me.
I have depression that kills my motivations and makes me feel the victim of the whole world all the time.
I try therapy but I am a born liar and I can never tell enough truth to make it useful.
I really hate myself and hate having to be me every day. I just want to get away from me. |
| | Posted by P at March 28, 2012 |
Maybe I am just lazy but I am very tired.
I am so sick of working and studying and working for the sake of money, I never really wanted this job, I just want the money. But money is gone as always.
My sis is not really working and she takes money from my mum, for god's sake, she is 25, i am 22.
And she is just enjoying her life, taking money from parents. Whereas me, I have to work, i pay for my stuff, i pay my bills, i give a big portion of my salary to my mum for home bills, i pay for my own sch fees.
After work, i am too lazy/tired to study anymore, i want to study full time like my friends are.
I was taking up a third language but i gave up because i could not pay any more attention after work.
my job requires me to sit down for 7 hours, ppl are nice but i start to dislike it more and more because the job is really '.
I am so tired, i do not actually mind working and studying if my job is a better job. I wan to work something related to what i wanna do in future.
I want to improve on my writing skills and i hope i do not have to work and can spend time on writing/recording songs/improve my knowledge.
My sis does not give any money to my mum and is a disgrace.
My dad is in heavy debt forever and whenever he comes home he only talks about how tragic his life is.
I hate it.
My mum has to work as a cleaner and my sis is enjoying. My dad is a gambler and there's nothing i can do anymore.
I am so sick of this life , slogging for money and money really talks bigs.
I am so tired of growing up, carrying burden and all.
I wanna sleep. |
| | Posted by bassdrop at March 28, 2012 |
I've had sex with about 11 guys, and lost my virginity at the age of 13.
I didn't have much contact with my parents or siblings during my younger years. They moved to another continent when i was about 10, and sent me off to boarding school. My siblings were all about ten years older than me, although only a couple of years apart from each other (3 siblings to be exact).
I take accountability for everything that happened, although I realize that these things were related to how the early stages of my sexual life started. I moved to north america at the age of 13, and had no exposure to sexuality at all, I had never watched porn, and my parents had not given me a talk about it. All I knew at that age was it was sinful before marrriage.
I was very excited once I moved here, I was moving to North America- I had seen mostly good things about it on TV. I hadn't even looked at guys before, but when I got here that was all the girls I hung out with seemed to talk about. (I sound so sheltered lmao). A lot of things I had to learn the hard way, then again who really has it easy right?
I met my 1st 'boyfriend' online, on a website a lot of my friends had. I met him in person, and he demanded oral sex the first time we met. He was a Trinidadian, about 17 and I was barely 13. The 2nd guy I had sex with was 18 years old and I was 13, he was an ex convict. The 3rd guy was about 21, the 4th was a short chinese-carribean guy about 19 when I was 15... |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
boss sucks. life sucks. bf is emotional and only cares about his own feelings and his family.
my work life sucks. my own life sucks. i may be better than a lot of people but i know i am worse than a lot of ppl too.
yeah. i may loook happy but ppl like to step on my feelings and my shoulder and put words in my mouth or try to control my life.
i hate that when ppl try to control my life.
why sigh sigh sigh???????????????????????????????????????
what about my feeling? i am doing what i can....at work or at home or about the relationship. but what do i get back? ppl asking for more.....
keep asking for more.
ignored my feelings. am i the non-vip? transparent?
i don't need to be the vip but i don't like to be treated as the door mat either.
i am not the door mat. i don't know if i am making the right decisions at all now.
i don't see the end of the tunnel. ppl around me sucks and they think i did too much.
okay maybe from now on i should shut up and be careless like them.
i can do that too............i should. why care when ppl think that i am nosy or talk too much. boss, family, bf, future in-laws. i don't want to care. i am never the one who makes the decision so y blame it on me? talk to the son......not me.
i feel sad......frustrated. very frustrated but yet have no one to talk to.
i can't tell this to anyone.....i can't coz ppl will treat me more like a door mat. if i say that my soon to be husband is now treating me like this....cold and hot.....! god....i want to give up. so sad that no one can help me. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
Years: 16
Sex: F
Well, I guess it's not as bad as some but, I've been struggling with depression for a very long time. I started cutting myself, then turned to drinking, and I had suicidal thoughts ALL THE TIME. I don't believe in medication so I have made that through on my own, with no one to talk to. I don't drink anymore or cut. I still get depressed like average people do. I'm still very insecure about myself. I feel ugly 24/7: teeth, skin, body shape and nose, are what I focus on the most. I'm poor so I can't afford braces, although, I brush my teeth 2 times a day everyday my teeth are still yellow. I have moderate acne + 'bacne' and acne scarring and I have more hair than the average (white)girl should have, yes, I'm white. My nose is big and long. My boobs, hips, and butt are all small, I'm 5 foot 7 (which is tall for where I am, idk about where you are) so I feel like a giant compared to most girls, plus, I'm 120 so I'm thin, which is good most places I suppose, but my friends make fun of my weight all the time so it doesn't help.
I also feel like I can't open up to anybody around me, even though I've known one of them for 9 years. I turn to the internet to express myself and show my true self, by making friends online, I finally have people to share my thoughts with and who will listen to my views and opinions. The only people that TRULY know me are 100's and 1000's of miles away. Sometimes, I think that that's how I like it, not ge... |
| | Posted by CHRISTINA at March 28, 2012 |
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Since 5th grade, I have been struggling a lot. I'm in 8th grade and NOTHING ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING has changed.
In 5th- 6th grade, I had trouble making friends because I was very shy and unattractive. To make it worse, i had these big ears, big feet, and BIG LONG rabbit teeth. I'd get made fun of a lot and trained myself to smile with no teeth. I would dread going to the dentist. It really sucked. I had nobody.
In 7th grade, I had had ENOUGH of this crap with my rabbit teeth so I spent hours and hours and months and months secretly filing my buck teeth down with a nail filer under the covers. It sucked. 7th grade was the worst year of my life though my rabbit teeth were gone. I was so insecure that I came back in 7th grade with TONS of eyeliner and mascara thinking that it would make people think im pretty and be my friend. But as I look back I realize how stupid that was. I would spend break in the bathroom painting the stalls doors with foam soap. I would spend lunch either in the library with no food or in the bath room stall eating my lunch. I had many bad issues with some popular girls who would contstantly make fun of me. I grew this very strange and irritating eye problem. I grew near sighted and every morning when I had to wake up at 6am, my eyes would be BURING READ IRRITATING WATERING ITCHING it sucked. I tried EVERY POSSIBLE SOLUTION TO IRRITATED EYES. I hated my life and my brother would make fun of me because I ha... |
| | Posted by courage at March 28, 2012 |
My husband is in the military, which leaves me alone 80 percent of a year... I live 1600 miles away from my hometown. I'm shy and socially akward. None of the other moms ever like me.. I'm always too young and weird. I was 17 when I had my first kid.. yeah I get it I'm 24 for a 6 year old... you're 35 with a 3 year old. I never have anyone to talk to anymore.. no one to hang out with.. and no one ever likes me. I put up this facade that I don't care... but sometimes after my 12th hour of skyrim... I get fed up with this life. I want a friend. |
| | Posted by Glen Anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
I have two bottles of liquor in my backpack. One is a very good single malt scotch. The other, a cheap bottle of vodka. They're not a full fifth. About a pint each. Unopened. Untouched.
With my hiking back strapped to my back, and when the din of the road has quieted, you can hear the liquid slosh against the containers, one glass, one plastic. I have heard them almost every evening for the past three years.
They're there to remind me of my final decision, the final choice that I am just about to make.
Whether I live or I die.
Instead of dramatics, let me say if you're reading this, then my decision was made. I've likely opened the bottle of vodka, found a quiet, relatively peaceful perch against a tree somewhere hard to see beyond the blacktop of America's highways, and drank the clear liquor down while swallowing pill after pill of Nembutal. Within a half hour, I will be a corpse. I'm guessing my body won't be discovered until after I'm bones, which will likely give me the most serious attention anyone has paid me in years when the police find them.
The scotch I carried with me for celebration, a toast to victory if I managed to scrap through this tribulation. That's not going to happen now. After this last employment rejection (the big one, the real one, the one that would've changed my life finally), I have come to the conclusion that Darwin is indeed right. And I am just not strong enough, desi... |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
i'm a pretty good looking 20 year old girl, and i can't remember the last time i smiled, and it truely felt genuine. getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the morning. my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me today too, which just makes me feel more suicidal than i feel every single minute i breath. i gave hime everything, paid for evyerhthing, i was the best girlfriend...ok, sometimes i was crazy, but come on, i'm a girl, we are nuts. i can't find job, NOT EVEN WENDYS WOULD HIRE ME. i don't have a crimal record and i graduated high school, i went to college for a few semeters, AMD I STILL CANT FIND A FUCKING FULL TIME JOB. i'm considering stripping. i hate living at home with my parents. i have no car. all my friends hate me now for who i became when i was with my ex. i have no one. my exs cock was so big that it fucked my pu$$y up FOREVER, i was hoping to marry him so i wouldn't ever have to feel uncomfortable around someone else naked. i will NEVER have sex again. i sit home all day, 24/7 getting high, and when i can't afford a bag of maryjane, i'll huff paint just to ease my anixety and depression. sometimes i wish i had to courage to just jump in front of a train, or cut my wrists 'long ways' instead of 'side to side.' i'm to pu$$y to kill myself, so i'm just going to be this miserable person the rest of my life. thanks d.j.a, you FUCKED UP MY LIFE. he would make me beg for money outside of stores or threaten to leave me. he made me do it so much and in the town i live in, that i;m now known as the town crackhead, and i've never even smoked it before. he would force me to make so much money that it came down to me prostituting myself. i hate myself for that more than anything else. I'M AT THE LOWEST POINT OF MY LIFE, AND I CAN'T GET THE FUCK OUT OUT OF THIS FUNK! i just want to die. |
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| Posted by reet at March 28, 2012 |
I feel like, i have not done anything usefull in life. i hate it. i am 27 and still not done unversity. I feel like my life sucks. I am not married as for now..and all my friends are. pluse i dont have good job either. I feel like I wasted my whole life planning my life but have not done anything to achive it. i have been at university for 8 years for a 3 year program. eventhough i always end up dropping my course at the end. its suck to think my situation. I cant cant sit and study. nothing is really going in to my brain. I feel like everyone I know moved on with their job and family, i am the looser.
i know if no pain no gain ,but its hard to focuse and do everything as i wanted.:( HATEING EVERYTHING |
| | Posted by mr.blue at March 28, 2012 |
I have been alone longer than your typical death row inmate.I have worked hard , helped others but no interst in me-anymore. This Summer will be 14 years. The nights, thousands upon thousands make me think of how horrific life is. I have kissed a woman 2 years ago, before that 12 years without even a real hug. I have great education and income and have no one to even have a meal with, I have 3 home cooked meals a year when i visit relatives and 1 old friend. i am perfectly healthy and save my money to travel alone and run long distances, i am extremely physiclly healthy but don't remember love, companionship or even talking to someone who is interested. It has been 16 year since someone asked me how i felt. I am 50 now and wish I could even have someone look at me, let alone think of me.
I used to be handsome still nice looking....my lonliness feels like ice packed around my heart and no chance of female contact till past death. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
college, med school, phd, residency, fellowship. Tired of seeing my life pass in front of me and do nothing. tired of work and study over nothing.
i hate my job, i hate my patients and those stupid nurses. i hate my colleges and my life i think i just hate myself. I sleep 3 hours every day, have to do everything im expected to do everything right and to be perfect outside work
Im tired of trying to be perfect. even though I've worked hard to be here, I am lazzy and not very smart. I used to care, now i don't give a damn if you get better or not.
Im so fucking tired of being given bullshit at work everyday. and then i get home and get extra bullshit for not returning calls? what do you think i WAS DOING? TANNING MY ASS AND DRINKING BEER IN HAWAII? NO!!! I was fucking working like an idiot.
fuck everything this life is shit |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 28, 2012 |
Today Im 23. So I have been really excited for this job that I would actually like, but doesn't even pay well. Went it today for my 2nd interview and of course I was competing against another person, I wasnt picked. Happy birthday to me? I fucking hate LA its fucking hard to find a job its been almost 3 months and after countless interviews, still nothing. Everything here is fucking expensive and isnt as nice as everybody thinks. Fuck this place. Cheapest place to rent is 900 a month for a fucking nasty ass studio? How Am I going to afford that with a 400/month car payment? Ive been diagnosed with my first episode of Major depression disorder. Im the last person who cares about health so I dont take that diagnosis seriously. But maybe I do now. Ive been down ever since I graduated high school. I used to cut, its been awhile now, now im thinking about it. Nothing is going my way. I live with relatives, my parents decide to retire. Im broke, my college is screwing me over, I have this pressure from my parents to make something of myself. I hate seeing happy people.. I want to fucking shoot them in the face. Ive been in this room all day for my birthday, I havent eaten, Im thinking of buying some liquor to celebrate. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 27, 2012 |
It's weird how reading about other people's misery makes me feel better, but it does and I hope this helps some of you. I'm 27, and I haven't had a girlfriend in about 5 years. I'm not bad looking and I'm not socially awkward but I've only had one girlfriend in my life. I've had random hook ups and rejections left and right with many months in between, but I don't seem to get anywhere. I doubt my ability to even have good sex anymore. I think it all had to do with me living in social isolation for many years. I kept changing. I changed careers and interests and locations and I've gotten older, but I've gotten nowhere. I'm still where I was five years ago only now I've just lost all my confidence, and I feel suicidal often. I hate age. Time ruins everything. Slowly but surely. |
| | Posted by Kuroneko at March 27, 2012 |
I've always been one to keep strong and just hold things in, but I finally feel like I'm going to burst.
Since I was a child my family has been moving back and forth across the country, and this has not only affected my social life with friends but also my family life. I never got to spend much time with my father because of all this moving around and frankly I'm glad of it. He will never see me as his daughter, all I am to him is some crazy girl who needs Jesus. Yeah, my dad is a religion freak. My mom had always been the one person who I felt would always love me and I could never disappoint, but last year when we found out that I wouldn't be able to attend college because of my undocumented status (I was born in Mexico) she kicked me out and left me on the streets. I was never a problematic daughter; I studied hard on the weekdays and worked at a restaurant on my weekends. If it weren't for my older brother in California I would have ended up begging for a meal at a soup kitchen.
So now I'm living with my brother, trying to finish high school an not knowing what kind of future I'm going to have. And while I'm extremely grateful to my brother and his wife's family for taking me in, I'm tired of his mother in law treating me like a maid. I cook and clean but have no rights of my own like getting to go out with friends. She thinks I'm scum and don't deserve any better treatment. I know I sound like I'm a whiny kid but I'm only 16 and this is no way for a girl my age to live. I've never done any wrong to anyone so I don't see why I have to live this way.. |
| | Posted by anonymous at March 27, 2012 |
I live alone in a derelict, damp-ridden house with my obese, disabled mother. She's not completely dependent on me but I can't leave her alone for more than a day and GOD doesn't she nag and interrogate me. She nags at what I'm wearing, constantly tells me men are vile and I must have nothing to do with them, watches and questions my every move. I wanted to be a doctor and was at sixth form college in the nearby city doing the appropriate A levels... but I somehow got addicted to cocaine and I've left college after failing all my coursework. My mother doesn't know, she thinks I still go there every day, I daren't even imagine what her reaction will be when she eventually finds out. I've started fucking men just to get drugs. I'm anorexic. I suffer a pathological jealousy of my cousin because she's so thin and beautiful, and can't stop myself trying to jepoardise everything she does, even though we used to be friends. Worst of all, I have abnormal sexual fantasies of causing pain and injury to men I find attractive. The one time I've had sex for enjoyment rather than drugs, which was the time I lost my virginity, I ended up slapping the guy hard round the face and scratching him. I don't think he's told anyone but I feel like I must be psychotic. Even so, I still can't help thinking about it when I masturbate... which brings me to the horror of what happened last weekend. I forgot to lock the bathroom door and I was naked in a crouching position quickly doing th... |
| | Posted by johnny at March 27, 2012 |
I have had a hard life and am still miserable and don’t know what to do besides cry. I know men are not supposed to cry but I feel so empty inside. I feel so betrayed by others. I was in the military and wished I had stayed in but now I’m too old to go back in. I have had many jobs but could never keep them long enough. I either got laid off or let go. I am so embarrassed. I went to school and got an education and have a degree but it’s useless. I’ve applied for hundreds and hundreds of jobs. I’m either overqualified or don’t have any experience or am too old. I have been betrayed over and over again and I am still so naïve that I tend to trust everyone. It’s a bad trait I have from my mother who is so honest and trustworthy that she trusts everyone. I had a good job with great money but my boss was racist and I had to put up with it. Even some of my coworkers were racist. One day when I had enough I spoke up and tried to stand up for myself after I was belittled and humiliated and cussed out in front of my coworkers. Human resources heard about it but they did nothing about it. The racism and bullying continued and I put up with it because I needed my job. After I spoke up things were not the same and I was looked at and called the rat for speaking up. I also found out that the boss and this other employee who I truly though was my friend were in together racking up overtime and splitting it. It was hard to prove but he was the only one who was authorized to do overt... |
| | Posted by ugly bitch at March 27, 2012 |
once u become ugly or once u notice that you are ugly there is no turning back... you cannot convince yourself that you are pretty.. and ugly brings alot to you. it brings never having a boyfriend, all your friends are prettier and it brings depression. I have never been so insecure , i have no idea what got into me.. and the thing is i dont care if im " pretty " or "cute" i want to be fucking beauitufl and gorgeous!! will i ever be that girl that everyone looks at and says "wowww" NO ofcourse not cause i have thiss fucking huge nose , moustache coming, small lips, weird eyes, nasty curly ass hair... im a girl btw and im only 14 but i feel like life is just going so wrong and i always have bad luck and i always cover my face and im just so fucking ugly its fucking disgusting, i am a joke , i feel bad for people that have to look at me beccause i know i would not want to look at someone that looks like me.. my noseee fuckinggg killlssss me you dont understand i wish i had a cute small nose but noooo i have this fucking hugee shitt.. like wtff i cant take pics cuz of my nose nd on top of all my flaws i have yellow teeth which i dont get because i brush my teeth every day twice a day.................... ughhh i hate myself so muchhh, i always think about suicide but thwen i think what if i change?? maybe theres hoppe i doubt it tho.. im so unexperienced (not tht i should be ) but still everyone made out already with boys nd i had one nasty ass tap kiss when iwas in 4th gra... |
| | Posted by nobody at March 27, 2012 |
i wonder what the world has become these days,
i am almost about 50, no work, no money, no land for live.
i lived most of my childhood in boarding schools, cause it was easyer
for my parents to get rid of me, first mistake, if u fuck u know u can have a child, and u are responsable for it. childhood sucked, every day since i was 6 cleaning a basement on my knees, and listening to the fights my parents had.school was ok a little till my mom decided it ws more good i went to a lower type of school (again boarding school)i hated it, so a dropout on my 16 th. work for me was as 13 in a dozen, had some good jobs, but always by some reason could not hold it (part my fault)money always a problem, i really not need too much, but life and gouvernement of my country made it expensive, yes in return social benefits and care for everybody, but the only one who benefits is the gouvernement.lovelife sucked everytime, i had my share of gf but it was always not me they loved, but what i could do for them (no money, no honey)but love made me blind many times, leaving me now with nothing. i gave up my life before to start a new one in another country with a woman i loved, it lasted 9 months, till my money was gone, and so was she, so now i sit in a foreign country no family, no money, no home, just a backpack with some clothes. it all comes down to caring, nobody have time anymore for each other, busy too much with their own lifes,if u look for help people ignore u, if u want to kill yourself officials say not do that. why ?to much paperwork after ? well if i knew a way i did it, cause life sucks, and i am tired of it, no love , nobody who cares, so why should i not ? nobody will miss me, i am just another nobody in this sick crazy world. |
| | Posted by Blah at March 27, 2012 |
How can I start?
Life has me up and down all the time. I'm 20 years old and i'm in college. I'm currently studying to be an elementary teacher. I'm also married to my high school sweetheart. We have been together for 3 years now. We also have a puppy. Well technically my life doesn't suck from there, but I still have more to say. Me and my love both study online, he has a job with his dad making 12/hr, I'm jobless. I just got fired from my old job I was making 9/hr. I hate Disney. I have 10 more years from college and each month keeps getting harder for me. My hubby gots only 2 more years then he is done. After that were suppose to move out of state. In looking for his dream job. I'm puertorican and his irish, the irony, lol. I play video games 24/7, plus studying. He does alot. My life sucks in the point that COLLEGE IS TOO DAMN FAR, FOR ME ACHIEVING MY DREAM JOB. Ten years is alot. I'm doing a doctor. My In laws moving in with us, and omg. How i wish they fix up their life already. Their story is that the dad has this psycho ex girlfriend, the mom had this cheating ex husband. They sort of hate each other. He's trying to get rid of the psycho but he had a kid with her so he's trying to fight for custody, but he's taking forever to do it. Mother in law, is working her but off for the in law dad. But he's the typical workalcoholic. He makes 2,000 bi/weekly. He has his own bussiness. All i know there is too much drama...... long story short.. right? |
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